Divorced wife remarried in the Church

[HoraceX]

My wife and I were married many years ago. At the time I wasn’t attending church and she was an atheist, but we were married in the RC church to make my family happy.

The marriage was no sacrament and unsurprisingly we divorced. Even though there were no children, it became ugly.

Two years ago I began the annulment process. She was contacted and opposed the annulment, I’m assuming purely out of spite. Frustrated, and not wanting to fight her again, I didn’t see the process through even though I wanted to be married in the church.

Yesterday, I googled her name. The first result was a church bulletin from Easter welcoming her, her husband and child to the parish.

Any suggestions on what I should do? I must admit that my first impulse was to send a letter to the parish priest with a copy of our marriage license and ask that she be excommunicated and kicked out of the parish. Then, I thought that if she has been called to the church, I should just keep my mouth shut. However, by opposing the annulment she has denied me the opportunity to have a sacramental marriage in the church - even though she feels entitled to claim that for herself.

Help

 

[Rence]

If I were you, I’d see the process of annulment through. It’s her right to oppose the annulment, after which, the diocese will investigate her side. I would show any documentation of a new marriage to the diocese, so that they see that her testimony was false. Obviously she wasn’t serious when she opposed the annulment because she has remarried. They will take this into consideration when they investigate her side of the testimony. You’re not giving them a chance to do their job by giving up and throwing the towel in because you don’t want to fight her. And you don’t have to fight her. Let them do their job.

With regards to your wife re-entering the Church…I doubt this is the case, simply by the fact that she is remarried. And if she think she has re-discovered the Church, she needs to know the truth of her actions and be accountable for them. In any event, you are not responsible for any outcome that results from that. She is. I wouldn’t send a copy of all that to her new paster. Just send it to the diocese as part of your annullment paperwork.

 

[turtle18]

I am not clear on your wife’s status. She was an atheist when she married you-does that mean she had never been baptized? Or was she baptized and then later developed her atheistic views? If she was unbaptized, did you receive a dispensation from the Bishop to marry her in the Catholic church?

 

[Rudolfo]

So her current marriage is invalid? She either deceptively married in the Church, or married outside the church. Going back to your marriage, she was an atheist and you did not practice your faith. This annulment should be a piece of cake. Focus on your needs and your future, you might need this annulment someday and it’s much better to have it all finished than desperately want it. I hope you’re in the same diocese, it might be easier, but even if not, you deserve to have a clean slate, especially considering your wife seems to be committing adultery. Pursue the annulment and get free of this woman.

 

[dailey]

If I were you, I’d see the process of annulment through. It’s her right to oppose the annulment, after which, the diocese will investigate her side. I would show any documentation of a new marriage to the diocese, so that they see that her testimony was false. Obviously she wasn’t serious when she opposed the annulment because she has remarried. They will take this into consideration when they investigate her side of the testimony. You’re not giving them a chance to do their job by giving up and throwing the towel in because you don’t want to fight her. And you don’t have to fight her. Let them do their job.

With regards to your wife re-entering the Church…I doubt this is the case, simply by the fact that she is remarried. And if she think she has re-discovered the Church, she needs to know the truth of her actions and be accountable for them. In any event, you are not responsible for any outcome that results from that. She is. I wouldn’t send a copy of all that to her new paster. Just send it to the diocese as part of your annullment paperwork.

good advice…

 

[joanofarc2008]

Just because she is being welcomed to the Church with her husband does not mean she and her husband are within a Sacramental marriage and that they have not presented this issue to the priest already. For all you know they could be living as Brother and Sister and in this case she could choose to reopen the decree of nullity proceeding as well. I am just saying that a Church bulletin welcoming a family does not a Church wedding make. A Church bulletin is not going to air someone’s dirty laundry. You may wish to contact the parish nicely and ask that the RCIA team with the priest please go over the teaching on divorce and remarriage with your xw as this is the most charitable thing to do and reopen your own case.

I do not know why you chose not to proceed with your case anyway. You did not need her assent to proceed back then?

 

[promethius]

Just because she is being welcomed to the Church with her husband does not mean she and her husband are within a Sacramental marriage and that they have not presented this issue to the priest already. For all you know they could be living as Brother and Sister and in this case she could choose to reopen the decree of nullity proceeding as well. I am just saying that a Church bulletin welcoming a family does not a Church wedding make. A Church bulletin is not going to air someone’s dirty laundry. You may wish to contact the parish nicely and ask that the RCIA team with the priest please go over the teaching on divorce and remarriage with your xw as this is the most charitable thing to do and reopen your own case.

I do not know why you chose not to proceed with your case anyway. You did not need her assent to proceed back then?

This is the best advice possible. Either go through the priest to have him talk with her while reopening your annulment case, or contact her directly and mutually reopen the case (if she has returned to the church in truth and fully submits to her teaching, then she should want a declaration of nullity at this point as well).

The church does not excommunicate people for this type of thing, so baring your teeth and trying to punish her for her actions will do nothing than show poorly in your favor at this point. Christ Himself gave the best advice in that regard: forgive.