Do I go?

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Hello:

As you all know All saints day is coming. I am having a very difficult time with the church. I have actually left, another topic. However, I am dealing with the death of twins from years past. I have never dealt with their deaths until this year. Should I just suck it up and attend the holy day of obligation, or wait until I can fully attend church, at present the priest and I don’t seem to be on the same level. Thanks for the advice.

scared.
 
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scared:
Hello:

As you all know All saints day is coming. I am having a very difficult time with the church. I have actually left, another topic. However, I am dealing with the death of twins from years past. I have never dealt with their deaths until this year. Should I just suck it up and attend the holy day of obligation, or wait until I can fully attend church, at present the priest and I don’t seem to be on the same level. Thanks for the advice.

scared.
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I would say that since it is a Holy Day of Obligation you should go, especially in the situation that you are in. Whether or not you have a problem with the Church here on earth, you should remember that is only a small part of the overall picture, in fact the physical church may actually be the least important aspect in the whole of the Church.

Now if you have a problem with God concerning the situation that you are in, that is an entirely different matter. In that case I guess you would have to let your conscience guide you and hope that you are on the right path.

I hope that you find the answers you are seeking and that God brings some peace to your soul. Remember the Church isn’t a museum for saints but rather a hospital for sinners. My mom told me that years ago and I never forgot it.
 
I am very sorry for your loss.

I would say go. If you have left the church but are still drawn to the Holy Day I believe you know instinctively the church has something you want and need.

One of those things is reconciliation - the sacrament as well as something between you and God. You may be or had been really angry with God because of the death of your twins among other things.

It may be time to give the Father your anger, pain and sorrow. Let him have it. Really have it. And then let him give you the healing and peace you are craving.

My thoughts will be with you.
 
Go to be with your twins. They are no longer on this earth but they are still a part of your life, our Catholic community. They will be present at the altar during the Eucharist singing the Holy, Holy, Holy in praise of God their Father. This day is for them…go. For this one day put all your differences with the institution of the church aside and be with them.

I’m with the previous poster too, if there’s any anger, resentment you’ve been holding in - let it out on this special day so that the healing can begin. He knows your pain, He already knows your anger, but you may need to get it out one way or another. He can handle it.
 
Talking to a good confessor would help. it sounds like you do not have one close by. The loss of the twins will never go away, but perhaps if you could find a good confessor to discuss it with, that would help. Nothing can hurt as much as loosing a child, nothing. My heart goes out to you. :crying:
  • Kathie :bowdown:
 
Go and pray for help. I have the most respect for people when they acknowledge that they should not receive communion. In some ways its a bold statement to do that attending a Mass and not recieving. I worry/pray more for those who disregard the solemnity of the Mass and receive communion when they should not. By going to Mass even if angry you still acknowledge God and the saints. To me it shows some humility.
 
Obviously, your pain is still new and raw. If you haven’t consider attending a support group for parents who have lost children. compassionatefriends.org/ This is a link to one in our area, but there may be one in yours.

And if you have tried most everything, why not try God? Go to church this Holy Day…we believe in the communion of Saints and that the Mass is our closest link to heaven…where your children most likely are celebrating in the arms of our Lord and Savior who has always said, let the little children come to me.

And by all means, reconcile by making a good confession. Your healing can begin as soon as today. Isn’t that worth it all? Pray always for guidance.
 
If part of the issue is with a particular priest, why not attend a different church where there is not an issue with the priest. The anonymity may alleviate some of your anxiety.
 
Thank you for all your answers and support.

I was unable to attend mass today, fear was a big part of it, but my child has become ill with pnuneumia so we have been doing the doc thing today. Tomorrow being all souls day, I also will not beable to attend it is a choice between the living and the dead, both my children, both need care, but as someone said, the twins are in heaven, my other very much alive and very much needs my help. So I must make a very hard decision, but it is to stay with my child until better.

scared
 
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scared:
Thank you for all your answers and support.

I was unable to attend mass today, fear was a big part of it, but my child has become ill with pnuneumia so we have been doing the doc thing today. Tomorrow being all souls day, I also will not beable to attend it is a choice between the living and the dead, both my children, both need care, but as someone said, the twins are in heaven, my other very much alive and very much needs my help. So I must make a very hard decision, but it is to stay with my child until better.

scared
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Do you have access to an adoration chapel? If so you might try some quite time with Christ and listen to him. He is available without a priest in this way. It helps me greatly to go to adoration. Try to look at the mass as a prayer to God, that may help.

-D
 
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