Do they really need to have there own rooms?

[Rob_s_Wife]

If you can’t afford it, it doesn’t much matter what other people want you to buy. Pretty much sums up that issue to my way of thinking.

As for the kids “needing” their own space, that’s just modernist thinking and simply isn’t true. Yes, most children these days have their own bedroom and maybe even their own bathroom, but most families these days don’t actually “live together” - they are family members living in seperate rooms of the same house. (Complete with private computers, tv, phones, Xbox, and in friends house - a mini-frig!) Living with your family and learning to get along with others (esp. family) is vital for children to learn to be responsible and respecting adults. Nor to mention teaching them the value of living below your means, not in debt up to your ears - will teach them the difference between true needs and mere wants. Which will save them a ton of stress and trouble as an adult.

Even if I had a much larger house, I’d make the kids share rooms for those reasons. If they complain, I’ll tell them what my grandmother told me: “You can have your own room when I get my own room!” When her husband died, she went to live with my uncle because his daughter didn’t mind sharing her room - grandma had never been so alone in her entire life and couldn’t stand not having some family around to chat with somewhere in the house.

I group the kids 2-by-2 for now (the baby is in our room) according to temperment and age. I only have 1 daughter, so for decency sake I pair her up with the youngest boy.

Anyhow, that’s my opinion and a bit of a rant too!

 

[mommy]

My husbands family lived in a 3 bedroom house. They have 8 kids. They converted an office into a bedroom as well. There were lots of bunk beds in that house.

It may have been cramped, but all these years later, they never have told one bad story about the experience. They look back with fond memories.

 

[Brenda_V]

First of all, no children don’t need to have rooms of their own (or as someone else added, tv’s etc. in their rooms either!)

I would actually think that due to your boys Autism, moving is a moot point. Routine is very important to the autistic and since they have been sharing a room up until now it would be an extreme break in routine for them if they got their own rooms. They would have to learn to sleep alone (hmm, hard for a “normal” child who has slept in a room with someone).

I can’t help but think of the show “The Brady Bunch” as I read all these posts on “having your own room”. Even in that show the boys had a room and the girls had a room. There was an episode where they added a room to the attic and the two oldest - Marsha and Greg- fought over it but they worked it out.

If you need ammunition to convince your family that your boys don’t need their own rooms remember this about them

As far as sharing rooms go, my sister and I (only 18 mo. apart) shared a room until we were both in High School and once we did get our own rooms it tooks us forever to be able to sleep that way.

Brenda V.

 

[kaymart]

I shared a room with 2 of my three sisters (sister #4 was born after I got married) and 2 of my three brothers shared a room. Only the oldest had his own room. Later, with my kids, My two sons shared a room and my daughter shared a room with her grandma (my widowed mother-in-law) from the time she was 3 years old till the day she married. They never complained. Now my boys have their own rooms,(grandma passed away 2 years ago) but they would have stayed in the same room if need be. There is nothin wrong with children sharing space.

 

[Timidity]

annemjones96:

But, we are starting to get pressure from both my parents and my husbands parents to move into a larger house.

Hey–if they want to chip in and buy you a bigger house, then let them! Otherwise, they don’t get a vote!

Seriously, in all of the houses in my extended family (my parent’s house included) when I was growing up there was the parent’s room, a boys’ bedroom and a girls’ bedroom. That’s it. One of those families had 9 kids, but the rest averaged 5-6 kids.

 

[Miss_Piggy]

I recently read an article on how colleges were investing massive amounts of money in refurbishing dorms into suites because the students had come to expect and demand so much more than in times past. The article attributed the phenomenon to the fact that most of these kids were coming from homes with just one other sibling. The suites they described were something else. Apparently, these students had more difficulty adjusting to living with a roommate because they were not used to compromising as they were able to do what they wanted whenever they wanted in their rooms at home. So you could actually be doing your children a disservice! by providing them with their own room. Seems to me that it would also be good training for marriage when you have to share a room with a husband! Speaking from personal experience, my husband grew up with three other siblings in a huge house. Not only did they have their own rooms, they barely had to see each other unless they went out of their way to do so. Now, we live in a nice four bedroom home with two of our four children sharing a room. My husband is constantly complaining that our house is too small, but I really think it’s just because he grew up in such a large house. I grew up in a much smaller home with more siblings and it never bothered me and my current home seems plenty big to the rest of us. Just something to consider.

 

[annemjones96]

I also think that the personal TV’s and computers, ect are too much. I work at a local nature center where I teach filed trips. On Friday we were working with 3rd graders. We stoped at one point on the trail to takl about something and one kids got out his cell phone to call his uncle. I looked at the other woman who was serving as a guide in amazement. I just got a cell phone 2 months ago and I almost never use it. I was shocked.

Brenda, you’re right. It probably wouldn’t go over well if we tried to seperate them. They have been in the same room since my younger son was old enough to sleep out of our room.

Timidity, I actually made that comment out of frustration one day to my mother in law. Of course it didn’t go over well.

Miss Piggy, I have thought that all along. I remeber how small our roomd was in college. I was lucky enough to be able to share a room with my best friend. She and I were just joking the other day that my boys would walk into that same room and say “wow! look at all the room we have!”

 

[cathologos]

I have to say this…

You’ve asked the wrong question.

The issue here isn’t whether you need a bigger house.

The issue is whether you and your husband are going to tell your parents, and his parents – plainly – that the two of you are going to make these decisions – and that it is not their place to be pressuring you on such matters.

I’m 51. One of the failings of many folks in my generation is that we tend to think the world revolves around us. (We’re the boomers; it always has!). But it is not our place to push our views on our adult children. Yes, I would certainly comment if I thought my daughter was going off the rails – especially about a moral matter, less so about an economic issue. But parents need to be able to let go, to allow their adult children to live their own lives. After I voice my opinion, I leave the decision to her. If we’ve done a good job raising her, she’ll make (mostly) good choices.

Stand up for your independence here. Soon enough, your parents will be depending on you; you’ll need the experience of independent decision-making.

Oh, and…When it is your turn, in twenty years or so – remember the difficulties you have had with your parents, and try hard to respect your sons’ independence!

 

[bogeyjlg]

Me and my brother have shared a room nearly our whole lives. If they want space they can play outdoors.

 

[Jadesfire20]

Each kid with their own room? Please! Unnecessary! I grew up in a family of 5 in a two bedroom one bath house. I slept in my parents’ bedroom until I was 11. My sisters shared the other bedroom. When my oldest sister married, I took over her spot in the second bedroom (and FINALLY got away from my parents’ snoring! ). I didn’t have my own room until I was 13, when my middle sister married and moved away. We came out ok…sorta:whacky:

 

[LindaS]

I remember my single aunt and my grandmother shared a 3 bedroom, 1 bath house with my other aunt, her husband, and 7 children, 4 girls and 3 boys. It was a tad crowded.

Peace,
Linda

 

[Jodi]

When I was little me my brother, and my sister shared a loft that was 4 feet high and slanted down within the roof . We slept on mattresses on the floor and dressed privately in the bathroom. It worked for 10 years. We are all now healthy happy well adjusted adults and I fondly remember gigling and talking with my sibs as we listened to rain on our tin roof at night.

IF the grands will pay for the new digs go for it otherwise be happy with the house you have. And remember a bigger house means more square footage you’ll end up cleaning.

 

[Celia]

I grew up in a relatively small 3 bedroom apartment. I shared a room with my older sister and my older brother had his own room. I think you’ll be fine. I didn’t really mind sharing, especially when I was younger. Heck, before my sister went to bed my brother and I would sneak into each others rooms and sit on the floor and talk and he’d line up his army men and I’d play with my dolls and just chat till my sister came up to bed. Or till Mom caught us, whichever came first so I wouldn’t worry. Kids adjust to their surroundings pretty well. I’m not saying that you won’t annoy the you know what out of each other sometimes, but that’s gonna happen anyway.