Do regular Catholics (like me) really commit so many mortal sins? Really?!

[ProVobis]

A priest once explained it to me this way. When you have major sin in your life, your window is really, really dirty. The large smudges dominate your view. Once you confess and vanquish those, you start to notice the smaller smudges on the glass. When the window was really dirty, you were not even aware that the smaller smudges existed. Now, once the window is mostly clean, these small smudges are suddenly very obvious to you, as they are the only things preventing you from having a clean piece of glass.

Makes sense. So frequent confession does work.

 

[paperwight66]

Assuming that the facts of this highly-detailed story are accurate (Did the professor really get him fired SO THAT he could not finish his paper i.e. that was his intention? Do you know that for a fact, or have you just heard one side of the story?), then this definitely falls within the realm of grave matter and potential mortal sin. Going to Communion every week and partaking of the Eucharist would only heap more mortal sin upon existing sin. That’s not likely to end well for the professor.

This is an excellent point. In my own experience, as you dispatch with the major sins in your life and grow closer to God, you should necessarily begin to become more aware of the “smaller” (smaller in relation, but still serious) sins that need correction, but which you did not notice when you had “bigger fish to fry”. I’ve had that experience in my life and observed it in others.

A priest once explained it to me this way. When you have major sin in your life, your window is really, really dirty. The large smudges dominate your view. Once you confess and vanquish those, you start to notice the smaller smudges on the glass. When the window was really dirty, you were not even aware that the smaller smudges existed. Now, once the window is mostly clean, these small smudges are suddenly very obvious to you, as they are the only things preventing you from having a clean piece of glass.

Oh, yes, absolutely.

But it still doesn’t change a venial sin into a mortal one.

 

[Cat]

It’s true, one might go through life thinking they are free of mortal sin…at least until they see a list of sins that by their consequencesm, show one will forfit heaven i.e. land in hell if they should die in any of them

#15

to take just one sin mentioned from the list #22

Absolution & contrition
“By itself however, **imperfect contrition **cannot obtain the forgiveness of grave sins, but it disposes one to obtain forgiveness in the sacrament of Penance” see 1453

Which is why Our Lord established the sacrament of reconciliation.

I read through the list of sins that you posted (link #15). Oh, my. I don’t do any of these things. Do other Catholics really do these awful things? Witchcraft? Lust? Greed? Sexual debauchery? Idolatry? Fits of rage? Swindling? Orgies?

Wow. It’s no wonder the Church isn’t growing faster. These are some terrible sins. I would be afraid to associate with people who regularly and deliberately committed these sins! These are evil.

And honestly, I don’t believe it. I honestly don’t believe most Catholics are guilty of these sins. Maybe idolatry, if you count the TV as the “idol,” although IMO, it’s more likely that a person simply becomes addicted to the TV, and that’s not idolatry, it’s addiction.

I believe that Wampa nailed it citing use of birth control, missing Mass, viewing porn, masturbation, and looking at someone other than a spouse (although I’m not sure how much of that is “lust” and how much of it is just a normal male physical response to the sight of a lovely woman).

We become what we think we are. If we think we are idolaters or sexual perverts or greedy, that’s what we will act like. I think that some people have such a low opinion of themselves that they pick up on any flaw or weakness and label themselves as “vile.” And then they act on it, and of course, that often means avoiding Church because “vile” people don’t belong in a Church.

It’s the same game that Evangelical Protestants used to play (and probably still do). They think they have to be “perfect” before God will accept them or even look at them. So they stop going to church or reading their Bible because they obviously are failures and vile sinners and they don’t feel comfortable with all the people who are so good and pure.

This happens especially with the addictive sins. There are people who simply don’t have addictive personalities and never have problems saying “no” to anything (alcohol, overeating, sex, gambling, drugs, shopping, coffee, etc.). These people have a hard time understanding addictions.

But for those of us with addictive tendencies (these run in families, BTW), everyday is a struggle to avoid whatever we are addicted to. And often, if we do overcome it through a combination of religious zeal, therapy, and medical treatment, we end up addicted to something else. (I know alcoholics who, once sober, drink dozens of cans of Coke a day.)

I guess it boils down to my not believing that God considers addictive sins “mortal” because the addicted person has little or no control over the forces that make him/her addicted.

At any rate, I do not believe that most Catholics regularly and deliberately commit the sins that are listed in that link. Jealousy, maybe, when you’re a teenager and another girl gets asked to the prom and you don’t. To me, that’s not a serious sin, and therefore doesn’t qualify as “mortal.”

I think we’re all beating ourselves up too much. And I don’t think that’s a good way for Christians on the road to heaven to live.

 

[JRKH]

I agree with you that these sins are serious (or grave). But I don’t consider them “mortal” in my life because I don’t deliberately choose to do them, and I am constantly fighting the tendency to be spiritual lazy or gluttonous (e.g., my Lenten commitment was giving up sweets, and I have stuck with it so far–not sure if it’s doing any good, but I’ll plow on and trust that the Lord will work in my life to strengthen my ability to say “no” to an excess of sweets).

 

[JamalChristophr]

No, I don’t think it’s scrupulosity. When I attended the Extraordinary Form of the Mass every Sunday, there was always a long line for confession. I assume that most folks (especially the older one’s, like me) are mostly confessing venial sins. If we are to grow in holiness, we want to eradicate even venial sin, though we don’t obsess on it. Many of the saints of old went to confession every week, even though they committed no mortal sins.

Saint Marianna of Jesus went to confession every day. I wonder how many Saints did that.

I have read that deliberate venial sins seriously impede our growth in holiness.

 

[ProVobis]

But it still doesn’t change a venial sin into a mortal one.

I don’t think many of the pre-Vatican II people (or the present Orthodox, for that matter) constantly looked for that line which divides venial and mortal sins. The rule was more predominately confession before every communion.

 

[Sunbreak]

Actually, it seems like it would be very easy for a Catholic to have mortal sins - all you have to do is contracept, miss Mass on Sunday, live with your boyfriend, divorce and marry outside of the Church, destroy someone’s reputation through gossip and more.

 

[JRKH]

Actually, it seems like it would be very easy for a Catholic to have mortal sins - all you have to do is contracept, miss Mass on Sunday, live with your boyfriend, divorce and marry outside of the Church, destroy someone’s reputation through gossip and more.

Correct - so long as you did any of these things with full knowledge and free consent of the will.

Peace
James

 

[paperwight66]

Actually, it seems like it would be very easy for a Catholic to have mortal sins - all you have to do is contracept, miss Mass on Sunday, live with your boyfriend, divorce and marry outside of the Church, destroy someone’s reputation through gossip and more.

But honestly, how many of them do any of those past a certain age commit?

Obviously, I don’t know how many contracept in our parish, but I have to say, everybody I count as at least an acquaintance through church, just tries to struggle through the week caring for their family and neighbours in need, donating to appeals, and turning out for special services and prayer meetings when they can.

Some of these Examinations of Conscience absolutely stagger me as I can’t imagine anyone ordinarily decent doing some of the things listed, whether they are Catholic or not.

 

[Usige]

Correct - so long as you did any of these things with full knowledge and free consent of the will.

Peace
James

I think this is where things get sticky; what defines full knowledge and full consent?

I know several Catholics that outright reject Church teaching on contraception. They know what She teaches and why, but since they do not personally believe it is a sin some would say that their actions do not constitute a mortal sin since they do not contracept as an act meant to separate them from God. With that view one might say that they did not do so with full consent of will or perhaps full knowledge. We have to be careful to not reduce the delineation between mortal and venial sin as nothing more than mental gymnastics.

 

[Usige]

But honestly, how many of them do any of those past a certain age commit?

Obviously, I don’t know how many contracept in our parish, but I have to say, everybody I count as at least an acquaintance through church, just tries to struggle through the week caring for their family and neighbours in need, donating to appeals, and turning out for special services and prayer meetings when they can.

Some of these Examinations of Conscience absolutely stagger me as I can’t imagine anyone ordinarily decent doing some of the things listed, whether they are Catholic or not.

I would say committing acts of grave matter continue fairly late into life. I have done marriage prep and NFP training for the last 6 years and I’d say 90%+ of couples we work with are either living together or civilly married while awaiting an annulment. We’ve had people that are not even civilly married ask how long they have to stop having sex to learn NFP. Uh… Until you are married? The vast majority admit to intending to use contraceptives even after our class clearly covers the catechism and Humanae Vitae. Many of those we are working with are often in their early 30s or entering second marriages in their early 40s. To be honest we are more likely to have a couple marrying at 22 that follows Church teaching than we are persons in their 30s and 40s.

I cannot speak to the subjective is they are committing mortal sin, but their acts are clearly grave matter from an objective standpoint.

 

[babochka]

I’m in the group that doesn’t spend much time trying to decipher if a sin is mortal or not; I go to confession every 2-3 weeks, and if something is really pricking my conscience, I make sure I go to confession before I receive communion. I really can’t see where the “line” is, even in others. I just lay open my heart in confession, and I let God take care of it.

I have a scrupulous friend who is always asking me if something or another is a mortal sin, and I honestly have no idea. We can’t judge the state of others’ souls, nor can we judge the state of our own soul. All we can do is our best. We turn to God in prayer, seek him with all our hearts, examine our consciences, and live a sacramental life. God will provide us with what we need to stay in his Grace.

I once read, though I cannot cite the source, that the normal state for a Christian is a state of Grace. To me, this just makes sense. If we are living a Christian life, seeking God, going to confession and receiving Communion regularly, it makes sense that God will provide us, though his own sacraments, the Grace to remain in his friendship. Isn’t that what the sacraments are for? One of the effects of receiving Holy Communion is forgiveness of sin and preservation from sin. The same is true for the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

 

[Cat]

But honestly, how many of them do any of those past a certain age commit?

Obviously, I don’t know how many contracept in our parish, but I have to say, everybody I count as at least an acquaintance through church, just tries to struggle through the week caring for their family and neighbours in need, donating to appeals, and turning out for special services and prayer meetings when they can.

Some of these Examinations of Conscience absolutely stagger me as I can’t imagine anyone ordinarily decent doing some of the things listed, whether they are Catholic or not.

Right. That’s why I started this thread. I don’t see how so many Catholics can be committing so many mortal sins.

Of course, I do realize that on CAF, we have a lot of thoughtful members who are very concerned about their souls and their relationship with the Lord Jesus and His Church.

I don’t want anyone to think that I’m advocating dismissing venial sin. I’m well aware that it can eat into our souls and erode them. However, at each Mass, our venial sins are forgiven, so I don’t think we should overly-obsess about them. We need to put that energy into working on eliminating them from our lives.

I’ve heard a lot about “Catholic guilt.” Does anyone think that’s what’s going on?

 

[Denise1957]

Why would Catholics only go to confession to confess mortal sins? Is that what the Church prescribes?

 

[Cat]

I would say committing acts of grave matter continue fairly late into life. I have done marriage prep and NFP training for the last 6 years and I’d say 90%+ of couples we work with are either living together or civilly married while awaiting an annulment. We’ve had people that are not even civilly married ask how long they have to stop having sex to learn NFP. Uh… Until you are married? The vast majority admit to intending to use contraceptives even after our class clearly covers the catechism and Humanae Vitae. Many of those we are working with are often in their early 30s or entering second marriages in their early 40s. To be honest we are more likely to have a couple marrying at 22 that follows Church teaching than we are persons in their 30s and 40s.

I cannot speak to the subjective is they are committing mortal sin, but their acts are clearly grave matter from an objective standpoint.

The Pope has just declared the Year of Mercy.

Think about it. It makes sense that a young couple is not as concerned about pregnancy as an older couple.

A couple in their 30s is likely to already have several children, and they are involved in paying for schooling (even public schooling involves a lot of expense, and private schools are a major chunk of the family income). Once the children are in school, Mom (or Dad) might go back to work to bring in a second income to start a college fund. The grandparents are probably getting older and may require a lot of attention. Plus Mom and Dad themselves are getting older, slower, and possibly discovering health problems that they never had to worry about in their 20s.

It’s tough to add a baby to all that.

It’s very scary to have a baby in your 40s. Yes, I know that many women on CAF have had perfectly healthy babies while they were in their 40s. And I know that many families on CAF have children with Down’s Syndrome and testify that the child is an angel in their homes.

But it’s still scary. A lot of women in their 40s have a tough time of it during a pregnancy. And children with Downs grow up into adults with Downs, and that’s hard to deal with.

And yet, it’s very important for couples in their 30s and 40s to be making love as often as they can. These are the years when the “7 year itch” sets in, and couples can easily grow apart as they juggle children, aging parents, work and home duties, financial worries, diminishing health and personal appearance, and the reality of human mortality. Often during these years, the grass looks greener over the fence, and couples split.

So I think a little mercy is in order here. I doubt that many Catholics deliberately say, “I will never ever welcome another stinkin’ baby into my home! I treasure my sleep more than a human life!”

But I think that many Catholic couples are not certain that they can manage a bigger family than they expected, and they are afraid, and I believe that God takes that human fear into consideration when determining whether they are committing a mortal sin by using artificial contraception.

And it doesn’t help matters when so many Protestant churches teach that contraception is perfectly OK! Again, I’m sure God takes that into account, too.

 

[Denise1957]

The Pope has just declared the Year of Mercy.

Think about it.

Actually, Catholics have been thinking about “Mercy,” and mostly ONLY mercy, for the last 50 years or so. Maybe it’s time to have a balance between justice and mercy. That you have observed that there are a lot of Catholics who are partaking of the sacrament of Penance is not a bad thing. It is a good thing. You could ask the priests at your parish about whether or not it’s a good or bad thing that many Catholics are going to confession.

 

[JamalChristophr]

Why would Catholics only go to confession to confess mortal sins? Is that what the Church prescribes?

Powerful graces are received through confession. One is really short changing themselves to only go to confession for mortal sins. (I will put myself on this list, too, but I’d like to change that.)

 

[Brendan]

But I think that many Catholic couples are not certain that they can manage a bigger family than they expected, and they are afraid, and I believe that God takes that human fear into consideration when determining whether they are committing a mortal sin by using artificial contraception…

You are correct that fear can lessen the culpability ( but never remove it, it is intrinsically evil)

But what are they fearful of. If it maintaining a lifestyle, then that is actually materialism, and is no less a fault than the rich young man in Mt 19

If they are fearful that they will not be able to feed the child, then yes, that can lessen the culpability, but even then, the Church, in it’s Mercy, provides a legitimate alternative, NFP

The only ‘advantage’ of contraception is that it allows sex every day of the month.

So what exactly then becomes the fear, of giving up sexual convenience.

That is hardly likely to reduce culpability.

Imagine standing before the Throne of God at Judgment and trying to explain why one violated the Gift of Sexuality “Well God, we didn’t want another the Gift of another child because it might negatively impact our lifestyle, and we didn’t want to use NFP because we wanted to have nookie whenever we felt like it.”

Not a very convincing argument…

 

[Cat]

Actually, Catholics have been thinking about “Mercy,” and mostly ONLY mercy, for the last 50 years or so. Maybe it’s time to have a balance between justice and mercy. That you have observed that there are a lot of Catholics who are partaking of the sacrament of Penance is not a bad thing. It is a good thing. You could ask the priests at your parish about whether or not it’s a good or bad thing that many Catholics are going to confession.

In my OP, I didn’t mention Catholics in my parish going to Confession. I mentioned the numbers of posts and threads here on CAF by members worried about whether they have committed mortal sin.

I don’t have the ask the priests in my parish about Confession. I think it’s a good thing for Catholics to partake of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, even if and especially if they are confessing venial sins. As I have said several times in posts so far, we mustn’t take venial sins lightly, as they can mar our relationship with Jesus and His Church and lead us into more serious sins.

From my childhood (and my upbringing in the Evangelical Protestant church), I have been taught that we need to keep short accounts with God in regards to our sins. The longer we wait to bring them to God and appropriate His forgiveness, the easier it is to just let sin take over our lives and keep us away from God entirely. We need to repent quickly and confess so that we can remain in a state of grace and continue to grow closer to Jesus.

My question, based on the many posts and threads on CAF that I have noticed over the last ten years is, “Do regular Catholics (like me) really commit so many mortal sins? Really?!”

 

[ProVobis]

My question, based on the many posts and threads on CAF that I have noticed over the last ten years is, “Do regular Catholics (like me) really commit so many mortal sins? Really?!”

Have you checked Mass attendance lately, especially on Holy Days? Does everyone work on Jan 1 to excuse himself that day? Or is everyone convinced Mass on a Holy Day is just that not a big deal? And that’s only one sin.