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AnneElizabeth
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Please, read my comment above as to why.
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Catolico65
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Lust is diabolic, especially this latest manifestation. Nonetheless, child sacrifice is equally diabolic and possibly even worse in God’s eyes because blood is shed.
These are all outcomes of the sexual revolution, which of course was supported by women as well as men. Therefore, both sexes are equally culpable for these travesties.
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AnneElizabeth
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Why are you bringing this up?Ironically just yesterday my wife rebuffed me and told me, “You have hands and an internet connection, don’t you?”
The premise is of course instead of pestering her I should handle business myself. I guess she’s outsourcing me to porn. Go figure.
I’m not taking her up on the offer (why sin mortally if one doesn’t have to?), and this is the first time she’s ever said this to me. Our sex life is normally great, but here is at least one instance of a wife pushing her husband into porn for convenience.
For the record she’s been udner a lot of stress so I don’t take it personally; lately she dozes off the second her head hits the pillow. I’ll just wait for her to catch up on her rest…she’s gonna need it.
Why do you think I’d agree that what your wife said/suggested is ok?
Do you think I think women sinning is ok and men’s sin is not?
Do you think I’d naturally side with your wife just because we share the same gender?
I’m being serious… why did you bring this up?
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AnneElizabeth
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Your wife’s comments don’t make me feel safe as a woman either.Ironically just yesterday my wife rebuffed me and told me, “You have hands and an internet connection, don’t you?”
The premise is of course instead of pestering her I should handle business myself. I guess she’s outsourcing me to porn. Go figure.
I’m not taking her up on the offer (why sin mortally if one doesn’t have to?), and this is the first time she’s ever said this to me. Our sex life is normally great, but here is at least one instance of a wife pushing her husband into porn for convenience.
For the record she’s been udner a lot of stress so I don’t take it personally; lately she dozes off the second her head hits the pillow. I’ll just wait for her to catch up on her rest…she’s gonna need it.
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AnneElizabeth
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There is a reason why eunuchs in the Bible were men and not women. Ever think about that?
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DMC12
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I dont follow your logic, God put men in charge so what? not even sure what to be in charge means, we have now female presidents. and wans’t Eve who induced Adam to sin?
second, if you tought women never offend a man if they have not been offended before, you are terribly wrong, even at least here, people agree that when a group of women say (name removed by moderator)roper stuff to a man, it is usually more embarrasing, than when the oposite. want a real example, years ago when i was in the bus there was this group of 14-15 year old girls in the bus, like flirting to people passing by, when a guy did not paid attention to them they called him a f****t.
i think you did not read a post above yours, the wife of one guy mocked him for not liking porn. want another? my bro had female school mates that sitted in front of a guy pretending to have sex, just because he was embarrased, and not the only case of that that I know.
also do you really think that all the girls in porn videos are forced to? or because they are drug addicts? some of them enter there because it is easy money, because they like to do it, dont you think women are responsible? if no women did it there would be no porn.
also i assume you know there is drawn pornography, guess what? one of the most popular flash animators of that kinda stuff is a woman.
first step, stop looking for culprits and looking for solutions. you really need therapy, look for a good catholic therapist (in this case it has to be catholic), and try to liove your life without thinking that women are the saints or victims you certainly are not.
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Catolico65
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You are right, God did make men differently. He created men emotionally and chemically different to be proactive as opposed to receptive as women. This is clearly evident in how men and women interact when choosing a mate. This is also evident in normal every day life and also reflected in the typical man’s innate interest in women’s beauty (which is acknowledged in the Bible).
Therefore, men have always struggled with the temptation to lust and as demonstrates the Bible and are easily provoked. For this reason God’s wrath was frequently provoked by the Israelites that allowed prostitutes to offer their service thus causing a great deal of men to fail.
Unfortunately, now we have gotten to the point where it is virtually impossible for men not to be provoked sexually in today’s society because of tv, music, movies, the internet and also provocative dressing that leaves almost nothing to the imagination. Top that off with our increasing homosexual indoctrination and it isn’t a pretty picture for a young man trying to act as Christ would want. This is why I believe we are in the end times of course because even men who love Christ and recognizing lusting another women is a very serious sin they still do it, myself included.
My only solution is of course prayer and letting everyone know of the diabolical origin of this latest manifestation of lust and prostitution, ie pornography, and also as a parent preparing one’s children to deal with the inevitable exposure to said.
As a daughter of three beautiful girls who is worried about them finding three good Christian men I am already decided on how to approach this in order to prepare them the best I can. First, I will teach them to not dress and act provocatively and let them understand boys react differently than girls. Two, I fight tooth and nail for them to give preference to finding a Catholic or at least an evangelical mate, because they should at least understand what it means to be a Christian man. And since there is so much temptation out there I will advise my daughters to follow the Bible’s recommendation to a “t” in that the man is the king of the house and gets the final word if no compromise can be made and that a women’s body is not her own but her husband’s and thus will have to perform her wifely duties even if she does not want to. Since a good Christian man would do his best to not sin I expect he would more likely than not be less tempted with a wife that does her best to please him as God intended.
Still, it is too easy to fail in this evil world in which we live so I expect we really have little time left. I personally believe Hollywood and the UN are the great prostitute and abomination of the Bible because that is where pornography(prostitution), child sacrifice and homosexual indoctrination originate which God has historically abhorred. Paz.
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Geist
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Because you’re illogically portraying men as these rapists by proxy for watching porn while their innocent wives pine, wither, and die inside and how “No woman wants to marry a man that looks at other women NAKED and thinks there is nothing wrong with it. No woman would ever submit to that.” when my wife just told me yesterday she does in fact want me to do that.
So the use of the word “no” is inapplicable here.
I strongly suggest counseling for your issues by the way. it’s highly abnormal to get so wound up over what other people are doing.
Do I like porn? No.
Does it’s existence rile me up so much to the point of irrationality? Nope.
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Cimachol
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I agree that it is important for men to be speaking with men about this. There are so many voices out there saying that pornography is fine that men have little reason to say no – unless someone can give them one. Knowing that there are other men who do not use pornography, and who may have once been addicted but found a will and a way to break free from it, could be lifesaving, on an earthly level and beyond.
We men need to be on guard, for example, when pornography comes up in conversation, to state our position in a casual, non-confrontational way that offers an alternative to the pornography culture. Even little things, like comments or jokes encouraging us to objectify women, should be dealt with, as this is really where pornography begins.
Keep in mind, though, that not all men are okay with pornography. While there are countless pornographic sites on the Internet, for example, there are a few sites devoted to creating an awareness of the damage pornography does and to helping those who struggle with it break free.
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bmaj
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Your questions and post are all too familiar to my feelings, AnneElizabeth. As a wife whose husband has used porn extensively, it hurts me to the core of my soul also. When I discovered what was going on behind my back, the pain in my heart was actual physical as well as emotional and stabbing pain. It was all I could do to get through a day without telling him I HATED him for it. At one point I was asking God in my prayers to please take me because it wasn’t worth living in a marriage like that anymore. But He must have had other plans, because I’m still here. You asked how do women cope… I’ve basically learned how to survive and how to have a fairly civil discussion with my husband about it, but the coping part varies from day to day and year to year in my marriage. There’s a support group here at CAF for women going through this in their relationships called, "Women Suffering Because of Unchastity " (strange title, I know, but that’s what CAF insisted we call it when we wanted to put the word “Pornography” in the title instead). It deals specifically with this issue and has helped me tremendously in my marriage. You and any other women reading this and experiencing this hurt might want to join the group. It might benefit you as well. (You can request to join through the top tool bar here at CAF under “Groups.”)
You also ask why women aren’t more vocal in their outrage about this. I sure wish they would be. I wish I COULD be. I am when it comes to a general discussion about the topic, but unfortunately most people I know personally don’t even want to talk about it. And it’s very embarrassing to bring up on a personal level - to women friends or to husbands. They either try to ignore the whole issue or excuse it as a non-issue that the secular world condones and sometimes even encourages. That’s a sick and sad fact, unfortunately. It seems to me that the “women’s lib” movement of the 60’s and beyond doesn’t seem to care what it does to women, but then again, they don’t even care what abortion does to women either. In fact, they flaunt abortion as a right and fight anyone who tries to tell them about the damage it actually does to women. Another sick and very sad fact.
As several have mentioned above, this is all one of Satan’s ways of gaining souls, and he is probably loving every minute of it. We all need to fight it any way we possibly can. I pray we - women and men as well - have the guts to do just that.
Please know that you’re definitely not alone in feeling the hurt you feel, and you have every right to feel that way. God bless you, and may Our Lord be with you always and give you peace. I’ve also found that prayers for Our Lady’s and St. Monica’s intercession have helped me as well. They both know what we’re going through.
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AnneElizabeth
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Of course not, and thanks for proving my point, which is men don’t understand at all what porn does to women.
“Am I my brothers keeper?”
No man is an island.
How can I say I am loving if I don’t feel love and concern for those who sin? By your words and what you said to me. you’d judge Jesus Christ as irrational and 'highly abnormal", I’m certain of it. We are supposed to be His eyes, His hands, and His feet… His mouthpiece- of one body with Him. God fights. Its the dead that float downstream with the current.
Let me rephrase my comment that you have difficulty with. No woman -in her right mind.
Perhaps its your wife that should be seeing a counselor… preferably the Holy Spirit who teaches us everything we need to know. I’ll say a prayer for the both of you.
OH and you might find this interesting… God didn’t go to Eve and placed blame on her, he went to Adam after the original sin occurred. We call Jesus “the second Adam” because He came to redeem “the sin of the first Adam”… If you don’t believe me, here is a write up from the Archdiocese of Washington: I’ve cut and pasted the first paragraph to let you know your error. May God Bless you.
"Original Sin as you (hopefully) know is that first sin committed by Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden when they ate the forbidden fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil (Gen 3:1-7). It is clearly a sin that involved both of them. And yet, both in Scripture and Tradition when this sin is referred to formally by name it is called the “Sin of Adam” or “Adam’s Sin.” It is also described as coming to us “through one man” not “through Adam and Eve” or “through a man and a woman.” Consider the following quotes from Scripture and then from the Catechism: … "
read the rest here: blog.adw.org/2010/08/why-is-the-first-sin-called-the-sin-of-adam-not-the-sin-of-adam-and-eve/
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AnneElizabeth
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Geist, what does a rapist DO? What are they thinking when they do the deed?
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lovely0lovely
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A saw an article awhile ago, that a group of psychologist wanted to conduct an experiment on people who watch porn vs people who doesn’t watch porn on the effects of porn/how they view sex and forth… However, the experiment was drop because they couldn’t find enough people who didn’t watch ever before.
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DMC12
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Ok, what have you done to stop pornography?
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OraLabora
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Hmm:
"Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the degrading of their bodies among themselves, 25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.
26 For this reason God gave them up to degrading passions. Their women exchanged natural intercourse for unnatural, 27 and in the same way also the men, giving up natural intercourse with women, were consumed with passion for one another. Men committed shameless acts with men and received in their own persons the due penalty for their error.
28 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind and to things that should not be done. 29 They were filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, covetousness, malice. Full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, craftiness, they are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters,[f] insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, rebellious toward parents, 31 foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32 They know God’s decree, that those who practice such things deserve to die—yet they not only do them but even applaud others who practice them."
This was written by Saint Paul some 2000 years ago. It sounds vaguely familiar. Were we in end times 2000 years ago? Certainly many Christians believed that. The only explanation I can offer comes from Ps. 89(90):
"For a thousand years in your sight
are like yesterday when it is past,
or like a watch in the night.
You sweep them away; they are like a dream,
like grass that is renewed in the morning;
in the morning it flourishes and is renewed;
in the evening it fades and withers."
(my bold)
Not much has really changed in 2000 years (and I’m willing to bet… since the beginning of mankind). Perhaps are methods are more efficient at getting us to hell. But we’re no more, nor any less, depraved now than when Saint Paul penned those words a couple of millenia ago.
I don’t spend too much time worrying about end times but I do believe since we know not the hour, it’s best to be prepared!
Incidentally porn is not the only way that men degrade women. I’ve just finished a novel which I “read” as an audio book on my long commute, about two women in Afghanistan, and what their lot was under the Taliban. The were covered from head to toe, but suffered beatings, degradation, etc.
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pnewton
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You have that right. I note that there is at least a ray of hope in Iceland who is progressive enough to be the first country to ban internet porn. I know that does not stop it, but we could do much more to control internet pornography and that would put a huge cut in the industry. The problem of pornography is serious enough to justify many draconian and invasive measures.
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pnewton
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It is a discussion. I have to say that you came across rather blunt toward half the population of the world. All people, even sinners, such as, well, all people, deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. So the question of how do you deal with men who use pornography? You deal with them with the same mercy and love that you want shown to you by others (as per the Golden Rule) and by God (as per the Lord’s Prayer). One does not have to take sin lightly or as something just to be accepted to be merciful.
That is my answer to your question. My answer to your feelings, which I suspect is stronger than your thoughts on the subject, is to seek out your priest and talk to him if you find charity difficulty. Also, of course, tell the object of your anger how you feel, but do so in imitation of our Blessed Mother, with humility and mercy.
I am sorry for your pain.
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Geist
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Having had the unique pleasure of being falsely accused of a rape back in high school I have to say I must confess I do not know what they think first hand, but in hindsight I should have asked some of the really scary looking dudes in the jail I was held in if they partook and what they thought of it.
Instead I did my absolute best to be invisible, go figure.
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Geist
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And you are out there hacking porn sites or blowing up server farms I assume?
Ah, maybe. Or without getting into details (since sex is like kryptonite to you) I like to go full force and she’s just not up to it lately.
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godisgood77
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I’ll answer…rapists force themselves on unwilling or unknowing victims. They are thinking of their own pleasure (at least their own demented version of pleasure). I personally know a omen and men who have been victims of rape. Obviously, there are many more cases of female rape, but it goes both ways.
What do you think the relationship/connection between porn and rape is?
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