Do Catholics believe that men are the head of the household

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Blessings,
It is scriptural. That’s it but it doesn’t mean you are his slave. You have a strong voice in marriage. Together decisions are made. If there is a disagreement in a decision, w research,etc, the husband makes the call. If he was right! HooRay! If he was wrong! We can’t belittle him. That shows disrespect. If he’s forgiving, maybe one,” I TOLD YOU SO!” HMMM …
Never a doorstep. It’s just a Balance.
In Christ’s Love
Tweedlealice

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.

– St. Teresa of Avila
 
Eph. 5:22-24 – “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of his wife, as Christ is the head of the church, His Body, and is himself its savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.”

From Mathew Henry’s commentary:

The duty prescribed to wives is submission to their husbands in the Lord (v. 22), which submission includes the honouring and obeying of them, and that from a principle of love to them. They must do this in compliance with God’s authority, who has commanded it, which is doing it as unto the Lord; or it may be understood by way of similitude and likeness, so that the sense may be, "as, being devoted to God, you submit yourselves unto him.’’ From the former sense we may learn that by a conscientious discharge of the duties we owe to our fellow-creatures we obey and please God himself; and, from the latter, that God not only requires and insists on those duties which immediately respect himself, but such as respect our neighbours too. The apostle assigns the reason of this submission from wives: For the husband is the head of the wife, v. 23. The metaphor is taken from the head in the natural body, which, being the seat of reason, of wisdom, and of knowledge, and the fountain of sense and motion, is more excellent than the rest of the body. God has given the man the pre-eminence and a right to direct and govern by creation, and in that original law of the relation, Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Whatever there is of uneasiness in this, it is an effect of sin coming into the world. Generally, too, the man has (what he ought to have) a superiority in wisdom and knowledge. He is therefore the head, even as Christ is the head of the church. There is a resemblance of Christ’s authority over the church in that superiority and headship which God has appointed to the husband. The apostle adds, and he is the Saviour of the body. Christ’s authority is exercised over the church for the saving of her from evil, and the supplying of her with every thing good for her. In like manner should the husband be employed for the protection and comfort of his spouse; and therefore she should the more cheerfully submit herself unto him. So it follows, Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ (v. 24), with cheerfulness, with fidelity, with humility, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing —in every thing to which their authority justly extends itself, in every thing lawful and consistent with duty to God.
 
StRaphaelPray4Us said:
Exactly.
Here are the definitions of subservient found in a quick google search:
prepared to obey others unquestioningly
less important; subordinate
serving as a means to an end"Not good term to use when describing a healthy and Godly relationship of a wife to her husband
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That’s what I would think.
According to my view,a marriage should be of two equals,together sharing decision making, and trying to live in harmony.

What confused me though,is Im not sure if all Catholics see a husband/wife’s role this way as for example,there’s another topic/thread about a wife anxious about her over bearing mother in law where she (the wife) states that her husband allowed his MIL to decorate their nursery and choose their wedding cake,that her husband just decided on his own (without consulting her) and announced to her that after their baby is born that she will go work part time and his mother will look after the baby and so on…
The wife states that she "works hard to be a submissive wife & try to just not ruffle any feathers…"

To me isn’t that that “version” of submission a bit just like being bossed around or something?😯
 
BoyGenius said:
guy comes home. Suddenly he can hear his door being picked. He carefully and cautiously goes over,…
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These days I don’t always feel so confident that a man will try to do anything if something happens (eg:if someone tries to attack you in a public place).
Thankfully there are still some men like that,but I also feel there a lot too now that are like “each person for themselves” mentality.
BoyGenius said:
Men when away from home, have a harder time than woman.
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What do you mean by harder time?More tempted to cheat on wife?
 
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Reuben_J said:
Generally, too, the man has (what he ought to have) a superiority in wisdom and knowledge
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Objectively though,do men these day really have a superiority in wisdom and knowledge?
This would seem to have been more fitting in Mathew Henry’s time in the Middle Ages when many women were illiterate etc.
 
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Rozellelily said:
What do you mean by harder time?More tempted to cheat on wife?
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I am not an expert, but I believe that men are more likely to cheat on their spouses than women. And when men are away from home for a long period of time, they’re likely to do something wrong. Not all men. But I believe they are more tempted.

Men ought to be home as much as possible being the Head of their household, to keep them on the straight and narrow path. The problem is, society has turned this into an equal rights/opportunity battle. A battle of the sexes. Woman need to play an important role as men in the home. Thus, do they want to be in charge. Which doesn’t mean a woman cannot be in charge. But we forget, we are in a bruised, fallen, and broken world. When a man can take the wheel of the ship, and make those choices/decisions, but with his wife’s (name removed by moderator)ut no less, as he is to listen to her as Saint Paul reiterated as Christ listened to the Church, and the Church listened to him.

There has never been a weaker or lesser sex. It’s s foolish belief people developed. The man has a temptation to do things while away from his wife and children. And it comes with great distress when he cheats on his wife, or whatever sexual encounter he falls into. Or maybe even drugs.
 
Call me old fashion, but I aspire by the love and victory along the lines of Knight saving a Princess, and slaying Dragons.
 
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This is the biblical principle in which we believe that God will bless the couple. Besides this is pertaining to spiritual matter.

Little example like wife wants to skip mass to see the mother. Husband wisdom would be not to skip mass but make another day to visit mother.

The idea is, when the Bible principle is followed, the fulness of love in the marriage relationship will bring blessing from God.

Blessing comes in many forms - like how your income, no matter how small, can come a long way to provide for the home. Some people get sick or have accident in the wrong times, and money goes to waste unnecessarily.

God bless.
 
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Obeying the husband does not mean that the wife’s idea is not followed. Many times the wife has better ideas or she may be expert in some field due to her talent and education. A wise husband will make use of this expertiae for the good of the family.

The idea is to trust God and trust that His way is right.

That there is order in the Christian family.

God bless.
 
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As people who are very much influenced by modern secular value we are afraid of the word ‘submit’ or ‘obey’.

Actually, if we understand the Christian teaching on wife/husband role, (wife submits to husband; husband loves wife as Jesus loves the Church), the word ‘submit/obey’ is nearly the same as the word ‘love’.

Christian love as in 1 Cor 13, and how Jesus applies it, by giving his life to the Church that he loves.

When you (husband) loves someone, he would put his wife happiness first rather than his own, he cherishes her and guards her from harm (evil/sin); and the wife in turn, submits to his headship cheerfully, joyfully and lovingly, as how the Church (you) loves God.

God bless.
 
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Reuben_J said:
Little example like wife wants to skip mass to see the mother. Husband wisdom would be not to skip mass but make another day to visit mother.
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What about if the husband wants to skip Mass to see his mother?
 
Xantippe said:
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Reuben_J:
Little example like wife wants to skip mass to see the mother. Husband wisdom would be not to skip mass but make another day to visit mother.
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What about if the husband wants to skip Mass to see his mother?
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Good question,

Another question, what about if the husband asks the wife to steal (for example)?

… The obedience of the wife in matter of spiritual is in so far when it is right and good, not of thing that is sinful and evil, as Jesus is the head of the Church teaching and making it holy. Remembering that the husband would present her as holy and unblemished as if washed by the word.

Gid bless.
 
In my opinion, if you are in a marriage that needs a “head of household” then you are in an unhealthy relationship.
 
"26. Domestic society being confirmed, therefore, by this bond of love, there should flourish in it that “order of love,” as St. Augustine calls it. This order includes both the primacy of the husband with regard to the wife and children, the ready subjection of the wife and her willing obedience, which the Apostle commends in these words: “Let women be subject to their husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ is the head of the Church.”
  1. This subjection, however, does not deny or take away the liberty which fully belongs to the woman both in view of her dignity as a human person, and in view of her most noble office as wife and mother and companion; nor does it bid her obey her husband’s every request if not in harmony with right reason or with the dignity due to wife; nor, in fine, does it imply that the wife should be put on a level with those persons who in law are called minors, to whom it is not customary to allow free exercise of their rights on account of their lack of mature judgment, or of their ignorance of human affairs. But it forbids that exaggerated liberty which cares not for the good of the family; it forbids that in this body which is the family, the heart be separated from the head to the great detriment of the whole body and the proximate danger of ruin. For if the man is the head, the woman is the heart, and as he occupies the chief place in ruling, so she may and ought to claim for herself the chief place in love.
  2. Again, this subjection of wife to husband in its degree and manner may vary according to the different conditions of persons, place and time. In fact, if the husband neglect his duty, it falls to the wife to take his place in directing the family. But the structure of the family and its fundamental law, established and confirmed by God, must always and everywhere be maintained intact." - Casti Connubii
 
"Duties Of A Husband
It is the duty of the husband to treat his wife generously and honourably. It should not be forgotten that Eve was called by Adam his companion. The woman, he says, whom thou gavest me as a companion. Hence it was, according to the opinion of some of the holy Fathers, that she was formed not from the feet but from the side of man; as, on the other hand, she was not formed from his head, in order to give her to understand that it was not hers to command but to obey her husband.

The husband should also be constantly occupied in some honest pursuit with a view to provide necessaries for the support of his family and to avoid idleness, the root of almost every vice.

He is also to keep all his family in order, to correct their morals, and see that they faithfully discharge their duties.

Duties Of A Wife
On the other hand, the duties of a wife are thus summed up by the Prince of the Apostles: Let wives be subject to their husbands. that if any believe not the word, they may be won without the word by the conversation of the wives, considering your chaste conversation with fear. Let not their adorning be the outward plaiting of the hair, or the wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel: but the hidden man of the heart in the incorruptibility of a quiet and meek spirit, which is rich in the sight of God. For after this manner heretofore the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling hint lord.

To train their children in the practice of virtue and to pay particular attention to their domestic concerns should also be especial objects of their attention. The wife should love to remain at home, unless compelled by necessity to go out; and she should never presume to leave home without her husband’s consent.

Again, and in this the conjugal union chiefly consists, let wives never forget that next to God they are to love their husbands, to esteem them above all others, yielding to them in all things not inconsistent with Christian piety, a willing and ready obedience." - Catechism of the Council of Trent
 
Why are men the head of the household?

In Genesis, wherefore after God completed in making man (i.e. Adam and Eve) on day Seven, He rested (God became with man - God with us - Immanuel.) In the freewill God gave both Adam and Eve, He forbade Adam (thus Adam’s responsibility to tell Eve) not to eat of the Tree of Knowledge (of good and evil.) Adam was therefore not just a steward of the Garden and that God has given him. He was then seen not totally completed (i.e. not in self giving charity as the Holy Trinity is.) Therefore He created Eve from Adam’s rib (the same God Who brought about the birth of the Child from Mary’s womb, by the overshadowing of the Holy Spirit. Adam gave his rib that God made Eve; Mary offered her body - temple - for birth of Christ.) Adam was the steward of Eve. He was to safeguard and protect her from that error: sin - from eating the tree of knowledge. For that tree was knowledge of good and evil (outside the relationship of God’s Covenant love - death.) The devil tempted Eve. She then after fallen into temptation, drew Adam to the same fall.

Why, if Eve committed the initial temptation of Adam? Or let alone, why did not God just go to the devil first? But, instead, He went to Adam. Why? Because, Adam was responsible for Eve. To take care she did not fall into sin. Sin was there, in the presence of the Garden - in the tree of knowledge. The state of sin was not. Just the potentiality that it could exist in the world. Adam did not take care to see she did not fall into sin; into temptation. His back was turned to her. Almost un-noticed. She tried to fight off the devil’s temptations, as she related what God told them. But, it wasn’t a match to the devil who broke every strain of reason and thought be provided to her.

Adam failed. And thus God looked at him as the head of his household - the head and steward keeper of the Garden. To take care of all that He had given Adam. Including, but more so essential, the woman. He put enmity between her seed, and the devil’s. God never said Adam’s. Man is the head of the houshold, but he is not to abuse it. Placing a wife into servitude, or children in that manner is a failure as Adam did when the devil tested him through Eve, in the Garden. God held Adam responsible for the fall. For did not Adam’s son Cain express that failure when he asked God, upon Abel’s blood crying out, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

Men are responsible to take care, being the head of household, because God granted and afforded everything to him. And yet, he abuses it. Hence, why God went to Adam first, and then Eve.Consider the broken union? Adam told God that the “woman you made” tempted me. Adam doesn’t say flesh of my flesh, bone of my bones (my wife.) Rather like a master disappointed with a slave or servant. Eve was a disappointing object to him. And blamed God for that. Thus to relinquishing his responsibility before God, the head of a household (i.e. a husband - a family.)
 
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Rozellelily said:
Can you please elaborate on this?
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I have been happily married for over 30 years to the same person. We raised a beautiful family together. Not once during that entire time did we feel the need for one person to be “head of household” in any way. We are a partnership. We make weighty decisions together. We compromise with eachother when we don’t agree. I feel having one person designated as “head of household” is really dangerous. It leaves everyone else in the position of not having to accept responsibility for decisions as they are being made, or accountable for consequences once they have been made. It can stifle personal growth for those who don’t have to learn more about themselves by making decisions and choices for themselves and their kids. I have seen this many times in families where the wife defers to the husband whenever they don’t agree on decisions to be made or lifestyle choices. Healthy partnerships are about compromise. Disclaimer: I am agnostic so I don’t really incorporate any religious teachings into my approach on this subject.
 
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If somebody gave us a form and we needed to fill in a name of someone from my family to be “Head of Household”, we’d put my husband’s name.

Other than that, I can’t say the topic has come up in the almost 25 years we’ve been married. Seems rather irrelevant unless the two people involved are really “into” having someone be “the head” and make the decisions for the family. We tend to make any necessary decisions jointly and if one person is being affected more than the other one, then maybe the affected person gets more say because it’s their job that they will have to work if they accept it, or their car that they will have to drive every day, etc.

I don’t remember my parents ever having discussions or references to “head of household” stuff either, except like I said if they had to fill it out on a survey or a census, Dad’s name would have been listed. In practice I never saw either one of my parents actually exerting authority over the other one. I’ve never seen this in my relationship with my husband either.
 
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