I can not speak for anyone but for myself. If I have barrier to the power of faith, I must have been born with it. I have given God the trial period about the very same time of my first posting here and the many Masses and deep introspection of claims. I do have a very excellent priest who is a helping hand during this time.
He has not come out and said outright that there is no chance after this time. He has been so patient and asks forward questions.
Last week, I felt a sense that he is starting to worry about me in a way I never felt before.
He is worrying that I am not taking enough of a step back from thinking this out.
In other words, I need to take time to stop and just let myself relax and not consider these things for a time.
As much as I love him, and I do- I can not stop. He does not understand that part. Why would he? He does not have to.
I respect questions like this, because they ask things I ask myself more often than many may realize. These things, make me wonder why I care so much as it is inconvient to do so.
But, I don’t think I can just shove this under the carpet. I am willing to go the full distance, and right now I am wondering what that entails.