Do I need to go to confession?

[coachkfan1]

Mortal or venal we all need to be receiving the sacrament of reconciliation on a regular basis. ALL sin hurts our relationship with God, so why would we not take advantage of the sacraments when we can.

 

[superamazingman]

Well, changing the subject a bit, every Saturday I see 5 or 6 people at confession but I see hundreds at Mass. Now THAT is something to ask about.

That is a problem.

 

[CB_Catholic]

Well, changing the subject a bit, every Saturday I see 5 or 6 people at confession but I see hundreds at Mass. Now THAT is something to ask about.

I personally would like to see thousands of people at Mass in my parish. THAT would be something.

 

[g_ncl]

one of the Ushers that was there said to me something along the lines of “Again!”. He then said, “Are you doing the same thing every week! Is that why you are coming?”.

I find this absolutely shocking.

We don’t know the usher’s tone of voice, we weren’t there. It could have just been a clumsy attempt at humour.

I am sorry but I find this, as a joke, even more distasteful.

OP, I would do 2 things: one, go to confession and do not worry about the frequency unless the priest says something regarding this. The usher is no factor in this. Two: I would tell the priest what happened (not in confession, so he can do something about the usher - he would be forbidden to act if you told him in confession) and also tell him that the usher’s comment gave you doubts about going to confession.

 

[dje101]

Hi all thank you for your feedback!
I appreciate the feedback. The reason I asked this question is because I started going to confession weekly, about 4 to 5 months ago and loved to. One week I went, and one of the Ushers that was there said to me something along the lines of “Again!”. He then said, “Are you doing the same thing every week! Is that why you are coming?”. And I thought about why he would say that to me. Then I also started to think unless I commit the mortal sins then I don’t have to go to confession. That is why I asked this question. But I would like to let all of you know I appreciate you information. Reading what most of you said, lets me realize that it is a good thing if I like to go to confession every week. So thank you for all your answer and I’m going to look over them again to better understand mortal and venial sins.
God Bless!

That’s pretty shocking and rude of them. You are not alone in going to confession every week. I generally go every week. Sometimes it is for the same stupid mistake over again, but many times it is also because I want to be reconciled with Christ before I receive the Eucharist, even from venial sins. There have been some times in the past when I thought, “should I receive or not?” because of something I did and I wasn’t quite sure if it was a mortal sin or not. I don’t really like that feeling, so I try to go every week, if not, every two weeks. Plus, I think is was JPII that went at least once a week. So if HE was going every week, then I probably should have been in there daily!

 

[englishredrose]

Well, changing the subject a bit, every Saturday I see 5 or 6 people at confession but I see hundreds at Mass. Now THAT is something to ask about./QUOTE

Now that depends on how judgemental we are or how understanding we are.

I’m Anglican as many of you like to keep telling me But if I was Catholic you would never see me in a Confessional queue for I’m quite reserved etc. Since going to Church from 15 year old and I’m now 44 I have been attending Anglican Confession all my life. But all the priests have been very understanding and I go when no one is around and have always made the appointments when I know no one is around. But from your own judgmental stance that you haven’t seen ‘me’ in the queue, does that mean I don’t go?

I got caught out this last year by trying to book it before a Mass for the first time with this priest no one else showed up for the Mass.The second time someone turned up early and luckily the priest had the thought to vacate to the vestry to make things that bit more privacy. Though my sin in the priests’ opinion wasn’t a sin that time but I knew its history etc. That person who arrived early came and walked into the vestry, knocking first but. Put me off in trying before Mass again… But judging from your judgement, the fact that people aren’t in the queue, you automically, not even assume but think you know that they do not go at all?

Besides which, it really is none of anyone else’s businesses whether or not another goes to confession. Okay so you guys got rules about it but it is still not ‘your’ business to question what is on another persons heart. I wonder what is the purpose for wondering about where are these non attendees.

Peace be with you:thumbsup:

 

[catlady43]

I also have a question about confession.
I have not been since April because I don’t know what to confess. I have not committed any ‘obvious’ sins, and yet I understand that to be human is to be a sinner.
What should I do?

 

[Vico]

I also have a question about confession.
I have not been since April because I don’t know what to confess. I have not committed any ‘obvious’ sins, and yet I understand that to be human is to be a sinner.
What should I do?

You can confess a venial sin, mentioning a related mortal of kind from the past, so you will have proper contrition. But there are many possible venial sins (not a deliberate lack of charity towards God), some of which are:

Scandal (bad example intentionally or unintentionally leading another to sin due to their weakness and your example even with something that is not wrong for you)

Failure to Pray Daily
Failure to accept that each person is personally responsible for his own sins
Failure to accept that Hell is real
Failure to accept that Our Merciful God allows must people to go to Hell
Not Loving God with your Whole Heart, Mind, Soul, and Strength
Tempting God
Trying to Control Things, rather than Seeking God Will
Entertaining Thoughts Against the Faith
Failure to Learn about the Teachings of the Church
Failure (Not Seriously) to Fulfill the Duties of one’s State in Life
Playing Dungeons and Dragons, or similar games
Indifference or Ingratitude towards God
Not Trusting God
Having a Lukewarm Relationship with God
Caring more about what others think, rather than what God thinks
Not trying to grow Spiritually, and settling for mediocrity
Acedia (Spiritual Sloth or Laziness
Being Angry at God
Giving in to Depression or Self-Pity
Being Embarrassed at being a Catholic
Failure to Examine one’s Conscience Daily
Failure to Accept Unconditionally the True Teachings of the Catholic Church
Failure to Pray when Tempted
Disparaged the Church because of the recent sex scandals and cover-up
Failure to Defend the Church when it’s being Ridiculed
Not trying to Practice frequent Remembrance of God’s Presence
Failure to support the Church Financially
Failure to Support the Church by Volunteering tour Time or Skills
Refusing or Denying the Mercy of God
When voting, fail to consider the Moral standings of Politicians
Failure to Accept Suffering
Failure to Offer-Up Suffering
Putting Off Confession needlessly
Being willfully Distracted at Mass
Being willfully Distracted during Prayer
Failure to Evangelize
Attended a Catholic/non-Catholic Wedding in a non-approved setting
Attended a Wedding for a Divorcee before the death of the first spouse
Being Angry at God
Ashamed to Bless Yourself, before Grace, when eating out in public
Fail to genuflect (bend one knee) before entering the Church pew
Failure to bow, remove your hat, or Bless Yourself, etc, when passing a Church
Fail to genuflect at the name of Jesus
Cursing thoughtlessly
Using the Lord’s Name in surprise, or anger (without thinking or habitually)
Irreverent, Improper, or Inappropriate use of Scripture
Vulgar or Inappropriate Language
Speaking Badly about the Church
Using the names of Saints, the Blessed Mother, or the Pope Irreverently
Telling Irreverent Jokes about Sacred Persons, or Objects
Doing Limited Non-Essential Labor on Sunday
Arriving Late to Mass, or Leaving Early, without good reason
Failure to Pay Attention, or Participate at Mass
Being Irreverent at Church
Failure to spend extra time on Sunday in Study of the Faith, or Prayer
Failure to reserve Sunday for Family or Recreation
Allowing Sports or other schedules to dictate the Sunday schedule
Desecrating Sunday or a Holy Day of Obligation by Sinful Amusements, or Inappropriate Entertainment, Keeping Bad Company, or Impure Thoughts
Fighting with Brothers, Sisters, or Relatives
Non-serious Disobedience to parents or those in authority
Making Fun of the Handicapped or Elderly
Failure to Help the Elderly or Handicapped
Not Praying for those Entrusted to Your Care
Not Praying for those in Authority over you (Parents, Teachers, Employers, etc.)
Being Too Strict with Rules, Boundaries, and Discipline
Being Too Lax with Rules, Boundaries, and Discipline
Failure to properly Respect Parents or Authorities
Feeling Ashamed of or Embarrassed about your parents
Lack of Gratitude toward your parents
Not trying to Cultivate Peace in your family
Failing to be a Good Example to your family
Meddling in the Affairs of Married Children
Treating Adult Children like Minors
Spoiled or Pampered your children, instead of giving them attention & affection
Nagging your Spouse or Children
Failed to lead your children to Mass, Communion and Confession
Treating those under your authority Disrespectfully
Breaking Just Civil Laws without serious reason
Taking advantage of others for your own selfish purposes
Taking one’s Spouse for Granted
Hired others for the care of your children, without good cause
Failure to Teach your Children Adequately about God, or their Spiritual Life
Failure to spend significant quality time with your children
Has your wife unnecessarily taken employment away from home, and children?
To a lesser degree: Pride, Boasting or Arrogance
Preference for Designer Label Clothes
Failure to accept that a fetus, from conception onward, is a real human person
Vanity
Stubbornness without good reason
Listening to Bad Music
Selfishness
Unnecessarily risked your life or the life of another
Wishing Evil Upon another
Seeking Revenge or Retaliation
Harboring a Grudge
Prejudice
Using Obscene or Vulgar Gestures
Anger
Fighting or Arguing over slight matters
Rudeness
Failure to Apologize
Excessive Watching of Television
Excessive playing of Computer Games
Watching Television, Movies, or DVD’s that promote Sex or Violence
Playing Computer Games that promote Sex or Violence
Excessive use of the Internet
Failure to Pray for Sinners
Using the silent treatment on others
Failure to Pray for Deceased Parents or Relatives
Violating Friendships
Willfully doing things to others to Anger them
Failure to take Required Medications
Abusing your Medications
Treating others Unjustly
Habitual Lack of Punctuality

 

[Vico]

Procrastination
Failure to Respect the Dignity of Yourself
Failure to Respect the Dignity of others
Laziness
Smoking or Chewing Tobacco
Failure to Care for one’s Health
Driving Carelessly
Driving while Intoxicated
Intemperance (Overeating or Drinking Too Much)
Refusing to Forgive Another
Lack of Custody of the Eyes (Looking Inappropriately at others)
Keeping Bad Company
After encountering Immorality, failed to request a refund, or cancel a subscription
Selfishness in Marital Intimacy
Seeking Wrongful Attention from another
Failure to Respect Persons of the opposite sex
Treating others as Objects
Acting Immodestly, or Carrying oneself Immodestly
Dressing somewhat Immodestly
Allowing your heart to Stray from your spouse
Wasting Time
Failure to Pay Debts Promptly
Failure to Practice Charity, or to Help the Poor
Willful Failure to Return Borrowed Items
Theft of small or inexpensive items
Attachments to persons or things
Failure to keep a promise
Squandering Money on needless items or pursuits
Gossiping
Lying
Spreading Rumors
Talking behind another’s back
Making Rash Judgments
Being Unjustly Suspicious
Being Negative, Critical, or Uncharitable in thought, about others
Failing to Restore the Good Name of others you’ve Injured Verbally
Cheating at Games or School Work, etc.
Flattery
Bragging or Boasting
Speaking Unkindly to, or about others
Exaggerating the Truth
Complaining, whining, or Seeking Attention
Looking at Immodest Pictures or persons
Playing with Temptation, or Curiosity about Temptation
Not trying to Control your Imagination
Brief Entertainment of Impure Thoughts, or Fantasies
Telling or Listening to Impure or Vulgar Jokes or Stories
Sadness or Anger at the Good Fortune of Another (Mild Envy)
Desire for the Goods of Another (Mild Jealousy)
Failure to distance yourself from the world’s wealth (Mild Greed)
Materialism
Not Trusting that God will provide All Material and Spiritual Needs
Attachments to Riches or Material Goods

 

[catlady43]

Wow! Thank you so much. You have been very thorough and have given me several ideas I will be able to use.
I appreciate the time you’ve spent in responding to my plea.
Leslie

 

[paperwight66]

Personally i don’t smoke, and think smoking is disgusting.

But a sin???

 

[Vico]

Personally i don’t smoke, and think smoking is disgusting.

But a sin???

Not taking proper care of the body is harmful to yourself and others that you care for. It is a failing. Remember that this is to be considered for common fault (less grevious sins).

 

[nute]

Hello all!
For some strange reason Im having a difficult time understanding if the sins I have committed within this past week are Mortal or venial. The only sins I have committed are… But I am curious are these sins I need to go to confession for?
Thank you.

Out of respect, I have removed what appear to be sins since these should be between you and your confessor only unless you are instructed otherwise.

It is embarassing to confess the same sins more than once a month. It is embarrassing to confess the same sins every month or every other month. As you get stronger, chances are that you will confess the same sins with less frequency.

Remember, in confession the sins that are remembered and those that are forgotten are forgiven.

Confession works when we are afraid of hell or we regret offending God. There are two levels of contrition, holy fear of hell is enough on it’s own to receive graces from God. If you are at a point in your spiritual life where you are sorry that you have offended God, great! thumbsup:

The sacrament of confession makes you stronger every time you go. The sinful tendencies you have have less pull on you afterwards, especially if you attempt
to help yourself get away from the near occasions of sin.

Mortal sin is a three pronged deal:

1 The matter must be serious enough to cause spiritual death.

2 There must be full consent of the will.

3 There must be full knowledge of the nature of the sin and you have to actually commit it.

Depression and anxiety can mitigate number two so long as you actively become aware of this and work on overcoming it. (Get professional help if you are an addict of any kind).
Part of beating a recurring sin is determining what is driving you to it and addressing that.
Lust is one of the capital sins which I’d say most young men, myself included, struggle with, especially in today’s culture. There is a scale for lust. One is not responsible for lustful dreams that are not wanted. There are seven capital sins, sins that can cause spiritual death. Lust is not always sexual, one can lust after someone else’s goods or possessions.

Confession of venial sins is required at Christmas and at Easter, or near those holy days.
Confession of mortal sin is an ASAP deal. Mortal and venial sin is discussed in the Catechism of the Catholic Church and please correct me if I got one of the three prongs wrong

Use the Ten Commandments to examine your conscience and the Two Commandment summary as well.

Okay, the seven capital sins are: (I didn’t remember the last four)

Lust, Gluttony, Idolatry, Pride, Greed, Sloth, and Envy.

aquinasandmore.com/catholic-articles/the-seven-capital-sins/article/252

Hope this helps you.

 

[nute]

giving in to depression or self pity…

Careful, clinical depression affects the will. Depression is a disease that causes a person
to think more about what is wrong or what they perceive to be wrong than what is right and good in their life. I can’t imagine anyone willingly becoming depressed. Being depressed or struggling with self pity is not a sin, it is a life threatening condition though in some cases. Despair is a sin, perhaps you were thinking of despair instead.

As far as playing Dungeons and Dragons being sinful, what is Dungeons and Dragons?
Actually, I don’t want to know.

Yoga can be considered sinful, but if you reject practicing it as a spiritual exercise and use some of the positions that seem to be good health wise, I don’t see the sin in that.

Failing to show reverence when passing a church…
Show reverence inside the church for certain, but outside as you are driving by it???

One can confess that they don’t know what to confess, at which point the priest may have suggestions that help the penitent figure out what to confess.

The original OP is having difficulty determining what is venial and what is mortal, simple suggestions to help him are highly recommend over suggestions that are overly long and possibly have errors.

 

[paperwight66]

.

Confession of venial sins is required at Christmas and at Easter, or near those holy days.
,.

Where on earth did you get that from? Confession of venial sins is never ‘required’, if by that you mean the Church requires it. But of course, highly recommended.

 

[maryjk]

Not genuflecting at the name of Jesus??

Really?

Failure to bow, remove your hat, or Bless Yourself, etc, when passing a Church???

Sorry, that might be a nice personal devotion, but where in the CCC are we told that we are suppose to be doing this?

Fighting with Brothers, Sisters, or Relatives??

Playing Dungeons and Dragons, or similar games?? Okay this on the list tells us where you are coming from.

 

[buc_fan33]

I haven’t read this entire thread. I’ve more or less just skimmed it, but I would like to make a couple of points.

First of all, we need to be very careful with scrupulosity. While I certainly encourage frequent confession (I typically recommend to my penitents that they go at least once a month if they are not already in the habit of doing so, and more is even better) there is a point, I’m convinced, where one begins to fear that EVERYTHING is sinful, and some even begin to believe that everything is mortally sinful. The fact of the matter is that it is not. While some things are objectively grave matter, to the best of my knowledge, the Church has never published anything specifically outlining which sins ARE grave matter. If anyone is aware of anything like this, as a confessor I would be very grateful to see it (and yes, I went to a faithful, good seminary).

Furthermore, while something may objectively be grave matter, subjectively, it may not be a mortal sin. Especially in the case of addiction, the acquired force of habit may sufficiently reduce a person’s culpability to the point where said sin is not a mortal sin for that individual person. In other cases, many people are unaware, for instance, that missing Mass on a Holy Day of Obligation is objectively grave matter. It falls to us to catechize them.

Finally, I’ve read in a couple of places that if a penitent cannot think of any sin, then he or she could just confess a past sin so as to give the priest sufficient matter to absolve. As a priest, this strikes me as wrong on a couple of levels. First, if that sin had already been confessed, then it has already been absolved. It doesn’t seem to me that you can absolve the same sin twice, just like I can’t consecrate the same host twice. Once a host is consecrated, it’s Jesus. You don’t reconsecrate it. You don’t rebaptize, or reconfirm, or reordain. You don’t keep administing the sacrament of Anointing of the Sick unless the person’s condition worsens. Likewise, it seems to me that you don’t absolve the same sin twice. Obviously, there is the tradition of a general confession, but that seems to me to be a different matter.

I think encouraging someone to confess the same sin again leads to scrupulosity and it may even in itself be the sin of despair if the person did not believe that the sin was already forgiven. God does not want us to dwell on our sins, but to be free of them. If someone can’t think of any sin to confess, as a priest, I would first ask that person what his or her secret is, and second, help him or her make a more integral examination of conscience.

I know there are great saints who have seemingly progressed to the point of not committing sin. But, they are few and far between. And, if one has gotten to that point, his humility would almost certainly be such that he could never acknowledge it.

 

[Vico]

Not genuflecting at the name of Jesus??

Really?

Failure to bow, remove your hat, or Bless Yourself, etc, when passing a Church???

Sorry, that might be a nice personal devotion, but where in the CCC are we told that we are suppose to be doing this?

Fighting with Brothers, Sisters, or Relatives??

Playing Dungeons and Dragons, or similar games?? Okay this on the list tells us where you are coming from.

It is possible for a particular instance of a D&D game where the role modeling has a negative moral effect. If is an imperfection that we do not respect the Church, such as in passing them. Fighting is most negative. I have know brothers that ripped hair out of the scalp fighting. Sometimes the impulses are checked when recognized, so fall short or mortal. Remember this is a venial sin list. You think people are not sinning in those ways?

 

[maryjk]

It is possible for a particular instance of a D&D game where the role modeling has a negative moral effect. If is an imperfection that we do not respect the Church, such as in passing them. Fighting is most negative. I have know brothers that ripped hair out of the scalp fighting. Sometimes the impulses are checked when recognized, so fall short or mortal. Remember this is a venial sin list. You think people are not sinning in those ways?

Fighting with your brother or sister, no, not a sin. Pulling your sister’s hair out, totally different.

Not genuflecting when passing a Catholic church, no, not a sin. Not respecting the Catholic church, totally different.

Playing D&D, not a sin. One possible particular instance? Really?

 

[Vico]

Fighting with your brother or sister, no, not a sin. Pulling your sister’s hair out, totally different.

Not genuflecting when passing a Catholic church, no, not a sin. Not respecting the Catholic church, totally different.

Playing D&D, not a sin. One possible particular instance? Really?

Anything which is a serious sin, when committed inadvertently, is a less serious sin. That is why fighting with siblings, for example, is a sin. The basis of sin is lack of charity.