Do priests break ties with family?

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Lots of people break ties with family.

The vocation or career path they have chosen has no bearing on their choice to break ties with people who they feel they are unable to interact with for whatever reason.
 
White sheep : to inform him of the wedding, since he is my cousin and the invitations are going out.
Lilym : I meant my son’s decision and my cousins issues.
 
Ellen1212 said:
Hi, my second post here. I’m a lapsed Catholic. My cousin is a priest in a nearby parish and has refused to talk or visit since I stopped going to church 10 years ago. He has ignored my phone calls about my son’s upcoming civil wedding but the rift goes back before that. Is this Normal behavior for a priest? His mom, my aunt, is cordial but not warm. She says he considers his parish to be his family now.
My question is, do priests usually break off with family? I feel his behavior is unChristian.
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No Catholic is allowed to attend a wedding service involving one or two Catholics which is not a service viewed as a valid Catholic wedding. I would not attend either.

You are giving your side but the truth probably is that your cousin doesn’t want to be hectored with your views. In all probablity he has already explained why you are wrong and doesn’t want to go through all that again since it would do no good.

And if he should agree to talk with you what would you talk about that would be a safe topic? Besides, he has his own duties which do not include making you feel good about the poor choices you have made. You made you choice. You cut yourself off, now you have to live with it until you can see why you have been wrong.

Linus2nd
 
A lot of people have trouble keeping up with nearer relations like siblings and parents and grandparents and kids and grandkids. Any time you manage to have a close ongoing relationship with a cousin or an aunt or an uncle, that’s a bonus, rather than something to be expected. I am in occasional touch with one second cousin, but that’s pretty much it. When we see each other at family events, that’s great, but I don’t go out of my way to keep up with my cousins.

He’s a very busy guy, and in his hours off, he’d probably like to spend time with people that he has something in common with and that he can relax with. Spending time with an opinionated ex-Catholic cousin probably doesn’t sound like much of a break to him. Aside from the family tie, what do you have in common?

Aside from that, he may be having health problems, your email could have been lost, and his voice mail and his email are probably extremely challenging to keep up with. (I’m just a housewife, and I’m 12 days behind on my email.)
 
I’m sorry for your priest-cousin’s lack of pastoral charity, Ellen 1212. No, it’s not “normal” for a member of the clergy to be so dismissive, but it happens. As another poster said, priests are human, & therefore subject to human error. Why not use this as an opportunity to unite your hurt & disappointment with Jesus’ sacrifice on the Cross? That way, it becomes a kind of prayer–for your cousin’s soul, for your soul, & that of your son & his bride, as well. And who knows, your prayer may well bring about a measure of family healing. It may also draw you back to the Catholic Church. :0) God bless & Mary keep you!
 
Ellen1212 said:
Now I know ehy I left the church.
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Because you had faith in humans and they let you down and did not act the way you wished? Like on this board? That seems like an emotional reason to leave a supernatural God.🤷

I would leave the Church too if my faith was in people rather than God.
 
Maybe your cousin loves you but just doesn’t like you? My cousin and I love each other but we have nothing in common - we never talk. If I leave a message he never gets back with me either. It’s sad I guess but I don’t dwell on “the why” too much so it doesn’t bother me.
 
Ellen1212 said:
Hi, my second post here. I’m a lapsed Catholic. My cousin is a priest in a nearby parish and has refused to talk or visit since I stopped going to church 10 years ago. He has ignored my phone calls about my son’s upcoming civil wedding but the rift goes back before that. Is this Normal behavior for a priest? His mom, my aunt, is cordial but not warm. She says he considers his parish to be his family now.
My question is, do priests usually break off with family? I feel his behavior is unChristian.
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I know people who are close family members of their parish priest. They see him at least every Sunday. If you find there is a rift in your family, it probably relate to you not going to Church (and other behaviors that aren’t in line with the Church teachings) more than it relates to your cousin being a priest.

You say that ten years ago, you left the Church. Think of that: you left his family, he didn’t leave yours. Now your child is getting married outside of the Church, which is a major issue for Catholics because (if you remember), marriage is a Sacrament for us. The relationship between a husband and wife in marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and His Church. In the Bible, Jesus is often called “The Bridegroom”. Marriage is a big deal, and leaving the Bride of Christ, (which is the Church) and getting married outside of the Church is also a big deal. It may even be a bit of an insult to him that you invite him as a guest at a civil wedding instead of as the priest who officiates your child’s Catholic wedding.

Plus your calling your cousin’s behavior unchristian probably doesn’t help relationship between all of you either. Frankly, it sound’s like you are rather judgmental of him and perhaps even a little insulting to him too.
 
Ellen1212 said:
Linusthe2nd: you are a pompous ***.
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Ignoring his post would have been a more kind response. If you’re going to lecture how un-Christian your cousin is in ignoring you, you might want to consider that there are worse things than being ignored. 🤷
 
I think this thread had gotten out of line. Someone was coming here for Catholic Answers and several people blasted her. We should be working to evangelize, not chastise.

I highly recommend the book called “The Four Signs of a Dynamic Catholic” for everyone on here. www.dynamiccatholic.com

God Bless.
 
Ellen1212 said:
White sheep : to inform him of the wedding, since he is my cousin and the invitations are going out.
Lilym : I meant my son’s decision and my cousins issues.
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It’s possible that he just knows that this will be at best an uncomfortable conversation due to the topic. Perhaps if you tried talking to him about something more neutral than this wedding you would get more of a response.

Now, I agree that ignoring your calls isn’t the best way to approach it but priests are human and have human reactions that sometime include avoiding challenging situations. I think you mentioned that you haven’t spoken to him for quite some time. He might think it odd that after not trying to contact him previously, you “reach out” to him to “inform” him about this “wedding.”
 
Yeah, the invitation to an event he’s probably not even allowed to go to is not exactly an olive branch.

Invite him to something less fraught. Or go to daily Mass and invite him out to lunch afterwards.
 
phil19034 said:
I think this thread had gotten out of line. Someone was coming here for Catholic Answers and several people blasted her. We should be working to evangelize, not chastise.

I highly recommend the book called “The Four Signs of a Dynamic Catholic” for everyone on here. www.dynamiccatholic.com

God Bless.
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While it might not be to your liking the OP is being evangelized. Catholic teaching is being discussed and the OP is receiving information that can help her. She is choosing not to accept it. How do you propose evangelizing the OP? By speaking ill of a priest to agree with her?
 
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