Do cradle Catholics struggle with Confession?

[Leegal]

Do regular, cradle Catholics struggle with confession? When I belonged to the Pentecostal one of my biggest struggles were altar calls. Now I don’t have to worry about those thank God (I just love our denomination,) but once in a blue moon every now and then, I feel like the spirit is leading me to go to confession and it feels so strange because it started in October, when I went and I thought it would be done. Now the feeling is back and I don’t know what to do. I get shy when it comes to practicing my new denomination especially on my own. I feel so awkward. I love it but it is also the first denomination where I feel like I finally belong. I’m not fighting the spirit like I used to. God is as mysterious but he is just closer somehow.

For those who were formally from another denomination what are your experiences on this? I’m seeking people’s stories because it’s an area about the Catholic denomination that I am extremely uncomfortable about.

Thanks SG

Yes and no. Cradle Catholic here. When I was much younger it was more difficult to understand and sometimes overwhelming. But I grew up in a different time. Now the priests are more pastoral and I find a sense of relief when I leave. There’s no sin so great that it cannot be forgiven – I know.

I had a conversation with a non-demoninational fundamentalist Christian friend of mine who says that her sister’s church requires confession before the entire congregation – an example she gave was infidelity in a marriage. Then the whole congregation is involved in the healing. My friend, though she was born Baptist, as she describes, said that would not be for her. Her family has moved into fundamentalism. I agreed.

I said for all the criticism about Catholicism and confession, if there would be any confession I would rather talk privately with a priest than to discuss my sins before an entire congregation who would then feel required to see that I do not err again. I can’t imagine how invasive this would be if a couple were struggling with infidelity, as was the example, and now had the whole congregation at their backs trying to intervene. I don’t see how that is helpful to have the congregation know another’s sins.

My Church, though small having only one priest will hear confessions by appointment and at regular hours – Saturday afternoons. One Church hears confessions throughout the day, 5 days per week and all day on Saturday. It’s almost next to impossible not to be able to find a confession and it is a feeling of renewal and relief.

The priest may not have comitted my same sins, but he’s trained to discern the gravity of a situation and guide me privately. And he’s heard it before.

If you are feeling the call to go, then do go. Confession is never “done.” Make it a habit to go regularly. If you feel in need, then make an appointment if it cannot wait until regular hours. And you are free to confess at any Catholic Church if the need is great.

 

[paperwight66]

Totally wrong my cafeteria Catholic friend.

If the mortal sin violates a sacrament such as marriage then confession is not allowed. .

charliedrake, you really must justify these wrong and weird statements by quoting from the catechism or from relevant church documents.

People are correcting your wrong statements because non-Catholics might read what you write and get the wrong information. Fortunately, to be honest, I don’t think any practising Catholics would be misled, as you are so plainly wrong.

 

[CatholicPraises]

charliedrake, you really must justify these wrong and weird statements by quoting from the catechism or from relevant church documents.

People are correcting your wrong statements because non-Catholics might read what you right and get the wrong information. Fortunately, to be honest, I don’t think any practising Catholics would be misled, as you are so plainly wrong.

Are you a Catholic? You seem to believe in such that is not realistic nor Catholic.

 

[tomarin]

I like confession, er, I mean the sacrament of reconciliation.

 

[paperwight66]

Are you a Catholic? You seem to believe in such that is not realistic nor Catholic.

Please explain.
Do you believe, then, that confession of a mortal sin that affects marriage is not allowed, as charliedrake says?

 

[tomarin]

Please explain.
Do you believe, then, that confession of a mortal sin that affects marriage is not allowed, as charliedrake says?

I didn’t know we had any scousers here on CAF.

 

[kaneata]

That’s a great idea!

        A lot of people struggle with going because it can be embarrassing. (They've heard everything!)     But, boy does it feel good to come out feeling squeaky clean!

 

[paperwight66]

I didn’t know we had any scousers here on CAF.

Only by adoption! I wasn’t born in Liverpool, but I’m happy to say that it’s a great city with many interesting and beautiful places to visit.

We don’t all steal the tyres off parked cars and leave the cars up on bricks, by the way. We are quite kind to visitors on the whole. and if you want a Cathedral, we’ve got one to spare, as it says in the song ‘In my Liverpool home’ .

 

[tomarin]

We don’t all steal the tyres off parked cars and leave the cars up on bricks, by the way.

You don’t say!

 

[JRKH]

If you don’t believe parishioners discuss their Priests at men’s club, spaghetti dinner functions, family events etc…then you may just be getting half the information.

Ooohhh - I apologize…I didn’t know you had done such extensive, controlled and highly detailed research on the matter…
So - Which of these events yielded the fascinating tid-bit that those with Mortal sins are not allowed confession???

I really do apologize for the snarky remark above, but you make such outrageous comments that your credibility is in serious doubt. In all of your posts that I have read thus far I have seen many declarative statements but not once has I ever seen you quote or reference ANY Church document in support of your various declarative statements.

So - If your best source of reference is the gossip at parish functions I can only suggest that you hang around here a bit and begin to do some reading.
You might want to start with the Catechism

Then perhaps you can become a “good influence” on the other “Catholics” you meet at these functions.

Please forgive my blunt response…I should perhaps drop out of this conversation…

Peace
James

 

[CatholicPraises]

You need to do more then hang out at Catholic chat sites to rightly claim you know anything about the religion. Volunteer and join a club but either way get involved.

Ooohhh - I apologize…I didn’t know you had done such extensive, controlled and highly detailed research on the matter…
So - Which of these events yielded the fascinating tid-bit that those with Mortal sins are not allowed confession???

I really do apologize for the snarky remark above, but you make such outrageous comments that your credibility is in serious doubt. In all of your posts that I have read thus far I have seen many declarative statements but not once has I ever seen you quote or reference ANY Church document in support of your various declarative statements.

So - If your best source of reference is the gossip at parish functions I can only suggest that you hang around here a bit and begin to do some reading.
You might want to start with the Catechism

Then perhaps you can become a “good influence” on the other “Catholics” you meet at these functions.

Please forgive my blunt response…I should perhaps drop out of this conversation…

Peace
James

 

[erine]

Well I love confession… Lol

I just feel better and it keeps me on track. I go all the time, a few times a week. I never make up sins but if I’m there and have venial sins I will confess them and I always go for bigger ones.

I also like totrybto get plenary indulgences. When I can.

 

[JRKH]

You need to do more then hang out at Catholic chat sites to rightly claim you know anything about the religion. Volunteer and join a club but either way get involved.

Truth be told, I’d love to get more involved…unfortunately I am unable to at present - or the foreseeable future do to my wife’s health issues. She has later stage Alzheimer’s and I am her primary (read sole) caregiver.

CAF if one of the few places where I can (and want to) hang out.

As far as “knowing anything about the religion” goes…I know this. The Church I belong to has documented teachings. Those documents (at least most) are available on-line and so I don’t have to even leave my house to “know anything about the religion”.
I don’t need to “join a club” to claim to know something about the Catholic faith,

What getting out would admittedly do is expose me to more of the problems that individual Catholics are facing in trying to BE faithful Catholics as opposed to being, so called, “cafeteria Catholics” and such.
I would love to be able to volunteer in some way that would help with Catechesis, sponsor someone in RCIA or even teach RCIA.

Ah well - Perhaps someday - If God so wills.

Peace
James

 

[CatholicPraises]

I hope all is as well as possible with you health and your wife.

God Bless us all.

Ooohhh - I apologize…I didn’t know you had done such extensive, controlled and highly detailed research on the matter…
So - Which of these events yielded the fascinating tid-bit that those with Mortal sins are not allowed confession???

I really do apologize for the snarky remark above, but you make such outrageous comments that your credibility is in serious doubt. In all of your posts that I have read thus far I have seen many declarative statements but not once has I ever seen you quote or reference ANY Church document in support of your various declarative statements.

So - If your best source of reference is the gossip at parish functions I can only suggest that you hang around here a bit and begin to do some reading.
You might want to start with the Catechism

Then perhaps you can become a “good influence” on the other “Catholics” you meet at these functions.

Please forgive my blunt response…I should perhaps drop out of this conversation…

Peace
James

Truth be told, I’d love to get more involved…unfortunately I am unable to at present - or the foreseeable future do to my wife’s health issues. She has later stage Alzheimer’s and I am her primary (read sole) caregiver.

CAF if one of the few places where I can (and want to) hang out.

As far as “knowing anything about the religion” goes…I know this. The Church I belong to has documented teachings. Those documents (at least most) are available on-line and so I don’t have to even leave my house to “know anything about the religion”.
I don’t need to “join a club” to claim to know something about the Catholic faith,

What getting out would admittedly do is expose me to more of the problems that individual Catholics are facing in trying to BE faithful Catholics as opposed to being, so called, “cafeteria Catholics” and such.
I would love to be able to volunteer in some way that would help with Catechesis, sponsor someone in RCIA or even teach RCIA.

Ah well - Perhaps someday - If God so wills.

Peace
James

 

[JRKH]

I hope all is as well as possible with you health and your wife.

God Bless us all.

Thank you.
We get along OK by God’s good graces…

Peace
James

 

[Ubenedictus]

Oh BOY do I feel you.

Where I live there are no ‘set confession times’ so you ALWAYS have to make an appointment and I just find it so awkward and difficult.

I’m not a cradle Catholic but I just wanted to say that I struggle with the same things you mentioned.

i’m so sorry about that i live in nigeria and only the assitant priest says something like 'i’m not disposed as for the parish priest u can stop him anytime and anywhere and ask for the sacrament, besides the every sat confession

 

[Ubenedictus]

The struggle i think is natural. Most of the times i’m just unhappy about my sins the real struggle is when i have the really dirty sins, the ones u don’t want to hear from the lips of a christian, but after the sacrament u just feel free like in heaven i’m more than happy God walked me past the struggle. It’s like … peace

 

[SecretGarden]

You are correct, my fellow Canadian (just had to throw that in there ), in that we joined around the same time.

For me the first confession was the hardest. I agonized the week before. I was in tears almost every night just thinking about it (I have done very horrible things in my past).

Finally I fell to my knees and begged for help… somehow when it came time to Confess I had the strength to speak all of my sins without breaking down.

These days I struggle to go. I really, really do. There are just so many issues when it comes to Confession that I have to work through (more spiritually and emotionally then theologically, I’ve gotten to the point where I accept the theology behind it). Every time I go I have an internal battle.

The way I get through it is to pray. I basically beg the Holy Spirit to help me and of course He always comes through. This is the one thing I literally cannot do on my own, I have to be carried into that confessional each and every time, but I submit myself fully to Christ and to the Spirit and they in turn help me to do this.

I also have a ‘confession buddy’. When I need to go to Confession I call her and we make an appointment together. This way I’m never going alone AND it’s harder to back out when I know she’s relying on me just as much as I’m relying on her.

Anyway, I think we might have slightly different issues with Confession but in the end there are others who are struggling along with you.

Canada rocks Nickybr. We seem to be a minority on this forum.

What types of things do you bring up? I have a lot of Catholic friends but its different when you aren’t brought up inside it. Inside the pentecostal circles I was used to belong to we never had to admit our sins in front of the entire church. There was people’s testimonies but this is different. This feeling continues and I have no clue what to say? Things have happened to me in my past and as a Catholic I have my struggles. I don’t believe in this sacrament and yet God is calling me towards it. Its so strange. My first time was strange because I kept on having the priest say “no this isn’t a sin.” He was totally blocking it. The second time, I went to a different priest and I just blabbled on. It was so strange. Afterwords I was lighter and the topic didn’t bother me as much as it before. God has been healing so many aspects of my life as well as getting me prepared for his calling. The thing is: I’m a writter so I can write my feelings out not a problem but sometimes it is difficult for me talk about what is found only inside my many journals. How can one add confession to it? It’s still a very foreign aspect to me.

How do you know what is a sin that needs to be admitted in confession? When I make a mistake with a person, I try whenever possible to talk it out in a timely manner.

Thanks for your continual responses. They are helping a great deal.

 

[oneofmany]

Well, the numbers of those who go to confession tells the whole story. Not many go so they must find it hard and a struggle. I still think the church says it is a mortal sin not to go at least once a year, if I am not mistaken, so I drag myself there when my church has the many priests to hear confession and we all line up together. It can be a long wait unless you hurry to be at the first of the line.

For some reason I find it unnatural, the way it is done. I have been in therapy for years in the past so I don’t mind going to someone to tell them about my frailties and talk about problems. It is just different with confession. For one thing I can’t think of any sins to confess. Maybe I am a narcissist but if I have not done something wrong how can I think of something to confess? Oh, I am not perfect but is it a sin? I try not to become scrupulous and guilt ridden since I know that in itself can lead to mental illness.

I guess it is the idea of saying the rote prayers in confession. I am the anxious type and if it starts to feel like a performance I want to get out of there since my mind goes blank and I fear I will not remember the prayer. Saying the Act of Contrition with the assembly helps me so the once a year confession helps in this way.

Confession has helped me for the fact that some things I think of as sin aren’t at all and the priest has relieved my mind to tell me when something isn’t really a sin. Like getting angry. That is not sinful in its self and no guilt in that.

I guess I need to set up appointments with my priest and handle confession like a therapy session to feel comfortable. Some would not like that but that is what I am use to from my background. Then I worry about taking up my priest’s time when the confessional is right there. I don’t want to turn him into a therapist. I find the whole thing confusing.

 

[Adonia]

I used to struggle with it, but now accept confession and the forgiveness I receive as a reassuring part of the faith. It is one of the greatest sacraments, a place where we can be cleansed and continue on with our attempt at living a holy life. “Bless me Father for I have sinned…”.