Do I Have to Tell Others I am Praying?

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Christbearer03

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Do we have to let others know we are praying? I do not like my family to see that I am praying at home; I like to pray in private. But now I feel guilty because someone called while I was praying and asked what I was doing, and I said “Not much.” I feel guilty about trying to hide myself praying, as I do not want them to see. I will have to confess this when I go to confession on Saturday.
 
I have often wondered about this, too. Usually now I just go in my room, lock the door, and pray when I know that no one will bother me. If they do, I just put my prayer book down and go to the door.

Witnessing to your faith is important, but it does feel kind of weird to say, “I was praying.” However, Jesus calls us to witness to Him always. So, just try to work it out. He knows when we are trying and that we fall and fail sometimes, but please, worry not. As Mother Angelica from EWTN always says, “The Lord will take care.”

May God bless you and keep you at peace! 🙂
 
Unless you’re being asked questions in, say, a murder investigation, or you are married and your wife needs to know, you never have an obligation to tell anyone what you’re doing at the moment. Something intimate, like prayer, is clearly your own business. In such cases, an evasive or incomplete answer is both polite, and is giving the person all they have a right to know. (It also avoids the territory of boring someone or giving them too much intimate information that will make them and you feel uncomfortable.)

“What are you doing?” or “What have you been up to?” is a polite social inquiry, simply asking you to make conversation about your day or to make sure that nothing big has happened to you (and that you have time to talk). It is not requesting an exact and complete answer. Nobody wants to hear, “I got out of bed, brushed my teeth, tripped over something, hopped three times before I got my balance, walked 40 feet to the kitchen…”

So “not much” is a response that really says, “I have not had anything outstanding good or bad happen to me, and I can’t think of any doings of mine that will provide a good conversation topic for our small talk.” Your response was truthful. Prayer isn’t a small talk topic.

What’s more, Jesus instructs us:
“And when you pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you shall pray, enter into your chamber, and having shut the door, pray to your Father in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will repay you.” (Matthew 6:5-6)
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That said, sometimes you are called to witness by giving people an example. But you don’t have to do that every five minutes for everyone.

Hope that puts your mind at ease!
 
You could come up with a stock answer that is correlated to praying, such as “oh just counting my blessings.”

Saying “I was praying” can be kind of awkward depending on the relationship with the other person… like it could sound pretentious or maybe you just don’t want to share it.

You don’t owe someone who calls on the phone, any information about what you are doing, other than what you choose to tell them. To say, “not much” is not a wrong answer, because to many people’s way of thinking, it gives them a sense of clearance that they aren’t calling you when you are in the middle of something that can’t be interrupted. And I assume that since you answer your calls during prayer, you don’t mind it.

If you say, “I was just doing the ironing” when in fact you were in silent contemplation, that’s where I have trouble because that would just be making up stuff. Unless I was taking a break from it I might say, “oh on a break from ironing.”

It’s not that I’m ashamed to admit I’m praying; some of my friends know that I consider every breath I take as a prayer and an offering to thanksgiving for my life. So to catch you in “formal prayer” when you wish to be alone, not a problem to skip the details. Or you can tell them. No right or wrong here and no intent to deceive, just your personal preference on what you share with whom about things they don’t actually “need to know.”
 
Mystical_Seeker said:
You could come up with a stock answer that is correlated to praying, such as “oh just counting my blessings.”

Saying “I was praying” can be kind of awkward depending on the relationship with the other person… like it could sound pretentious or maybe you just don’t want to share it.

You don’t owe someone who calls on the phone, any information about what you are doing, other than what you choose to tell them. To say, “not much” is not a wrong answer, because to many people’s way of thinking, it gives them a sense of clearance that they aren’t calling you when you are in the middle of something that can’t be interrupted. **And I assume that since you answer your calls during prayer, you don’t mind it.
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If you say, “I was just doing the ironing” when in fact you were in silent contemplation, that’s where I have trouble because that would just be making up stuff. Unless I was taking a break from it I might say, “oh on a break from ironing.”

It’s not that I’m ashamed to admit I’m praying; some of my friends know that I consider every breath I take as a prayer and an offering to thanksgiving for my life. So to catch you in “formal prayer” when you wish to be alone, not a problem to skip the details. Or you can tell them. No right or wrong here and no intent to deceive, just your personal preference on what you share with whom about things they don’t actually “need to know.”
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I actually do not like answering my calls during prayer, but I do not want anyone to get nervous where I am or wondering what I am doing if I do not answer. But, I really don’t like answering the phone while in prayer. But I do, and then I apologize to Jesus or the Blessed Mother, and I get right back to my prayers. 🙂
 
I understand this. I tend to pray largely in private, with the sole exception of at public meals (such as at restaurants) I have overcome my discomfort of public prayer enough to offer a quick prayer of gratitude and to ask for our Lord’s blessing on the meal. Oh, and praying in Church- but since everyone else is also doing that, I don’t feel uncomfortable about that. I guess I need to work on this, also.
 
Mintaka said:
So “not much” is a response that really says, “I have not had anything outstanding good or bad happen to me, and I can’t think of any doings of mine that will provide a good conversation topic for our small talk.” Your response was truthful. Prayer isn’t a small talk topic.
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I think this is a very, very sensible attitude. 👍

“Feeling guilty” in this context can mean a lot of things, ranging from wanting to improve your approach to things, to being utterly terrified that you’ve committed a mortal sin.

If this thread is asking about the mortal sin aspect, I would again humbly recommend that you get permission from your Confessor to only confess *obvious *mortal sins. Your priest has the authority to do this, and frankly, I think it’s the most fundamental way to actually deal with scrupulosity.

Moreover, since there may be issues of discernment at play here, why don’t you take a look at this:catholicparents.org/oxcart/Examination%20of%20Conscience.pdf. Go to the venial sins section, and see how many of the sins and imperfections that you worry about are listed there. In fact, it might be a good idea to shoot your confessor an email containing this file, and ask him if he would agree with the distinctions found therein, and if you could use this for future discernment. Then, follow his advice, and if you find yourself doing something like driving carelessly or being rather vain, you can be more sure that there is no grave matter there.

👍
 
Good grief… It’s your business , you don’t have to tell anyone. I can’t imagine that there’s anything you would have to confess.

I would just say “I was just taking care of a few things,” then change the subject.
 
I read somewhere that prayer was a private matter and that we should not make an exhibition of it. [Prideful?] When I am in prayer I don’t answer the phone, but then again, I don’t like to answer it much when I am not praying. 😃

When I pray in public, I usually appear to be resting my eyes, or if I am doing something else at the same time, I just deal with interruptions and return back. At home I usually say Im going to take a nap, and I don’t get bothered.

So no, you need not tell anyone. I also liked the “counting my blessings” idea. A good thing to say to a spouse or a family member.
 
captainrick said:
I can’t imagine that there’s anything you would have to confess.
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Some people might feel as if they’ve denied Christ by not being open about praying. Or they may feel as if they’ve acted as if they’re ashamed of their faith, and that this is sinful.

… and frankly, while there might not be sin, per se, in such actions, they’re not perfections either.

I doubt Father Smith has much of a problem admitting to praying, and this is because he knows that people expect him to. As for us, we may have a lot of reluctance to be particularly open about the degree of seriousness with which we practice our faith. And that’s simple human respect and, yes, to be blunt, it’s a form of cowardice.

Being aware of that, while still being able to discern the seriousness of the offense against God, is not always easy in any given scenario. Neither is being able to distinguish between promptings of the Holy Spirit and simple feelings of accusation.
 
InNomineDomini said:
Some people might feel as if they’ve denied Christ by not being open about praying. Or they may feel as if they’ve acted as if they’re ashamed of their faith, and that this is sinful.

… and frankly, while there might not be sin, per se, in such actions, they’re not perfections either.

I doubt Father Smith has much of a problem admitting to praying, and this is because he knows that people expect him to. As for us, we may have a lot of reluctance to be particularly open about the degree of seriousness with which we practice our faith. And that’s simple human respect and, yes, to be blunt, it’s a form of cowardice.

Being aware of that, while still being able to discern the seriousness of the offense against God, is not always easy in any given scenario. Neither is being able to distinguish between promptings of the Holy Spirit and simple feelings of accusation.
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If they feel this way, they should be concerned about scruples. It is a sickness, not a blessing, to be overly concerned with sinning in this way. You do NOT owe anybody who calls and says “what are you doing” a complete rundown of your last three activities over the previous hour. If you think you do, and if failing to say you are praying feels like denying God, then IMO you need to learn about the sabbath being made for man, not man for the sabbath. When I become a slave to my prayers, or have to explain it to anyone who isn’t standing over me with a sword or gun and doesn’t even know me much less do I know what they think about God and prayer, then it is not setting me free but instead is setting a trap.
 
I don’t know why a person would want to hide the fact he was praying
Luke 9:26
Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.
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Mark 8:38
If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.
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Matthew 10:32
Whoever acknowledges me before others, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven.
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MtnDwellar said:
I don’t know why a person would want to hide the fact he was praying
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Mark 8 Verse 38 is the line that scares me so much. That is why I feel I have to confess this. I am coming close to crying again. 😦
 
If I’m going to the bathroom and someone calls, do I owe them an explanation of precisely what I was doing at the moment the phone rang? Do I need to tell them how long I’ve been in there? Or that I’m in there now while answering the phone?

Or how about making love to your spouse? Prayer is a kind of intimacy between lovers, especially when you like to do it alone. If you were just in bed doing that, do you owe a phone caller an explanation of what you were doing the moment the phone rang?

If not, then nor do I owe them an explanation of what I was doing when I was praying.

Unless you’re ashamed that you go to the bathroom or (if married) make love to your spouse, in which case you may have a problem.

Quit letting people give you the impression that NOT TALKING ABOUT GOD AND TELLING OTHERS HOW AND WHEN YOU PRAY is the same as BEING ASHAMED OF GOD.

They are DIFFERENT THINGS.

If a person calls me and says, “hey I bet you were praying weren’t you,” and you say, “oh no what would make you think I’d want to pray I never pray” then maybe you’d have a case. That would be denying your prayer.

If you want something to be afraid about, be afraid of all this fear that you are undergoing because you have bought into a lie that not making your prayers public – even though Jesus SPECIFICALLY told us NOT TO – because that is not about being ashamed of the Lord. That’s about being ashamed or glorified in front of other people.

Jesus said do not pray in public like the hypocrites do. A hypocrite would be delighted to answer the phone and say, “what was I doing? Tee hee! I was praying to the Lord my God, like I always do for three hours a day. What were you doing?”

St. Paul even talks in 1 Cor 9 about holding his own beliefs in check so that he may enter into places with unbelievers and win them over before turning them off. I guess he was “ashamed” to admit to knowing Jesus, too?

Let’s quit throwing scary passages at each other and start trusting that Jesus didn’t come here to set traps for the faithful to accidentally fall into. It takes a lot of imagination to think that Jesus ever endorsed either praying in public, or having to make public disclosure of our prayers to Him.
 
Christbearer03 said:
I will have to confess this when I go to confession on Saturday.
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I think you are being overly scrupulous with this. I think Matthew 6 discuses how you should pray, and I think you are fine with praying in private. My family knows when I pray. I normally don’t go telling them, but they know at two different times each day, I go to pray.

Pax,

John
 
Mystical_Seeker said:
If I’m going to the bathroom and someone calls, do I owe them an explanation of precisely what I was doing at the moment the phone rang? Do I need to tell them how long I’ve been in there? Or that I’m in there now while answering the phone?

Or how about making love to your spouse? Prayer is a kind of intimacy between lovers, especially when you like to do it alone. If you were just in bed doing that, do you owe a phone caller an explanation of what you were doing the moment the phone rang?

If not, then nor do I owe them an explanation of what I was doing when I was praying.

Unless you’re ashamed that you go to the bathroom or (if married) make love to your spouse, in which case you may have a problem.

Quit letting people give you the impression that NOT TALKING ABOUT GOD AND TELLING OTHERS HOW AND WHEN YOU PRAY is the same as BEING ASHAMED OF GOD.

They are DIFFERENT THINGS.

If a person calls me and says, “hey I bet you were praying weren’t you,” and you say, “oh no what would make you think I’d want to pray I never pray” then maybe you’d have a case. That would be denying your prayer.

If you want something to be afraid about, be afraid of all this fear that you are undergoing because you have bought into a lie that not making your prayers public – even though Jesus SPECIFICALLY told us NOT TO – because that is not about being ashamed of the Lord. That’s about being ashamed or glorified in front of other people.

Jesus said do not pray in public like the hypocrites do. A hypocrite would be delighted to answer the phone and say, “what was I doing? Tee hee! I was praying to the Lord my God, like I always do for three hours a day. What were you doing?”

St. Paul even talks in 1 Cor 9 about holding his own beliefs in check so that he may enter into places with unbelievers and win them over before turning them off. I guess he was “ashamed” to admit to knowing Jesus, too?

Let’s quit throwing scary passages at each other and start trusting that Jesus didn’t come here to set traps for the faithful to accidentally fall into. It takes a lot of imagination to think that Jesus ever endorsed either praying in public, or having to make public disclosure of our prayers to Him.
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Thank you. I totally agree with what you are saying, and they are two different things.
 
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