You state, “I have also explained that the souls who go to Hell are never sent there by God, but freely choose to go there because they do not want to be with God.” You vacillate. I get it. You are trying to defend a position that is very difficult to defend. However, the Haydock quote that you used as support for your belief states, " Let no one be found to argue hence against the goodness and mercy of God, for punishing sins committed in time with punishments that are eternal." If hell is a punishment, and if Matt 25 is read literally as a future end-times judgment, then people are most certainly sent there by God. The word punishment itself carries the implication of a punisher.
If you want to advocate the position of CS Lewis, then I totally support you! “The door to hell is locked from the inside.” That is a rational belief, but it does not entail neverending suffering/punishment/torment from which there is no escape. If I’m in the room of hell and the door is locked from the inside, that means I can unlock it and proceed out through the door. Now THAT’S a reasonable position regarding hell.
The “infernalist” name comes from von Balthasar. It’s so apropos that I cannot help using it. Again, a rational Catholic will always look for the position that takes into account all of the data.
To reiterate, this von Balthasar position of hope is not apokatastasis (there are reasons for believing that fallen angels cannot change their minds)
It is not a rejection of a belief in hell.
It is not a rejection of a belief in the punitive nature of hell.
It does admit that there could be human occupants in hell.
It rejects the infernalist position ( everlasting punishment/torment/suffering for the human)
It rejects libertarian views of free will because the greatest minds of the Church have also rejected that position (e.g., Sts Augustine, Aquinas, etc).
It is a position more compatible with our common sense of justice (a punishment is proportionate to the crime).
It accepts that Christ died for all.
It accepts that God is love.
It accepts that God desires all to be saved.
You write, “But, you simply refuse to give up your belief that God would have to be a horrible ogre if the punishments of Hell were eternal. You make God out to be the bad guy.” No, I was an infernalist too once. I advocated a position similar to what you’ve been arguing for here. I never did it comfortably, of course. The God of love punishing someone to unending torment/suffering is, if not contradictory, certainly a tense and difficult position to hold.
My mind is no where near as deep and sophisticated as that of von Balthasar. But, I get the logical entailments of the beliefs that (1) God is love and (2) the sacrifice of Christ took him all the way to the limits of godforsakeness and (3) God desires that all would be saved. I hold that infernalism is not compatible with those three propositions. The God who saves, loves all the way down and neverendingly. He IS love.