Well, the numbers of those who go to confession tells the whole story. Not many go so they must find it hard and a struggle.
Many don’t believe in it anymore, or think it’s only for those really bad sins like murder. People seem to have no problem confessing their sins on Facebook. Sadly not in a repentant manner.
I still think the church says it is a mortal sin not to go at least once a year, if I am not mistaken, so I drag myself there when my church has the many priests to hear confession and we all line up together. It can be a long wait unless you hurry to be at the first of the line.
Yes, it is still one of the Precepts of the Church to go to Confession once a year, but that’s in relation to the once a year requirement to receive communion during the Easter Season. The two are supposed to be done at around the same time. If you receive communion every weekend, you’re supposed to go more often, and be sincerely repentant with the firm intent to amend one’s life (ie: quit shacking up immediately and quit using ABC immediately, etc).
For some reason I find it unnatural, the way it is done. I have been in therapy for years in the past so I don’t mind going to someone to tell them about my frailties and talk about problems.
Confession is not the same as a therapy session, nor should it be treated as such (ie: “Have a seat son, and tell me about what’s going on in your life. …] I see. …] God the Father of Mercies …] and I absolve you …] Give me a hug.”
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The closest thing in the non-sacramental life I can come up with is a cross between a court room and a pre-employment polygraph questionnaire booklet and polygraph test for a career in policing.
The Confessional is a tribunal of justice in which we accuse ourselves of the sins we’ve committed in entirety (ie: mortal sins must be confessed in both kind, number, and circumstances). The sacrament gives us the graces to overcome the specific sins we confess, which is why the laundry list of sins is a good thing. Those who tell you otherwise, DO NOT understand the sacrament. It is not supposed to be a therapy session or spiritual direction. Yes, the priest will usually give you some counsel, but not in the amount one would receive by making an appointment for spiritual direction.
It is just different with confession. For one thing I can’t think of any sins to confess. Maybe I am a narcissist but if I have not done something wrong how can I think of something to confess? Oh, I am not perfect but is it a sin? I try not to become scrupulous and guilt ridden since I know that in itself can lead to mental illness.
There’s a difference between not trying to become scrupulous and spiritual blindness. Essentially, yes not being perfect is a sin. We’re called to grow in holiness and to try to perfect ourselves in this life so that we may attain our proper place in Heaven which God intended for us before the Fall (Eg: Think of this as a GPA. and a minimal pass to excellent. You still pass, but not to the same degree as you would have had you worked harder, etc. Think of Failing as Hell, except you can’t take the class again.). Original sin makes this difficult to achieve.
If you’re really not seeing any sins, find a good orthodox priest and go confess to him. Tell him you do not think you have any sins. I assure you he is skilled in that area to help find your sins, probably more than you would like.
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I guess it is the idea of saying the rote prayers in confession. I am the anxious type and if it starts to feel like a performance I want to get out of there since my mind goes blank and I fear I will not remember the prayer. Saying the Act of Contrition with the assembly helps me so the once a year confession helps in this way.
You can write this stuff all down along with your list of sins when you go into the Confessional. I do. I have Social Anxiety Disorder, so I have enough to deal with when going to Confession. Relying on my memory is the last thing on my mind.
I guess I need to set up appointments with my priest and handle confession like a therapy session to feel comfortable. Some would not like that but that is what I am use to from my background. Then I worry about taking up my priest’s time when the confessional is right there. I don’t want to turn him into a therapist. I find the whole thing confusing.
Then don’t turn him into a therapist. Take it from someone who never went to Confession, to someone who now goes weekly. Don’t treat it like a therapy session, as that is not what it is. Find a good confessor. For me the FSSP have been the most help as they, well for starters, actually sit in the box…a lot, keep it anonymous and old school, and actually understand what the sacrament is and isn’t. (Also, you’ll find you get in and out quicker unless it’s been a while.).
Not purposely, just not a careful type by nature.
That one was intense. I know I missed a lot and I am still looking back, but not as much as I used to.)
