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Dakota_Roberts
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Yes they would which is why there isn’t a zero tolerance policy.
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Sheadad
Guest
But we aren’t talking divorce here. The OP said that she wanted out of the marriage, but the marriage isn’t over. From what I gathered, they are still together, so we are going on that assumption. To say that standing up for oneself is DV and that in a divorce it would have consequences is conjecture.I’m just saying, it tends to be pretty dificult as it is for the father of children to get custody. If he gives her anything she can use against him, such as him lashing out at her and yelling at her in front of the kids etc it just makes it all the more likely that she will get custody rather than him if it comes to divorce. Thats just the way it is.
That being said, I still feel its time to get tough and reverse the tide of this disordered power struggle. If they are Catholic, it means all that I’ve said combined with intense prayer and a consistant Catholic spiritual life. If he says its time for the rosary, everyone says the rosary. No missing Mass because someone doesn’t feel like it. Again, charitable and loving but with fatherly strength.
No reason to bring divorce into the equation until the family has regained its foundation in Christ. What in the world has happened to strong family men? This family and so many others need fathers that have pure spiritual and emotional strength. The kind of strength that loves a wife and will lay down his life to be sure she gets to heaven.
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thewanderer
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I’m not saying that the husband will divorce, but if his wife is forced to live in an evironment that makes her uncomfortable, who is to say that she won’t go divorce him? Especially since she keeps such bad company who have already shown their influence over her. (All of this is taking what we have been told of the situation at face value, there are, of course, always two sides to every story). If his wife decides that she doesn’t like a husband who yells at her why wouldn’t she end up divorcing him? He won’t be able to do a thing about it and she will most likely get custody of the children. Not only is it a fact that women get custody much more frequently, it is also a fact that women are the ones who most frequently file for divorce. Considering the type of friends she has already allowed to influence her and her life decisions what in the world makes anyone think that she wouldn’t divorce him?
**ETA: **Strong family men do not yell at their wives, especially not in front of their children. I witnessed enough of that growing up in my own family and I can assure you it caused me many emotional scars. My most vivid memory from childhood was of one such incidence. Yes, he needs to be strong and show his wife that her behaviour is unnaceptable, but yelling at her in front of the kids until he has emotionally abused her into submission is not the way to do it.
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Dakota_Roberts
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It also makes her more likely to claim he abused her and the kids.
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thewanderer
Guest
Right, which makes his already poor chances of getting custody even worse.
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silentfactor80
Guest
Well everyone thank you for the suggestions. My friend is going to give it a month and file for separation. He is also installing camera’s in the house and he told her he is doing it…albeit for security purposes. He is hedging that with the camera’s around she will at least be civil at home where the kids are. Pretty smart I think.
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