Do I have a vocation?

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littlekitten

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I was born and raised in a Catholic family. Just a few years ago, I was sure I would never ever become a nun or a sister. I had always think only unsuccessful people without many options would enter a convent, and I can’t imagine living in a community with only women - would be too much drama.

Long story short, I now want to enter the Poor Clares of Perpetual Adoration cloistered convent in Alabama (https://olamnuns.com/). I want to move to Hanceville, AL and live in that convent because the nuns there get to have a daily adoration hour and also several hours of adoration during the night each week in addition to attend mass every day. One thing I want to do shortly before I die is to spend a night in adoration with only me and God. But since I don’t know when will I die, the only way I can obtain that wish is to enter that convent.

However, I don’t know if I can live in a convent. I still cannot live in a community or even just live with a roommate. I always found myself alone when going on a group trip. I’m just not good with people that’s why I don’t have friends. I also feel sick quite often; I get fatigue easily and get dizzy every time I walk down the stair, so I might get “kick out” for physically unsuitable reason. And if I ever get “kick out” or have to leave the convent for any reason, I will lose everything and might end up on the street. Entering a cloistered convent will be like putting all my eggs in one basket, which is fine if that basket never break. But if it does, that is, if I have to leave the convent after entered, I would lose everything and end up on the street because this particular convent require me to sell everything I have before enter.

I did found one way, however, to have what I want without taking risk. The plan is, since I never enjoyed material things or a lavish life anyway, I can continue to live a simple, frugal life and retire in 10 years. Then I will move to Hanceville, AL and live near the Shrine of the Most Blessed Sacrament. Then I can live the same schedule as the nuns there without having to deal with community living which lead to the risk of getting kicked out and lose everything. I will also get to visit my parents and siblings and spend whatever amount of time with them whenever I like. However, no plan is perfect, I don’t want to wait 10 years and there is no guarantee I won’t get into an accident and die before the 10 years. Then my dream of being able to spend 1 last night with Jesus shortly before I leave this earth won’t come true. “If Angels could be jealous of men, they would be so for one reason: Holy Communion”. And I don’t want to waste my times on earth not being able to spend my days and nights in adoration.
 
Short answer: Yes.

But which vocation? There are several. Speak with Father. Call the vocations office.
 
littlekitten said:
But since I don’t know when will I die, the only way I can obtain that wish is to enter that convent.
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You can go to Adoration at any Adoration Chapel. In fact, the overnight hours are the most difficult for Chapel Coordinators to cover!

Talk to your Vocations Office.

Talk to the Order, ask about a “come and see” weekend.

Everyone has a vocation, spiritual direction helps us find it.
 
There is a church that has 24/7 adoration 10 miles from where I live. But after work, cooking, cleaning, eating, etc, I just don’t have enough time as I like for adoration. Life would be a lot less stressful if I don’t have to hold down a job.
 
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Perhaps you can plan a vacation or long weekend around an overnight adoration session.

Our parish does overnight adoration with a Charismatic group once a month in the Church (the adoration chapel is not located at our parish).

The Diocese does overnight adoration at the Cathedral for various reasons.

I am sure you can find one!
 
Beside, I want to be the only person in adoration so I can cry in front of the Blessed Sacrament. And the rule in most church is that there have to be at least 2 people in adoration at all times.
 
littlekitten said:
There is a church that has 24/7 adoration 10 miles from where I live. But after work, cooking, cleaning, eating, etc, I just don’t have enough time as I like for adoration. Life would be a lot less stressful if I don’t have to hold down a job.
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I think you’d be well advised to work on ways to get to adoration in spite of your hectic schedule before you take any serious steps toward entering religious life.
 
At every chapel I have ever known, sure they would love to have 2 or more at every hour, but in real life as long as you have the code you can go in alone. No one is going to throw you out for being alone.
 
You call the Director of Women’s Vocations at your Diocese and ask.
 
littlekitten said:
But if it does, that is, if I have to leave the convent after entered, I would lose everything and end up on the street because this particular convent require me to sell everything I have before enter.
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Just a word about this, it might make a good plot in a movie or a book, but, that is not what leaving an order looks like.
 
littlekitten said:
Beside, I want to be the only person in adoration so I can cry in front of the Blessed Sacrament.
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You don’t have to be the only person there to cry in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I’m assuming you’re going to weep very quietly and not be screaming and bawling in front of Jesus. People are always crying in Adoration. I do it myself, I see other people do it, and it’s no big deal. It’s not like other people at Adoration are going to bother you about it. Many Adoration chapels even have a box of Kleenex right there.
 
Here’s my take, sister:

I hear a lot of I statements in what you’re saying. Not meaning to be offensive. I’ve mentioned here in another thread a desire to take on Holy Orders and become a Deacon. But, thanks be to God; (name removed by moderator) was kind enough to wake me up to the I statements in my desire.

I suggest doing some serious discernment. Pray. Pray and ponder deeply in yourself to see whether or not you’re feeling a vocational call or a self oriented wish.

Do Holy Hours and talk to a priest. Get a spiritual director. Really delve deeply into the matter.

Let God guide you; not yourself.

God bless you and may the Holy Spirit move you.
 
You might want to continue your education in the health care industry. This is a way to be a blessing like mother Teresa.
 
Taxx said:
You might want to continue your education in the health care industry. This is a way to be a blessing like mother Teresa.
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I’m not a student. I already had my Bachelor and Master degree in another field. Since I’m too shy and don’t have any people skills, I can’t do any of that anyway.
 
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