Do my future in-laws have any right to know my "past"?

[Bendecida]

This question can apply to virgins of both genders: When I get married, do my future in-laws have any right to know whether I am a virgin? If their son is, they might not find it necessary to ask that about his future wife; but, if they know or at least suspect that he has had sex in the past, do they have any right to ask me about my sexual history? Does it matter if they’re asking for religious reasons (e.g,. they want their son to marry a virgin because that is part of their religious culture)? And if they do ask, do I justify the question with an answer? Is this an appropriate question? This is all assuming they will take my word and not ask for any proof. Unfortunately, saying you are a devout Catholic doesn’t always lead one to assume you waited until you were married to have sex. If they don’t ask, should I tell them anyway?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

The only one who has a right to know the general parameters of your sexual history (not the intimate details) is your fiance, and he should be the one both fielding his family’s questions and defending you from unnecessary intrusiveness from his family. In fielding his family’s questions, that doesn’t mean that he should be sharing what he knows of your “past” with them. It means that he should be saying things like “I appreciate your concern, and I can tell you that [your name] and I have an open, honest relationship. She has shared with me her past, and I have shared with her mine. Please respect our privacy.” If instead your fiance pressures you to reveal your past to his family, or if he gossips about you to them, then those are red flags that this is not someone you can trust as a husband.