Do I have to forgive this person?

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damooster

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Last year my close childhood friend was found guilty of horrific crimes against two young children. He was sentenced to the state penitentiary for 35 years. When he was first incarcerated, he sent me a letter explaining that he was wrongfully accused. He also told me that he was incarcerated for being in a fight and that he would be out in a year. After I informed him that I knew the truth, he replied with another lie. I then told him that I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. I’ve since learned that he committed the same crimes against his sister when we were all kids and she and I happen to be very close.

I know that I am supposed to make peace with my family and friends but I’m having a hard time reaching out to him. My questions are: Am I obligated to reach out to him, and if so, how should I go about it? Every time I think about him, I think about the crimes he committed. Does Matthew 25:36 really apply here as well?
 
From what you’ve reported here, his sins against you are sins of lying. His sins and crimes against others can only be forgiven by God and by those he harmed. If he remains unrepentant for his sins and crimes, he cannot be forgiven by God and need not be forgiven by those he’s harmed. (See the article linked here for more information about The Limits of Forgiveness.) As for reaching out to him, it sounds to me like you’ve done that and he responded by lying, which makes trust impossible. See the link below for suggestions on “tough love.”

Recommended reading:

Is “tough love” Catholic?
 
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