Divorce/forbidding to be Catholic

[EllaP]

Hi, I have a question.

I know divorce is an absolute no however;

What if your husband (a lapsed Catholic) forbids you to practice your religon. Won’t allow his kids or his wife go to church.

After years and years of praying silently for his conversion the wife just can’t take it anymore because she is truly missing her church and is feeling the effects of separating snd loosing Jesus.

What then? What does she do?

Thank you God bless

 

[pensmama87]

Hi, I have a question.

I know divorce is an absolute no however;

What if your husband (a lapsed Catholic) forbids you to practice your religon. Won’t allow his kids or his wife go to church.

After years and years of praying silently for his conversion the wife just can’t take it anymore because she is truly missing her church and is feeling the effects of separating snd loosing Jesus.

What then? What does she do?

Thank you God bless

The bolded is not true.

I would consult a priest and a marriage counselor. What promises did the husband make when you were married? Were you married in the Church?

What would happen if the wife and kids went anyway?

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Hi, I have a question.

I know divorce is an absolute no however;

What if your husband (a lapsed Catholic) forbids you to practice your religon. Won’t allow his kids or his wife go to church.

After years and years of praying silently for his conversion the wife just can’t take it anymore because she is truly missing her church and is feeling the effects of separating snd loosing Jesus.

What then? What does she do?

Thank you God bless

There is definately more to this story than you wrote.
In the western world, another person does not have the power to prevent another from worship. The “forbids” aspect seems odd.

Divorce is permitted in circumstances. It’s divorce (of a valid marriage) and remarriage that is a problem. If a husband is forbidding and controlling this way I’m quite sure there is more to this issue. Why can’t the wife just go to Mass on Sunday, what prevents her from doing so?

 

[Bonnie]

In the western world, another person does not have the power to prevent another from worship. The “forbids” aspect seems odd.

I did know someone long ago whose husband forbade her to go to church. He kept her completely intimidated by his temper & cruelty. The day he died was the happiest in her life. She never missed a Sunday after that.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I did know someone long ago whose husband forbade her to go to church. He kept her completely intimidated by his temper & cruelty. The day he died was the happiest in her life. She never missed a Sunday after that.

Well in the case that the woman is abused she should seek legal and mental counseling.

Forced servitude and captivity is illegal you know.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Rarely would it be the man banning the woman from the sspx. A friend of mine’s wife put her foot down about the sspx.

The sspx aspect is indeed intriguing but let’s not get too distracted by it.

 

[pianistclare]

Rarely would it be the man banning the woman from the sspx. A friend of mine’s wife put her foot down about the sspx.

The sspx aspect is indeed intriguing but let’s not get too distracted by it.

But it can be relevant. Where exactly was she told that divorce is absolutely forbidden?
Was the OP actually TOLD that by someone in her parish?
Or is she assuming this is so?

What does her pastor say on the matter?

 

[Bonnie]

Well in the case that the woman is abused she should seek legal and mental counseling.

Forced servitude and captivity is illegal you know.

Oh yes, I know that. But this was years ago. She’s been dead a long time. But abuse still happens & many abused spouses have a hard time leaving.

 

[Irishmom2]

I am a bit confused how a husband or wife can forbid the other from attending mass.

Do they stand in front of the door or take the car keys?

Or is it really just they are so verbally overbearing that it is easier to just give into their wishes and not go? If anything, I can see how someone would attempt to keep their children from going, but not their** adult **spouse. Nope. No one is telling me I am not allowed to go to mass.

P.S. What does Roman Catholic SSPX mean?

 

[Bonnie]

I am a bit confused how a husband or wife can forbid the other from attending mass.

Do they stand in front of the door or take the car keys?

It can be that wife thinks she has to obey her husband, no matter what. Or he has threatened her. It’s hard to know.

I remember a woman who was so cowed by her husband’s bullying that she did whatever he said. She finally did leave him, but it took a while.

 

[Irishmom2]

It can be that wife thinks she has to obey her husband, no matter what. Or he has threatened her. It’s hard to know.

I remember a woman who was so cowed by her husband’s bullying that she did whatever he said. She finally did leave him, but it took a while.

Yes, I can see how years ago, women may have felt that they had no choice. I think that thankfully most women would no longer feel that is the case anymore.

 

[Bonnie]

Yes, I can see how years ago, women may have felt that they had no choice. I think that thankfully most women would no longer feel that is the case anymore.

I’m afraid it still happens. Sad, but true. Some men have upped the ante: If you leave me I’ll kill you. Then they do it.

 

[EllaP]

He forbids her by means of being mean and treating her like garbage every time she considers going to mass. So much so that she doesn’t go because of the anger (not physical) towards her when she goes.

For example: she attends mass and for the rest of the week she is shrugged off and given the cold shoulder. So much so that the severity of her depression makes her stay in bed and comply

This marriage is not abusive otherwise.

He feels and even says that On Sunday’s his religon if football

Re: SSPX. this and even Novus Ordo are a bone of contention. He sees no difference.

Yes married in a Catholic Church before his real beliefs came into light about religon

His words: I am an atheist and I’m going to Hell and I like it.

 

[Bonnie]

Yes married in a Catholic Church before his real beliefs came into light about religon

His words: I am an atheist and I’m going to Hell and I like it.

If he felt this way before the marriage & hid it from her, I would think that would be grounds for an annulment. Tho I could be wrong - I’m not an expert.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

He forbids her by means of being mean and treating her like garbage every time she considers going to mass. So much so that she doesn’t go because of the anger (not physical) towards her when she goes.

For example: she attends mass and for the rest of the week she is shrugged off and given the cold shoulder. So much so that the severity of her depression makes her stay in bed and comply

This marriage is not abusive otherwise.

He feels and even says that On Sunday’s his religon if football

Re: SSPX. this and even Novus Ordo are a bone of contention. He sees no difference.

Yes married in a Catholic Church before his real beliefs came into light about religon

His words: I am an atheist and I’m going to Hell and I like it.

You are describing incredible abuse.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

He forbids her by means of being mean and treating her like garbage every time she considers going to mass. So much so that she doesn’t go because of the anger (not physical) towards her when she goes.

For example: she attends mass and for the rest of the week she is shrugged off and given the cold shoulder. So much so that the severity of her depression makes her stay in bed and comply.

This marriage is not abusive otherwise.

Otherwise?! This isn’t a marriage that your are describing, this is a crime scene.

 

[Katherine438]

You are describing incredible abuse.

Definitely.

 

[Katherine438]

Didn’t know what SSPX was so I looked it up … don’t understand it even after reading about it …don’t know if this is just a site against it … could be that way.

mostholyfamilymonastery.com/catholicchurch/sspx-society-st-pius-x-lefebvre/#.WAFiX_krLIU

Wikipedia to the rescue …
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Society_of_Saint_Pius_X

Pope Benedict XVI declared that for doctrinal rather than disciplinary reasons, the Society has no canonical status in the Catholic Church and because its lack of canonical status, the ministries exercised by its ministers are not legitimate within the Church.[1] However, the Society maintains that the Holy See gives some recognition to the canonical existence and ecclesial ministry of the Society’s priests.[2] Tensions between the society and the Holy See reached their height in 1988, when Archbishop Lefebvre consecrated four bishops against the orders of Pope John Paul II, resulting in a declaration of excommunication against the bishops who consecrated or were consecrated. However, the excommunication was removed in January 2009[3] with a hope expressed that all members of the society would quickly return to full communion.[4][5]

Formal discussions between the Holy See and the Society began in 2009 and reached a critical stage in 2012, when Bishop Bernard Fellay rejected the doctrinal document presented to him on 13 June, evaluating a text proposed by the society on 15 April.[6] Fellay asked Pope Benedict if that document had the Pope’s personal approval and the Pope sent him a handwritten letter assuring his direct approval.[7] On 27 June 2013, the society’s three remaining bishops (it had expelled Bishop Williamson) formally rejected the Holy See’s proposals[8] and on 12 October 2013, Bishop Fellay spoke of Pope Francis as a Modernist.[9][10]

Cardinal Gerhard Ludwig Müller, Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith and President of the Pontifical Commission Ecclesia Dei, stated on 22 December 2013 that the leaders of the Society are in schism, having departed from communion with the Church, but that the door is open for them if they change their attitude and accept the Catholic Church’s conditions and the Pope as the definitive criterion of membership.[9][11] In an interview on 12 February 2014, he added that there is no backdoor for admittance, but only the open door of acceptance of the doctrinal preamble presented to the society in 2012.[12] At present, the Society vehemently rejects any proposition that does not either clarify or ultimately reject the ambiguities of the Second Vatican Council documents. The present Superior General of the Society is Bishop Bernard Fellay.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

Didn’t know what SSPX was so I looked it up … don’t understand it even after reading about it …don’t know if this is just a site against it … could be that way.

mostholyfamilymonastery.com/catholicchurch/sspx-society-st-pius-x-lefebvre/#.WAFiX_krLIU

Let’s not turn this into an sspx thread. The situation is incredibly complicated. Let’s just say that both sides are trying to realize full communion. This thread will digress quickly if we delve into the incredibly complicated politics of the sspx, and Rome. And honestly it has nothing to do with the thread.

 

[Katherine438]

Let’s not turn this into an sspx thread. The situation is incredibly complicated. Let’s just say that both sides are trying to realize full communion. This thread will digress quickly if we delve into the incredibly complicated politics of the sspx, and Rome. And honestly it has nothing to do with the thread.

My apologies … was just trying to understand if the issue is the SSPX Church … rather than a regular Catholic Church?