Divorce and the wedding rings as sacramentals

[otjm]

Thank you DeusCaritasEst for bringing this topic up.
I got my 23 year church marriage annulled last June. It is a long story which I will not
go into but I would like to thank you all for your replies, etc which have set my mind
at rest.
I got into a relationship in 2005, which lasted 3 years and thought I would marry this
new guy once my annulment came through but I do not want to marry this new guy,
even though I have a child from him.
I have not even opened the envelop I received from the marriage tribunal.
I am stilling using my former husbands name. Is it right to use the name of your husband
even though your marriage has already been annulled?
About my wedding ring, I took it off when I started the annulment process and my
elder son said he would keep it.
Your answer’s would be appreciated,
Thank you and God bless

The issue about your name - using your maiden name, your husband’s name, or some other name, is a matter of state law. The Church has no interest in the issue and no authority if it did have an interest.

Each state has their way of dealing with name changes. Often, in the decree, it may be noted that you have taken back your maiden name or will go by another name. If nothing is mentioned in the decree, then unless state law automatically changes your name back to the one you used before the marriage, you keep your married name. There normally is a process of legally changing your name; but at least in some states, the whole issue has become somewhat sloppy in that people do what moves them and not necessarily going through the courts to make the change. Generally, as long as you are not trying to defraud anyone, you can do what you please.

That is a general overview of the issue. Ultimately, it is a matter of law of the state you live in. You might consider whether or not you might have economic difficulties by changing your name; banks and other groups you deal with financially can sometimes be more difficult (and then there is our beloved Motor Vehicles Division or equivalent).

 

[Jossy]

The issue about your name - using your maiden name, your husband’s name, or some other name, is a matter of state law. The Church has no interest in the issue and no authority if it did have an interest.

Each state has their way of dealing with name changes. Often, in the decree, it may be noted that you have taken back your maiden name or will go by another name. If nothing is mentioned in the decree, then unless state law automatically changes your name back to the one you used before the marriage, you keep your married name. There normally is a process of legally changing your name; but at least in some states, the whole issue has become somewhat sloppy in that people do what moves them and not necessarily going through the courts to make the change. Generally, as long as you are not trying to defraud anyone, you can do what you please.

That is a general overview of the issue. Ultimately, it is a matter of law of the state you live in. You might consider whether or not you might have economic difficulties by changing your name; banks and other groups you deal with financially can sometimes be more difficult (and then there is our beloved Motor Vehicles Division or equivalent).

I come from a country in the Pacific and it does not matter, whether you still wish to
use your former husbands name or your maiden name, so I will still use my marriage
name.

As you also mentioned, my bank account, driver’s licence, etc are all under my marriage
name so I will leave it as it is.

But thank you for your comment as well.

 

[dsulpizio]

I don’t understand divorced Catholics with no annullement not continuting to wear their wedding rings. I still wear mine, like iridescentangel, to show that I accept my marital status in God’s eyes as still married.
Wearing my ring keeps men away and helps me not to fall into the error of dating and acting like a single woman.

If I do get an annullment, then the ring will come off, but not until then. If I don’t get an annullment, I’ll continue wearing it until death parts us. Hard but the correct thing to do.

If I need the money and sell my ring, I’ll get a cheap replacement to wear.

 

[DebChris]

I don’t understand divorced Catholics with no annullement not continuting to wear their wedding rings. I still wear mine, like iridescentangel, to show that I accept my marital status in God’s eyes as still married.
Wearing my ring keeps men away and helps me not to fall into the error of dating and acting like a single woman.

If I do get an annullment, then the ring will come off, but not until then. If I don’t get an annullment, I’ll continue wearing it until death parts us. Hard but the correct thing to do.

If I need the money and sell my ring, I’ll get a cheap replacement to wear.

Sometimes it’s a matter of what was happening during that dark period.
I never thought my ring would come off my finger. As already mentioned, I felt a tremendous release of energy at the time.
My removing my ring was my way of releasing my husband from the promises he made. I want my husband to return because of a true change of heart and desire to renew the marriage vows.
When I went on my Easter retreat, I was asked if I still loved him. The answer was “I love him enough to let him go.” I was given the book of Hosea to read.
As time passed, I learned that love not only lets go, it invites back. It reaches out and provides an opening.
Whether or not my husband ever accepts my invitation for reconciliation is less important than my leaving the door open to the possibility.
Even should he return, I know there are some things we need to do before we can live together once more as husband and wife.
I am called to remain faithful. I continue to live a celibate life.

 

[Jossy]

Sometimes it’s a matter of what was happening during that dark period.
I never thought my ring would come off my finger. As already mentioned, I felt a tremendous release of energy at the time.
My removing my ring was my way of releasing my husband from the promises he made. I want my husband to return because of a true change of heart and desire to renew the marriage vows.
When I went on my Easter retreat, I was asked if I still loved him. The answer was “I love him enough to let him go.” I was given the book of Hosea to read.
As time passed, I learned that love not only lets go, it invites back. It reaches out and provides an opening.
Whether or not my husband ever accepts my invitation for reconciliation is less important than my leaving the door open to the possibility.
Even should he return, I know there are some things we need to do before we can live together once more as husband and wife.
I am called to remain faithful. I continue to live a celibate life.