Divorced Catholic's Role in Raising Children in the Faith

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DolcisAmici

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A Catholic parent of a “mixed” marriage divorces and leaves the home. The parent with full custody does not support the Catholic faith (nor any other Christian doctrine for that matter). However, the Catholic parent plays a very active role in the Church and in the the lives of the children.

Is the Catholic parent still obligated by the Church to raise his children in the faith despite his absence in the home and no support from his ex?
 
Generally, yes.
Specifically…if they were married in the catholic church then the vows most likely included the promise to raise the kids in the faith.

We have to raise kids in the faith regardless of the affiliation of the other parent.
 
Armor_of_Light said:
Generally, yes.
Specifically…if they were married in the catholic church then the vows most likely included the promise to raise the kids in the faith.

We have to raise kids in the faith regardless of the affiliation of the other parent.
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Well, it’s not as clear cut as that.

But if he was doing it before the divorce, he should continue after, regardless of what support he gets from the other parent. From experience let me tell you that there is nothing worse than being the godparent of a child in this kind of case. You feel your hands are tied since you don’t have the authority with the child that the custodial parent does.

From 1993’s *Directory for the Application of Principles and Norms of Ecumenism
*
  1. In carrying out this duty of transmitting the Catholic faith to the children, the Catholic parent will do so with respect for the religious freedom and conscience of the other parent and with due regard for the unity and permanence of the marriage and for the maintenance of the communion of the family. If, notwithstanding the Catholic’s best efforts, the children are not baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church, the Catholic parent does not fall subject to the censure of Canon Law.143 At the same time, his/her obligation to share the Catholic faith with the children does not cease. It continues to make its demands, which could be met, for example, by playing an active part in contributing to the Christian atmosphere of the home; doing all that is possible by word and example to enable the other members of the family to appreciate the specific values of the Catholic tradition; taking whatever steps are necessary to be well informed about hisher own faith so as to be able to explain and discuss it with them; praying with the family for the grace of Christian unity as the Lord wills it.
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There is an additional concern here that all parents, those divorced or not, can have happen when they don’t agree and that sis putting the children in the middle. This is something you really want to try to avoid and under the circumstances you have described could easily happen. Putting children in the middle of their parents can cause great consequences. And I urge you to pray hard for guidance in an effort to avoid this. I would urge you to find a way to discuss this with your children’s mother. If you are going to take over the faith portion of your children’s lives urge her to not discuss her feelings about Catholics in front of them.
 
From the CCC:

1650 Today there are numerous Catholics in many countries who have recourse to civil divorce and contract new civil unions. In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ - "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery"158 The Church maintains that a new union cannot be recognized as valid, if the first marriage was. If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God’s law. Consequently, they cannot receive Eucharistic communion as long as this situation persists. For the same reason, they cannot exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities. Reconciliation through the sacrament of Penance can be granted only to those who have repented for having violated the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, and who are committed to living in complete continence.

1651 Toward Christians who live in this situation, and who often keep the faith and desire to bring up their children in a Christian manner, priests and the whole community must manifest an attentive solicitude, so that they do not consider themselves separated from the Church, in whose life they can and must participate as baptized persons:

They should be encouraged to listen to the Word of God, to attend the Sacrifice of the Mass, to persevere in prayer, to contribute to works of charity and to community efforts for justice, to bring up their children in the Christian faith, to cultivate the spirit and practice of penance and thus implore, day by day, God’s grace.
 
DolcisAmici said:
Is the Catholic parent still obligated by the Church to raise his children in the faith despite his absence in the home and no support from his ex?
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Yes.

A Catholic parent always has the obligation to do all in their power to raise their children Catholic. It would be unfortunate if they did not secure this right in their custody agreement, but even if not they should still do all they can to ensure the religious education, mass attendance, and sacrament reception of their children.
 
mountee said:
… And I urge you to pray hard for guidance in an effort to avoid this. I would urge you to find a way to discuss this with your children’s mother. If you are going to take over the faith portion of your children’s lives urge her to not discuss her feelings about Catholics in front of them.
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Good advise! It would be very appropriate to suggest this to the right person.

The only issue I have with this response is that you made the following assumptions about me:
  1. That I have children.
  2. That I am a man.
  3. That I am divorced.
  4. That I am Catholic.
  5. That this situation is currently happening now.
Only two of them are correct and you don’t know which two. Thus, you cannot reasonably suggest to me to take your good advice.
 
DolcisAmici said:
Good advise! It would be very appropriate to suggest this to the right person.

The only issue I have with this response is that you made the following assumptions about me:
  1. That I have children.
  2. That I am a man.
  3. That I am divorced.
  4. That I am Catholic.
  5. That this situation is currently happening now.
Only two of them are correct and you don’t know which two. Thus, you cannot reasonably suggest to me to take your good advice.
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Well…

The advice given was general enough for the original circumstance you put forth, and specifically catholic. So, what more you need to know?
 
DolcisAmici said:
Good advise! It would be very appropriate to suggest this to the right person.

The only issue I have with this response is that you made the following assumptions about me:
  1. That I have children.
  2. That I am a man.
  3. That I am divorced.
  4. That I am Catholic.
  5. That this situation is currently happening now.
Only two of them are correct and you don’t know which two. Thus, you cannot reasonably suggest to me to take your good advice.
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Hmmm…I think we can make a few more assumptions about you now.
 
A Catholic parent of a “mixed” marriage divorces and leaves the home. The parent with full custody does not support the Catholic faith (nor any other Christian doctrine for that matter). However, the Catholic parent plays a very active role in the Church and in the the lives of the children.
Click to expand...
Is the Catholic parent still obligated by the Church to raise his children in the faith despite his absence in the home and no support from his ex?
Click to expand...
DA,
Please do not be upset but I do not understand why a Catholic would ask this question.

If the Catholic parent truly desires that his/her children spend eternity with our Lord in Heaven then he/she will do everything in his/her power to “raise children in the Faith.” Why would a Catholic ask if they are “obligated” to?

Doesn’t NOT doing everything in his/her power reveal something about the persons love for the Church and faith in the Church… and thereby Christ?

As faithful Catholics we know that the Catholic Church is the Ark in which we long for everyone we love to climb aboard in order to be saved from the floodwaters of this world that lead to drowning in Hell.

Bryan
LOVE SO AMAZING
 
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