Do I need to confess past sin to potential husband

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Don’t tell.

Telling is just as likely to lead to, “What else haven’t you told me?” , and you will probably never convince him that there wasn’t anything else.
 
on_the_hill said:
Don’t tell.

Telling is just as likely to lead to, “What else haven’t you told me?” , and you will probably never convince him that there wasn’t anything else.
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Finding out in any other way would definitely lead to that.
 
It seems unlikely. She said it was in college several years ago. Presumably the other girl isn’t someone she stays in contact with or is likely to run into unless everyone still lives in the same town (and it’s a small town). If this was a one time encounter after too many wine coolers, I don’t see how he’ll find out.
 
I guess you’d have to balance out the risk of it happening. If the other person involved is still around, if friends who might know are still around, etc.
 
BoomBoomMancini said:
It seems unlikely. She said it was in college several years ago. Presumably the other girl isn’t someone she stays in contact with or is likely to run into unless everyone still lives in the same town (and it’s a small town). If this was a one time encounter after too many wine coolers, I don’t see how he’ll find out.
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You never know what might happen especially if the OP or her boyfriend are on social media.

I know the last thing I’d want would be to be terrified of him finding out.
 
The priest was right. You ARE forgiven and should be confident in that, however I’m all about complete honesty so, since it’s still upsetting you, I’d tell the boyfriend. I agree with a couple other posters that it won’t be a big deal to him at all.
 
@Silence
This feeling of unworthiness you have strikes me (and apparently others, too) as significantly concerning. You owe it to yourself to address that, both for the sake of your potential marriage and for your own wellbeing. This in itself could potentially be seen as an impediment to a valid marriage, moreso even than any past sin/action you’ve already confessed.
 
Sometimes, complete honesty might just be narcissism in disguise. You have to know every single thing about me, every mistake I’ve ever made. Let me tell you everything. Pay close attention. This is my life.

But I don’t think that’s necessary or healthy.
 
FloridaCatholic said:
In today’s culture, it’s wayyyy more likely that a woman has had an experience with another woman.
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That’s a big assumption. It’s more that girl on girl is more accepted by men in our culture, as long as they get to watch (which doesn’t mean every man likes it or a man wants his wife-to-be doing it). When it’s a guy experimenting with another guy, and then deciding it’s not for him, he will likely not be telling a soul except maybe a trustworthy woman or two in his life. Most guys would never want anyone to know. It does happen more frequently than most guys would like to think about.
 
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I don’t think so. It’s pretty safe to say more women have had a same sex experience than men have. You’re right about less men about open about it, but because of the taboo it makes sense that less men would also have not even tried it
 
How do you know it’s “safe to say this”? Do you have a source to cite?
Sounds more like you just can’t believe men (often young, often drunk ) might try a little gay sex.
 
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I do believe some men try. But I believe more women try.
 
No. This is the devil who as we know does the opposite to what Jesus does. Jesus forgives and forgets. The devil desires that this mistake still remain as an influence in one’s life. Put it past you.

What one should remember is the lesson learned, you clearly have the right attitude. Move on, and take it as a lesson learned. Everyone has a past, and what Christ forgives no one has the right to call to justice.
 
My late wife told me that she had been sexually molested by one of her brothers when she was not even in her teens…he was quite a few years older…we had been married for around 25 years before she told me…that had occurred quite a few years before we had even met…in all the years we were married there was never any animosity towards her brother…whether he had ever apologized…I don’t know and never asked her anything about what had happened when she did tell me…I guess for some reason she wanted me to know…I never pushed her for more…I told her I was sorry it had happened to her…she said that’s ok she just wanted me to know…if she hadn’t told me I wouldn’t have been any wiser…and we both never mentioned it again…and I never even gave it another thought after she had explained it to me…that’s what she expected…so personally I think your “experimenting” when young is much less than sexual molestation…you have been forgiven…it’s over and done…move on with your life…you don’t have to explain to anyone…God bless
 
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Maybe I’m just jaded but I just don’t see it as a huge deal. Presumably it didn’t overlap with her involvement with her fiancé, so it’s kind of a big nothing-burger in my eyes. Like I said, I think it might relevant for him only if she has a deep seated, long term same sex attraction, but this sounds like one time drunken experimentation. It’s just kinda…meh.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
Sounds more like you just can’t believe men (often young, often drunk ) might try a little gay sex.
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My wife seems to hold an opinion similar to this.

(My firm position is that a man who ‘experimented,’ even once, is not entirely heterosexual. She vehemently disagrees that a person can be labeled and held accountable as such. Thus it is not a topic open for discussion.)
 
Theres a reason why the sacrament of Penance is anonymous. Its between you and God.
Its from the past, Its done and dusted. Forget about it and move on with planning your future.
 
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