Do American catholics just simply give up on gay friends?

[eddie_too]

Heathcliff,

it is best to distinguish between people who try to live chastely despite their same-sex attractions; and, people who publicly proclaim that their same-sex attraction should be acted out.

I have no problems with those who despite their same-sex attractions try to live a chaste, catholic life.

I think I would have problems being a friend to a person determined to publicly assert there is nothing immoral about human sexual activity that occurs outside of a permanent and exclusive relationship between one man and one woman. that is not to say I would be uncharitable to such people. I would do my best to accord them the same respect and love I offer to others. however, friendship implies a relationship of regular interaction with another. friendship involves far more than sexuality. it often involves common interests or a similar sense of humor or enjoyment of another’s company.

so, I am guessing that I will never be friends with, I will typically be friendly to, a person who publicly opposes the RCC’s teachings on human sexuality.

 

[SecretGarden]

God calls us to love our neighbour which means we don’t give up on our gay friends but we try to love them. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they do because regardless of a person’s sexual orientation, that is impossible. All you can do is encourage them to live an active productive life and be there for them. This means if they decide to get married, yes you go to their wedding. If they decide to adopt a child, yes you support them because they are your brothers and sisters and they need all the love they can get. You can even offer to be a godparent towards that child.

Tragically in general Christians have cast them off as if they are worth nothing. I know some wonderful gay people who are the sweetest and kindest people in the world. They deserve to be loved and not judged.

You don’t have to agree with their lifestyle choice but you can be there and support them. You can also invite them to church and some of your church’s events. Remember Christ came down on earth for all of the sinners which includes not just them but everyone.

In church on Sunday, the pastor said if you are going to judge, judge first yourself. After all there are plenty of people in this world who need God. Therefore let’s embrace all of our brothers and sisters.

 

[kozlosap]

In American culture, “gay” can mean different things to different people. To some, saying you’re “gay” is like saying “I’m in sexually active relationships with men.” To others, it merely means you like men and not women. Depending on how a friend understands “gayness” dictates how they will react.

I would never abandon a friend, however I have had to stop friendships because my friend was doing something harmful to themselves without wanting to stop, and since they weren’t reachable, I had to cut them off, so they did not drag me down with them. I am speaking about friends who abuse drugs and alcohol, are promiscuous, etc.

As a Catholic with same sex attraction, it’s your vocation to be celibate, if you want to remain in communion with the Church and such. If you tell people you’re “gay”, you might have to explain to them that you are not in active relationships and that you are celibate for your faith.

I keep my sexual preferences to myself, to avoid this type of thing. As much as our culture may tell you otherwise, it’s okay to keep personal information (like the gender you want to have sex with) to yourself.

So the next time I meet a new person I will tell them that I’m straight, single and not sexually active? That should really set people to think I’ve lost my marbles. It is no one’s business who is sexually active or who isn’t unless you are entering a romantic relationship with that specific person.

 

[Praedicare]

wilson124, I am gay and celibate. I have never once come across any fellow Catholics who showed even the slightest hint of wanting to abandon me because of that. To be honest, Catholics have been almost unreasonably loving and accepting of me. The secular people I knew when I was still an atheist were usually uncomfortable about it.

I must admit that the way you revealed your attractions was not very prudent. Your friend’s roommate wasn’t talking to you much, so you just said you are gay? Were you hoping to catch his attention so he’d talk to you again? There was no reason to come out to him like that. It probably just made him feel very awkward, and then leave you altogether.

Catholics are probably the most loving Christians when it comes to gays… I don’t know… that’s my experience.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

wilson124, I am gay and celibate. I have never once come across any fellow Catholics who showed even the slightest hint of wanting to abandon me because of that. To be honest, Catholics have been almost unreasonably loving and accepting of me. The secular people I knew when I was still an atheist were usually uncomfortable about it.

I must admit that the way you revealed your attractions was not very prudent. Your friend’s roommate wasn’t talking to you much, so you just said you are gay? Were you hoping to catch his attention so he’d talk to you again? There was no reason to come out to him like that. It probably just made him feel very awkward, and then leave you altogether.

Catholics are probably the most loving Christians when it comes to gays… I don’t know… that’s my experience.

Absolutely! And I do believe that a large part of the “gay community” would be more hostile to a Gay person living celebrate for religious reasons than a Catholic would be to a practicing homosexual…

SO I ask: Why do Homosexual Polish people give up on their Catholic friends?

 

[808Catholic]

I don’t ask my friends if they are homosexual or heterosexual. We’re all God’s children and I try to treat them all the same.

 

[Catholic_farmer]

I had many friends in college that I was friends with because we were in the same classes together and then we just drifted apart when we didn’t share the same classes. College students are testing the waters and can be quite flaky friends. There is a significant number of college kids that still lack maturity.

It sounds like you were attending mass more regularly and I suspect that as a reason why they pushed you away. Unless, of course, you know specifically that they pushed you away because you’re gay. It’s hard not to assume that, but try to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Look for new friends. Get involved in your parish. I’m sorry you’re hurting now over this friendship.

(formerly known as “lutheran farmer”)