Do the majority of practicing Catholics use contraception

[mercygate]

You’re right, I suppose that there are many “lukewarms” on these forums, but I have my doubts about their desire to answer a poll either honestly or at all. Unless they’re outwardly defiant of the Church’s correct teaching on this, I believe guilt and/or shame will prevent most from answering the poll, let alone commenting within the thread. I would expect those who do not contracept have no difficulty answering the poll, hence the great disparity in results.

We have a number of Catholic friends who contracept and seem to have an endless list of ‘medical’ reasons identified as justification to offset the sinfulness of their choice. Admittedly, hearing all of those reasons wear a little thin on my wife and I. My dear wife has a serious, chronic disease that makes pregnancy very, very risky, yet she chooses not to contracept. She has faced the most serious warnings from doctors and other medical professionals about the dire consequences should she become pregnant again, yet she refuses their prescriptions for the pill. She maintains that if it happens, it happens and we’ll just deal with it. I cannot tell you just how proud I am of her.

Dear St. and Mrs. St. Cargo: how many years? God love ya!

 

[cargopilot]

Dear St. and Mrs. St. Cargo: how many years? God love ya!

Thank you. I’m no saint, she is. We’ve been married over 20 years and have had four kids. Two died at birth and two lived. One can’t walk too well, but we’re blessed to have them both. Probably a topic for another thread, but in addition to the medical professional’s stringent admonishment to her insistence of no ABC, she was advised during all pregnancies, to strongly consider avoiding continuance of her pregnancies. They were ‘saving’ us from the heartache of being “burdened” with a disabled child.

 

[mercygate]

Thank you. I’m no saint, she is. We’ve been married over 20 years and have had four kids. Two died at birth and two lived. One can’t walk too well, but we’re blessed to have them both. Probably a topic for another thread, but in addition to the medical professional’s stringent admonishment to her insistence of no ABC, she was advised during all pregnancies, to strongly consider avoiding continuance of her pregnancies. They were ‘saving’ us from the heartache of being “burdened” with a disabled child.

I still go for a double canonization. You are an inspiration.

 

[JoyfulServant]

This is a subject near and dear to me.
As I was raised Baptist, I never saw any problem at all with contraception. I used various pills and contraptions to prevent having a baby from my teens until my mid 20s. And I hated every single one of them. Weight gain, horrible headaches, depression, inconvenience, expense, constant fear that they would fail (as they did for many of my friends), seeing young women admitted to the hospital with strokes and pulmonary embolisms and worrying that this would happen to me…I tell ya, I hated them.
Yet when I was preparing to marry a Catholic man in the Catholic Church, I was absolutely not going to give up my contraception. Not because I thought it was some great thing, but because…what choice did I have? I was duped into believing that the worst possible thing that could happen to me was to have a bunch of kids. A bunch of kids was surely what I would have if I didn’t have contraception. Putting up with the bad effects of contraception was a necessary evil.
At our pre-Cana, I went into the lecture on NFP rolling my eyes and with my arms crossed. I was a nurse. I knew all about this stuff…it was a bunch of behind-the-times, ineffective hooey. I thank God that I was blessed with a speaker who was heavy into research and evidence-based practice and who gave me lots of food for thought and places to research further. And along with convincing evidence on NFP being as reliable as contraception, I was first led to the moral aspects of using contraception and the Catholic Church’s teachings on marriage. Wow. This was some deep stuff, and I was blown away by the beauty of it all. It was so different from what I had witnessed in my life. It was what I wanted without even knowing I wanted it. It was an answer to prayers that were so deep inside me that I didn’t know I was praying them. It has blessed our marriage and our lives beyond words.
(I now work side-by-side with that woman who was afraid she was going to melt under my glares. She and her husband are godparents to two of my children!)

And honestly ya’ll…this is just personal here…if pregnancy would be life-threatening for me, I would feel much more at peace using strict NFP (limiting relations to phase 3 infertility) than any contraception out there. My first child was conceived while on the pill, and that one has been my only “surprise”. In my line of work, I hear all the time “well, I was using when I got pregnant!” I have seen women have “repeat tubal ligation” after delivering babies. I have known couples who have conceived after vasectomies. They aren’t foolproof. Not only that, but if I already have health issues, why would I want to add more problems and risks on top of them?

Naturally, since I have stumbled across a secret that has brought such benefits and blessing to my marriage, I want to share it with everyone I know! And that’s how I approach it. Rather than standing on a soapbox and preaching, I prefer sharing with girlfriends over coffee…“Hey, have you heard about this?!” Since I am a RN working in OB areas and somewhat of a “hippie” (according to my friends and coworkers ), I tend to approach it from that direction, sharing my personal experiences. After folks have warmed up to the idea that their life won’t end if they throw away their pills, then I can share some of the moral aspects. Maybe that’s kind of an underhanded way to go about it, but if it will help people to hear the message, I’m all about it! I have heard soooo many people say that NFP was the bridge that took them from “contraceptive mentality” to “open to life”. I have also heard many conversion stories from folks who have said that the Church’s teachings on the sanctity of life and marriage was the beginning of their journey home.

So that’s my long-winded ramblings. If you’ve read this whole thing, I’ll give you a homemade brownie.

 

[setter]

I cannot stand when I read on this forum that someone is not a Catholic if they “abc or d”. Are you perfect? Do you EVER swear? Do you ever take the Lord’s name in vain? Have you ever cheated, stole, lied, coveted, etc? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you are also not a Catholic by your same standards.

Ok, off my soapbox now.

Here is the the “soapbox” gospel message of salvation that Jesus proclaimed and warned his would be followers of in no uncertain terms for the eternal welfare and destiny of our souls. Note the present tense operative “Strive to …”. Each and every Catholic of good will must daily examine their effort (in thought, word, deed, and desire) to daily take up their cross and follow after Jesus if they are to enjoy life to the full and share in the eternal life and love of the three Persons of the holy Trinity. There is no way around the merciful words of Jesus as to the effort required of believers in order to be saved.

‘And some one said to him, “Lord, will those who are saved be few?” And he said to them, "Strive to enter by the narrow door; for many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able. When once the householder has risen up and shut the door, you will begin to stand outside and to knock at the door, saying, Lord, open to us.' He will answer you, I do not know where you come from.’ Then you will begin to say, We ate and drank in your presence, and you taught in our streets.' But he will say, I tell you, I do not know where you come from; depart from me, all you workers of iniquity!’ There you will weep and gnash your teeth, when you see Abraham and Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God and you yourselves thrust out." Luke 13: 23-28

 

[newbetx]

I cannot stand when I read on this forum that someone is not a Catholic if they “abc or d”. Are you perfect? Do you EVER swear? Do you ever take the Lord’s name in vain? Have you ever cheated, stole, lied, coveted, etc? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you are also not a Catholic by your same standards.

Ok, off my soapbox now.

Bingo! I know how you feel. I post on the “are you a Cafeteria Catholic?” thread. Apparently, some folks state that you can not be a Catholic if you are not attempting to follow all the rules, all the time. Apparently, based on posters here, you can sin and be Catholic, you just can’t be guilty of certain sins (or be in a state perpetual sin due to rejection, pride, arrogance or a multitude of other human conditions) and be considered by some here to still be a Catholic…

It would appear that there is much pride by some folks to be considered Catholic and if we don’t agree with a position of the Church, then they don’t want us to be associated with them. Some make it appear that we should go away and not darken the door of “their” Church.

Well, I’m pretty sure I’m not qualified to throw a stone at anyone. So I won’t call those who sin or are in self denial any names or tell them to go away… I just pray that I’m blessed with the Holy Spirit and an opportunity to change their heart.

Thanks for sharing your soap box with me!

I will have to admit that I was once one of those prideful people that thought the popes had no business in the bedroom. I finally learned, actually understood, what the TOB is all about. It saved my marriage and I hope it can inspire my children.

ABC, and the self indulgence that it promotes, is the cornerstone of much of what is bad in our culture. It is portrayed as a birthright. (Ironic, isn’t it?) It will be difficult “to get the genie back in the bottle” as it is said, but we must all try to do our part. Criticism of the ignorant won’t do that. Honest communications and testimony as I see here, often, does work.

Lord, grant us your Love and Peace. Enable us to accept the Holy Spirit to guide others in our journey. Almighty Father, help us to overcome our pride and prejudice and submit to your will. Give us the strength to confront injustice, ignorance and arrogance. Through Christ, our Lord, Amen.

 

[Catholig]

Bingo! I know how you feel. I post on the “are you a Cafeteria Catholic?” thread. Apparently, some folks state that you can not be a Catholic if you are not attempting to follow all the rules, all the time. Apparently, based on posters here, you can sin and be Catholic, you just can’t be guilty of certain sins (or be in a state perpetual sin due to rejection, pride, arrogance or a multitude of other human conditions) and be considered by some here to still be a Catholic…

It would appear that there is much pride by some folks to be considered Catholic and if we don’t agree with a position of the Church, then they don’t want us to be associated with them. Some make it appear that we should go away and not darken the door of “their” Church.

Well, I’m pretty sure I’m not qualified to throw a stone at anyone. So I won’t call those who sin or are in self denial any names or tell them to go away… I just pray that I’m blessed with the Holy Spirit and an opportunity to change their heart.

Thanks for sharing your soap box with me!

I will have to admit that I was once one of those prideful people that thought the popes had no business in the bedroom. I finally learned, actually understood, what the TOB is all about. It saved my marriage and I hope it can inspire my children.

ABC, and the self indulgence that it promotes, is the cornerstone of much of what is bad in our culture. It is portrayed as a birthright. (Ironic, isn’t it?) It will be difficult “to get the genie back in the bottle” as it is said, but we must all try to do our part. Criticism of the ignorant won’t do that. Honest communications and testimony as I see here, often, does work.

Lord, grant us your Love and Peace. Enable us to accept the Holy Spirit to guide others in our journey. Almighty Father, help us to overcome our pride and prejudice and submit to your will. Give us the strength to confront injustice, ignorance and arrogance. Through Christ, our Lord, Amen.

Underlining and Bolding Mine.

Bingo! If you don’t even attempt to follow the Church then you’re a Cafeteria Catholic. Contraception, & other similar sins are ones that take a LOT of concious effort. You don’t accidentally take the pill - like one may accidentally swear (and that isn’t to excuse swearing we should try to get rid of those faults as well!!!). And BTW I’m not saying I’m perfect I know that I’m not.

Catholig

 

[MomMareike]

I´m a catholic and never used artificially contraceptions.
We used NFP before 2006.
I´m without birth control since 2006

 

[cbaltazar]

Before we were TTC & before I went through RCIA I ad used artificial birth control pills. Then, about 2 months before completing the RCIA program we began to use NFP. Now we are using NFP to TTC. Hopefully it will work soon!

 

[thenewmrssears]

I think this is a tough question.

When Nathan and I first discussed NFP, birth control pills, IUDs, condoms, whatever, we were ill-informed about NFP…completely and utterly. The Diocese gave us an hour information session at pre-cana, and I walked out of it completely unsure how I could go through life using it. It was rushed, poorly put together, and I felt very one-sided. There was absolutely no explanation why the Church supported NFP over other methods.

On my own I picked up a few books from the library and began the education process. I knew that it was the way I wanted to go, but I didn’t know why other than it was what the Church expected of me, and what I planned on doing…but I had no idea how.

There are times when I think “it would be so much easier to pop a pill” on those mornings when I am tired, but up taking my temperature. I am not ready to have kids by any means. It was never my intention to get married and have children right away, and that makes it harder sometimes. I worry about finding myself pregnant years before I planned…having to drop out of grad school, give up my dreams of moving to Dubai, and a number of other things.

I don’t know many people in real life who use NFP. Even most of my closest Catholic friends [who I believe are good Catholics otherwise] use some form of birth control. It is tough. In a world where women are becoming extremely career-oriented, I am more than willing to admit this is a topic I have discussed with friends often. In our house, I have the higher income and the better job. It would be a lie to say that the thought has never crept into my head that a pregnancy now would have lasting effects on my career.

I guess I am saying I can understand the battle that people face on this topic. While NFP is working great for us [as it does for most people], sometimes the education on NFP is lacking. You do hear that it is just the old rhythm method. Plus, I’ll be honest…the tracking is extremely overwhelming when you first hear what you must do. It isn’t until you start **doing it **that you realize it isn’t “that bad.” I couldn’t believe I was expected to follow the routine each day! After a week I realized it wasn’t that bad.

Did this make sense? Sorry it is so long.

 

[sharmin]

Actually NO practicing Catholics use contraception. If they are practicing their faith, they are not contracepting. Period.

Actually, I disagree with this. Practicing Catholics sin, don’t they? That’s like saying anyone who gets drunk cannot possibly be a practicing Catholic. Or anyone who lies cannot be. Or anyone who has lustful thoughts on a regular basis. That’s just not biblical.

 

[JKS]

When we were first married, (and before ), we used ABC, and we didn’t hear much about NFP until after we’d been married 11 years. Then we moved here, and heard our first-ever sermon about it! We quickly decided that since it still was a sin, after all, and it didn’t work (we’d just had our fifth child-our third unplanned pregnancy!) we were pretty dumb if we didn’t give it a try.

We have eight now, and the ‘wall’ doesn’t go up if you use humor, especially self-deprecating humor. (See above story) Stay calm and nonjudgmental. Facts help, too. I tell people that there’s two kinds of contraceptives: the kind that doesn’t work, and the kind that’s really bad for you-and the environment! Did you read what ABC, flushed down toilets for all these years, is doing to male trout?

I usually am responding in a defensive position (ie I rarely bring it up, but I get LOTS of comments about our family size, but I’m not defensive about it), and I tell them that it has improved our marriage, that I feel more respected. Humanae Vitae’s section #17 is a good place to direct people to start, if they haven’t actually read it and they start with the “dead white guys” bit.

(If they still are snarky, I tell them they’re being intolerant of my alternative lifestyle.)

 

[mercygate]

When we were first married, (and before ), we used ABC, and we didn’t hear much about NFP until after we’d been married 11 years. Then we moved here, and heard our first-ever sermon about it! We quickly decided that since it still was a sin, after all, and it didn’t work (we’d just had our fifth child-our third unplanned pregnancy!) we were pretty dumb if we didn’t give it a try.

We have eight now, and the ‘wall’ doesn’t go up if you use humor, especially self-deprecating humor. (See above story) Stay calm and nonjudgmental. Facts help, too. I tell people that there’s two kinds of contraceptives: the kind that doesn’t work, and the kind that’s really bad for you-and the environment! Did you read what ABC, flushed down toilets for all these years, is doing to male trout?

I usually am responding in a defensive position (ie I rarely bring it up, but I get LOTS of comments about our family size, but I’m not defensive about it), and I tell them that it has improved our marriage, that I feel more respected. Humanae Vitae’s section #17 is a good place to direct people to start, if they haven’t actually read it and they start with the “dead white guys” bit.

(If they still are snarky, I tell them they’re being intolerant of my alternative lifestyle.)

My laugh o’ the day. I also start with “dead White guys” and I add “in dresses.”

Did you see the article posted a couple of weeks ago? “NFP Stinks!” It’s a riot. The author states that NFP is “the worst possible method except for all the others.”

 

[a_cermak]

An occasional slip up while trying to live a holy life is NOT the same as a continued firm choice to*** purposely*** disobey. You have to CHOOSE to take that pill every morning, or buy those condoms, or whatever. An occasional swear word is not the same as a pre-meditated act of refusing to not only disobey Church teaching, but a slap in the face to God Himself, who we should trust enough to do what is good for us.

If I can’t trust God with my fertility (or lack thereof in my case), then how can I trust Him with anything else? THAT is the real question. Most of the people who use ABC do not trust God. They prefer to take matters into their own hands. The sin of presumption. And pride. Same one Lucifer made–that he thought he knew better than God. I KNOW I’m not as smart as God, and if He chooses to give me a child or not, His decision is always going to be better than MY decision. Always.

The most common form of birth control in the US is sterilization! Which could be construed as a one time slip up that keeps giving benefits.

Even back in the 50’s after 4 or 5 children it wasn’t uncommon for a Catholic woman to have a hysterectomy for “health reasons.” One of the reasons for it, I’ve heard, was it was better to have one sin committed once than have to confess condom usage every week (or now days, taking the pill daily).

If you’re looking at sin, I’m not sure that kind of literalist attitude toward it is any better than the current style of people making their own decisions and living with the consequences.

 

[JKS]

mercygate,
“Simcha Fisher is astonished to find herself a homeschooling mother of seven. She lives in a shoe in New Hampshire.”

LOL! Thank you for the link, this was my favorite part. I always laughingly admit to people that if I’d known on our wedding day, that I would have eight kids, I would have said, “Um, I just remembered I left something in the car. I’ll be riiiight back, 'kay?” I’d have left BOTH glass slippers behind, I’m tellin’ you. :bigyikes:

 

[thomfra]

I don’t see a problem with contraception. I am aware of the RCC stance on it. The reasoning behind this stance. I understand it.
I just don’t agree with it.

Does that make me “non-practicing”? Yeah. Maybe.

Does it make a difference to me what label other people put on me?

No. Not at all.

 

[thomfra]

Actually, I disagree with this. Practicing Catholics sin, don’t they? That’s like saying anyone who gets drunk cannot possibly be a practicing Catholic. Or anyone who lies cannot be. Or anyone who has lustful thoughts on a regular basis. That’s just not biblical.

But those people can just front up and say “I know it’s a sin”. I’m sorry, and wham bam! they are a “practicing catholic” again.

 

[JKS]

Thomfra,
What section of Humanae Vitae do you disagree with? If you haven’t read it, will you at least read section 17? Those predictions of Pope Paul VI’s that came true are tragic, don’t you think? Thanks for your honesty.

 

[Pinkyyy]

Okay, hope I don’t get jumped on for this…I technically am not catholic, but have been through RCCA, and I attend mass with my husband at a CC church in our area. We do use ABC - personally I would love to be one of these women who don’t have to worry about having children, but facts are that I practically died while having our first child, and it’s risky for me. I don’t think God is black and white (whis is where the I hope don’t get jumped on comes in, lol), and I have not made this decision without talking to my husband and more than one priest. I know there are women who have had risky pregnancies and still don’t use birth control. I don’t know their situation but I came down with my pregnancy condition within a matter of a couple of hours and was hemmeroging and practically not breathing in that short time when normally it takes days, weeks, months to get that bad. Not only that, my son’s life was put in jepordy and was born very early.

 

[thomfra]

Thomfra,
What section of Humanae Vitae do you disagree with? If you haven’t read it, will you at least read section 17? Those predictions of Pope Paul VI’s that came true are tragic, don’t you think? Thanks for your honesty.

Mainly the bit where the Church has a free rein to define “natural law” - which is essentially where it all stems from… I think that’s an add in to cover things that aren’t in the bible which don’t make much sense.

In fact most of the things I have a problem with are based on the church saying “well, natural law says…”.