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BlestOne
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This is perhaps the funniest thing I have ever read on these forums… because I am in the age group mentioned and a newlywed… and only 3 yrs into the honeymoon…baahh haaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! You are so wrong!!!
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OutinChgoburbs
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And he knows nothing of pre-Cana in the 1970s, either…
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estesbob
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Yeah-we had a tape in our Pre -Canna class telling us that simultaneous orgasm did not have to be a goal when having sex. This was in the early 70s.
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puzzleannie
Guest
I don’t even want to speculate on how you know this is true.
as one old fogey to the rest of the world, here is a newsflash “I read somewhere” or “I heard somewhere” is NOT a reliable guide to Catholic teaching and practice. Yeah I remember the sexual revolution (which actually started when was a toddler if you really study the social history of the 20th c–my MA is in history BTW) but married young so had no chance to enjoy a lot of it. Our marriage prep was done by an ancient Jesuit priest who quoted a Jewish rabbi friend of his and told us that a husbands first duty is to ensure his wife’s pleasure and satisfaction, not his own.
When they were handing out guilt we thought they said quilt so we cuddled up under one.
I guess Hollywood didn’t get that memo… if you can stand to watch any movie “love” scenes from the last twenty years, you find yourself wondering what YOU’RE doing wrong because you’re sure not getting THAT effect!
Maybe that’s what’s causing the guilt–“I must be doing something wrong! It wasn’t ANYthing like ‘The Notebook’!”
Nah… let’s just blame the Church. So much easier.
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estesbob
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aimee
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Mirdath
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An astonishing number of the threads in Moral Theology seem to be on variations of that topic – is it sinful to start things with a little fellatio or cunnilingus? What about manual stimulation? Is premature ejaculation abhorrent in the eyes of God? Are sex toys (erm, ‘marital aids’) alright by Rome? If the husband comes before the wife, is it wickedness to ‘keep going’ by other means so she can climax as well? Can I licitly have sex with my husband after I caught him wanking in the shower? Am I committing a mortal sin of lust if I think of my spouse as sexy? Every one of those has been an honest question in that forum at least once (most of them several times), and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I kid you not, I have seen at least one thread asking if it’s sinful for a man to try a variant on Kegels to achieve multiple orgasms! What’s next, some poor scrupulous soul wanting to know if using the Kama Sutra to spice things up a bit in the marriage bed is tantamount to idolatry? Knowing how a lot of people here feel about plain ol’ yoga, I wouldn’t be one bit surprised to see that.
I may say things with tongue firmly in cheek a lot, and poke fun here and there, but honestly, I really do feel bad for those people whose scruples get in the way of getting it on. There’re right ways to have sex, and there’re wrong ways, and I know for a fact my idea of which is which isn’t exactly how the Church sees it; but I have a great deal of respect for those who attempt, however imperfectly, to subordinate their lives and sexual desires to a stricter standard out of faith, hope, and love (even if I don’t agree with them on the reasons for it). And it really, truly hurts me to see so many of them so afraid of sexuality. All too many people see it as a minefield, when they should be rejoicing in it. Becoming one flesh is the highest expression of romantic love (when done right – I think you and I can both agree that’s how it should be done, even if we may differ on some of the particulars). It is a joy, a delight, a gift – whether a gift between lovers, a gift from God to humans, or even just plain fun. It is not a fraying tightrope over the Grand Canyon, and it is a sadness and a shame that that’s how many people have been taught to see it.
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James_Miller
Guest
Come to think of it I am of a certain age too. In fact I have never met anybody who was not of a certain age.
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Carjack1
Guest
I have to be honest and say that I do have a lot of questions on some of these things? Just because I am learning more about the faith 
To the OP Catholics are people too.
To the OP Catholics are people too.
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Steeltemplar
Guest
Mirdath, having sexual morals and wanting to follow what the Church teaches does not mean that one is wrought with guilt over sex. When I look at your posts, I do not see any kind of real knowledge of Catholics - instead I see a whole lot of anti-Catholic bigotry.
In fact, I would wonder what business it is of yours to even post in this thread. You are not Catholic. So how would you really know what Catholics feel about their marital relations?
All you have is your clearly bigoted speculations.
In fact, I would wonder what business it is of yours to even post in this thread. You are not Catholic. So how would you really know what Catholics feel about their marital relations?
All you have is your clearly bigoted speculations.
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sanctamaria17
Guest
To answer some of these questions, yes, oral sex is OK as long as it is foreplay and the man climaxes inside his wife. It’s OK and absolutely unselfish for a man to “keep going” to help his wife achieve climax. If a man accidentally climaxes early, there’s no sin. If you think of your spouse as “sexy”, nothing wrong with it. I don’t know about the other ones.I have to be honest and say that I do have a lot of questions on some of these things? Just because I am learning more about the faith
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Arnobius
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So cutting through the snide comments, what it boils down to is people who may not know the Church teaching on sexual morality, but want to know have questions. You, who apparently believe anything goes, deride this as a sort of slave mentality. Different questions by different individuals does not mean all Catholics with such questions have an unhealthy obsession or view it as a minefield. It means given the unhealthy obsession the world has with mindless gratification, some people are asking “How do I make my marital life holy”
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Carjack1
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You must be a mind reader, lol. You have answered all of my questions. Thank You so much. I would have been mortified to ask a priest this. I am so horribly shy.
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Harmony1988
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Cmon guys, even though this sounds really funny to us, it gives an idea that there are people who are misinformed about the catholic position of sex, therefore it should not be a time to be dishing out harsh criticism, but to kindly inform him.
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Mirdath
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No, it doesn’t. That seems to be an all-too-common side effect.
Not looking very hard, are we?
A question was asked, I knew the answer, so I answered it. I haven’t been agnostic all my life; I was raised just barely on this side of sedevacantism. I’m hardly ignorant of Catholic teaching.
What snide comments? I presented a sample of common and not-so-common questions over in Moral Theology as evidence supporting my earlier statement that many Catholics worry entirely too much about this stuff and expressed sympathy for those so burdened by scruples that the highest expression of love becomes a trap. What was snide about that?
Actually, it seems to be more ‘how can I boink my spouse without going to hell?’. How many of these threads have you seen? So many people are terrified of sexuality, when they absolutely shouldn’t be.
Also, Carjack, the answer is pretty much ‘you can swing from the chandeliers if you like as long as you finish inside your wife’
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Carjack1
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Also, Carjack, the answer is pretty much ‘you can swing from the chandeliers if you like as long as you finish inside your wife’
Well I am a female but I know what you mean
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estesbob
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I havent seen many such threads at all. What I do see is a lot of threads where Catholics have sincere questions on the Church;s teachings on sex and instead get derided and mocked .
And the kind of rampant , promiscous sexualtiy we see prevalent in our culture today is something we should all fear.
UH-I think we need to define what “inside” means…Also, Carjack, the answer is pretty much ‘you can swing from the chandeliers if you like as long as you finish inside your wife’
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Mirdath
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Sorry – guess who tends to usually ask these questions! 
It comes in cycles. That quote is over a month old, and I recall there being a spate of them around then. Usually in Moral Theology – I’ll just go in and see a page full of almost nothing but masturbation sometimes :hypno:
Whoops, my omissionUH-I think we need to define what “inside” means…
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BostonMyrtleBea
Guest
No way… HECK NO! It’s a great gift and anyone who feels guilty having sex with their hubby/wife in a good relationship probably needs to readjust their thinking or get some help.
I can’t say your questions is stupid, though! My newphew just told me that my MOTHER told him that she always though sex was a sin - even AFTER marriage! It makes sense, though, because she’s always felt it was a dirty thing and we’ve always wondered how she could possibly have six children. I think she was just doing what she was “supposed” to as a married Catholic. I hate to say it, but that’s a sick way to look at it.
Premarital sex - guilt (among other things).
Marital sex - guilt free!
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