Divorced Catholics

[terryteacher]

I started discussing this on “Meet and Greet” and had some private discussions. I am very pleased with the sympathetic response I have received.

In brief, I was an atheist for many years and my wife and I parted company with some acrimony - that is the short version of that story.

I was at a low ebb when my lover took me to church and I was suddenly surrounded by people shaking my hand and wishing me peace … as if they knew exactly what I needed!

I have been impressed - and I continue to be impressed - by the friendliness of the church towards me.

Unfortunately my priest told me - very politely and kindly - that my relationship with my divorced Catholic lover precludes me from becoming a Catholic.

I am not protesting this but I am very unhappy about it.

 

[puzzleannie]

I
Unfortunately my priest told me - very politely and kindly - that my relationship with my divorced Catholic lover precludes me from becoming a Catholic.

I am not protesting this but I am very unhappy about it.

yes it is a barrier, but the Church also has the remedy, that sounds like a good priest, talk to him further when you are ready. Welcome Home, no matter how long it takes to make it through the door all the way. (not everyone who comes into our home is family yet – we love visitors, too.)

the secular society will lie to you, “divorce was the best thing for all concerned, your needs are uppermost, it is time to move on, you are ready for another committed relationship”. Only in the Church will you hear the truth: divorce stinks, it hurts, everything about it hurts, everything that led up to it hurts, and it leaves everyone in need of healing. Even a secular psychologist will tell you the health of all future relationships, not just romantic but familial, will depend on healing hurt incurred in earlier ones, yet the culture has a schizoid mentality when it insists at the same time the remedy is to rush into a new relationship so that “your needs are met”. The Church is a mother, and in her wisdom, she knows the truth, and offers the healing remedies. Your Catholic friend especially is going to experience a fundamental disconnect with how he or she was raised and the current situation. That is sound psychology and also sound theology. God bless you both, you will find your way through this with His help.

 

[JRKH]

I started discussing this on “Meet and Greet” and had some private discussions. I am very pleased with the sympathetic response I have received.

In brief, I was an atheist for many years and my wife and I parted company with some acrimony - that is the short version of that story.

I was at a low ebb when my lover took me to church and I was suddenly surrounded by people shaking my hand and wishing me peace … as if they knew exactly what I needed!

I have been impressed - and I continue to be impressed - by the friendliness of the church towards me.

Unfortunately my priest told me - very politely and kindly - that my relationship with my divorced Catholic lover precludes me from becoming a Catholic.

I am not protesting this but I am very unhappy about it.

I bolded the short section in the above as these are the core issue.
It needs also to be mentioned that your “Lover” is also not living in a state of grace.

As Puzzleannie says, do not be discouraged. Make an appointment to speak with the priest again, preferably both of you, and hash out the issues and solutions.

May God continue to Guide you home

Peace
James