Do not know what to do?

[lolashy]

I also thought the driving thing was odd. I actually wondered whether there was more to the story. Is there some legal reason why a parent needs to drive with her? For example, is it possible there was a prior DWI conviction? Something’s off here.

To answer your question. … I have no driving record…lol The only reason my parents wont let me drive by myself is because they are scared i might crash the car or i might get into an accident… they said that if i do they dont have money to pay for it.(we have insurance but they still are scared to let me drive) So to avoid that happening they dont let me drive. So they would drive me to work and everywhere. I wish i could prove to them that i can drive without getting in a wreck(i feel im a good driver) …but its to risky for them…

 

[TheRealJuliane]

To answer your question. … I have no driving record…lol The only reason my parents wont let me drive by myself is because they are scared i might crash the car or i might get into an accident… they said that if i do they dont have money to pay for it.(we have insurance but they still are scared to let me drive) So to avoid that happening they dont let me drive. So they would drive me to work and everywhere. I wish i could prove to them that i can drive without getting in a wreck(i feel im a good driver) …but its to risky for them…

Your parents are way too fearful. You need to find a way out of there. At 21 you should be able to drive. Are you an only child? Did they lose any children other than you?

 

[Viki63]

To answer your question. … I have no driving record…lol The only reason my parents wont let me drive by myself is because they are scared i might crash the car or i might get into an accident… they said that if i do they dont have money to pay for it.(we have insurance but they still are scared to let me drive) So to avoid that happening they dont let me drive. So they would drive me to work and everywhere. I wish i could prove to them that i can drive without getting in a wreck(i feel im a good driver) …but its to risky for them…

There comes a time in every young person’s life when they have to seize the moment and step out toward adulthood.
I did it at 19, when my father said he was going to manage my life for me until I was 30 (he didn’t like my boyfriend.)
I packed my clothes the next morning, left my crying mother, took a cab to the train station and went to my boyfriend’s in another state, from there we went to Boston where I got a job busing tables. I had 12 jobs over the next couple of years, paid for driving school and bought a car for $500 which I blew up because I didn’t know you had to check the oil, eventually took out a bank loan and put myself through nursing school.
You’d be surprised what you can do when you have to. Growing up is challenging and fun. If you are depressed, get help and get going. You have to like yourself for others to like you – you will make friends.

 

[lolashy]

I don’t know if you are male or female but first thing is to look into the community college and see if there’s anything you’d be interested in. Talk to the counselor about the costs and what is available to you.

Consider a trade also. Not everyone is cut out for college. People make very good livings doing plumbing or hairdressing. These are skills you’ll have the rest of your life.

Get your driver’s license. You are an adult. What are your parents afraid about? If something happened to one of them, you should be capable of driving the injured party to the hospital.

Talk to your priest. If you qualify, he might know of a good Catholic college or a job.

Look into the military. Many people have had chosen the military as a way out of a desperate situation. Check into it.

im a female

 

[lolashy]

Your parents are way too fearful. You need to find a way out of there. At 21 you should be able to drive. Are you an only child? Did they lose any children other than you?

No, its me(im a girl…) and my brother who is 17… You know whats funny is that my brother gets treated better than me. I know its because im 21…(and i shouldnt be there) at home still. but still, they dont have to remind me about that everyday. My brother got his license before me so he is allowed to drive by himself and go see his friends and what not. But, i cant. I dont understand, why its this way.

 

[lolashy]

There comes a time in every young person’s life when they have to seize the moment and step out toward adulthood.
I did it at 19, when my father said he was going to manage my life for me until I was 30 (he didn’t like my boyfriend.)
I packed my clothes the next morning, left my crying mother, took a cab to the train station and went to my boyfriend’s in another state, from there we went to Boston where I got a job busing tables. I had 12 jobs over the next couple of years, paid for driving school and bought a car for $500 which I blew up because I didn’t know you had to check the oil, eventually took out a bank loan and put myself through nursing school.
You’d be surprised what you can do when you have to. Growing up is challenging and fun. If you are depressed, get help and get going. You have to like yourself for others to like you – you will make friends.

I understand what your saying. You are really couragous for leaving like that…

 

[lolashy]

Just a side note…Sometimes i see that people dont like when there parents send them to college… and literally have their kids life figured out. But, i kinda wish my parents would do that for me. I would love to go to college if my parents had paid for it for me like that.

 

[lolashy]

Everyone reaches a point where they have to chart their own course. I think you’d agree that you sound depressed. There’s Catholic Charities, and Lutheran Aid or maybe your church has something similiar. You are an adult. Make an appointment and go talk to someone about your depression. Do what they suggest.

You go to community college because your parents make you. You need this. Be honest, if you were not made to get out of the house, you’d veg.

99% of the world force themselves to get up and do something that they really don’t want to do because it is what we must do. Your job is to get an education. Focus on something and make make yourself learn it with no excuses. Really commit.

Take a good look at yourself and improve yourself. Get a good haircut, take an interest in how you dress. Eat well, exercise daily, read the paper each day, read a book a week, watch a TV show where you will learn something. Get yourself on a schedule and do it.

Romance comes when you least expect it. We all want love but you have to love yourself first. You have to be able to offer a future partner something.

Socializing is a skill too. You have to go into it with something to offer. Be the person you’d like to meet. It takes time but all of us have gone through the same. We have to find ourselves and at 18 this is a good time to start.

I understand you. thanks for the advice, im not making excuses… just in the process of figuring this out. But thanks…

 

[karbear]

Hi,

I think that you should think in terms of finding out what gifts you have, developing them, and sharing them with the world. You are in a nice position to start doing that, and maybe your restlessness is a little push from above. I don’t happen to agree with the goal of independence for indepence sake, but develop your talents and you never know what job opportunities that might lead to. Pray about that first step and don’t worry if you don’t know where it might lead yet.

Are you artistic? Then maybe start learning how do develop those talents and also volunteer in the community. Do you like helping people? Then maybe visit some of the elderly in the community or organize a bingo group or a holiday party for elderly who are alone. Do you like teaching? Start working towards an online teaching degree and volunteer at a school. Do you like history, litterature, computer programming? Start writing a book, or developing a useful website or program, or start a historical society. Like gardening? Organize a community garden or start a small business selling cut flowers or vegetables if you have access to land.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

No, its me(im a girl…) and my brother who is 17… You know whats funny is that my brother gets treated better than me. I know its because im 21…(and i shouldnt be there) at home still. but still, they dont have to remind me about that everyday. My brother got his license before me so he is allowed to drive by himself and go see his friends and what not. But, i cant. I dont understand, why its this way.

Well, for whatever reason, your parents are over-protective of you. Is that common - is there a cultural value of protecting the female children and keeping them close to home? Are they hoping that you will get married? Or just stay close to them and take care of them when they are old?

This is so extreme that we have a hard time understanding - American parents usually don’t clutch this hard at their young adult children.

 

[aicirt]

I understand you. thanks for the advice, im not making excuses… just in the process of figuring this out. But thanks…

We all are trying to “figure it out”. While you are figuring, get involved and do something. It will help with the process of figuring.

 

[jazz91]

Hello, i just turned 21 i had a similar life like yours when i was going to high school and when i even started going to college, & sometimes i wouldnt even help around the house i was lazy, not saying you are had no social life. But then i decided to go to the youth group in my church and that helped me a lot i met a lot of people and it made me feel useful. I started helping around the house and help my parents. Im still trying to be a much better person so i can be somebody one day. You can try college its a great experience and you learn a lot and you have to think of your future what do you want to do when youre 26 27 preparing yourself for your adult life, maybe get married have a stable job something you can give your children, and not depend from a guy. You can also volunteer, i have volunteer for a cancer organization and its something so beautiful. there is a lot of things you can do you have to just take initiative and good luck. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING THROUGH GOD

 

[Irishmom2]

Hello, i have a question concerning my life. I do not know what to do… I am 21 years old and i have
no idea what to do with my life. I am currently staying at home with my parents… and i am just not
happy. I know i should be happy, because i live with my parents and they pay for everything for me.
But its just that i have no life. I stay home all day and just do my chores and thats it. I dont go anywhere.(i haveNo social life) I am not allowed to drive without one of my parents being with me. I live in the middle of nowhere. A very rural area. So, i have tried several jobs, but all there is fast food jobs. I have tried but, cant stand working at these places. I just dont want my life to be like this forever, i want to move out. But, i have no money and no where to go. I cant just leave my parents house, because i have no where to go, so its not that easy. I just dont know what to do… i feel like this is how its gonna be forever…=( please pray for me and give me any advice. thanks!

Your aparents are allowing you to stay in their home and live there, but you are unhappy. That is not their fault from what you say. They cannot decide what you want to do with your life, you need to decide, and you need to make it happen even if it means with no help from them–as in YOU pay for college while living in their home and eating their food and getting rides to work in their car.

no… theres no money…

If you really wanted to go to college, there are ways to go and pay for it. You have been given many good resources in this thread. Will you look into them?

To answer your question. … I have no driving record…lol The only reason my parents wont let me drive by myself is because they are scared i might crash the car or i might get into an accident… they said that if i do they dont have money to pay for it.(we have insurance but they still are scared to let me drive) So to avoid that happening they dont let me drive. So they would drive me to work and everywhere. I wish i could prove to them that i can drive without getting in a wreck(i feel im a good driver) …but its to risky for them…

Just because they have insurance doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t cost them anything should someone get in an accident. Their rates would go up possibly and perhaps they cannot afford that.

No, its me(im a girl…) and my brother who is 17… You know whats funny is that my brother gets treated better than me. I know its because im 21…(and i shouldnt be there) at home still. but still, they dont have to remind me about that everyday. My brother got his license before me so he is allowed to drive by himself and go see his friends and what not. But, i cant. I dont understand, why its this way.

Please do not take this as harsh, but you are not acting mature when you say you won’t work in fast food because you don’t like it. You need to do whatever it takes to save money and to prove to your parents that you ARE mature. Right now, you are not doing that. You need to figure out what you want to do with your life, and go make it happen, whatever it takes.

Just a side note…Sometimes i see that people dont like when there parents send them to college… and literally have their kids life figured out. But, i kinda wish my parents would do that for me. I would love to go to college if my parents had paid for it for me like that.

Well they aren’t paying, so now you have to do what many more people than you think do, get a job, and pay for community college yourself. Perhaps when your parents see you are making progress, they may let you have a bit more freedom with the car too. They will not want to drive you back and forth to work and school all day.

I understand you. thanks for the advice, im not making excuses…

Actually, you are.

I know it’s difficult, but we have ALL had jobs we did not like. I waited tables to make money for college. Was it a job I liked? No. Was it hard work? Yes. Were the other people working in the restaurant the kind of people I would hang out with? No.

I went there, did my job, was nice to the customers, and got paid.

Look at your local community college.

Better yourself.

Only you can make it happen. Stop making excuses and start making a future.

Once again 1ke, you hit the nail on the head.

 

[Lovemyfaith]

Hello, i just turned 21 i had a similar life like yours when i was going to high school and when i even started going to college, & sometimes i wouldnt even help around the house i was lazy, not saying you are had no social life. But then i decided to go to the youth group in my church and that helped me a lot i met a lot of people and it made me feel useful. I started helping around the house and help my parents. Im still trying to be a much better person so i can be somebody one day. You can try college its a great experience and you learn a lot and you have to think of your future what do you want to do when youre 26 27 preparing yourself for your adult life, maybe get married have a stable job something you can give your children, and not depend from a guy. You can also volunteer, i have volunteer for a cancer organization and its something so beautiful. there is a lot of things you can do you have to just take initiative and good luck. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING THROUGH GOD

This is great advice.