Divorce vs Staying Together for the Kids

[FuzzyBunny116]

I’ve done a quick Google, but haven’t quite found anything that answers my question.

Is there any data arguing that staying together for the sake of the kids is better than divorce? I know divorce has horrible consequences, but I’ve haven’t been able to find any hard, statistical analysis of the consequences of staying together for the kids, even when the spouses don’t like each other.

Anyone have any information?

 

[dulcissima]

I don’t see how there could possibly be any statistics showing this, other than divorce is almost always economically very difficult.

Really there are so many different situations that can lead to divorce. Some of those don’t really have an effect on the children, so in those cases, staying together probably would benefit the kids. However there are also many problems that make the home environment very unhealthy for kids to grow up in, and in those situations divorce for the sake of the kids might be the better option.

It’s also very difficult to know if kids with divorced parents would have done better if they stayed together or vice versa. I think a crystal ball might almost be needed for that.

 

[TAS2000]

I don’t know about doing it just for the kids, but I recall reading about a study that followed people who were totally ready to get divorced but decided to stick it out and 5 years later almost all the couples that decided to stick it out rated their marrage as above average/really strong in the survey. I’ll try to see if i can find a link to that study.

 

[TAS2000]

I think this might be it:

americanvalues.org/html/r-unhappy_ii.html

 

[marci]

Unless there is abuse taking place. I think kids are almost always better off in a home with a mother and a father.

I have friends with kids who are divorced and remarried. All of the children are affected in one way or another. Some more profoundly than others. I feel so sorry for these kids.

There are statistics out there to support the importance of parents staying togeter. I heard one the other day that said kids that live in homes where there is a non-biological adult in the home are 50 times more likely to be abused. Also, another recent one stated that the divorce rate among 2nd marriages is over 80%.

I remember during our marriage preparation, we learned that adults who’s parents are still together are much more likely to stay married themselves.

I’ve been married for 11 years and believe me not all of them have been wine and roses. There were many times when I wanted to divorce my husband, but for me that would not be an option because of my faith. We stuck it out and I am thrilled we did. I can’t imagine the life I and my kids would have now had we given up and split.

Even if things wouldn’t have gotten better, I still could’nt have imagined putting my kids through that. They love both of us so much, they would have been devastated. Even if we are at times poor spouses to each other, my husband is a good father, and I hope I am a good mother. Once the kids come, it’s not about my happiness anymore.

Don’t forget, the Holy Spirit, gives us Graces through the Sacrament of Matrimony. We should do more as married couples to take advantage of these Graces.