Divorce be the end for my soul?

[protestantinca]

What you’re saying is not true. Our tribunal here handles about 220 cases a year and grants 180 declarations of nullity. There MUST be reasonable grounds for nullity, including:

-Marriage outside the Church without a dispensation
-Intent not to be faithful
-Intent not to be married for life
-Lack of understanding of the nature of marriage
-Intent not to have children
-Lack of valid consent (e.g. getting married only because you were pregnant)
-Being too closely related
-Being underage
-Being already married to someone else

I suspect that the primary reason that most declarations of nullity are granted is that people fall into about 3 or 4 categories:

1. Divorced non-Catholic wishing to marry a Catholic
2. Poorly catechized Catholic who is divorced and wishes to remarry
3. Divorced and remarried non-Catholic wishing to become Catholic
4. (possibly falls under other categories) Non-Catholic married civilly to a non-Catholic, became Catholic, divorced, and wishes to remarry a Catholic

As you can see, in many of these cases we are dealing with people who were not married in the Catholic Church. Consequently, they would not necessarily have had good marriage preparation. (DH falls into my “possible fourth” category; he received a declaration of nullity and we are sacramentally married. He and his ex married civilly and had NO marriage preparation of any kind.) As a result, they may not fully understand the nature of marriage.

If there are NOT reasonable grounds for nullity, a declaration of nullity is NOT granted. Every marriage is considered valid until proven otherwise.

I won’t say much more because the OP was searching for advise not a technical discussion on annulment. Suffice it to say that the reasons you provide for granting annulment are so vague and ambiguous that as a matter of practice what the Catholic Church does is to grant divorces under a different name. Granting 80% of all petitions supports my contention in fact.

To the OP: I still advise you to avoid your divorce if it is humanly feasible. Unless there is domestic violence, I think that the best a married couple can do is to work out their differences before pushing for the final solution, even when there are no children involved.

 

[Vico]

I won’t say much more because the OP was searching for advise not a technical discussion on annulment. Suffice it to say that the reasons you provide for granting annulment are so vague and ambiguous that as a matter of practice what the Catholic Church does is to grant divorces under a different name. Granting 80% of all petitions supports my contention in fact.

To the OP: I still advise you to avoid your divorce if it is humanly feasible. Unless there is domestic violence, I think that the best a married couple can do is to work out their differences before pushing for the final solution, even when there are no children involved.

Annulment is different concept than divorce because divorce operates on what existed rather than being a declaration of what never existed. The Catholic Church has dissolution in addition to annulment, which can occur for those that have a valid marriage that is either natural or non consummated sacrament, or by death:CIC Can. 1141 A marriage that is* ratum et consummatum* can be dissolved by no human power and by no cause, except death.

CIC Can. 1142 For a just cause, the Roman Pontiff can dissolve a non-consummated marriage between baptized persons or between a baptized party and a non-baptized party at the request of both parties or of one of them, even if the other party is unwilling.
Pauline privilege is dissolution of a marriage between the non-baptized in favor of the faith is based on the teaching of St Paul (see 1 Cor 7:12-16). Similarly the is dissolution in the Petrine privilege is like Pauline privilege except one spouse is baptized.

 

[AussieSkip]

Hi All,

Thank you, each of you, for all your help - I am overwhelmed, and I feel so grateful for my Catholic family.

I have taken the advice and will be seeking help from my Parish Priest before I do anything else.

I was just very concerned as I am still quite young (26) and I feel that I will miss out on becoming a Mother/decent wife because of this. (As I know I cant re-marry, live with another person etc…!So I felt quite stuck!) I also know I am thinking way too far ahead! So I will speak to my ‘Fr’ and hopefully from there I can take the next step. I can forgive, but I can’t see things being the same.

Anyhow, again, thank you all for taking the time to help me and give the advice I needed.

God Bless. XX

 

[His_helpmeet]

I won’t say much more because the OP was searching for advise not a technical discussion on annulment. Suffice it to say that the reasons you provide for granting annulment are so vague and ambiguous that as a matter of practice what the Catholic Church does is to grant divorces under a different name. Granting 80% of all petitions supports my contention in fact.

To the OP: I still advise you to avoid your divorce if it is humanly feasible. Unless there is domestic violence, I think that the best a married couple can do is to work out their differences before pushing for the final solution, even when there are no children involved.

I think there is one part you’re missing here to finish the discussion on nullity: witnesses. The reasons are not that vague if you consider that there must be witnesses who can attest to the grounds for nullity.

In terms of divorce, I do agree with you that it is best to work out differences first. DH and I agreed before we married that divorce was not an option on the table. (He is divorced from his first wife; however, she left him and there was NO domestic violence on his part.)

 

[Mike_Dye]

Hello everyone,

I just wondered if anyone could help me. If I were to divorce my husband due to him being unfaithful, would that be the end for my soul? We have no children, (although was hopeful) and I feel I need to get out of this marriage.

I’m unsure what to do, I know I could speak to our priest who we are close to, but I can’t face it.

Any help or guidance would be greatly appreciated as most of my family are not Catholic and I don’t really know where else to turn.

First of all, rest easy, your soul is not in danger over this issue, you did no wrong. Second, as hard as it seems, talking to your priest is probably the best place to start. He will find out about it anyway, and can give council and insights on possible reconciliation, If reconciliation is not possible and the divorce happens you can still live a sacramental life. Annulment would be necessary if you wanted to marry in the future. You will have to approach your priest to get the annulment process started.
My prayers are with you during this difficult time.