Do they really need to have there own rooms?

  • Thread starter Thread starter annemjones96
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
A

annemjones96

Guest
Hello everyone. I am fairly new here. I have posted in a couple other threads but this is my first time starting one here.

Here is my situation. We live in a suburb of Philadelphia. This is not an inexpensive area of the country ( or even the state) to live in. A few years ago we bought the house we are now living in. It was very difficult. We were having a hard time finding a house in our price range. Every night I would pray that we could find something. I didn’t care if it was huge. Just big enough to fit my two boys and my child that was on the way and my husband and I. And that it would be in a school district that would be able to help my oldest who we knew was autistic at the time. After much searching we found a house. A small three bedroom 2 bath house. The school district has a wonderful autism program and we are finding that even more of a blessing now because we have found that our second boy also has autism. It was very nerve wracking because at first the payments were almost a stretch. They have become a little more comfortable (meaning all our bills can now be payed on time and we have no debt other than car payments and mortgage payments). I also have a very partime job with very flexible hours. It doesn’t bring in a lot of money, but it helps with the groceries. We are happy here. But, we are starting to get pressure from both my parents and my husbands parents to move into a larger house. I personally don’t see the need. It would strain us finacially. Plus we have enough room. They keep telling us that when the kids get older that they will need more space. Am I crazy? I have seen families in small houses and the kids came out fine. I’ve seen families larger than ours in the same size house and they were fine. So, does the size of the house matter? I see this house as a blessing. There are people out there worse off than we are. My husband and I think our money is better spent on the care of our children and their future. Also, I am going back to school come this fall to finish my teaching degree. This is not something that we decided lightly. It took a lot of thought and prayer from both my husband and I. So, for those out there who have children, what do you think? Is having their room that important? I grew up as on of two only children. Meaning my parents had my sister and I 13 years apart, so we didn’t grow up together. Plus they have always have lived in a 4 bedroom house (still do). My husband has one sister and his parents also have a 4 bedroom house. So, we have never had to share a room. Now, granted my boys are still young (4 and 7) but they like to be together. I know this may not always be the case. So, any insight is appreciated. Am I wrong to look at our house as a blessing? My mother in law seems to think so. Thanks.
 
How many years spaced is there between your children? I would simply say that the oldest gets his own room, and then when he moves out the next in line can have his room. I do not think it is unreasonable to have 2 boys share a room, it would be nice if the could each have their own room, but not necessary. I gues it also depends on the size of the rooms. If you ever have more then 4 children, then I would without a doubt invest in a larger house.
 
Partitions are inexpensive (think scrap lumber and fabric) and can be used in whichever bedroom you choose to have two of the boys “bunk” in.

I shared with my sister until she moved out/ married. We’re still close. (And we have a 5 year age difference and even lived, relatively peacefully, through the teen years, in the 60s in Philly, yet–we were near the Bucks County Line up in Northeast Philly).

I think you should trust your own instincts and not allow others to impose their views of what your family life “should be” upon you.

God bless.
 
Don’t worry about what your parents think. They are not living your lives. Kindly explain to them that you are all happy where you are at and if it gets as bad as they say it will, you will move at that time.

Personally we are a family of six in a 3 bedroom bungalo with 1.5 baths. We are quite happy. The three girls share the bigger room upstairs and the boy in one of the bedrooms downstairs. We love our house payment. We are able to do so much more as a family because we are not financially strapped. We also believe that the size of our house doesn’t define who we are. We like the location and so do the kids.

Stand strong in what you two have decided! I applaud your desicion. Society is moving the material way, you can get off the ride and experience all that Christ has to offer you. Your sacrifice, and it is a sacrifice, will not be unpaid.

A fellow compadre living in a small house,😃
Jen
 
No, your kids don’t all need their own rooms. I grew up in a two bedroom one bath house. I’m the oldest, I lived in what you would call the dinning room, smack dab in the middle of the house between the kitchen, living room and hallway; only one door in the room between that room and the hall. Two sisters had another room, parents, obviously had their own. It wasn’t the greatest, but we survived. I, didn’t like it, but so what. Things were a bit tight and we lived with it. I don’t advocate this for everyone, but it’s not like it is child abuse. Love in the family goes much further than private rooms.

John
 
40.png
annemjones96:
Hello everyone. I am fairly new here. I have posted in a couple other threads but this is my first time starting one here.

Here is my situation. We live in a suburb of Philadelphia. This is not an inexpensive area of the country ( or even the state) to live in. A few years ago we bought the house we are now living in. It was very difficult. We were having a hard time finding a house in our price range. Every night I would pray that we could find something. I didn’t care if it was huge. Just big enough to fit my two boys and my child that was on the way and my husband and I. And that it would be in a school district that would be able to help my oldest who we knew was autistic at the time. After much searching we found a house. A small three bedroom 2 bath house. The school district has a wonderful autism program and we are finding that even more of a blessing now because we have found that our second boy also has autism. It was very nerve wracking because at first the payments were almost a stretch. They have become a little more comfortable (meaning all our bills can now be payed on time and we have no debt other than car payments and mortgage payments). I also have a very partime job with very flexible hours. It doesn’t bring in a lot of money, but it helps with the groceries. We are happy here. But, we are starting to get pressure from both my parents and my husbands parents to move into a larger house. I personally don’t see the need. It would strain us finacially. Plus we have enough room. They keep telling us that when the kids get older that they will need more space. Am I crazy? I have seen families in small houses and the kids came out fine. I’ve seen families larger than ours in the same size house and they were fine. So, does the size of the house matter?** I see this house as a blessing.** There are people out there worse off than we are. My husband and I think our money is better spent on the care of our children and their future. Also, I am going back to school come this fall to finish my teaching degree. This is not something that we decided lightly. It took a lot of thought and prayer from both my husband and I. So, for those out there who have children, what do you think? Is having their room that important? I grew up as on of two only children. Meaning my parents had my sister and I 13 years apart, so we didn’t grow up together. Plus they have always have lived in a 4 bedroom house (still do). My husband has one sister and his parents also have a 4 bedroom house. So, we have never had to share a room. Now, granted my boys are still young (4 and 7) but they like to be together. I know this may not always be the case. So, any insight is appreciated. Am I wrong to look at our house as a blessing? My mother in law seems to think so. Thanks.
Click to expand...
I think you have the answer to your question… (I’ve bolded my evidence for this in your post.) And I support your decision in this. You sound competent, faithful, and like a loving family. There is nothing wrong living in close quarters.

I remember when only rich people had more than one bathroom…

My mom remembers when only rich people had a bathroom AT ALL! 😃

I was the only girl of three children. My brothers shared a room. I obviously got my own space. It sometimes was lonely, but I appreciated my own space. I would not hesitate to keep my children in the same room if other options would strain the family financially.

Finish your degree, then consider moving. 👍
 
i say if they have no problem sharing a room, let them do it. i had to spend three years sharing a room with my younger brother, due to having to move into a smaller apartment that my mother could better afford. although it’s a little tougher when you aren’t both boys or girls, but we still had fun and having been older knew that there were times when the other couldn’t be there.
besides if they want to stay together they are going to. my boyfriend is a twin, and him and his brother slept in the same room together for most of their lives despite having their own rooms. so no use putting financial strain on yourself if you don’t need to.
 
I have a small 3-bedroom home. My 2 girls are 6 years apart and share a room. My son has own room. My son actually complains that he’s lonely!!! It doesn’t appear to be in the cards for more kids for us, but if had more, we’d stay in this house and make do. I shared a room with my sister who was 9 years younger than me. We talk several times a day and are very close now. I never had a problem sharing a room. I think it helps kids to be more generous to one another and fosters a closer relationship.

God Bless
Giannawannabe
 
We have four boys - 13-yr-old twins, 11-yrs, 6-yrs. We live in a small 3 BR house. We also homeschool. Although when we built the house 14 yrs ago, it was a financial stretch, it is now very manageable and we have money to save each month. We could easily afford a larger house, but have made the decision not to move because, 1) we love where we live, 2) it’s a great blessing not to have constant financial pressure, and 3) we don’t want our kids to have their own rooms. We have two sets of bunk beds and they seem fine with that. I like the lessons learned from having to share a room. On the weekends they often get their sleeping bags out and all sleep in the same room. If we had a 4th room, we’d probably keep it as a guest room.

Another huge benefit to having an affordable house is that we can afford to get a way every year on a family vacation, which builds our family relationships. It all comes down to what is important to you and your husband. If you really think a larger house is important for your family, then there’s certainly nothing wrong with it. But, don’t let others pressure you into adapting their priorities.

Blessings,
 
No, kids don’t need to have their own bedrooms. But,they should have a little space they can call their own, even if it’s only a corner.

I have an aunt in California who had 11 kids. And not a big house. Their beds were EVERYWHERE, even in the hallways. No child had his own bedroom. Dressers were everywhere, any place there was space. They all turned out just fine.

It’s more important that kids learn how to get along, share, be considerate of others, and be willing to sacrifice for others. How can they do that if they can always retreat to their own private rooms whenever something doesn’t please them?

That’s my two cents.

Mary Fran
 
Thanks everyone this does help a lot. My older two are boys and the youngest is a girl which is why she gets her own room. The boys have a bunk bed (which they love) and they each have a little desk (it is actually a fold down table that hangs on the wall) and a shelf for their personal items. They are all about 2 years apart. My kids are very close to eachother. And we are a close family. It is so nice considering that is not what either my husband or I came from.

Oh and tantum ergo, we live a few miles on the other side of that line. In fact the university I am attending is in the NE, Holy Family.
 
Well, before my parents remodelled, my sister and I shared a room (though this was when we were younger). Now, I’ll admit that it is awfully nice having my own room, and being able to have my own space for those times when I just need to be alone is great (and I don’t like it when my stuff gets moved so this helps too). But, I am sure I could deal with not having my own room. Hey, my parents, my sister, and I all lived in one room for almost a year while our house was being remodeled, and it wasn’t too difficult. Everybody just kept their stuff neat, and we didn’t have a problem.

My aunt has seven children and they all shared rooms (except the only boy, he got his own room) and they have had no problems. Even with the two oldest girls and the boy off at college, the younger ones still insist on sharing rooms.

I know lots of people who share rooms, and they are all fine with it. I think the most extreme example is my friend who lives in Venice Beach. He is one of three, and is about 6’2". Both his brothers are the same size, and they live in one room that is literally about 10" by 15". There is stuff everywhere, but they don’t mind (and the rest of the house is tiny as well, analogous to their bedroom). So, I think whatever you think is right goes, but sharing rooms works just fine in my opinion (but don’t tell my sister I said that 😉 😛 )

Eamon
 
We have 3 teens in a 3 bedroom townhouse. The girls (19 and 14) share a room and the boy (17) has his own. —KCT
 
The only reason I would think that you would possibly have a need to give each child their own room is due to the autism. I don’t know a lot about the condition, but it may be that their space needs at some point in time warrant a change in living conditions. Their doctor/therapist should be able to say if this is something that may be an issue down the line–but if they haven’t said anything to you after knowing the boys currently bunk together, there quite probably isn’t a problem.
 
No, and they do not need their own TV, stereo, computer, pda, cell phone, nintendo and whatever other electronic gadget they think they need. the also don’t need a closet full of clothing that would amply supply a small third world nation, and they don’t need to change clothes 3 times a day.
 
Well, I came from a family of nine children. 👍 We had a small 3 bedroom, one bath house with no usuable basement.

My sister, whom died at the age of 21, never slept in a bed by herself. She loved it. Would not have it any other way. Even in college she roomed with her best friend, whom also shared a bed growing up, after a few nights sleeping alone, they had enough and shared a bed. The relationships she formed with family members would be one parents would dream of.
:amen:

I was very blessed to have all the advantages of coming from a large family in a small house.

Be not afraid.
 
40.png
puzzleannie:
No, and they do not need their own TV, stereo, computer, pda, cell phone, nintendo and whatever other electronic gadget they think they need. the also don’t need a closet full of clothing that would amply supply a small third world nation, and they don’t need to change clothes 3 times a day.
Click to expand...
Amen Puzzleannie! Preach it sister!!!
I totally agree. Housing prices being what they are near Chicago, we live in a small, very old house - six of us. Our bedrooms are 9 X 11 - all three of them. My girls not only share a tiny bedroom, they also share a bed - their choice. They say it’s warmer that way 🙂 Our son has a room in the basement but sometimes chooses to sleep on their top bunk. The baby sleeps in his own room which doubles as a guest/storage room. It works just fine. Our kids have always been very close. The 13 year old enjoys his younger sibblings. We are a happy bunch in this little house and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
 
40.png
puzzleannie:
No, and they do not need their own TV, stereo, computer, pda, cell phone, nintendo and whatever other electronic gadget they think they need. the also don’t need a closet full of clothing that would amply supply a small third world nation, and they don’t need to change clothes 3 times a day.
Click to expand...
Amen!!! I have a nephew that had all that stuff, he was an only child.
When he was sent to his room, as punishment, I had to ask my husband “What punishment? He’ll probably never leave his room!”
 
My sister has 2 girls and a boy. The boy is the youngest, but he gets his own room, since he’s a boy. My sister and I always shared a room growing up, too.

My boyfriend is 24 and still living at home with his sister, who’s 27, brother, who’s 30, and other brother who is soon graduating from college, and parents. The girl gets her own room and the 3 boys share one. 🙂 Of course it’s annoying, but if they can handle it…that’s pretty cool.
 
Growing up I got my own room (only girl of 4). 2 brothers shared a room and the oldest had the basement (his choose).

Right now we have a 3 bedroom home and 2 kids. We plan on them sharing a room for now (2 year old and 6 month old). In about a year the boy can have his own room (maybe). But if God allows us to have more children then rooms will be shared. I’m not moving. 🙂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top