Do regular Catholics (like me) really commit so many mortal sins? Really?!

[Cat]

Yes, but if we feel we’re no longer sinners, then of what value is Christianity to us?

Holiness is indeed a worthwhile goal, but Christ didn’t die for sin rationalization and intentional ignorance. And it seems there is plenty of that going around, I’m sorry.

And Cat, why do you feel there’s less likelihood that women are prone to sexual sin, et ceteris paribus? There seems to be an imbalance there somewhere.

God made women so that they are not aroused by sight. This means that I don’t look at a man, even my own husband, or a picture of a man, and instantly develop physical arousal. Women need preparation to become aroused–touch, atmosphere, good smells, quiet (or music), etc. Our arousal pattern is much slower than a man’s, and that gives us time to think about the sin and make a decision to not commit it.

Men are made by God to be aroused by sight. The mere sight of a woman/wife, or a picture of a woman, or even the thought of a woman’s body, will cause a man to become erect and aroused, and it happens so fast that often a man has only a few seconds to think about the sin and decide not to commit it. Older men might have a few more seconds, but it still happens really fast, and often, men get caught.

Read the book of Proverbs–I realize that the book is written by a father to his son. But all of the admonitions to avoid sex sins are addressed to men, not women. God knows humans.

 

[Catholic_farmer]

Actually, some women can be bothered by certain sexual thoughts. Perhaps it’s more of an idea than a simple picture. The key is to dismiss it as soon as you’re aware of it. Just chiming in so women who are troubled by this occasionally do not feel odd. Fortunately, we can block any outward signs of such thoughts as we dismiss them so as not to disturb anyone else. Women typically don’t leer at men.

That being said, the worst sexual harrassment from a stranger that I ever experienced was from a woman who clearly knew that I was straight. Perhaps some women are more troubled than others.

 

[ProVobis]

Actually, some women can be bothered by certain sexual thoughts.

Perhaps, though, this is a reaction to something seen or heard. My focus was more on who is the instigator of getting such reaction. Seems like the culpability rests with sometimes the man and sometimes the woman. Sometimes both are equally seductive.

 

[steve_b]

Men are made by God to be aroused by sight. The mere sight of a woman/wife, or a picture of a woman, or even the thought of a woman’s body, will cause a man to become erect and aroused, and it happens so fast that often a man has only a few seconds to think about the sin and decide not to commit it. Older men might have a few more seconds, but it still happens really fast, and often, men get caught.

A young monk asked a very old monk, when do these thoughts and desires leave us? The old monk thought…I’ve been told.… they leave 3 days after we are dead.

Kidding aside, (that’s an old joke), it’s not offered as any excuse. It just shows we (men) have to fight real hard against temptation, which can come fast

 

[switalabe]

Haha…nah, it’s not that bad! I’ve heard “it” leaves us five minutes after we’re dead, not three days.

 

[Millie123]

God made women so that they are not aroused by sight.

If this is true then why is porn addiction becoming a more pervasive problem among women?
theguardian.com/culture/2011/apr/07/women-addicted-internet-pornography

Current statistics show that about 17%, or as much as 20%, of women struggle with some form of cyber-sexual addiction. As many as 1 of 3 visitors to all adult websites are women.
covenanteyes.com/2008/05/08/not-just-a-mans-problem-women-and-porn-addiction/

 

[Cat]

If this is true then why is porn addiction becoming a more pervasive problem among women?
theguardian.com/culture/2011/apr/07/women-addicted-internet-pornography

Current statistics show that about 17%, or as much as 20%, of women struggle with some form of cyber-sexual addiction. As many as 1 of 3 visitors to all adult websites are women.
covenanteyes.com/2008/05/08/not-just-a-mans-problem-women-and-porn-addiction/

Watching people have sex in a porn video is arousing to many women as well as men.

People in porn movies don’t just walk around, talk, eat, and do “normal” things. They have sex, lots of sex, with lots of people, and many people (not all) are aroused by watching others have sex (or reading about others having sex; e.g., 50 Shades of Gray).

The reason more women are getting involved with pornography and becoming addicted to it is because porn is now available on the internet and women can watch it in privacy. This is very different than the old days when a person (man or woman) had to drive somewhere (probably in a dangerous section of town), park their car out in the open where anyone driving by could see, walk into a building, hand money to another human being, and only then be sequestered away in a little private room (or in the very old days, sit in a dark theater surrounded by others).

Ick. Most women would never do that. I would be afraid I would become a story on Dateline.

But now that women can watch porn online, they’re watching, and getting addicted.

But seeing a handsome man is definitely not the same as watching a porn video. Not even close!

Do you understand what I’m saying? A normal man will be aroused by the sight of a beautiful or even a plain woman who isn’t doing anything even remotely sexual and who is fully clothed. She can be sitting in a restaurant, doing household chores, watching a movie, and if a man glances at her and then keeps glancing, he will become aroused (get an erection, etc.). Younger men may become aroused just with one glance. It’s so easy for men to get aroused! (most men)

Of course if the woman is wearing clothing that reveals her figure, the man will be even more likely to keep glancing and eventually become aroused.

But a normal woman will NOT be aroused by the mere sight of a man. Even if the man is wearing a Speedo and nothing else, or even if the man is wearing his birthday suit, most women will not become physically aroused. They might be interested in meeting the man and getting to know him. But they won’t become aroused and they won’t experience physical desire or lust for him.

 

[ProVobis]

A normal man will be aroused by the sight of a beautiful or even a plain woman who isn’t doing anything even remotely sexual and who is fully clothed.

Yes, and women know this. That’s why in some cultures, they even hide their faces. I know this as I have Muslim neighbors, who are, btw, actually friendly.

 

[Millie123]

But a normal woman will NOT be aroused by the mere sight of a man. Even if the man is wearing a Speedo and nothing else, or even if the man is wearing his birthday suit, most women will not become physically aroused. They might be interested in meeting the man and getting to know him. But they won’t become aroused and they won’t experience physical desire or lust for him.

I’m sorry Cat, I just can’t get on board with this characterization of women’s sexuality. There are many women who do become aroused at the site of men, especially their husbands. Whether they are watching their spouse post taking a shower, or doing mundane things such as shaving, putting a baby to bed, washing dishes, making dinner. The site of the spouse in even these mundane events can be exceptionally arousing. From your description of women’s sexuality, it seems like you are describing woman’s sexuality as being basically impotent. It seems that you are saying that it is normal for woman to not be sexually attracted to men, especially their husbands, and then calling that normal.

 

[Vico]

…

Read the book of Proverbs–I realize that the book is written by a father to his son. But all of the admonitions to avoid sex sins are addressed to men, not women. God knows humans.

Sin arises from ignorance, passion, and malice. However “sex sins” encompass a range of commandments: fifth (scandal), sixth (acts), eighth (lying or deception), ninth (thoughts). There is a grave sin in planning to carry out any “sex sin” and these may not be arousing at all. Some are motivated by favors to be obtained from men through the lure of a sexual nature (including social role). One form of “sex sin” is a way of dressing to induce favors from a man or men. There are plenty of sins committed by women, as enumerated here, in the Bible. Don’t you agree?

 

[turtle18]

But a normal woman will NOT be aroused by the mere sight of a man. Even if the man is wearing a Speedo and nothing else, or even if the man is wearing his birthday suit, most women will not become physically aroused. They might be interested in meeting the man and getting to know him. But they won’t become aroused and they won’t experience physical desire or lust for him.

Bawhah!! As a female who regularly goes to the pool, I can tell you my opinion of a man who wears a Speedo is very low. It is most definitely unmasculine. All I can think about is how gross Speedos are and what is wrong with the man for wearing them i.e. he must be a pervert or an egomaniac. Sorry to stereotype, but your comments had me rolling on the floor laughing: particularly they might be interested and getting to know him.

 

[Cat]

Can we please nix the discussion about sex and women? This has nothing to do with the topic that I started, and it has nothing to do with liturgy and sacraments. It’s a family life issue. Thank you.

My statements about sexual arousal and men/women are from medical sources and are not just my opinion. Of course, I realize that many of you don’t trust medical sources, so we are at impasse.

Let me just say this, though, in case younger women and couples are lurking and reading this thread. Wise Cat believes that insisting that men and women are the same when it comes to arousal is asking for trouble. A woman gets married and both she and her husband expects her to be aroused in 1 minute, especially if the husband is really handsome, and when she doesn’t get aroused in 1 minute, both spouses think that she is frigid, and the sex life goes downhill. No no no. A woman’s arousal pattern is very different than a man’s and it doesn’t happen just by the sight of a man. Of course there are exceptions, but as a general rule, men are aroused by sight and women are aroused by touch. It’s the way God made us.

The implication of this for mortal sin is that men have less time to walk away from temptation because they can get aroused so quickly and just by sight. Women usually have a few more minutes or longer to think things through and let the logical side of their brains argue with their hearts and make a decision to resist the temptation and find something else to do.

 

[Cat]

Bawhah!! As a female who regularly goes to the pool, I can tell you my opinion of a man who wears a Speedo is very low. It is most definitely unmasculine. All I can think about is how gross Speedos are and what is wrong with the man for wearing them i.e. he must be a pervert or an egomaniac. Sorry to stereotype, but your comments had me rolling on the floor laughing: particularly they might be interested and getting to know him.

This just proves what I said. You’re not aroused by the sight of a typical man.

However, a man will get aroused even at the sight of a normal-looking female in a swimsuit.

A lot of women think they can get away with wearing barely-there clothing, or clothing that reveals cleavage, or suggestive clothing, because they are fat (or think they are fat). But for many men, “fat” doesn’t matter–if the woman looks like a woman (with a figure), a man will become aroused at the sight of her. In fact, a lot of men prefer a woman with a figure instead of a woman who looks like a boy.

For a lot of men, that little “stomach pooch” that many women are so ashamed of is a signal that this woman has had children, which makes her even more sexually-appealing to many men. Many men get aroused at the sight of a pregnant woman! Fertility is sexy to men.

I don’t know why you should roll on the floor and laugh at the idea of getting to know a man. Just because a man looks gross (in your view) in a Speedo is no reason to write him off. Most people look unattractive in their swimsuits if we appraise them with “Hollywood eyes.” But the person inside may be the friendliest, kindest person we’ve ever run across.

Many men have fragile egos and are convinced that no woman in the world will ever be interested in them, and so they are lonely and frustrated sexually (and no wonder they have a hard time with sexual sins like masturbation and viewing porn). I think that women, particularly single women, need to take a chance and reach out to men who appear to be searching for a mate. And even married women should speak kindly to men if they have the opportunity and affirm that man’s worth. Making contacts with fellow human beings is what Jesus did throughout His earthly life, and He didn’t limit His reaching out to people who appealed to Him.

 

[Cat]

I’m sorry Cat, I just can’t get on board with this characterization of women’s sexuality. There are many women who do become aroused at the site of men, especially their husbands. Whether they are watching their spouse post taking a shower, or doing mundane things such as shaving, putting a baby to bed, washing dishes, making dinner. The site of the spouse in even these mundane events can be exceptionally arousing. From your description of women’s sexuality, it seems like you are describing woman’s sexuality as being basically impotent. It seems that you are saying that it is normal for woman to not be sexually attracted to men, especially their husbands, and then calling that normal.

I disagree that many women are sexually-aroused by the sight of a man. I’m talking about sexual arousal here–swelling of the erectile tissue, a rush of heat to the breasts, production of lubricant in the vagina. This doesn’t happen to most women at the mere SIGHT of a man.

Now it MAY happen when they see or even THINK about their husbands, but this isn’t just because of the mere SIGHT of him. There is a whole sexual life that will come into play when a woman sees (or thinks about) her husband. She will remember the sexual encounter of the previous evening, or perhaps sexual encounters of the past, and this, along with the woman’s LOVE for her husband and her appreciation for all the kind things that he does for her and the children, will cause her to begin to become aroused.

But there is no way that a woman will be instantly ready for sex at the sight of even her husband in the same way that most men, especially teenagers and younger men, are instantly ready for sex when they see a woman. No way. It’s not the way women are made physically. Their bodies just can’t do that. During ovulation, a woman’s arousal pattern changes and she can be “ready” much quicker–makes sense, since the point of ovulation is to be able to conceive a child. But during much of the woman’s cycle, she just isn’t able to get aroused so quickly.

And that’s why this whole sexual topic came up in this particular thread. The point is that a woman has TIME to walk away from the temptation to commit a sexual sin (mainly masturbation and viewing porn, but also fornication, adultery, etc.), and many women DO manage to say “no” to sexual temptation, and so Satan doesn’t bother them with it too often. But many men have only a few seconds before they are fully erect and ready to go for it, and it’s simply not as easy for them to walk away (that’s not meant to be a joke). Men, especially young men (teenagers) need to be aware of this, and that Satan will go after them big-time trying to make them commit sexual sin, and they need to train themselves and discipline themselves not to give in just because their body does what it is designed to do–get erect at the sight of a woman.

 

[Jean_Anthony]

OP’s question has been answered. Thank you everyone.