Divorce-marriage

[kevin294]

hey guys just wondering your opinons on this toppic…ok here it goes…if a catholic divorces and remarries and he remarries in a registery office, and has kids when he is remarried to his new wife…is he heading for eternity in HELL. is it really really bad…i asked older people of a more wiser generation than myself and i was told hell yea they are in a bad state of adultery like constant adultery so constant mortal sin now the reason i ask is because i find these days no one really cares what you do in life…even a lot of catholics i know use the church when they need as they want…i have another question also,if you have a child in your second marriage,will a roman catholic,and i mean a good holy god fearing preist of sound catholic fate baptise your child,knowing full well that the child was from your second marriage and that you are an adulter

sorry if i offend anyone its not intended

 

[Corki]

Yes, marriage is forever. Civil divorce does not end a marriage. If you get a civil divorce and then live with another woman (even with registry paperwork) you are committing adultery.

Yes, it is really bad. No one is “condemned to Hell” but one would hope that someone in this situation would go to Confession and seek the help and advice of a priest.

As for the children of the second civil marriage, a priest might still baptize the child if he is convinced the child will be brought up Catholic but he may delay baptism until the irregular marriage situation is resolved.

 

[kevin294]

thanks for great reply corki

but, if the person went to confession and said they were sorry for being adulter…ie remarried with kids from 2nd marriage !! …he would still be an adulter …ineffect he could not stop because whats he to do walk away from his second marriage and leave kids and go back to first marriage …its enough to drive you crazy!!
should he just walk away from marriage both of them and live on his own and be celibite in some cave!!!

 

[Corki]

thanks for great reply corki

but, if the person went to confession and said they were sorry for being adulter…ie remarried with kids from 2nd marriage !! …he would still be an adulter …ineffect he could not stop because whats he to do walk away from his second marriage and leave kids and go back to first marriage …its enough to drive you crazy!!
should he just walk away from marriage both of them and live on his own and be celibite in some cave!!!

There are several ways a person in this situation can resolve his adultery but it is best for him to have a discussion with his priest. The Church would not encourage him to abandon his new “wife” and kids unless it was to reconcile with his wife.

 

[Wolniewicz]

thanks for great reply corki

but, if the person went to confession and said they were sorry for being adulter…ie remarried with kids from 2nd marriage !! …he would still be an adulter …ineffect he could not stop because whats he to do walk away from his second marriage and leave kids and go back to first marriage …its enough to drive you crazy!!
should he just walk away from marriage both of them and live on his own and be celibite in some cave!!!

If he confessed it then it would mean hes repentful and sorry. If that were the case he would listen to the priest at confession. And any good priest would tell the man that he must stop living a sexual life with his second “wife” (I hate to put it that way) until either the first one is annulled. Or just stop completely.

Forgive me if I’m wrong (i’m sure some one will let me know if I am), But he necesarily doesn’t have to leave his second wife. Just awknowledge they aren’t married, and live a celibite life, and sleep in a different room. That way the child will still have a stable living via income and have both his parents there.

If he wanted to recieve again he would have to be celibite, and not sleeping in the same room as his second “wife”.

 

[wacvet7577]

thanks for great reply corki

but, if the person went to confession and said they were sorry for being adulter…ie remarried with kids from 2nd marriage !! …he would still be an adulter …ineffect he could not stop because whats he to do walk away from his second marriage and leave kids and go back to first marriage …its enough to drive you crazy!!
should he just walk away from marriage both of them and live on his own and be celibite in some cave!!!

Wow!! I like this post!

 

[wacvet7577]

So to be a Good Catholic–I have to be celibate while my ex-husband is happy in his second marriage. See…this just doesn’t seem right. One of the Deacons at my parish talked about divorce and he said that if we are divorced we had to remain celibate because the Church does not recognize divorce. He said that someone had once asked, “But we still want to enjoy sex. What are we supposed to do?” His response was:" No one said we had to be happy. You just have to accept it." Sounds to sad and severe.

 

[113moonstar]

I UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL. MY 1ST HUSBAND DIVORCED ME TO MARRY ANOTHER LADY.
WE HAD BEEN MARRIED WITHIN THE CHURCH. HOWEVER, SOON AFTER OUR MARRIAGE I LEFT HOLY MOTHER CHURCH. LIFE WAS NOT EASY FOR A DIVORCED MOTHER OF 2. SOON I MET A GENTLEMAN WHO WAS WILLING TO TAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY AND LOVE THAT GOES WITH A WIFE AND 2 SMALL CHILDREN. WE WERE MARRIED BEFORE A JUDGE AND WE STAYED MARRIED UNTILL BOTH OF MY DAUGHTERS WERE GROWN-24 YRS. THE LAST FEW YEARS MY HUSBAND AND I LIVED AS “FRIENDS” . WE ARE NOW DIVORCED.
I WENT BACK TO CHURCH AND TALKED TO A KIND PRIEST AND EXPLAINED MY 2 MARRIAGES. HE EXPLAINED WHAT WAS NECESSARY TO REJOIN THE CHURCH.
WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED TO MY SALVATION IF I HAD DIED SUDDENLY?
YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE SOLUTION-THE REST IS UP TO YOU.
I WILL PRAY FOR YOU

 

[sallysinglemom]

HEAVEN > SEX.

Don’t blow eternity on a few seconds of earthly ecstasy. It’s hard when the world is trying to get you to worship Aphrodite, but put things in perspective. Romantic love is not all fulfilling. Only God’s love is.

 

[DominicStephen]

So to be a Good Catholic–I have to be celibate while my ex-husband is happy in his second marriage. See…this just doesn’t seem right. One of the Deacons at my parish talked about divorce and he said that if we are divorced we had to remain celibate because the Church does not recognize divorce. He said that someone had once asked, “But we still want to enjoy sex. What are we supposed to do?” His response was:" No one said we had to be happy. You just have to accept it." Sounds to sad and severe.

It is severe, one of the reasons I left the Church (17 years ago) was because of the severity of thought of a priest. I was 12 when I left, and I seriously lost my way, drink, drugs, violence, you name it and I did it ( except be promiscuous dont know why ). I married someone twice my age when I was 18 because I “thought” I loved them and them me ( oh dear, how wrong we can be!). When we split Iwas celibate for 4 years, through personal choice not religious or moral. Then I met my current partner and even though we wish to get married my wonderful ex ( he manages without a hint of sarcasm!) is making it nigh on impossible for me to divorce.

My current and myself now have 2 children (and they truely are a blessing!) At first I didnt want them baptised I wanted them to make their own choice, we were all given some level of thought shame to waste it by blindly following where others lead…but then thats where faith comes in I suppose. Anyway we approached our “new” parish priest, and this guy is epic!, about baptisting our sons, and you know what? Not a problem, he did ask if I wanted to make a confession, which, at the time I didnt, we agreed a date, said our goodbyes “see you at mass on sunday” ect. ( I hadnt been for 17 years!!) But true to my word to mass I went, and you know what? I found when I walked it was like coming home, took me awhile to build up the courage to got to confession ( even asked the apologetics advice on here) but I did it, me and my current CANT have sexual relations now because of illness on my part and I was granted absolution.

Everything happens for a reason! Am I sorry I left the church? No, and why should I be it granted me time to develope my own opinions rather than be brainwashed by dogma and doctrine. Am I sorry I married in such a manner? No, it taught me how to be a better judge of character, and now the people around me because of a mutual love and understanding, not because they have something I want, or indeed, they for me. Am I sorry for living in “sin”? NOT NOW, NOT EVER!, seriously if by granting me the family he has God hasnt only forgiven me, He has blessed me ( and that was before I walked back into church).

As if that wasnt enough, the sheer level of warmth and love I felt walking back into church was enough to prove to me that all was well between me and God.

As much as I believe in the Holy Roman Church, for me you have to forgive, and love yourself, before god will ever forgive you, confession or not. Never regret anything you do in life that has taught you a lession.

So marriage, divorce, co-habiting, or standing on your head juggling babies ( not reccommended, but if anyone manages it remember “Videos or it didnt happen!”), If you see it as wrong then so will God, God is love and if you’re in a pit of selfloathing you cant love, not fully, and so God cant love you. You accept what you are, what you where made, love yourself and those around you and God will give his love and blessings back a hundredfold.

Sorry about that load of waffle sleep depravation is a sure fire way to set me of on stuff like that, but, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!

Peace, and God bless you all, like he has me

Dominic

 

[Catholic1954]

thanks for great reply corki

but, if the person went to confession and said they were sorry for being adulter…ie remarried with kids from 2nd marriage !! …he would still be an adulter …ineffect he could not stop because whats he to do walk away from his second marriage and leave kids and go back to first marriage …its enough to drive you crazy!!
should he just walk away from marriage both of them and live on his own and be celibite in some cave!!!

This person should seek the advice of a wise and holy priest. He will be able evaluate the situation and determine if the person should persue an annulment from the first marriage and have the second marriage convalidated. The children should not be presented for baptism unless the parents (or at least one of them) fully intend to raise them in the Catholic faith.