Do I have to sacrifice? Urgent Matter!

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I’m in a dilemma right now and I am so guilty right now. So this person is coming to my house and he is spending the night. My parents wanted me to give my room to this person for the night. In order for me to do that, my parents demand that I remove all the clothes from my closet (I have A LOT of clothes). They also want me to take some of my non-religious posters off of my walls. I going to be honest here. For one night, to do all that renovation and then put the clothes back is a huge hussle for me. No one will help me. So I kinda back talked and said things like “Do I need to empty my ENTIRE closet? How many clothes is he going to bring?”
Now my parents are offended and my mom is like “How can she say that?!” They think by saying that I put a curse on the house and that God is going to punish us…um like What??
So now I feel guilty and my parents are mad at me. They decided they want to put the guest in another room. But now I just feel guilty and I can’t help but regret being mad about it. I wanted to talk to my parents and just explain them why I said what I said and I want them to understand me- but none of them would do that with me.
So what do I do? Can someone answer this quickly?
 
JCats1 said:
I’m in a dilemma right now and I am so guilty right now. So this person is coming to my house and he is spending the night. My parents wanted me to give my room to this person for the night. In order for me to do that, my parents demand that I remove all the clothes from my closet (I have A LOT of clothes). They also want me to take some of my non-religious posters off of my walls. I going to be honest here. For one night, to do all that renovation and then put the clothes back is a huge hussle for me. No one will help me. So I kinda back talked and said things like “Do I need to empty my ENTIRE closet? How many clothes is he going to bring?”
Now my parents are offended and my mom is like “How can she say that?!” They think by saying that I put a curse on the house and that God is going to punish us…um like What??
So now I feel guilty and my parents are mad at me. They decided they want to put the guest in another room. But now I just feel guilty and I can’t help but regret being mad about it. I wanted to talk to my parents and just explain them why I said what I said and I want them to understand me- but none of them would do that with me.
So what do I do? Can someone answer this quickly?
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Don’t worry about this and don’t bring it up–you’re getting off easy. Enjoy!

I think that your parents asked you to do this without really thinking it through–normal guests don’t expect this kind of treatment (closet emptied out, etc.), especially for just one night. A bed and a clean place to put their toothbrush is enough for one night. If they wanted a sterile empty hotel room type environment, they would have stayed at a hotel

So, don’t worry about this and don’t bring it up to your parents. They’re probably really stressed out about their company, so they’re not really thinking straight.
 
Also, for an overnight stay, a guest wouldn’t normally need to hang up clothes in a closet (unless there was an event the next day).
 
Xantippe said:
Also, for an overnight stay, a guest wouldn’t normally need to hang up clothes in a closet (unless there was an event the next day).
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There is an event the next day.
Also I think I will bring it up. I feel extremely guilty and I think I have to make things right. It’s the only way I can sleep and move on.
 
Xantippe said:
Don’t worry about this and don’t bring it up–you’re getting off easy. Enjoy!

I think that your parents asked you to do this without really thinking it through–normal guests don’t expect this kind of treatment (closet emptied out, etc.), especially for just one night. A bed and a clean place to put their toothbrush is enough for one night. If they wanted a sterile empty hotel room type environment, they would have stayed at a hotel

So, don’t worry about this and don’t bring it up to your parents. They’re probably really stressed out about their company, so they’re not really thinking straight.
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I forgot to mention. This isn’t a normal guest. This is a preacher.
 
JCats1 said:
I forgot to mention. This isn’t a normal guest. This is a preacher.
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Ah, that explains it.

I think your room was probably a poor choice, given the amount of prep involved.

Just enjoy being left alone and don’t feel like you have to discuss it. Your parents are probably really stressed out right now.
 
JCats1 said:
There is an event the next day.
Also I think I will bring it up. I feel extremely guilty and I think I have to make things right. It’s the only way I can sleep and move on.
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Don’t do it now! It’s obviously a really bad time. Wait until your company is gone and the event is over.
 
Xantippe said:
I think your room was probably a poor choice, given the amount of prep involved.
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Yes, an odd choice - and one that would probably make the guest feel pretty uncomfortable too. Not only putting someone out like that, but an older male staying in the bedroom of a young lady (don’t know your age OP, but am guessing late teen or early 20s?).

Let it go. Nothing to feel guilty about and nothing to be gained by raising the issue.
 
I don’t think there are any clergy who’d want to cause so much trouble, to be honest. If you were to have cleared out enough of your clothing so anything he’d possibly want to hang would have plenty of room, that would usually be more than sufficient.

(Please tell me your parents were not intending to pretend that your bedroom is actually a full-time guest room, right?)

I agree that clergy would probably rather not put a youngster out of his or her bed if it could be helped, but they would also not want to refuse hospitality from someone with no extra bedrooms to spare and would not expect to be allowed to sleep on the floor in order not to cause trouble. They would not want to insult their hosts. Still, under no circumstances would they want the art pulled down from the walls or major storage upheaval to happen on their account.

No, a clergyman wouldn’t normally choose to take the young woman’s room as his first choice, but between not being hard on the furniture, not smelling like a boy over the age of 12, and perhaps being the only girl (and therefore the only child with a room to herself), she might have the nicest room next to the master. It would not be a surprise to get her room in that case.

Having said all of that, your parents are trying to do a nice thing. Give them a break and say, “Mom, you are only trying to be a great host. I don’t think it is typical to empty a closet for a guest, let alone take art off the walls, but I know you just want everything to be perfect.” Don’t feel too guilty that you balked at emptying your entire closet and had to disturb posters on the walls for a one-night guest, even if it is a priest. (If you have posters he shouldn’t see, maybe you should take them down and not put them back up, LOL!!)
 
The previous replies are correct. If your parents soon forget about it, I wouldn’t worry at all. If they are only a little upset and they talk about it, you should apologize for not obeying them, and let them know that you understand that they wanted to be gracious and generous hosts. If they are very upset and bitter about it, you should perhaps get the advice of a counselor or priest, and feel free to tell us and we will give it some more thought.

I was wondering about this:
JCats1 said:
They think by saying that I put a curse on the house and that God is going to punish us…
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Do your parents tend to be superstitious? Do they really think there may be a curse, or the wrath of God?

Also tell us what country you live in. Different countries have different customs of hospitality and of parental authority.
 
You got off easy. Breathe! Relax.

You sound like someone young and getting into familial arguments is part of being young. I concur, though, that away from NA, these things might have more feeling attached to them.

Just let it go and maybe, once the issue is safely in the past, you could explain to your folks why you felt as you did. NOT while the visit is still ahead, though.

ICXC NIKA
 
I am wondering if your parents want you to take your clothes out of the room because they think the preacher will be embarrassed to be among feminine clothes?

Even (admittedly, a wild thought) they fear that it would be an occasion of sin, and they don’t want to do this to the preacher. I’m not saying that it WOULD be an occasion of sin, but just that your parents are trying to make things as right as possible.
 
It’s fine. Let the preacher have his visit.

It sounds like your parents were a bit stressed out by his coming there. Once he leaves, they will feel better.

Imho: I think if they wanted to have your closet cleared out, they should have given more notice and helped you-but because they are your parents don’t disrespect them. If they bring it up, just tell them that. No harm on being honest. In a nice way, of course.

I can’t understand why your mom got upset with your question–to me that was not disrespectful. Are you allowed to have an opinion about other things? It may be because of the preacher visit, but her reply was a bit extreme.
 
Methinks the “preacher” is coming to visit, and staying in your room for a reason.
Why do they believe there is a “curse” on the place???Pray. That’s all you can do. And obey your parents.
God bless.
 
pianistclare said:
Why do they believe there is a “curse” on the place???
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I would chalk that up to over-reaction due to hosting anxiety. People sometimes get a little nutty when they’re hosting an adult guest, but especially if it is a priest or minister and especially if it is for the first time.

Teens need a pass on emotions often enough that they do well before heaven to give their parents a pass whenever they can. Everyone will seem far more sane when the young adults are out on their own. If not, mercy and kindness towards parents just because they are parents pleases the Lord. If there is ever a time to perform the spiritual act of mercy of bearing wrongs patiently, it is with your parents while you are still living with them. Heaven knows, they are probably reciprocating all of the time!!
 
The thing that seems reasonable is…if your parents had a sofa bed, they could offer their own bedroom for the one night. (My Parents did that) Or at the very least, and can afford it, reserve an inexpensive, clean and sterile hotel room close to your residence. That being said feelings would not be hurt.

I also think that the Pastor would feel uncomfortable outsing you out of your bedroom. Explain that to your parents in a respectful and assertive manner.

Blessings galore!
 
This is the most weird thing I ever read. Is this some sort of back-alley, fortune telling, exorcist or something? Unless it’s the Pope, I would not be clearing out my entire closet for one night! If your parents are normally this weird, I would just chalk it up to their weirdness. If this is an uncharacteristic request from them, I would just be thankful that they let you off and pretend the whole craziness ever happened. PS- If this person actually might put a curse on your house, maybe you should find a place to stay for the night!
 
Allegra said:
This is the most weird thing I ever read. Is this some sort of back-alley, fortune telling, exorcist or something? Unless it’s the Pope, I would not be clearing out my entire closet for one night! If your parents are normally this weird, I would just chalk it up to their weirdness. If this is an uncharacteristic request from them, I would just be thankful that they let you off and pretend the whole craziness ever happened. PS- If this person actually might put a curse on your house, maybe you should find a place to stay for the night!
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Right. That’s why I asked the OP.
But, unfortunately, someone else answered for her. :rolleyes:
 
pianistclare said:
Right. That’s why I asked the OP.
But, unfortunately, someone else answered for her. :rolleyes:
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I kind of doubt the OP’s mom had any idea what that meant, let alone the poor OP! :rolleyes:

(Which of us could withstand a scrutiny of the transcripts of every conversation we’ve ever had with our children, especially with company coming?)
 
EasterJoy said:
I kind of doubt the OP’s mom had any idea what that meant, let alone the poor OP! :rolleyes:

(Which of us could withstand a scrutiny of the transcripts of every conversation we’ve ever had with our children, especially with company coming?)
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Even as a kid, I could generally tell when my mother was letting random BS fly because she was frustrated and when she actually meant something. For example, I didn’t call the police when I was told that if I didn’t shrink a size in one hour so I would fit in the dress she thought I should wear for Christmas dinner she was going bury me with a steak of holly in my heart. It’s possible that the OP is “playing dumb” and pretending she doesn’t know that her mother was kidding about the “curse”, or it’s just as possible that the parents DO think their house is cursed and they’ve ordered an “exorcist” from a catalogue. 🤷 Who knows?
 
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