Do I understand this correctly?

[Argh]

Hey, I’m back. Long story not applicable to this thread so I’ll move on…

I have the MOST awesome history professor for World History to 1500 where my professor is a devout Catholic. I know, an orthodox catholic female professor in humanities, but it’s true. Anyways, this professor has the focus of the class on analysis rather than content and every lecture we analyse several documents. Anywyas we had a document from St. Augustine of Hippo (my personal favorite) which he asks God for the power to even abstain from involuntary lust (specifically a wet dream in this document). We had a great discussion on this document and if I could’ve recorded it for you all i would have. Also we discussed Gospel of Mark (marriage, divorce and chastity vs. celibacy) and Corinthians I in the same context.

Now to my problem…

Some time ago i recieved some bad advice concerning lust and masturbation in confession and I KNOW i should’ve better but when I asked whether or not I can recieve communion after said activities, he responded in the affirmative. He explained to the effect that in this social atmosphere that these sins were not that grave. I think he also said somthing about since they were not done with hate or malice they weren’t so bad.

I should’ve known that masturbation was indeed a mortal sin despite what that priest said but im struggling with lust in the context of St Augustine and involuntary sins. Since God in his infinite wisdom (/no sarcasm) created men the way he did, how will I ever recieve communion again? I cant sit in class without looking at the women around me and for the same reason I sit in front of church at Mass. I cant go to the gym to workout, turn on a TV or a computer and I certainly cant go swimming at a public beach or pool it seems.

Do I need to start plucking out eyes or simply never look up from the ground again? Any suggestions anyone? Help is greatly appreciated as I have to drag myself kicking and screaming to confession as it and I’m dreading not being able to recieve communion for a very long time.

 

[JezuUfamTobie]

Cheer up! There’s no such thing as an involuntary sin, whether St. Augustine says so or not. Look up “sin” and “lust” in the Catechism. You might also want to do a search on the Ask an Apologist forum.

If you’re recovering from habitual sin, it might take a while before you learn to distinguish lust from the mere temptation to lust. It might also take a while to establish good habits to replace the bad ones. But take heart, because it won’t last forever. Soon enough you will be able to dismiss temptation and eventually as you grow in pureness of heart, the temptations may even become less and less frequent.

See a different confessor next time, and go frequently.

 

[Ron_Conte]

lust is not an actual mortal sin unless it is fully deliberate, so you may still go to Mass and receive Communion as you struggle with this sin.

Ron

 

[wcknight]

Prayer, confession and time/maturity will help you conquer your sexual desires. Believe it or not, sex will not always be the primary focus of your attentions. Part of the cure is to stop thinking of every attractive female as a sex object.

There are a couple of fantasies that most young folks indulge themselves in. They believe that every female.male is available to them. They of couse are not (not all anyway). And they believe that if their sexual desires are fullfilled, they will be happy. That too is a fantasy. Folks who are sexually permiscuous are not generally happy. For one it is not good for us emotionally, and it is definitely not good for us spiritually or morally.

We know the commandments of God do not allow for this type of behavior, but the natural reaction is to still be attracted to this. The sex drive, of course, is nature’s way of perpetuating our species. IF this was not there, humans would have become extinct ages ago. Once we realize what is really good for us and what is not, we can learn to relate to females in a more healthy manner.

Our aim in life (for the married vocation) is to find one female that is compatible, not many. When we focus on how destructive sexual promiscuity can be, we realize that that type of behavior is counter productive both finding a suitable mate and our spiritual well being.

As one gets older, our sex drive diminishes and we realize that sex is not the be all and end all of all our deisres. Most folks develop other interests, sports, work, family etc. and spirituality also becomes more important. For most folks, an over active sex drive is less of a problem. (for some an under active sex drive becomes more of a problem - as the viagra and allegra is an indication of)

 

[Argh]

As one gets older, our sex drive diminishes and we realize that sex is not the be all and end all of all our deisres. Most folks develop other interests, sports, work, family etc. and spirituality also becomes more important. For most folks, an over active sex drive is less of a problem. (for some an under active sex drive becomes more of a problem - as the viagra and allegra is an indication of)

Thank God.

I try my best and I do catch myself most of the time. It was a huge “oh shoot” moment reading several documents at one time that do mention something involuntary as sinful (St. Augustine, Pope Gregory were two). But I think I have a solution that might help . For stage fright you always hear to “picture everyone in their underwear” and that, of course, is the problem. So instead one should “picture every women as the Virgin Mary”.

tyvm

 

[DailyBread]

Sounds like you are off to a better start with those ideas. I would avoid that priest and find a different confesor and use confession as an opportunity to continue in your struggle. Maybe going to mass an extra day of the week especially on Saturday (memorials to Our Mother) can be offered up to help. Looking at a girl and thinking she is pretty is different than looking at a girl and wishing you could have her for yourself and objectify her so watch out for the opposite, being too scrupulous too. If you are in doubt about recieving communion, I would say a spiritual one and leave it in the Lords hands. Your concern to Love him will grant you better graces and will be pleasing to him over going to communion just to go to communion. Just because we go to mass does not mean we always have to recieve (people should avoid judging people wh do not recieve because you have no idea why they aren’t… maybe they ate too close to mass) every time. Concern for Christ is the most important thing and lets say you weren’t in the state of mortal sin and still did not recieve because you were not sure… Christ will not fault you for that. It’s like Peter claiming to be unworthy and Christ calling him to rise so he could now be a fisher of men. It’s not wrong to respond like Peter .

 

[mosher]

I am not so sure that the advice of the priest was incorrect. Sometimes we have a tendency to react against a priest who will suggest that masturbation is not a mortal sin. When this advice is given you have to discern two things.

1. Is the priest suggesting that masturbation is never a mortal sin?
2. Is the priest suggestion that in my particular case it is not a mortal sin?

If the priest is of the opinion that the first question is correct then he should be avoided. However, if he falls into the second category he may be a good confessor.

In the second category if the priest believes that you are captive to compulsion then he is absolutely correct that in your particular case your culpability for masturbation does not qualify as a mortal sin. And even further he is very correct in advising you to continue to go to Communion. However, there is a nuance that has to be held if this is true. If this is your case it is necessary that he gives you proper council to do those things necessary to fight against this compulsion to reverse this bad habit so that your freedom is no longer limited. If he just tells you that in your case it is not a mortal sin and that you should continue to receive communion and does not give the proper council to fight against this problem then he is in error.

 

[wcknight]

Thank God.

I try my best and I do catch myself most of the time. It was a huge “oh shoot” moment reading several documents at one time that do mention something involuntary as sinful (St. Augustine, Pope Gregory were two). But I think I have a solution that might help . For stage fright you always hear to “picture everyone in their underwear” and that, of course, is the problem. So instead one should “picture every women as the Virgin Mary”.

tyvm

Offhand I would say most of the time yes, BUT if you treat everyone like that you could end up a life long bachelor or a priest or deacon. We do need more priests and deacons, but you could end up missing out on your potential future spouse.

 

[CRW]

Thank God.

I try my best and I do catch myself most of the time. It was a huge “oh shoot” moment reading several documents at one time that do mention something involuntary as sinful (St. Augustine, Pope Gregory were two). But I think I have a solution that might help . For stage fright you always hear to “picture everyone in their underwear” and that, of course, is the problem. So instead one should “picture every women as the Virgin Mary”.

tyvm

I was listening to a program on EWTN concerning this subjects, also hate and other things that we find in people we see or meet. The Priest stated that if we would speak first to each person Guardian Angel, since we all have one, everything would change. Try it.

 

[wcknight]

I’ve been trying to get through to the GAs of the folks we have a legal dispute with for well over a year. I think the problem sometimes is that some folks who have no conscience totally ignore their GA’s as well.

 

[CuriousInIL]

Cheer up! There’s no such thing as an involuntary sin, whether St. Augustine says so or not. Look up “sin” and “lust” in the Catechism. You might also want to do a search on the Ask an Apologist forum.

If you’re recovering from habitual sin, it might take a while before you learn to distinguish lust from the mere temptation to lust. It might also take a while to establish good habits to replace the bad ones. But take heart, because it won’t last forever. Soon enough you will be able to dismiss temptation and eventually as you grow in pureness of heart, the temptations may even become less and less frequent.

See a different confessor next time, and go frequently.

What is it that distinguishes these?

 

[mosher]

What is it that distinguishes these?

Lust is directly willed. This means that you actually purposefully lust after someone. Temptations to lust are those things that pop into our mind that we don’t control. When they pop up we have an obligation to fight against them but they are not a sin themselves.

 

[JezuUfamTobie]

Lust is directly willed. This means that you actually purposefully lust after someone. Temptations to lust are those things that pop into our mind that we don’t control. When they pop up we have an obligation to fight against them but they are not a sin themselves.

What he said.

CuriousInIL:

If in doubt, I think one can simply ask oneself, “Did I conjure up or dwell on that thought on purpose?”