Do you ever feel like a coward?

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gradstud35

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If you are supposed to love God with your whole heart, your whole soul and your whole mind, why does it take so much trouble to defend what is right sometimes? Am I the only one who has trouble with courage? We had a meeting at work a couple of weeks ago and several employees took the Lord’s name in vain. Instead of asking them to stop, I said nothing. But I just couldn’t even stand to hear it. Then today my boss started to get all “touchy” and I just kind of sat there like a frozen statute instead of asking him to stop. (Yes, I know it’s sexual harassment but I’m a contractor and really don’t feel I can complain about it without getting myself laid off tomorrow). Besides I’m not talking about legal repurcussions here, I’m talking about morals. Then I just bought a condo, it’s a very small condo association there are only four of us. My downstairs neighbor has plaques of the sun god and moon god on the back fence. Everytime I look out my back windows I see them and I get flaming mad. I just want to go down to her condo and demand she take them off the condo area but I don’t. I don’t want to look out my windows and see pagan idols everywhere.

Anybody have any advice or similiar situations/feelings?
 
Well, I suppose it’s best to say that there’s a time and place for everything and each situation requires a different answer. But I definitely know what you’re talking about, because I fear the same things as well. Living with a family who is not Catholic, is against religion, and can be quite racist at times- it makes it difficult to know when to stand up for the faith and when to let comments slide.

I find that if it becomes a “discussion” or an opening for a discussion type of situation, that’s when I’ll say something. For instance- with the sex scandal in the Church, one of my parents may say something when the news is featuring the latest “payment”. I’ll respond back to defend the Church.

On the other hand, if, as in your first situation, I am surrounded by people using the Lord’s name in vain… well, I guess it depends. I like to think that people try not to use foul language or take the Lord’s name in vain around me. Just out of respect for my beliefs. If it’s my friends saying something, I’ll probably just say something “hey, come now, don’t say that”. Or something like that. But if it’s co-workers… I don’t know.

I think there’s a line, somewhere out there, between standing up for the faith and also letting others hold their own beliefs. But at what point is letting others hold their own beliefs a product of charity and when is it just a product of our societies relativism?
 
Wow. I was wondering earlier tonight if I should ask a question -

The ex-mayor of the city I live in, before the election that caused the title change from Mayor to ex-mayor (I’m trying hard not to use any gender articles 🙂 ) well, it was Good Friday and the Mayor was sitting next to me at Mass. We attend the Cathedral; our Bishop was celebrating. It is very well-known that the Mayor was/is pro-abortion and had publicly said no Bishop was going to stop reception of Communion and someday it would be recived from a woman priest. This was a widely quoted statement in the local newspaper - I can in no way believe the Bishop missed it. When it was our turn, the Mayor got up, got in line and received the Holy Eucharist from the Bishop’s hands. There was not even a hesitation. I wanted to trip the Mayor, step in front of the Mayor, ask the Mayor to please not commit such sacrilege - - I said and did nothing. I received the Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ and returned to the pew and cried.

Our Bishop is otherwise a very good man. I respect his authority. What should I have done?
 
I don’t believe there was anything you could have or should have done. If the Bishop was well aware of the situation (as you believe he was), then it is under his conscience that he gave the ex-mayor Holy Communion. If he wasn’t aware… there was still nothing you really could have done. There was no time to alert the Bishop in private, nor ample situation to speak to the ex-mayor his/herself.
 
There is something I like to think about in situations like the ones above. “I am a sinner, not a judge. Jesus is the one who saved me, and He is the one that will judge. Who am I to judge someone?” Therefore, don’t take it upon yourself to be judge, jury, and executioner for all these people. Especially that mayor incident. You could have talked to the Bishop afterwards if it would have made you feel better, but the entire point of Catholicism is forgiveness, right? An ex-mayor will do nothing to the Church that Jesus built, nothing at all. Do not worry about the mayor, he has already made his decision. I am sure you have other, more important things to occupy your time. To the OP, if people are really making you feel that bad, then say something like, “That language is filthy.” Or, just don’t hang around them all the time. I forget what the passage is, but Jesus said “What defiles isn’t what goes into the mouth, but what comes out of it.” The same applies to ears as well. And about the “son god” things, I would put a HUGE cross somewhere were that person could see it. But no matter what, even if you are uncomfortable about trying to change people’s lives around you, make sure they know that you are a devout Catholic.
 
Am I the only one who has trouble with courage?
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No. We are all weak and fearful humans.
We had a meeting at work a couple of weeks ago and several employees took the Lord’s name in vain. Instead of asking them to stop, I said nothing.
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I think you did the right thing. We have to discern when it is appropriate to speak up. Work is most likely not the place. My kids have a bad habit of taking the Lord’s name in vain but will take correction from me without offense. With friends, I will physically cringe and wince and my body language makes them uncomfortable enough to think twice the next time they want to let fly with our Lord’s name. But there is a time and place for expressing such things.
Then today my boss started to get all “touchy” and I just kind of sat there like a frozen statute instead of asking him to stop. (Yes, I know it’s sexual harassment but I’m a contractor and really don’t feel I can complain about it without getting myself laid off tomorrow). Besides I’m not talking about legal repurcussions here, I’m talking about morals.
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Obviously only you know how best to handle such a thing but sexual harassment is a crime and I would not, under any cirucumstances, allow a boss or co-worker to touch me inapproriately. If you are fired for speaking up, you have a nice little lawsuit on your hands.
My downstairs neighbor has plaques of the sun god and moon god on the back fence. Everytime I look out my back windows I see them and I get flaming mad. I just want to go down to her condo and demand she take them off the condo area but I don’t. I don’t want to look out my windows and see pagan idols everywhere.
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I strongly suggest you do not do that. Your neighbor has every right to her religious beliefs, no matter how offensive you find them. Unless she is slaughtering chickens in her backyeard and throwing the carcasses over your fence, you would do well to remember that in the US, EVERYONE has freedom of religion. You would not take kindly to her coming over to your house and requesting you take down your crucifix.
 
She has them on common areas, they are not on “her space”. The whole back courtyard is fenced in and there are no assigned units back there. So I don’t believe she should decorate it for the rest of us.
 
gradstud35 said:
She has them on common areas, they are not on “her space”. The whole back courtyard is fenced in and there are no assigned units back there. So I don’t believe she should decorate it for the rest of us.
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Are there any particular homeowner rules that prohibit putting up “decorations” in the common areas? If there are not, I might just go ahead and put a few up myself!😉
 
pharmacistUH said:
There is something I like to think about in situations like the ones above. “I am a sinner, not a judge. Jesus is the one who saved me, and He is the one that will judge. Who am I to judge someone?” Therefore, don’t take it upon yourself to be judge, jury, and executioner for all these people. Especially that mayor incident. You could have talked to the Bishop afterwards if it would have made you feel better, but the entire point of Catholicism is forgiveness, right? An ex-mayor will do nothing to the Church that Jesus built, nothing at all. Do not worry about the mayor, he has already made his decision. I am sure you have other, more important things to occupy your time.
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I hear you. Log in my eye, splinter in the other’s. But, is it not incumbent upon us as Catholics to prevent sacrilege against the Holy Eucharist? Inside I wanted to tackle the Mayor to the ground, but knew I could not in the house of God. Truly, am I to keep quiet in such situations and 1. ignore the sacrilege and 2. am I not my brother’e keeper?
 
gradstud35 said:
We had a meeting at work a couple of weeks ago and several employees took the Lord’s name in vain. Instead of asking them to stop, I said nothing. But I just couldn’t even stand to hear it.
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i have heard rosalind moss tell a story a couple times about when she worked in a diner and her fellow waitresses and others were always saying JC!. for 4 months she wondered what she could do about it. finally she started saying “i love him!” everytime someone used the Lord’s name in vain. who? they asked. and she said, Jesus Christ, you just said his name, i love him, he’s my Saviour. for 4 months she then said “i love him” everytime she heard them use JC!, and they finally stopped using Jesus’ name inappropriately.👍
 
Sometimes we all feel that way.

Perhaps you could politely mention to each of the individuals privately that such talk offends you and you would appreciate it if they could find some other way to express themselves. I wouldn’t do it in a public setting. One on one only.

When the boss gets touchy - don’t just sit there - stand up immediately - stay standing during the conversation or excuse yourself. Sitting there sends a non verbal communication that it is okay. Standing says - whoa fella.

Decorations - get over them - there is no sun/moon god. Put up a small crucifix in your condo or balcony and enjoy.

Good luck.
 
gradstud35 said:
If you are supposed to love God with your whole heart, your whole soul and your whole mind, why does it take so much trouble to defend what is right sometimes? Am I the only one who has trouble with courage? We had a meeting at work a couple of weeks ago and several employees took the Lord’s name in vain. Instead of asking them to stop, I said nothing. But I just couldn’t even stand to hear it. Then today my boss started to get all “touchy” and I just kind of sat there like a frozen statute instead of asking him to stop. (Yes, I know it’s sexual harassment but I’m a contractor and really don’t feel I can complain about it without getting myself laid off tomorrow). Besides I’m not talking about legal repurcussions here, I’m talking about morals. Then I just bought a condo, it’s a very small condo association there are only four of us. My downstairs neighbor has plaques of the sun god and moon god on the back fence. Everytime I look out my back windows I see them and I get flaming mad. I just want to go down to her condo and demand she take them off the condo area but I don’t. I don’t want to look out my windows and see pagan idols everywhere.

Anybody have any advice or similiar situations/feelings?
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Everyday, but “the Lord is my shepherd”. Hang in there, Tim
 
chewchoo said:
i have heard rosalind moss tell a story a couple times about when she worked in a diner and her fellow waitresses and others were always saying JC!. for 4 months she wondered what she could do about it. finally she started saying “i love him!” everytime someone used the Lord’s name in vain. who? they asked. and she said, Jesus Christ, you just said his name, i love him, he’s my Saviour. for 4 months she then said “i love him” everytime she heard them use JC!, and they finally stopped using Jesus’ name inappropriately.👍
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I am a nurse, and I hear “choice” language frequently. I usually ignore it, because most of the time it comes from very sick and frustrated people who have had a lot of medication and I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt. However, one time I was taking care of a very well oriented man who was not that sick and his entire conversation was peppered with foul language and God’s name taken in vain. I mean just about every other word. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and I asked him to please stop using that kind of language in my presence. He got a look of surprise on his face and said “What language?” I told him, and he said,“Why, that is just the way I talk, I didn’t know there was anything wrong with it.” It made me realize that sometimes people are truly ignorant of the fact that what they are doing or saying is offensive, they are not trying to be malicious. I don’t know if he ever cleaned up his language, but at least he was made aware of it.
 
I know how the OP feels.
I work for a company that actively promotes homosexual lifestyle, not only in the workplace thru “diversity” seminars, but also in the Community at large by sponsoring many “Gay” events.
It also supports or used to, Planned Parenthood.

I disapprove of both these things, but if I make
a big ruckus about it, I will lose my job for violating
their enshrined liberal “diversity” rules.

So, I tell individual co-workers that I disagree with the policies when the subject comes up, but I too have wondered if I should be more formal and write letters of complaint to the higher-ups.

Jaypeeto4
+JMJ+
 
Hi gradstud35;
I must admit that I have. I too have been put in positions where people have crossed my moral boundaries and for fear of reprisal, I have done nothing. It got to be so serious that now I’m seeing a councilor, and in after thought I should have stood my ground and said that what they were doing was inappropriate and wrong.
If there is one thing that I can suggest, overcome your fear and seek help, because living with and tolerating people who have no boundaries will do immense harm to you, not only physically, but mentally as well. There are plenty of good jobs where people work and respect their fellow workers. I pray that you find one.
My new tactic is to put on the armor of God and place all of my trust in Him. I also talk to my councilor, who helps give me direction. For me, it is about standing up for myself and doing the right and loving thing. I also ask St. Michael the Archangel to intercede and help. His prayer is terrific.
Please know that you are in my prayers.

Peace,

Br. Tom

P.S. Awesome remedy, ChewChoo!!! I love it.
 
Two things ot address.

I believe (which automatically means it might be wrong) Bishops say that Pro-choice politicians, and these other idiots who make statements like your ex-mayor, are not to receive communion. However, I do not recall ever reading a statement that they are to be refused communion.
So if the Bishops have provided guidance to their flock, “Do not receive Communion.” and the flock doesn’t heed, then the flock suffers the consequences.

Swearing - I golf. I usually golf with three strangers - it amazes me the liberty strangers will take with one another when it comes to taking God’s name in vain - and in golf it usually is in vain - the ball hass already gone into the woods, bunker, water, or missed the hole…I’ve yet to see God change course of a golf ball…when the swearing occurs, I offer up a Hail Mary (prayer, not golf shot.) I’ve gone rounds pretty close to a rosary (TIC.) When the opportunity arises again to golf with these people, I inform the starter to let them go ahead, I’d just slow them down.

The fact that you are in a company that even permits such things to happen in the nwork place suggests that, contractor or not, you go to Craig’sList and start looking for a new place to offer your services.
🙂
 
StephenB said:
Two things ot address.

I believe (which automatically means it might be wrong) Bishops say that Pro-choice politicians, and these other idiots who make statements like your ex-mayor, are not to receive communion. However, I do not recall ever reading a statement that they are to be refused communion.
So if the Bishops have provided guidance to their flock, “Do not receive Communion.” and the flock doesn’t heed, then the flock suffers the consequences.

🙂
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I just read this at catholic.com/library/liturgy/cag_changes.asp

"The CDWDS further stipulated that “there should be no such refusal to any Catholic who presents himself for Holy Communion at Mass, except in cases presenting a danger of grave scandal to other believers arising out of the person’s unrepented public sin or obstinate heresy or schism, publicly professed or declared.”

The Mayor had no problem speaking loudly about his/her beliefs to anyone who would listen and was quoted. I believe it was a grave scandal and caused others to believe that one could in fact be Catholic and pro-abortion.
 
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