Do evangelical men struggle less w sexual sin?

[As_for_my_House]

My son and I get into theological debates often because he joined a christian house church about 2 years ago.

My last discussion was about my son not thinking that my husband is saved. Admittedly, my husband is not on fire for the Catholic faith, at least not the way I am and my son is for his newly found christian faith.

I don’t understand why my husband is very lukewarm about his faith. He is a convert of 15 years. He attends Mass, goes to Confession and prays each morning but a lot of what he does feel like he does it by rote. My son is right when he says that my husband has no passion for the faith. My son says that the reason is because he is in the Catholic church and does not know Christ.

When I met my husband he was an atheist and not living a moral life. I was very young and abandoned by my divorced parents so I latched on to him. I would never do that now but we have grown together and come a long way. I think my husband has minimal faith and he makes an effort to do more even though he does not have the zeal or the motivation to do it. He attends the men’s group at church and he likes it.

My son attended our catholic men’s group and said that some of the men there talk a lot about their struggle with sin, especially pornography. My son said that his Evangelical men friends do not have those problems because they are saved and they have Christ.

My son just got married last week and was a virgin, mostly because of my constant teaching about the importance of saving oneself for marriage

Could this be true that the evangelical men do not struggle with these serious sins and that Catholic men for some reason do? He is also very down on Catholic priests (I am heartfully sorry to say this because our poor priests have been through so much) because of the sex abuse scandal and this is probably the main reason he did not stay in the Catholic Church and will not give the Church a chance.

Is it possible? What do you think?

I

 

[AbideWithMe]

My son and I get into theological debates often because he joined a christian house church about 2 years ago.

My last discussion was about my son not thinking that my husband is saved. Admittedly, my husband is not on fire for the Catholic faith, at least not the way I am and my son is for his newly found christian faith.

I don’t understand why my husband is very lukewarm about his faith. He is a convert of 15 years. He attends Mass, goes to Confession and prays each morning but a lot of what he does feel like he does it by rote. My son is right when he says that my husband has no passion for the faith. My son says that the reason is because he is in the Catholic church and does not know Christ.

When I met my husband he was an atheist and not living a moral life. I was very young and abandoned by my divorced parents so I latched on to him. I would never do that now but we have grown together and come a long way. I think my husband has minimal faith and he makes an effort to do more even though he does not have the zeal or the motivation to do it. He attends the men’s group at church and he likes it.

My son attended our catholic men’s group and said that some of the men there talk a lot about their struggle with sin, especially pornography. My son said that his Evangelical men friends do not have those problems because they are saved and they have Christ.

My son just got married last week and was a virgin, mostly because of my constant teaching about the importance of saving oneself for marriage

Could this be true that the evangelical men do not struggle with these serious sins and that Catholic men for some reason do? He is also very down on Catholic priests (I am heartfully sorry to say this because our poor priests have been through so much) because of the sex abuse scandal and this is probably the main reason he did not stay in the Catholic Church and will not give the Church a chance.

Is it possible? What do you think?

I

No, he’s just plain wrong. I’m a 49 year woman who’s been in Evangelical churches my whole life. Mainstream Evangelical churches are usually pretty open about the common struggle with sexual sins; many have men’s groups for plain discussion between male friends about whatever they’re having difficulty with. “Every Man’s Battle” is one nation-wide group I know about which has been around for years.

Hi from Berks County to your north!

 

[thephilosopher6]

I know this is kind of irrelevant and maybe a silly question, but do women struggle with any kind of sexual sins? I know women are not “visual creatures” like men are, but can women have lustful thoughts?

 

[ClearWater]

I know this is kind of irrelevant and maybe a silly question, but do women struggle with any kind of sexual sins? I know women are not “visual creatures” like men are, but can women have lustful thoughts?

Absolutely.

 

[Xantippe]

My son and I get into theological debates often because he joined a christian house church about 2 years ago.

My last discussion was about my son not thinking that my husband is saved. Admittedly, my husband is not on fire for the Catholic faith, at least not the way I am and my son is for his newly found christian faith.

I don’t understand why my husband is very lukewarm about his faith. He is a convert of 15 years. He attends Mass, goes to Confession and prays each morning but a lot of what he does feel like he does it by rote. My son is right when he says that my husband has no passion for the faith. My son says that the reason is because he is in the Catholic church and does not know Christ.

When I met my husband he was an atheist and not living a moral life. I was very young and abandoned by my divorced parents so I latched on to him. I would never do that now but we have grown together and come a long way. I think my husband has minimal faith and he makes an effort to do more even though he does not have the zeal or the motivation to do it. He attends the men’s group at church and he likes it.

My son attended our catholic men’s group and said that some of the men there talk a lot about their struggle with sin, especially pornography. My son said that his Evangelical men friends do not have those problems because they are saved and they have Christ.

My son just got married last week and was a virgin, mostly because of my constant teaching about the importance of saving oneself for marriage

Could this be true that the evangelical men do not struggle with these serious sins and that Catholic men for some reason do? He is also very down on Catholic priests (I am heartfully sorry to say this because our poor priests have been through so much) because of the sex abuse scandal and this is probably the main reason he did not stay in the Catholic Church and will not give the Church a chance.

Is it possible? What do you think?

I

Wow–I think this all boils down to your son being rather sheltered (good job!) and his Evangelical male friends not being very frank. (And, honestly, they have a right to keep their private struggles private.)

I did InterVarsity (a Protestant parachurch campus group) in college as a young Evangelical and got a lot out of it. There was an episode where the guys (including some guys in leadership) went public with the fact that they were struggling with purity and I believe they formed an accountability group. And these were very fine, very conscientious, very good men.

I remember once talking to a nice young male college student who said that he once decided to start praying for every woman he started to lust for, and then discovering that he was praying for a large percentage of campus. (And by the way, what a great idea!)

So, I think your son just hasn’t had a lot of life experience yet.

Also, “house church” may actually mean “cult,” but I’m sure you’ve thought of that possibility already.

 

[Sarcelle]

I know this is kind of irrelevant and maybe a silly question, but do women struggle with any kind of sexual sins? I know women are not “visual creatures” like men are, but can women have lustful thoughts?

I read somewhere that men are tempted via images and women are tempted via the written word.

Some of those “bodice rippers” books that women like to read are straight up porn.

 

[Xantippe]

I also think your son is in for a lot of disappointment if he believes that “real” Christians never struggle with sin.

 

[Xantippe]

Also, just so you know in advance how this is going to play out, your son is going to say that any disgraced Evangelical Protestant “isn’t really Christian.”

In logic, this is called the “no true Scotsman” fallacy.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_true_Scotsman

I grew up around this idea that “Christians” were inherently much better people than non-“Christians,” and anybody who behaved badly “wasn’t a real Christian.”

It’s an attractive idea, but it certainly doesn’t reflect the world as it is. There are awful people who are Christian (even “saved” Evangelical Christians!) and very good people who are not practicing Christians. It also means that we are always needing to whittle down the guest list for the Supper of the Lamb, every time we discover the failings of our fellow believers.

 

[As_for_my_House]

His view of his current church seems somewhat idealized.
But today he almost had me believing that these evangelical men really have such a good support system in place that these kind of sins are not a problem for them. They confess their sins to one and other. And maybe* I’m* sheltered but I was surprised to hear about serious practicing Catholic grown men still struggling with Pornography. I don’t read much on this site about folks sexual struggles because I don’t have much advice.I understand that young men are highly vulnerable but is this a huge struggle for grown married christian men ?

Wow, I really hate pornography.

 

[ltwin]

My son and I get into theological debates often because he joined a christian house church about 2 years ago.

My last discussion was about my son not thinking that my husband is saved. Admittedly, my husband is not on fire for the Catholic faith, at least not the way I am and my son is for his newly found christian faith.

I don’t understand why my husband is very lukewarm about his faith. He is a convert of 15 years. He attends Mass, goes to Confession and prays each morning but a lot of what he does feel like he does it by rote. My son is right when he says that my husband has no passion for the faith. My son says that the reason is because he is in the Catholic church and does not know Christ.

When I met my husband he was an atheist and not living a moral life. I was very young and abandoned by my divorced parents so I latched on to him. I would never do that now but we have grown together and come a long way. I think my husband has minimal faith and he makes an effort to do more even though he does not have the zeal or the motivation to do it. He attends the men’s group at church and he likes it.

My son attended our catholic men’s group and said that some of the men there talk a lot about their struggle with sin, especially pornography. My son said that his Evangelical men friends do not have those problems because they are saved and they have Christ.

My son just got married last week and was a virgin, mostly because of my constant teaching about the importance of saving oneself for marriage

Could this be true that the evangelical men do not struggle with these serious sins and that Catholic men for some reason do? He is also very down on Catholic priests (I am heartfully sorry to say this because our poor priests have been through so much) because of the sex abuse scandal and this is probably the main reason he did not stay in the Catholic Church and will not give the Church a chance.

Is it possible? What do you think?

I

As an evangelical man in his 20s, I can say that your son is wrong. His church may preach that real Christians don’t struggle with sin, and as a result, the members don’t admit to any private sins lest their salvation be put into question.

 

[JurisPrudens]

My son and I get into theological debates often because he joined a christian house church about 2 years ago.

My last discussion was about my son not thinking that my husband is saved. Admittedly, my husband is not on fire for the Catholic faith, at least not the way I am and my son is for his newly found christian faith.

I don’t understand why my husband is very lukewarm about his faith. He is a convert of 15 years. He attends Mass, goes to Confession and prays each morning but a lot of what he does feel like he does it by rote. My son is right when he says that my husband has no passion for the faith. My son says that the reason is because he is in the Catholic church and does not know Christ.

When I met my husband he was an atheist and not living a moral life. I was very young and abandoned by my divorced parents so I latched on to him. I would never do that now but we have grown together and come a long way. I think my husband has minimal faith and he makes an effort to do more even though he does not have the zeal or the motivation to do it. He attends the men’s group at church and he likes it.

My son attended our catholic men’s group and said that some of the men there talk a lot about their struggle with sin, especially pornography. My son said that his Evangelical men friends do not have those problems because they are saved and they have Christ.

My son just got married last week and was a virgin, mostly because of my constant teaching about the importance of saving oneself for marriage

Could this be true that the evangelical men do not struggle with these serious sins and that Catholic men for some reason do? He is also very down on Catholic priests (I am heartfully sorry to say this because our poor priests have been through so much) because of the sex abuse scandal and this is probably the main reason he did not stay in the Catholic Church and will not give the Church a chance.

Is it possible? What do you think?

I

Your husband is obviously a good Catholic, trying to live up to his faith. You should not be concerned about “lack of fire” in him. The “fire” may only be gifted by the Holy Spirit, and it is not given to everyone in the same amount.

 

[AbideWithMe]

I also think your son is in for a lot of disappointment if he believes that “real” Christians never struggle with sin.

Yes.

It could be the case that being in the early stages of a newly-found passion—both towards God and his new wife—can make it seem like old struggles just drop away and temptations lose their allure. That’s fine for a time. But often, once one is miles down the road and love is tested and not so shiny new, that initial ease at ignoring temptation becomes more of a daily decision to stay committed amidst waning and waxing felt passion.

 

[Xantippe]

As an evangelical man in his 20s, I can say that your son is wrong. His church may preach that real Christians don’t struggle with sin, and as a result, the members don’t admit to any private sins lest their salvation be put into question.

Yep.

 

[AbideWithMe]

As an evangelical man in his 20s, I can say that your son is wrong. His church may preach that real Christians don’t struggle with sin, and as a result, the members don’t admit to any private sins lest their salvation be put into question.

Yes, and I hope this is not the case. I hope it’s just his own new passion speaking, but if it is the church actively teaching this regarding any kind of sin, that’s a major problem.

 

[CB_Catholic]

What bothers me about all this is not only the denial of the reality of the Christian struggle against sin, which St. Paul even admits to, but the judgement of your husband. No one can really look into another’s mind and soul except God, and many people have a very deep faith but are not prone to outward expression of it. The judgement of another person’s relationship with God is an area where even angels dare not tread–it is reserved to God alone.

I would caution your son, if he were mine, that he should stick with praying for his family members and leave the judgment of them to God. But if he thinks evangelicals have some sort of advantage when it comes to sin of any kind, let alone pornography, he is sadly mistaken, and having hung around them for a number of years, and having family members who were “saved”, I know he will be in for a rude awakening one day.

 

[As_for_my_House]

Your husband is obviously a good Catholic, trying to live up to his faith. You should not be concerned about “lack of fire” in him. The “fire” may only be gifted by the Holy Spirit, and it is not given to everyone in the same amount.

Thanks. This eases my mind because I do see him try to live the faith. I don"t know what my son expects considering how far my husband has had to come.

 

[jlhargus]

My son and I get into theological debates often because he joined a christian house church about 2 years ago.

My last discussion was about my son not thinking that my husband is saved. Admittedly, my husband is not on fire for the Catholic faith, at least not the way I am and my son is for his newly found christian faith.

I don’t understand why my husband is very lukewarm about his faith. He is a convert of 15 years. He attends Mass, goes to Confession and prays each morning but a lot of what he does feel like he does it by rote. My son is right when he says that my husband has no passion for the faith. My son says that the reason is because he is in the Catholic church and does not know Christ.

When I met my husband he was an atheist and not living a moral life. I was very young and abandoned by my divorced parents so I latched on to him. I would never do that now but we have grown together and come a long way. I think my husband has minimal faith and he makes an effort to do more even though he does not have the zeal or the motivation to do it. He attends the men’s group at church and he likes it.

My son attended our catholic men’s group and said that some of the men there talk a lot about their struggle with sin, especially pornography. My son said that his Evangelical men friends do not have those problems because they are saved and they have Christ.

My son just got married last week and was a virgin, mostly because of my constant teaching about the importance of saving oneself for marriage

Could this be true that the evangelical men do not struggle with these serious sins and that Catholic men for some reason do? He is also very down on Catholic priests (I am heartfully sorry to say this because our poor priests have been through so much) because of the sex abuse scandal and this is probably the main reason he did not stay in the Catholic Church and will not give the Church a chance. Is it possible? What do you think? I

Give your son some good Catholic apologetic books, such as Catholicism and Fundamentalism by Karl Keating. Better yet why don’t both of you read it then discuss it. Your husband might enjoy it also.

 

[As_for_my_House]

Yes, and I hope this is not the case. I hope it’s just his own new passion speaking, but if it is the church actively teaching this regarding any kind of sin, that’s a major problem.

I do think that he believes that his" brothers and sisters" have conquered sin because the Blood of Christ has washed over them and that they are no longer a slave to sin so they do not become addicted to sin ever again but apparently Catholics are still bound to sin because we practice works , rituals like the Sacraments, the Mass, etc - like the Jews.

I have to say, I’ve visited the house church a few times now and it really does look good on the surface. So warm, friendly, open, joyful, very down to earth folks and no one acting weird in any detectable way. Most are married with generously sized families.
It seems very Utopian, very Christian.

My only criticism of the church so far, and this I formed from listening to the preaching sitting through the service, is that they have a truncated, undeveloped and immature understanding of Christianity. I have begun to call them baby Christians, at least this group seems to be. I should add that half the congregation is Asian, mostly Chinese immigrants so maybe it’s because there is a language barrier. The teachings are Bible based, too literal and superficial. The songs(hymns) are silly and strike me as amateur or childish compared to our hymns, of course there are some exceptions like" Amazing Grace".

But I am highly impressed with the fellowship aspect and still wonder why we don’t have this in our Church . And I am still wondering if my son could be correct that these men don’t suffer the burdens of sexual addictions.

 

[As_for_my_House]

Give your son some good Catholic apologetic books, such as Catholicism and Fundamentalism by Karl Keating. Better yet why don’t both of you read it then discuss it. Your husband might enjoy it also.

I’ve given him all of the above and more Scott Hahn , Fr Mitch Pacwa but I will revisit Karl Keating again. Thanks.

My husband won’t read Catholic books or watch Catholic TV. He falls asleep.

 

[Xantippe]

I do think that he believes that his" brothers and sisters" have conquered sin because the Blood of Christ has washed over them and that they are no longer a slave to sin so they do not become addicted to sin ever again but apparently Catholics are still bound to sin because we practice works , rituals like the Sacraments, the Mass, etc - like the Jews.

I have to say, I’ve visited the house church a few times now and it really does look good on the surface. So warm, friendly, open, joyful, very down to earth folks and no one acting weird in any detectable way. Most are married with generously sized families.
It seems very Utopian, very Christian.

My only criticism of the church so far, and this I formed from listening to the preaching sitting through the service, is that they have a truncated, undeveloped and immature understanding of Christianity. I have begun to call them baby Christians, at least this group seems to be. I should add that half the congregation is Asian, mostly Chinese immigrants so maybe it’s because there is a language barrier. The teachings are Bible based, too literal and superficial. The songs(hymns) are silly and strike me as amateur or childish compared to our hymns, of course there are some exceptions like" Amazing Grace".

But I am highly impressed with the fellowship aspect and still wonder why we don’t have this in our Church . And I am still wondering if my son could be correct that these men don’t suffer the burdens of sexual addictions.

It’s possible, because it’s really really small. I get the feeling that our local Latin Mass has a similarly vibrant community–but it consists of about 200 people tops.

Once you have a large enough body of people, you get something more reminiscent of a Greyhound terminal.

Scale is important.