Do not want to have children with my husband

[basilisk]

Yeah, when someone’s successfully designed a time machine for reverts, let me know.
I’m having a tough day for my Catholic faith. I certainly believe in God, but this seems ridiculous to me.

Maturity has nothing to do with one’s religion. Though getting serious about religion can be an indicator of growing maturity…

Honestly, sydney’s concerns seem to have alot more to do with his maturity level and his deceptiveness. She herself said she thinks he put on an act to get her to marry him. And he stays out with buddies and would rather act like a single guy than be home with his family. He caves to peer pressure and the stupid things “the guys” say. These have nothing to do with religious disagreement, they have to do with a man who is not a grownup yet. And no matter what religion, people can discern maturity levels and honesty if they choose to and take the time to do that.

My husband is military too. He spent a year 10,000 miles away from me, not in a war zone. He literally could have done ANYTHING he wanted and I would never have found out. Yet, during that year, all of his actions and words stayed consistent to his marriage vows and his commitment to his wife and children. That is maturity, and it would make him a good husband if he were Hindu, Baptist, Muslim, or even Pagan instead of Catholic.

 

[lizaanne]

…but I’m faced with a similar decision: My faith or my husband?

It’s not an either or deal. A husband/wife is responsible for helping their spouse to heaven. Because he is not moving in that direction at your desired pace is not something you have control over. It may well be that he doesn’t get there until just before he takes his final breath. But, like it or not, this is what we as married people, all signed up for.

My dad has been married to my step mother for 30 years. He had fallen away from the faith for the majority of their marriage. She went to Mass every single Sunday, asked him every single time if he wanted to go with her, and when he said no she said ok and just went alone.

About two years ago my dad had a significant re-version experience. He made a 25+ year confession, and is now a most devout and faithful Catholic. He said that now he is so very sad about all those Sundays his wife went to Mass without him. But she never bugged him about it, she never got on his case. She just lived the example for him, and when he was ready, he came back. It was a very long time for her to bear that cross, but she did it because that’s what she signed up for.

Not an either or deal - for better or worse.

Be patient with them. And remember that your plan is not always in line with God’s will. If these men are to get to heaven you need to do your best to help them get there - but they can’t go kicking and screaming. They need to go willingly, and on their own. In God’s time, not yours. And remember, God does not own a watch.



~Liza

 

[seekdatruth]

It’s not an either or deal. Because he is not moving in that direction at your desired pace is not something you have control over. It may well be that he doesn’t get there until just before he takes his final breath.

Not an either or deal - for better or worse.

Be patient with them. And remember that your plan is not always in line with God’s will. If these men are to get to heaven you need to do your best to help them get there - but they can’t go kicking and screaming. They need to go willingly, and on their own. In God’s time, not yours. And remember, God does not own a watch.



~Liza

I agree, Liza. That’s kind of what I meant. it’s just that sometimes, the CC doesn’t seem have the right answer for all situations, yet lays things out in absolutes. Marriage should only result in children? Well what about those that are infertile? What about the OP’s situation? You’re right, we *shouldn’t * have to choose one or the other, but that’s where the Church seems to put some of us.
I hope the OP stays married. Wait it out, dh might grow up. My dh has come miles, even though we’re in this current situation where he seems to be trying interfere with my desire to return to the CC. I’m just frustrated because it seems that annulment is the only answer to this situation, as far as the Church is concerned. It’s hard to have faith in the Church having something that seems wrong glaring at me. Having my children grow up with their father who loves them and tries to instill good Christian values in them is more important to me than being able to go to Communion, even though I REALLY want to. I’m supposed to kick out my current husband and go shopping for a new Catholic one? Give me a break. Yeah, I believe there’s a reason this person is in the situation she is in. God’s plan just hasn’t been revealed yet.