Do we have a moral duty to correct others?

[whatevergirl]

Do we have a ‘duty’ to loved ones, close friends, and others…to not only share the Gospel…but to help those who are in mortal sin? When is trying to seem helpful, look like one is overstepping their bounds in another’s life? I have a family situation where I’m trying to help my sister see that a decision she is about to make, will have dire consequences to her soul, yet she doesn’t really want to hear it. We all sin–we all make mistakes. And, in my ‘helping,’ I never seem preachy or judgemental, although someone who is disinterested in following what God wants her to do, might find one to be those things. Is that where we should cease our advice, basically when someone tells us to butt out?

I obviously will abide by her wishes…but do we have a duty to God, to step in if see that someone is heading down a dark path? I know that God never draws the line with us…His arms are always open to welcome us home. Perhaps, I should just stand back, and do the same? When do you know, you’ve done enough, and do we have a duty to do so?

 

[jmcrae]

We have a moral duty to correct those who are under our spiritual care.

We can give our opinion and make suggestions to those who are our equals.

We should never attempt to teach our superiors.

So, when looking to correct someone, ask yourself;

Is this person: my child? My student in a religion class or other religious education/formation? My god child? My ward? (foster child, step child, child that I am baby-sitting for an extended period of time, etc.) Someone who views me as their spiritual leader (Superior, priest, spiritual director, Confessor, etc.)? If so, then give the person instruction in the moral law, and tell them that you are expecting them to follow this law.

Is this person my sister, brother, close friend, or someone who has asked my/our advice?

In this case, advise the person of your thoughts on the issue, but don’t make any demands to follow the advice.

Is this person my parent, boss, or spiritual leader? In this case, leave the person alone unless they ask for your advice, in which case, see above.

 

[Timidity]

Admonishing a sinner is a spiritual act of mercy.

 

[whatevergirl]

We have a moral duty to correct those who are under our spiritual care.

We can give our opinion and make suggestions to those who are our equals.

We should never attempt to teach our superiors.

So, when looking to correct someone, ask yourself;

Is this person: my child? My student in a religion class or other religious education/formation? My god child? My ward? (foster child, step child, child that I am baby-sitting for an extended period of time, etc.) Someone who views me as their spiritual leader (Superior, priest, spiritual director, Confessor, etc.)? If so, then give the person instruction in the moral law, and tell them that you are expecting them to follow this law.

Is this person my sister, brother, close friend, or someone who has asked my/our advice?

In this case, advise the person of your thoughts on the issue, but don’t make any demands to follow the advice.

Is this person my parent, boss, or spiritual leader? In this case, leave the person alone unless they ask for your advice, in which case, see above.

well, aren’t you helpful! that is so cool. I never read that or heard of such ‘categorizing’ anywhere! My sister raised me…our parents died when I was very young. I will let well enough alone then. (and I didn’t place demands on her) haha

Thanks for the great advice.

 

[chicago]

I think that one has to ask what the worth of offerring advise is in a particular situation. How can the corrective be shared in a way which may shed light and bring one along at least a bit? Oft times, one can admonish and it will be taken poorly. That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t share the truth, but we have to take a serious look at how and when it is being done to seein order to produce good fruit and not just more rebelion. Also, I think that we have to be wary of nagging. If one can find the opportunity to share your concern in a friendly way, ONCE, your duty has been done. Perhaps a situation might even call for a confrontation if it is more grave. But, in the end, a person is going to do what a person is going to do.

Doesn’t Paul exhort to pray for those whose sin is minor? In the case of some lesser evils, perhaps the best course of action can be to pray for the poor soul who doesn’t know (or can’t bring himself to act) any better. If it’s a grave ill, then excercize prudence to share what you can, when you can, but without fretting too much about your “duty” to “zealously” correct. For if one goes about this task the wrong way or with a certain “busybody” type of practice, then it could only prove counterproductive, in the end.

 

[whatevergirl]

I think that one has to ask what the worth of offerring advise is in a particular situation. How can the corrective be shared in a way which may shed light and bring one along at least a bit? Oft times, one can admonish and it will be taken poorly. That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t share the truth, but we have to take a serious look at how and when it is being done to seein order to produce good fruit and not just more rebelion. Also, I think that we have to be wary of nagging. If one can find the opportunity to share your concern in a friendly way, ONCE, your duty has been done. Perhaps a situation might even call for a confrontation if it is more grave. But, in the end, a person is going to do what a person is going to do.

Doesn’t Paul exhort to pray for those whose sin is minor? In the case of some lesser evils, perhaps the best course of action can be to pray for the poor soul who doesn’t know (or can’t bring himself to act) any better. If it’s a grave ill, then excercize prudence to share what you can, when you can, but without fretting too much about your “duty” to “zealously” correct. For if one goes about this task the wrong way or with a certain “busybody” type of practice, then it could only prove counterproductive, in the end.

Thank you for this, chicago. Well taken points…The issue is that she has asked for my advice on this subject (see “terribly sad” and “terribly sad part two” in the family section for more of the full story) when things were going wrong with the particular guy in question. I think that she knows I don’t ‘approve,’ although I cringed when she said this to me recently. I never said I didn’t approve, but of course, through her asking for advice in a certain situation, then doing an about face, and not listening to a word we discussed…probably has her thinking I’m not approving. Honestly, unfortunately, my sister will do whatever she chooses…but, I think I felt a holy obligation, if that’s possible, to at least give her food for thought. I might have appeared too dogmatic…but oh well. I call a spade a spade…wishing someone well when they are getting ready to make the biggest mistake of his/her life, would feel hypocritical to me.

But, I think duct tape is in order now.

 

[LilyM]

I think you have a duty to tell people clearly if you have reservations about what they’re doing, which goes extra if they ask your opinion, and double and triple if you’re the parent, boss, mentor or what have you.

On the other hand, if you’re speaking to another mentally competent adult, I don’t think you’re obliged to be too heavy with them once you’ve made your objections known.

 

[jonfan]

State your intentions in a charitable way and make sure she understands that her best interest are what you care about. If she still decides to go against your advice you have done your part. I’d Still stick by her as a relative and support her as a relative. There is nothing wrong in being there for somebody. You are not commiting a sin. Jesus is always there for us sinners even when we think we ‘know it all’ and are ‘doing the right thing’. my 2 cents. It is easier however to be on the outside looking in. God bless ya!

 

[chicago]

…but, I think I felt a holy obligation, if that’s possible, to at least give her food for thought. I might have appeared too dogmatic…but oh well. I call a spade a spade…wishing someone well when they are getting ready to make the biggest mistake of his/her life, would feel hypocritical to me.

I wouldn’t disagree with you there as far as making things clear to a loved one, especially if they understand that you are sincerely expressing your own convinctions. That said, the “too dogmatic” thing can be a serious risk. I think that when we try to communicate with people who aren’t on the same page with us, it may be best if we can frame our argument in terms that they find attractive. If we insist upon using our own framework of languaging to which we are more accostumed and comfortable, but which comes off overly difficult to others, than we might merely get dismissed and miss a genuine opportunity to reach them where they are in order to draw them to where they need to be.

 

[llowwelll]

Yes! I believe, without question, we have a moral duty to correct others.

2 Timothy 4:1-5
In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.

Colossians 3:16
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God

From Gaudium et Spes, the Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World:
Respect and love ought to be extended also to those who think or act differently than we do in social, political and even religious matters. In fact, the more deeply we come to understand their ways of thinking through such courtesy and love, the more easily will we be able to enter into dialogue with them.

This love and good will, to be sure, must in no way render us indifferent to truth and goodness. Indeed love itself impels the disciples of Christ to speak the saving truth to all men. But it is necessary to distinguish between error, which always merits repudiation, and the person in error, who never loses the dignity of being a person even when he is flawed by false or inadequate religious notions.

 

[Margaret_G]

Once you let your sister know that what she was doing was sinful then you should move on and become a good example to her.Pray for her, and don’t stop. Remember there are 3 conditions for a sin to be mortal. How do you know that all 3 conditions have been met? We must be careful about judging.

 

[MilesXpisti]

We have a filial duty to correct any one of the faithful (with all charity and love), even our spiritual superiors up to an including a Bishop, Cardinal or the Holy Father himself. Good examples of this are Pietro del Morrone admonishing the College of Cardinals to stop wasting time and do their duty in electing a Pontiff (subsequently being elected himself as HH Celestine V). For a biblical example, Paul correcting the behavior of Peter when he shuns the Gentile Christians in Antioch. Peter is of course Paul’s spiritual superior (and that of every other Christian), but Paul still does so.

 

[whatevergirl]

Once you let your sister know that what she was doing was sinful then you should move on and become a good example to her.Pray for her, and don’t stop. Remember there are 3 conditions for a sin to be mortal. How do you know that all 3 conditions have been met? We must be careful about judging.

thank you, margaret! i agree…a mortal sin is harder to commit than we sometimes think!

but…in this case…she told me that she realizes she is sinning…so much so, that when her and this guy have attended mass, she abstains from receiving Communion. She dated a married man…is having sex outside of marriage–not sure if this would be coveting or not–she was also married at the time–and told me that ‘she doesn’t care,’ she wants to be happy, were her words. There seems to be guilt, not necessarily remorse, but guilt. I can’t say for sure if she is in mortal sin…it’s between her and God…but all things point to a very dangerous situation, mortally…and morally, for her soul.

 

[gontenks]

Yes we have a duty not only to those we know special to our brothers and sisters in faith but most importantly to those non believers.
We correct them by teaching them the way the Lord God thought as.
Let us be like Christ…