Do I need to tell them not to receive Eucharist?

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My sister does not go to mass really anymore unless my mom makes her (it’s been a while since she has). My mom, however, does go to mass every week, except she didn’t when she went to Puerto Rico and in the past has missed some masses and holy days of obligation. Do I need to tell them not to receive Eucharist or should i just let them choose? Every time this question pops up (not so often anymore) when going to church with my mom I tell myself I don’t need to because this thought was all started by scrupulosity, and scrupulosity is nagging a bit at me again. Both of them have been to a catholic grade school and high school, but I don’t know if they were ever taught that. I don’t really know what either of them know about faith.

Thanks for your answers
 
If someone does not have a valid reason for missing Mass they MUST go to Confession before they present themselves to receive the Blessed Sacrament.

From the Catholic Encyclopedia:
That Holy Communion may be received not only validly, but also fruitfully, certain dispositions both of body and of soul are required. For the former, a person must be fasting from the previous midnight from everything in the nature of food or drink. The general exception to this rule is the Viaticum, and, within certain limits, communion of the sick. In addition to the fast it is recommend with a view to greater worthiness, to observe bodily continence and exterior modesty in dress and appearance. The principal disposition of soul required is freedom from at least mortal sin and ecclesiastical censure. For those in a state of grievous sin confession is necessary. This is the proving oneself referred to by St. Paul (1 Corinthians 11:28). The only case in which one in grievous sin might dispense with confession and rest in content with perfect contrition, or perfect charity is when on one hand confession here and now is morally speaking impossible, and where, on the other a real necessity of communication exists.
 
I know this but I don’t know if they know this.
What I mean is that should I tell them they need to refrain?
 
catholicboy2 said:
My sister does not go to mass really anymore unless my mom makes her (it’s been a while since she has). My mom, however, does go to mass every week, except she didn’t when she went to Puerto Rico and in the past has missed some masses and holy days of obligation. Do I need to tell them not to receive Eucharist or should i just let them choose? Every time this question pops up (not so often anymore) when going to church with my mom I tell myself I don’t need to because this thought was all started by scrupulosity, and scrupulosity is nagging a bit at me again. Both of them have been to a catholic grade school and high school, but I don’t know if they were ever taught that. I don’t really know what either of them know about faith.

Thanks for your answers
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if the shoe were on the other foot how would you appreciate your sister and your mother questioning you every time you go to communion? You are not their parent, nor are they your minor children under your guidance. You are speaking of matter (possible) for confession which is between them, their conscience and their priest. MYOB and work on your own spiritual health.
 
puzzleannie said:
if the shoe were on the other foot how would you appreciate your sister and your mother questioning you every time you go to communion? You are not their parent, nor are they your minor children under your guidance. You are speaking of matter (possible) for confession which is between them, their conscience and their priest. MYOB and work on your own spiritual health.
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I actually don’t believe this is the correct way to go. We are instructed by Sacred Scripture that we should inform others when they are in a state of sinfulness so that we may ‘bring back their soul’ (paraphrase of James 5: 19-20). Being that they are your mother and sister, I’m sure you know best the manner in which to approach them, whether it is a comment about going to Confession so they can receive the Holy Eucharist, or whether it is more confrontational about specific mortal sins.

The most important thing to remember is that you must hate the sin, not the sinner. These are your close relatives, and you should do what you can to ensure their salvation as well as yours!
 
puzzleannie said:
if the shoe were on the other foot how would you appreciate your sister and your mother questioning you every time you go to communion? You are not their parent, nor are they your minor children under your guidance. You are speaking of matter (possible) for confession which is between them, their conscience and their priest. MYOB and work on your own spiritual health.
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i agree with this sort of, i would remind them of the law, but after reminding them once, i would leave it at that because like you said they are not her children.
 
Well, I do remember writing my sister a note about a year ago when we were at my grandma’s telling her about not receiving Eucharist in state of mortal sin, and she never mentioned it at all (I said in the note she didn’t need to mention it); but yet she has missed mass (she was living and still living in the college dorms, and I’m very sure she never bothered to look for church) and the next time she went because my mom made her, she received Eucharist as if normally.
I don’t know, should I tell her again?
 
catholicboy2 said:
Well, I do remember writing my sister a note about a year ago when we were at my grandma’s telling her about not receiving Eucharist in state of mortal sin, and she never mentioned it at all (I said in the note she didn’t need to mention it); but yet she has missed mass (she was living and still living in the college dorms, and I’m very sure she never bothered to look for church) and the next time she went because my mom made her, she received Eucharist as if normally.
I don’t know, should I tell her again?
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If you have told her once, I doubt a second time will change her. I recall that St Ambrose told Saint Monica, it regard to Saint Augustine, “Madam, you must talk to God about your son more and to your son about God less.” Once you have made the point, prayer is going to be more effective than nagging. 😉
 
well thanks to all for replying. I sort of mentioned it to my mom (though still saying receiving in mortal sin is wrong) and she just told me to stop worrying so much about her. (haha could be she already went to confession but i really dont know at all what she did or is going to do).
 
Under certain circumstances, we have an obligation to instruct the ignorant or to admonish the sinner. This is especially true with those of our own family. When it is a grave matter, especially here, where it touches on the sacrilege and desecration of the Blessed Sacrament (a desecration far worse than the physical abuse of the sacred species but even an attempt to unite a soul in a state of sin to our Immaculate Saviour present in the Blessed Sacrament), that obligation is much stricter. In general, we must inform these people of the truth. If they are ignorant of the matter, we have the obligation to instruct them of their duty. If they know their fault yet persist in sin, we still have an obligation to admonish the sinner. I hope you will pray about the most fruitful way to address the situation and take action as soon as possible.
 
IntegraCatholic said:
Under certain circumstances, we have an obligation to instruct the ignorant or to admonish the sinner. This is especially true with those of our own family. When it is a grave matter, especially here, where it touches on the sacrilege and desecration of the Blessed Sacrament (a desecration far worse than the physical abuse of the sacred species but even an attempt to unite a soul in a state of sin to our Immaculate Saviour present in the Blessed Sacrament), that obligation is much stricter. In general, we must inform these people of the truth. If they are ignorant of the matter, we have the obligation to instruct them of their duty. If they know their fault yet persist in sin, we still have an obligation to admonish the sinner. I hope you will pray about the most fruitful way to address the situation and take action as soon as possible.
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Does that mean even after I told them about it and if they do nothing different, I need to tell them again? I don’t know if either of them have really gone to confession, but I can say with 80-90% certainty that they haven’t.
 
You don’t need to keep telling them. You have done what you can. If they were under your care (your mother certainly isn’t, and your sister is under your mother’s care), your responsibility would be greater. It’s not your job to raise your sister or your mother.

The best thing to do now is pray for them and give them good example. Continuing to nag is unseemly and may have an adverse effect.

Betsy
 
This is probably not the case, but I am continually amazed at how many Catholics do not realize that missing Mass is grave matter. Like others have said, they are responsible for their own actions, however, we are also supposed to be “our brothers keepers” too. I suggest praying for guidance. Yes, they are not your “responsibiltiy” but, it is their eternal souls that we are talking about. Choose what ever method is most likely going to help them. God bless, I’ll be praying for you =)
 
puzzleannie said:
if the shoe were on the other foot how would you appreciate your sister and your mother questioning you every time you go to communion? You are not their parent, nor are they your minor children under your guidance. You are speaking of matter (possible) for confession which is between them, their conscience and their priest. MYOB and work on your own spiritual health.
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when it comes to this case, I wouldn’t completely MMOB (mind my own business).
I would remind them that we receiving Holy Communion in a state of mortal sin is a sacrilege, and that missing mass deliberately is a grave matter. (I won’t say is mortal sin because they might not know it’s “grave matter”).

come on, it is a sacrilege that we are talking about. Someone taking The Body lightly. It is not the matter of Holier-than-thou. It is taking the The Body of our Lord seriously.
and it is about their souls too.
 
catholicboy2 said:
Does that mean even after I told them about it and if they do nothing different, I need to tell them again? I don’t know if either of them have really gone to confession, but I can say with 80-90% certainty that they haven’t.
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What others have said is generally true. You do not need to continue to tell them when there is no hope for amendment and especially when it would only make them less likely to amend or to commit sins against charity, blaspheme, etc. If you honestly think you can help the situation by bringing it up again perhaps in a different way, you should do so, especially after a significant amount of time has elapsed since you last discussed it with them.
 
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