Do we need to get remarried?

[CJsmommy]

My husband and I married in a civil ceremony a little more than a year ago. At the time I wasn’t even sniffing in the direction of the Catholic Church, and he still isn’t (although we are both Christian). Are we considered not married by Catholic standards, and once I become confirmed will we have to remarry before I can receive?

I was christened Catholic as an infant, but never went through the education as a child, if that makes a difference.

 

[G_S]

You almost definitely will. Depending upon whether you had left the Church in a definite act, you MAY not have to. That proviso has been eliminated but you may have married during its being in force. You will need to speak with the pastor or his designee at the parish. Here’s a couple of questions: Is your spouse hostile towards the idea of having your marriage in the Church? Are you both free to marry? For example, were either of you married before? If not, the process should be very easy. Talk to your priest and he can sort it out.

 

[Usige]

The fact that you were baptised as an infant in the Catholic Church makes a huge differnce.

Since you were baptised in a Catholic Church you are already Catholic (all be it an uncatechised one). This doesn’t change because those who were supposed to raise you in the faith didn’t do so. As a Catholic you were/are bound by Canon Law to marry in the Catholic form or receive a dispensation for your marriage to be valid. There are a couple options to rectify the situation and could be done now rather then waiting until you are confirmed.

 

[Memaw]

My husband and I married in a civil ceremony a little more than a year ago. At the time I wasn’t even sniffing in the direction of the Catholic Church, and he still isn’t (although we are both Christian). Are we considered not married by Catholic standards, and once I become confirmed will we have to remarry before I can receive?

I was christened Catholic as an infant, but never went through the education as a child, if that makes a difference.

This is something you definitely need to talk to your pastor about ! God Bless, Memaw

 

[1ke]

My husband and I married in a civil ceremony a little more than a year ago. At the time I wasn’t even sniffing in the direction of the Catholic Church, and he still isn’t (although we are both Christian). Are we considered not married by Catholic standards, and once I become confirmed will we have to remarry before I can receive?

I was christened Catholic as an infant, but never went through the education as a child, if that makes a difference.

The convalidation of your marriage would take place prior to your confirmation. Simply arrange a meeting to talk to your pastor as soon as possible.

The facts as presented point to needing to convalidate the marriage due to your Catholic baptism as an infant.

 

[Casilda]

My husband and I married in a civil ceremony a little more than a year ago. At the time I wasn’t even sniffing in the direction of the Catholic Church, and he still isn’t (although we are both Christian). Are we considered not married by Catholic standards, and once I become confirmed will we have to remarry before I can receive?

I was christened Catholic as an infant, but never went through the education as a child, if that makes a difference.

Yes, having been baptized Catholic makes it more difficult. I was never given any straight answers by anyone here, or from church office staff. Get your answers straight from the priest where you will be attending rcia and where hopefully your marriage will be made right.

 

[CJsmommy]

You almost definitely will. Depending upon whether you had left the Church in a definite act, you MAY not have to. That proviso has been eliminated but you may have married during its being in force. You will need to speak with the pastor or his designee at the parish. Here’s a couple of questions: Is your spouse hostile towards the idea of having your marriage in the Church? Are you both free to marry? For example, were either of you married before? If not, the process should be very easy. Talk to your priest and he can sort it out.

By a definite act on my part, no. On my parent’s part it was possible. Since my mom is gone I’ll have to ask my dad. He’d been married before and divorced, and never validated his marriage to my mom, so there’s that.

I was married before, but widowed. Since that marriage had been in the Pentecostal church it might not have mattered anyway. Until very recently I didn’t realize baptism alone would make me permanently Catholic.

Heh, this all started just so we could get our own little daughter baptized… history repeats itself.

 

[1ke]

By a definite act on my part, no. On my parent’s part it was possible. Since my mom is gone I’ll have to ask my dad. He’d been married before and divorced, and never validated his marriage to my mom, so there’s that.

I know G&S meant well, but it isn’t relevant. You were baptized Catholic and therefore were bound by canon law.

There was a concept of formal defection in canon law for a period of time between 1983 and 2009, but it required that you had written a letter to the bishop to defect and the bishop had accepted the letter. So it was a very specific thing that G&S might be referring to, one that does not apply to you since you married after 2009.

I was married before, but widowed. Since that marriage had been in the Pentecostal church it might not have mattered anyway. Until very recently I didn’t realize baptism alone would make me permanently Catholic.

Heh, this all started just so we could get our own little daughter baptized… history repeats itself.

Don’t get overwhelmed, just take things one step at a time. Making an appointment with your pastor and laying out ALL the facts is the first step.

 

[His_helpmeet]

My husband and I married in a civil ceremony a little more than a year ago. At the time I wasn’t even sniffing in the direction of the Catholic Church, and he still isn’t (although we are both Christian). Are we considered not married by Catholic standards, and once I become confirmed will we have to remarry before I can receive?

I was christened Catholic as an infant, but never went through the education as a child, if that makes a difference.

As a baptized Catholic you do need to have your marriage validated. Normally there are two ways to do this:

1. Simple convalidation. DH and I did this because his first marriage had to be declared null before we could marry in the Church. Our priest witnessed our ceremony during Sunday Mass. We had already done marriage prep and had our interviews. The ceremony is simply the rite of marriage - declaration of consent, vows, and blessing and exchange of rings. It can also be done privately.
2. Radical sanation. This is a procedure done “on paper” in which your marriage is validated as of the date you got married.

Either way, speak to your pastor about next steps.

 

[Cider]

I know G&S meant well, but it isn’t relevant. You were baptized Catholic and therefore were bound by canon law.

There was a concept of formal defection in canon law for a period of time between 1983 and 2009, but it required that you had written a letter to the bishop to defect and the bishop had accepted the letter. So it was a very specific thing that G&S might be referring to, one that does not apply to you since you married after 2009.

Don’t get overwhelmed, just take things one step at a time. Making an appointment with your pastor and laying out ALL the facts is the first step.

OT but does that mean one can no longer defect? Or just that it doesn’t require a letter to be official?

 

[1ke]

OT but does that mean one can no longer defect? Or just that it doesn’t require a letter to be official?

Neither.

It means that if one does formally defect it has no canonical impact. Between 1983 and 2009 language existed in canon law that said IF you formally defected THEN you did not have to marry in the Catholic form or obtain a dispensation from form.

That language no longer has force of law as of October 2009.

So, what that means is defected or not defected, ALL canon law applies to you. Period.

 

[Cider]

Thanks.

After reading your reply I googled it and found the vatican page on defection

vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/intrptxt/documents/rc_pc_intrptxt_doc_20060313_actus-formalis_en.html

1. For the abandonment of the Catholic Church to be validly configured as a true actus formalis defectionis ab Ecclesia so that the exceptions foreseen in the previously mentioned canons would apply, it is necessary that there concretely be:

a) the internal decision to leave the Catholic Church;
b) the realization and external manifestation of that decision; and
c) the reception of that decision by the competent ecclesiastical authority.

anyway, more at the link.

I found this on wikipedia

The motu proprio Omnium in mentem of 26 October 2009 removed from the canons in question all reference to an act of formal defection from the Catholic Church.[5][6][7] Accordingly, "it is no longer appropriate to enter attempts at formal defection in the sacramental records since this juridic action is now abolished. "[8]

In late August 2010, the Holy See confirmed that it was no longer possible to defect formally from the Catholic Church.[9][dead link] However, the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Dublin declared on 12 October 2010 that it intended to keep a register of those who expressed the wish to defect.[9][10] Since this fell short of making an annotation in the baptismal register, CountMeOut (an association in the archdiocese that had been promoting formal defections from the Catholic Church) thereupon ceased to provide defection forms.[11][12]

Although the act of “formal defection” from the Catholic Church has thus been abolished, public or “notorious” (in the canonical sense)[13] defection from the Catholic faith or from the communion of the Church is of course possible, as is expressly recognized in the Code of Canon Law.[14] Even defection that is not known publicly is subject to the automatic spiritual penalty of excommunication laid down in canon 1364 of the Code of Canon Law.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Formal_act_of_defection_from_the_Catholic_Church

 

[mek42]

Do you need the valid marriage for the baptism?

 

[Gorgias]

Do you need the valid marriage for the baptism?

No. Baptism is not contingent on the child’s parents being married, let alone validly.

 

[G_S]

No. Baptism is not contingent on the child’s parents being married, let alone validly.

The baptism could be delayed until a problematic situation is resolved if there does not seem to be a resolve on the part of the parents to raise their child in the faith. Below is a quote from the sacramental norms in our diocese. As with every question, speak to the parish priest rather than taking the answers on this forum as the last word.

"As noted in the Key Policy Statements, in some cases, a Sacrament cannot be given at
the present time, either because of some obstacle such as censure, “after the imposition
or declaration of the penalty” (Cf. CIC, c. 915), or because an individual is “obstinately
persevering in manifest grave sin” (Cf. CIC, c. 915), or because the pastoral judgment
is reached that a person or a family is not yet sufficiently prepared for the sacrament or
committed to the faith. This critical moment can be an occasion for healing and renewal;
or it can become a cause for irreparable separation. Then, the parish priest/administrator
should explain that the Sacrament requested is only delayed until the obstacle is removed or
sufficient preparation is accomplished and evidence of faith is presented. (Cf. CIC, c. 843, c.
868, §1, 2, c. 915, c. 1007).
o Preparation needs to take into consideration the:

1. individual needs and prior experience of the person and their family,
2. degree of foundational catechesis, and
3. current involvement in the faith community."

 

[Phemie]

Although the act of “formal defection” from the Catholic Church has thus been abolished, public or “notorious” (in the canonical sense)[13] defection from the Catholic faith or from the communion of the Church is of course possible, as is expressly recognized in the Code of Canon Law.[14] Even defection that is not known publicly is subject to the automatic spiritual penalty of excommunication laid down in canon 1364 of the Code of Canon Law.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Formal_act_of_defection_from_the_Catholic_Church

That is why German Catholics who publicly declare that they are not Catholic to avoid paying religion tax are now refused the sacraments.
thejournal.ie/germany-catholic-church-tax-608480-Sep2012/

 

[Vico]

My husband and I married in a civil ceremony a little more than a year ago. At the time I wasn’t even sniffing in the direction of the Catholic Church, and he still isn’t (although we are both Christian). Are we considered not married by Catholic standards, and once I become confirmed will we have to remarry before I can receive?

I was christened Catholic as an infant, but never went through the education as a child, if that makes a difference.

Do you mean baptized? If so, then a convalidation is necessary. As long as neither of you were previously married to someone else, it should be simple.