L
lostintexas81
Guest
Hello, I’m here looking for advice and (name removed by moderator)ut on my situation, thank you in advance!
I was married in the catholic church in 2010. My (EX) wife and I are both catholic. We had been together for many years before we finally were married. There are many reasons, mostly my immaturity and emotional unfaithfulness that kept us from getting married for so long. After a year of being married I found myself doubting our relationship, we were growing apart again, I found myself being emotionally unfaithful again. I told her what was going on in my mind and that I had lost hope for our relationship, as well as taking comfort in another woman emotionally.
She insisted that we seek counseling, I refused, i was so sure we were beyond repair. She filed the papers for our divorce, and we fell apart. She stayed in our home and I spent the next 6 weeks with a friend and with this woman I had created this emotional bond with. The relationship with her became physical. I knew this was wrong and immediately regretted what I had done. I panicked, what had I done? This is not the man I promised to be. I immediately removed myself from the situation and returned home. I confessed to my wife what I had done. She was upset to say the least. I did not stay in our home for the next 4 weeks. I got in to counseling not only in church but with a private counselor as well. I went to confession, which I hadn’t been to in years and confessed my sins.
Over the next few months we both worked hard on restoring our marriage. We had small successes, and setbacks. We were attending church, which we had not done on a regular basis before. Things got to a point where one of us was focused and the other had lost hope, then the roles would reverse. We were both mentally exhausted. One morning we both went to the local courthouse together and finalized the paperwork. It was the saddest day in my life.
She moved out of our home, and we put it up for sale. The home sold six months later. It has been a little over a year since our divorce. We still are in regular contact, its awkward and frustrating but its contact none the less. We both have dated others some, and for me at least its not where I want to be.
Now for my dilemma, and questions.
In the time since I returned home to try and work things out, I have been on a journey to restore my relationship with God, as well as a presence in the church. This journey has been slow but in the last 5 months i feel like it has really taken off. I am attending mass every week, I took part in the catholic men’s conference, I’m attending confession as needed. I praying daily and doing good works where and when I see the opportunity. I’m actively looking for a catholic based men’s group as well.
We investigated the process shortly after the divorce for an annulment. I was reluctant to do so, however I felt I wasn’t entitled to deny her that. I know she received the paperwork but don’t think the process is any further along then it was a year ago.
So what do I do now? I want more than anything to restore my relationship with her. We are both different people because of this situation, we have forgiven each other, and still love one another. Ive all but told her I want to restore “us” , but I know she already knows this. I’m looking for advice, what are my responsibilities in this situation? How should I be praying? What questions am I not asking myself? Advice? (name removed by moderator)ut?
I was married in the catholic church in 2010. My (EX) wife and I are both catholic. We had been together for many years before we finally were married. There are many reasons, mostly my immaturity and emotional unfaithfulness that kept us from getting married for so long. After a year of being married I found myself doubting our relationship, we were growing apart again, I found myself being emotionally unfaithful again. I told her what was going on in my mind and that I had lost hope for our relationship, as well as taking comfort in another woman emotionally.
She insisted that we seek counseling, I refused, i was so sure we were beyond repair. She filed the papers for our divorce, and we fell apart. She stayed in our home and I spent the next 6 weeks with a friend and with this woman I had created this emotional bond with. The relationship with her became physical. I knew this was wrong and immediately regretted what I had done. I panicked, what had I done? This is not the man I promised to be. I immediately removed myself from the situation and returned home. I confessed to my wife what I had done. She was upset to say the least. I did not stay in our home for the next 4 weeks. I got in to counseling not only in church but with a private counselor as well. I went to confession, which I hadn’t been to in years and confessed my sins.
Over the next few months we both worked hard on restoring our marriage. We had small successes, and setbacks. We were attending church, which we had not done on a regular basis before. Things got to a point where one of us was focused and the other had lost hope, then the roles would reverse. We were both mentally exhausted. One morning we both went to the local courthouse together and finalized the paperwork. It was the saddest day in my life.
She moved out of our home, and we put it up for sale. The home sold six months later. It has been a little over a year since our divorce. We still are in regular contact, its awkward and frustrating but its contact none the less. We both have dated others some, and for me at least its not where I want to be.
Now for my dilemma, and questions.
In the time since I returned home to try and work things out, I have been on a journey to restore my relationship with God, as well as a presence in the church. This journey has been slow but in the last 5 months i feel like it has really taken off. I am attending mass every week, I took part in the catholic men’s conference, I’m attending confession as needed. I praying daily and doing good works where and when I see the opportunity. I’m actively looking for a catholic based men’s group as well.
We investigated the process shortly after the divorce for an annulment. I was reluctant to do so, however I felt I wasn’t entitled to deny her that. I know she received the paperwork but don’t think the process is any further along then it was a year ago.
So what do I do now? I want more than anything to restore my relationship with her. We are both different people because of this situation, we have forgiven each other, and still love one another. Ive all but told her I want to restore “us” , but I know she already knows this. I’m looking for advice, what are my responsibilities in this situation? How should I be praying? What questions am I not asking myself? Advice? (name removed by moderator)ut?
, as he is the bond between the Father and Son. You may also want to consider invoking Him, especially starting today 5/10, which marks the beginning of the ancient novena to the Holy Spirit before Pentecost.