Do Catholics have to marry inside a church?

[kate_di_cascia]

My boyfriend and I are discussing marriage, but I really don’t want to get married in a church building. A church wedding just seems weird to me. I am not very traditional and do not want the typical wedding. Think offbeat-bride.com. Additionally, this would be my second marriage (the first was annulled), and I am not sure I am even allowed to have a traditional wedding.

Do Catholics absolutely have to get married in a church wedding? I mean, I want a Catholic wedding, just not a Martha Stewart wedding, and I would much rather get married outdoors or in a small chapel.

 

[Catholic1954]

The wedding ceremony must take place in a church. You might get a dispensation for this, under EXTREME circumstances. Why not have a small church wedding and then go for it at the reception?

 

[diggerdomer]

My boyfriend and I are discussing marriage, but I really don’t want to get married in a church building. A church wedding just seems weird to me. I am not very traditional and do not want the typical wedding. Think offbeat-bride.com. Additionally, this would be my second marriage (the first was annulled), and I am not sure I am even allowed to have a traditional wedding.

Do Catholics absolutely have to get married in a church wedding? I mean, I want a Catholic wedding, just not a Martha Stewart wedding, and I would much rather get married outdoors or in a small chapel.

No, Catholics do not HAVE to get married in a Church. However, that’s the norm and the exceptions are rare. So…it seems you need to reflect on what’s more important to you…a Catholic wedding (in a Church, as the norm) or a wedding in some other venue which may or may not be “catholic.”

Your choice.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

My boyfriend and I are discussing marriage, but I really don’t want to get married in a church building. A church wedding just seems weird to me. I am not very traditional and do not want the typical wedding. Think offbeat-bride.com. Additionally, this would be my second marriage (the first was annulled), and I am not sure I am even allowed to have a traditional wedding.

Do Catholics absolutely have to get married in a church wedding? I mean, I want a Catholic wedding, just not a Martha Stewart wedding, and I would much rather get married outdoors or in a small chapel.

A Catholic does not have to have a “Martha Stewart wedding”, They can exchange vows with a priest or deacon in the parish church office.

 

[Seatuck]

My boyfriend and I are discussing marriage, but I really don’t want to get married in a church building. A church wedding just seems weird to me. I am not very traditional and do not want the typical wedding. Think offbeat-bride.com. Additionally, this would be my second marriage (the first was annulled), and I am not sure I am even allowed to have a traditional wedding.

Do Catholics absolutely have to get married in a church wedding? I mean, I want a Catholic wedding, just not a Martha Stewart wedding, and I would much rather get married outdoors or in a small chapel.

It depends upon your Bishop and your Diocese. You have may have some options. Your wedding can be very small. You can get married at a regular Mass without all the hoopla. You can get married with just two witnesses. Best place to start would be your parish. Do you have a small chapel in your parish/diocese ? Find out what the options are by making an appointment with your priest. Catholic belief in general says that it is fitting to get married in a place such as a church near the tabernacle. But it is not an absolute if other fitting places are available. Is your future intended also a Catholic? That has an impact.

 

[benedictgal]

For whatever it’s worth, here is what Redemptionis Sacramentum notes about the location of the celebration of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass:

1. The Place for the Celebration of Holy Mass
   [108.] “The celebration of the Eucharist is to be carried out in a sacred place, unless in a particular case necessity requires otherwise. In this case the celebration must be in a decent place”.197 The diocesan Bishop shall be the judge for his diocese concerning this necessity, on a case-by-case basis.

[109.] It is never lawful for a Priest to celebrate in a temple or sacred place of any non-Christian religion.

With the exception of the Sacraments of Penance and the Annointing of the Sick, the regular venue for the Sacraments of the Church is inside a church. You would not think of having your appendix taking out while under a tree, right? No, you would go to a hospital for that.

I think that the problem is that too many showsl like “A Wedding Story”, “Whose Wedding is It” and “Platinum Brides” tend to influence a lot of brides, sometimes, for the worse. Inasmuch as the OP noted that a Martha Stewart wedding is not what is wanted, it seems as though the influence from these shows is there.

 

[FrDavid96]

My boyfriend and I are discussing marriage, but I really don’t want to get married in a church building. A church wedding just seems weird to me. I am not very traditional and do not want the typical wedding. Think offbeat-bride.com. Additionally, this would be my second marriage (the first was annulled), and I am not sure I am even allowed to have a traditional wedding.

Do Catholics absolutely have to get married in a church wedding? I mean, I want a Catholic wedding, just not a Martha Stewart wedding, and I would much rather get married outdoors or in a small chapel.

The answer to your question is found in canon law.
Can. 1118 §1. A marriage between Catholics or between a Catholic party and a non-Catholic baptized party is to be celebrated in a parish church. It can be celebrated in another church or oratory with the permission of the local ordinary or pastor.

§2. The local ordinary can permit a marriage to be celebrated in another suitable place.

§3. A marriage between a Catholic party and a non-baptized party can be celebrated in a church or in another suitable place.

vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P40.HTM

 

[1ke]

My boyfriend and I are discussing marriage, but I really don’t want to get married in a church building.

The proper place to celebrate a Sacrament in is the Church or another sacred space (a chapel, oratory, etc). Canon Law requires a bride and groom to be married in the parish in which one or the other resides.

To marry in another parish, a chapel, an oratory, etc, requires permission from the parish pastor. For example, a Catholic couple wanting to marry at the chapel of the Catholic university they both attended, or have Uncle Dominic marry them at the monastery where he is an order priest, or get married in the hometown parish, etc.

To marry elsewhere requires permission from the bishop, and must be for a good reason. “Because a church wedding is weird” is probably not a good reason as far as the Bishop is concerned.

I encourage you to examine why you think a church wedding is “weird” in the context of approaching the Church for the Sacrament of Marriage.

Do you have a good understanding of the Catholic teaching on marriage and Sacraments?

A church wedding just seems weird to me. I am not very traditional and do not want the typical wedding.

You do not have to have a “typical wedding” if you mean tons of bridesmaids, big poufy dress, and 200 guests. A Catholic marriage ceremony requires a priest and two witnesses. It can be done in a regular weekend Mass. It can be done on a weekday. It can be done with only a few people present, no flowers, no Trumpet Voluntary, no “frou-frou.” Frou-frou is not the essence of the Sacrament.

Think offbeat-bride.com.

In your attempt to not be Martha Stewart, don’t be Elvira either.

Remember, that a Catholic wedding is a Sacrament and should be approached with dignity and seriousness.

I visited this website, and while there is nothing wrong with wearing a non-traditional dress (ie, regular church clothes, a suit, a dress that is not white, etc) it is NOT appropriate to have your dog be the best man, wear something that is immodest or theatrical, have a circus wedding, a “jump the broom” ceremony, a hippie handfasting etc.

So, I’m not sure what you mean by “offbeat bride.” That site goes from merely choosing a non-traditional color for your dress to way, way out there.

Additionally, this would be my second marriage (the first was annulled), and I am not sure I am even allowed to have a traditional wedding.

Certainly, anyone marrying in the Catholic Church can have a “traditional wedding” since marrying in the Church means you are free to marry. A marriage attempt that has been declared null means you were never validly married. A widow/widower marrying for the second time can also have a “traditional wedding” if they desire. The Church does not have any prohibitions on this.

Do Catholics absolutely have to get married in a church wedding? I mean, I want a Catholic wedding, just not a Martha Stewart wedding, and I would much rather get married outdoors or in a small chapel.

You can get married in a small chapel. You can get married in a weekday or weekend Mass. You can get married with just a few people there. To get married outside requires permission of the bishop.

 

[FrDavid96]

There is an important distinction in canon 1118

The pastor is competent to give permission for a marriage to occur in “another church or oratory” other than the actual parish-church (strictly speaking). Note that the word “chapel” does not appear in the canon.

Only the bishop is competent to give permission for marriage to occur in a place other than some church or oratory. If the building is a chapel, the permission of the bishop is necessary.

For example: my own parish territory has within it a mission church which at one time was its own parish church. I can preside at a wedding in that mission church anytime. But if the couple wants the wedding outdoors or in a chapel, I need to request permission from the bishop.

The canon also requires that the couple be married in the parish of which one or the other has residence. This reference to “parish” refers to the territory of the parish, not the church-building. c 1115

It’s easy to miss the distinction between parish-territory and parish-church-building.

 

[kentuckyliz]

The most incredible weddings I have attended are ones in small country parishes, done simply, where everyone rolls up their sleeves as a parish family and does the work and contributes to the event. A group effort. The receptions are simple and in the parish hall, not a huge fancy dinner at a megaformal place. In the warm weather, it often spills to the outside picnic tables under the shade trees and the kids are running around…

These kind of weddings are a great sign of what marriage is all about, because all the people are pledging their support of that couple, not just in that day’s event, but in their whole married lives together. It helps get past the illusion that marriage is solely a private thing between two people. No sirree.

I’m not a good visual/decorating person but there’s a crew of ladies who are. I’m not a good cook but we have a member who is a chef and will develop a menu based on your budget and make it good, and a whole team of people who help him. Another guy is a photographer who donates his services as a gift to the couple. There’s some talented seamstresses too. I’m in the musically inclined group and donate my musical services along with two other singers and a very talented pianist. So even the poorest members of our parish get a really beautiful, simple, joyfully celebrated wedding.

This kind of parish is a great place to be a regular member on an ongoing basis throughout your life, too. I <3 St Martha’s!!!

 

[graceandglory]

The proper place to celebrate a Sacrament in is the Church or another sacred space (a chapel, oratory, etc). Canon Law requires a bride and groom to be married in the parish in which one or the other resides.

To marry in another parish, a chapel, an oratory, etc, requires permission from the parish pastor. For example, a Catholic couple wanting to marry at the chapel of the Catholic university they both attended, or have Uncle Dominic marry them at the monastery where he is an order priest, or get married in the hometown parish, etc.

To marry elsewhere requires permission from the bishop, and must be for a good reason. “Because a church wedding is weird” is probably not a good reason as far as the Bishop is concerned.

I encourage you to examine why you think a church wedding is “weird” in the context of approaching the Church for the Sacrament of Marriage.

Do you have a good understanding of the Catholic teaching on marriage and Sacraments?

You do not have to have a “typical wedding” if you mean tons of bridesmaids, big poufy dress, and 200 guests. A Catholic marriage ceremony requires a priest and two witnesses. It can be done in a regular weekend Mass. It can be done on a weekday. It can be done with only a few people present, no flowers, no Trumpet Voluntary, no “frou-frou.” Frou-frou is not the essence of the Sacrament.

In your attempt to not be Martha Stewart, don’t be Elvira either.

Remember, that a Catholic wedding is a Sacrament and should be approached with dignity and seriousness.

I visited this website, and while there is nothing wrong with wearing a non-traditional dress (ie, regular church clothes, a suit, a dress that is not white, etc) it is NOT appropriate to have your dog be the best man, wear something that is immodest or theatrical, have a circus wedding, a “jump the broom” ceremony, a hippie handfasting etc.

So, I’m not sure what you mean by “offbeat bride.” That site goes from merely choosing a non-traditional color for your dress to way, way out there.

Certainly, anyone marrying in the Catholic Church can have a “traditional wedding” since marrying in the Church means you are free to marry. A marriage attempt that has been declared null means you were never validly married. A widow/widower marrying for the second time can also have a “traditional wedding” if they desire. The Church does not have any prohibitions on this.

You can get married in a small chapel. You can get married in a weekday or weekend Mass. You can get married with just a few people there. To get married outside requires permission of the bishop.

Awesome post, 1ke!

 

[1ke]

Awesome post, 1ke!

Thanks, I thought I was starting to sound rather like Dr. Suess.

You can marry in a box, you can marry wearing sox
You can decorate with a fox, you can serve your guests some bagels and lox.

LOL!

 

[IrishAm]

The most incredible weddings I have attended are ones in small country parishes, done simply, where everyone rolls up their sleeves as a parish family and does the work and contributes to the event. A group effort. The receptions are simple and in the parish hall, not a huge fancy dinner at a megaformal place. In the warm weather, it often spills to the outside picnic tables under the shade trees and the kids are running around…

These kind of weddings are a great sign of what marriage is all about, because all the people are pledging their support of that couple, not just in that day’s event, but in their whole married lives together. It helps get past the illusion that marriage is solely a private thing between two people. No sirree.

I’m not a good visual/decorating person but there’s a crew of ladies who are. I’m not a good cook but we have a member who is a chef and will develop a menu based on your budget and make it good, and a whole team of people who help him. Another guy is a photographer who donates his services as a gift to the couple. There’s some talented seamstresses too. I’m in the musically inclined group and donate my musical services along with two other singers and a very talented pianist. So even the poorest members of our parish get a really beautiful, simple, joyfully celebrated wedding.

This kind of parish is a great place to be a regular member on an ongoing basis throughout your life, too. I <3 St Martha’s!!!

You are blessed!

 

[kage_ar]

Have the wedding in a Church, take your off beat photos outside.

 

[jmcrae]

Do Catholics absolutely have to get married in a church wedding? I mean, I want a Catholic wedding, just not a Martha Stewart wedding, and I would much rather get married outdoors or in a small chapel.

What you need for a bare-bones Catholic wedding is to be in your local parish church with a priest, your spouse-to-be, and two witnesses. The ceremony itself takes about ten minutes; you are not required to have a service or a Mass, if you don’t want to.

Being inside of a Church in no way requires anything difficult or fancy. You and your spouse to be just stand before the priest with two witnesses, and make your vows. The rest of it is pretty much optional - you are not required to decorate the Church, nor to invite a great crowd of onlookers, if you don’t want to.

The reception is also optional, and you can invite as many or as few as you want to that, as well. This being a second wedding, I can understand your desire to keep everything low-key, and this is certainly possible.