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mary_bobo
Guest
Under what circumstances can a catholic get a civil divorce and still be faithful to the church? Someone asked me this today, and I did not know how to answer and be correct.
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Toni
Guest
I believe you can get a civil divorce but can not date until an annulment takes place.
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mary_bobo
Guest
Thank you for your reply, Toni. What I am asking is under what circumstances may a catholic get a divorce? That is the question I was posed and I don’t know the answer. There were no conditions in the question when it was posed to me, no question of annulment or remarriage. Under what circumstances may a catholic get a divorce and still be a practicing catholic?
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YinYangMom
Guest
mary bobo:
Divorce is not a sin in and of itself.
The potential sin which comes into play for a divorced person is adultery because no matter what the civil courts say a marriage is binding until death do they part.
Divorced Catholics are called to lead the same celibate lifestyle single Catholics lead because they are still married in God’s eyes.
IF they file for and receive an annulment then the sacramental covenant of the marriage did not take place as it should have so they are not bound to that person until death and they are free to enter into a covenantal relationship with someone else…
but even then, they are to lead celibate lifestyles until they marry in the church.
Being faithful to the church means living a life of strong morals according to the teachings of Jesus. One can do this in married state, a divorced state or a single state. The state, in and of itself, is not the determining factor.
I don’t think the Catholic church spells out conditions for a divorce. It’s my understanding that divorce is not the issue which renders a practicing Catholic in good standing or not in good standing…it’s how the divorced Catholic lives out the rest of their life which determines that.Thank you for your reply, Toni. What I am asking is under what circumstances may a catholic get a divorce? That is the question I was posed and I don’t know the answer. There were no conditions in the question when it was posed to me, no question of annulment or remarriage. Under what circumstances may a catholic get a divorce and still be a practicing catholic?
Divorce is not a sin in and of itself.
The potential sin which comes into play for a divorced person is adultery because no matter what the civil courts say a marriage is binding until death do they part.
Divorced Catholics are called to lead the same celibate lifestyle single Catholics lead because they are still married in God’s eyes.
IF they file for and receive an annulment then the sacramental covenant of the marriage did not take place as it should have so they are not bound to that person until death and they are free to enter into a covenantal relationship with someone else…
but even then, they are to lead celibate lifestyles until they marry in the church.
Being faithful to the church means living a life of strong morals according to the teachings of Jesus. One can do this in married state, a divorced state or a single state. The state, in and of itself, is not the determining factor.
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Tantum_ergo
Guest
Ah. Suppose that I am in a situation where my husband, or wife, has decided he or she wants a divorce. We have children, I need legal protection etc. for them. If the other party sues for divorce, I can agree in order to secure legal rights and protection for myself and my children, while still acknowledging that divorce itself is a great evil, and, of course, making every effort to reconcile if possible, and living celibately if it is not possible. While I may be civilly divorced, I am still legally married in the eyes of the Church, unless I receive a decree of nullity.
Now, suppose that I am the one who wants a divorce. That becomes much more problematic. Unless the reason I want a divorce is because, once again, it is for legal protection of myself and my children. Suppose that my husband is molesting my child, and I find out. In order to protect my child from that molestation, I may file for civil divorce. Obviously I again live celibately, am considered married in the eyes of the church, etc. just as above.
Sometimes a separation (and they can be legal ones, not just simply “moving out”) is the way to go. If a couple is having problems, but there is no violence of any kind, just “growing apart”, a divorce is not necessarily indicated. Sometimes people DO get back together–a little time spent apart, not to mention exploring legal costs, thinking about splitting up assets, etc., or even just realizing that nobody’s perfect and maybe things can work out with time and effort.
The principle, if not the sole “allowance” for divorce, is legal protection and legal rights for the innocent party and children. And even that “allowance” acknowledges that divorce is still a GRAVE EVIL.
Every effort is to be made to have reconciliation if at ALL possible; or to establish a decree of nullity IF in fact there was no valid marriage to begin with.
Now, suppose that I am the one who wants a divorce. That becomes much more problematic. Unless the reason I want a divorce is because, once again, it is for legal protection of myself and my children. Suppose that my husband is molesting my child, and I find out. In order to protect my child from that molestation, I may file for civil divorce. Obviously I again live celibately, am considered married in the eyes of the church, etc. just as above.
Sometimes a separation (and they can be legal ones, not just simply “moving out”) is the way to go. If a couple is having problems, but there is no violence of any kind, just “growing apart”, a divorce is not necessarily indicated. Sometimes people DO get back together–a little time spent apart, not to mention exploring legal costs, thinking about splitting up assets, etc., or even just realizing that nobody’s perfect and maybe things can work out with time and effort.
The principle, if not the sole “allowance” for divorce, is legal protection and legal rights for the innocent party and children. And even that “allowance” acknowledges that divorce is still a GRAVE EVIL.
Every effort is to be made to have reconciliation if at ALL possible; or to establish a decree of nullity IF in fact there was no valid marriage to begin with.
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YinYangMom
Guest
Tantum ergo:
Much better put than my post, thank you.Ah. Suppose that I am in a situation where my husband, or wife, has decided he or she wants a divorce. We have children, I need legal protection etc. for them. If the other party sues for divorce, I can agree in order to secure legal rights and protection for myself and my children, while still acknowledging that divorce itself is a great evil, and, of course, making every effort to reconcile if possible, and living celibately if it is not possible. While I may be civilly divorced, I am still legally married in the eyes of the Church, unless I receive a decree of nullity.
Now, suppose that I am the one who wants a divorce. That becomes much more problematic. Unless the reason I want a divorce is because, once again, it is for legal protection of myself and my children. Suppose that my husband is molesting my child, and I find out. In order to protect my child from that molestation, I may file for civil divorce. Obviously I again live celibately, am considered married in the eyes of the church, etc. just as above.
Sometimes a separation (and they can be legal ones, not just simply “moving out”) is the way to go. If a couple is having problems, but there is no violence of any kind, just “growing apart”, a divorce is not necessarily indicated. Sometimes people DO get back together–a little time spent apart, not to mention exploring legal costs, thinking about splitting up assets, etc., or even just realizing that nobody’s perfect and maybe things can work out with time and effort.
The principle, if not the sole “allowance” for divorce, is legal protection and legal rights for the innocent party and children. And even that “allowance” acknowledges that divorce is still a GRAVE EVIL.
Every effort is to be made to have reconciliation if at ALL possible; or to establish a decree of nullity IF in fact there was no valid marriage to begin with.
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1ke
Guest
Here are the applicable Canons that deal with this subject:
ARTICLE 2: SEPARATION WHILE THE BOND REMAINS
Can. 1151 Spouses have the obligation and the right to maintain their common conjugal life, unless a lawful reason excuses them.
Can. 1152 ß1 It is earnestly recommended that a spouse, motivated by Christian charity and solicitous for the good of the family, should not refuse to pardon an adulterous partner and should not sunder the conjugal life. Nevertheless, if that spouse has not either expressly or tacitly condoned the other’s fault, he or she has the right to sever the common conjugal life, provided he or she has not consented to the adultery, nor been the cause of it, nor also committed adultery.
ß2 Tacit condonation occurs if the innocent spouse, after becoming aware of the adultery, has willingly engaged in a marital relationship with the other spouse; it is presumed, however, if the innocent spouse has maintained the common conjugal life for six months, and has not had recourse to ecclesiastical or to civil authority.
ß3 Within six months of having spontaneously terminated the common conjugal life, the innocent spouse is to bring a case for separation to the competent ecclesiastical authority. Having examined all the circumstances, this authority is to consider whether the innocent spouse can be brought to condone the fault and not prolong the separation permanently.
Can. 1153 ß1 A spouse who occasions grave danger of soul or body to the other or to the children, or otherwise makes the common life unduly difficult, provides the other spouse with a reason to leave, either by a decree of the local Ordinary or, if there is danger in delay, even on his or her own authority.
ß2 In all cases, when the reason for separation ceases, the common conjugal life is to be restored, unless otherwise provided by ecclesiastical authority.
Can. 1154 When a separation of spouses has taken place, provision is always, and in good time, to be made for the due maintenance and upbringing of the children.
Can. 1155 The innocent spouse may laudably readmit the other spouse to the conjugal life, in which case he or she renounces the right to separation .
ARTICLE 2: SEPARATION WHILE THE BOND REMAINS
Can. 1151 Spouses have the obligation and the right to maintain their common conjugal life, unless a lawful reason excuses them.
Can. 1152 ß1 It is earnestly recommended that a spouse, motivated by Christian charity and solicitous for the good of the family, should not refuse to pardon an adulterous partner and should not sunder the conjugal life. Nevertheless, if that spouse has not either expressly or tacitly condoned the other’s fault, he or she has the right to sever the common conjugal life, provided he or she has not consented to the adultery, nor been the cause of it, nor also committed adultery.
ß2 Tacit condonation occurs if the innocent spouse, after becoming aware of the adultery, has willingly engaged in a marital relationship with the other spouse; it is presumed, however, if the innocent spouse has maintained the common conjugal life for six months, and has not had recourse to ecclesiastical or to civil authority.
ß3 Within six months of having spontaneously terminated the common conjugal life, the innocent spouse is to bring a case for separation to the competent ecclesiastical authority. Having examined all the circumstances, this authority is to consider whether the innocent spouse can be brought to condone the fault and not prolong the separation permanently.
Can. 1153 ß1 A spouse who occasions grave danger of soul or body to the other or to the children, or otherwise makes the common life unduly difficult, provides the other spouse with a reason to leave, either by a decree of the local Ordinary or, if there is danger in delay, even on his or her own authority.
ß2 In all cases, when the reason for separation ceases, the common conjugal life is to be restored, unless otherwise provided by ecclesiastical authority.
Can. 1154 When a separation of spouses has taken place, provision is always, and in good time, to be made for the due maintenance and upbringing of the children.
Can. 1155 The innocent spouse may laudably readmit the other spouse to the conjugal life, in which case he or she renounces the right to separation .
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1ke
Guest
And the Catechism:
The fidelity of conjugal love
1646 By its very nature conjugal love requires the inviolable fidelity of the spouses. This is the consequence of the gift of themselves which they make to each other. Love seeks to be definitive; it cannot be an arrangement “until further notice.” The “intimate union of marriage, as a mutual giving of two persons, and the good of the children, demand total fidelity from the spouses and require an unbreakable union between them.”[155]
1647 The deepest reason is found in the fidelity of God to his covenant, in that of Christ to his Church. Through the sacrament of Matrimony the spouses are enabled to represent this fidelity and witness to it. Through the sacrament, the indissolubility of marriage receives a new and deeper meaning.
1648 It can seem difficult, even impossible, to bind oneself for life to another human being. This makes it all the more important to proclaim the Good News that God loves us with a definitive and irrevocable love, that married couples share in this love, that it supports and sustains them, and that by their own faithfulness they can be witnesses to God’s faithful love. Spouses who with God’s grace give this witness, often in very difficult conditions, deserve the gratitude and support of the ecclesial community.[156]
1649 Yet there are some situations in which living together becomes practically impossible for a variety of reasons. In such cases the Church permits the physical separation of the couple and their living apart. The spouses do not cease to be husband and wife before God and so are not free to contract a new union. In this difficult situation, the best solution would be, if possible, reconciliation. The Christian community is called to help these persons live out their situation in a Christian manner and in fidelity to their marriage bond which remains indissoluble.[157]
1650 Today there are numerous Catholics in many countries who have recourse to civil divorce and contract new civil unions. In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ - “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery”[158] the Church maintains that a new union cannot be recognized as valid, if the first marriage was. If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God’s law. Consequently, they cannot receive Eucharistic communion as long as this situation persists. For the same reason, they cannot exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities. Reconciliation through the sacrament of Penance can be granted only to those who have repented for having violated the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, and who are committed to living in complete continence.
1651 Toward Christians who live in this situation, and who often keep the faith and desire to bring up their children in a Christian manner, priests and the whole community must manifest an attentive solicitude, so that they do not consider themselves separated from the Church, in whose life they can and must participate as baptized persons:
They should be encouraged to listen to the Word of God, to attend the Sacrifice of the Mass, to persevere in prayer, to contribute to works of charity and to community efforts for justice, to bring up their children in the Christian faith, to cultivate the spirit and practice of penance and thus implore, day by day, God’s grace.
The fidelity of conjugal love
1646 By its very nature conjugal love requires the inviolable fidelity of the spouses. This is the consequence of the gift of themselves which they make to each other. Love seeks to be definitive; it cannot be an arrangement “until further notice.” The “intimate union of marriage, as a mutual giving of two persons, and the good of the children, demand total fidelity from the spouses and require an unbreakable union between them.”[155]
1647 The deepest reason is found in the fidelity of God to his covenant, in that of Christ to his Church. Through the sacrament of Matrimony the spouses are enabled to represent this fidelity and witness to it. Through the sacrament, the indissolubility of marriage receives a new and deeper meaning.
1648 It can seem difficult, even impossible, to bind oneself for life to another human being. This makes it all the more important to proclaim the Good News that God loves us with a definitive and irrevocable love, that married couples share in this love, that it supports and sustains them, and that by their own faithfulness they can be witnesses to God’s faithful love. Spouses who with God’s grace give this witness, often in very difficult conditions, deserve the gratitude and support of the ecclesial community.[156]
1649 Yet there are some situations in which living together becomes practically impossible for a variety of reasons. In such cases the Church permits the physical separation of the couple and their living apart. The spouses do not cease to be husband and wife before God and so are not free to contract a new union. In this difficult situation, the best solution would be, if possible, reconciliation. The Christian community is called to help these persons live out their situation in a Christian manner and in fidelity to their marriage bond which remains indissoluble.[157]
1650 Today there are numerous Catholics in many countries who have recourse to civil divorce and contract new civil unions. In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ - “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery”[158] the Church maintains that a new union cannot be recognized as valid, if the first marriage was. If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God’s law. Consequently, they cannot receive Eucharistic communion as long as this situation persists. For the same reason, they cannot exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities. Reconciliation through the sacrament of Penance can be granted only to those who have repented for having violated the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, and who are committed to living in complete continence.
1651 Toward Christians who live in this situation, and who often keep the faith and desire to bring up their children in a Christian manner, priests and the whole community must manifest an attentive solicitude, so that they do not consider themselves separated from the Church, in whose life they can and must participate as baptized persons:
They should be encouraged to listen to the Word of God, to attend the Sacrifice of the Mass, to persevere in prayer, to contribute to works of charity and to community efforts for justice, to bring up their children in the Christian faith, to cultivate the spirit and practice of penance and thus implore, day by day, God’s grace.
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