Do You Ever "Feel"

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Pacbox

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Do you ever feel and end up believing that no matter how much you pray, how much you desire Jesus, how much you are active in the parish, that you don’t have faith at all and that you must be the most lukewarm Catholic ever? Because that’s where I am at. Even more so, it seems that I am drifting further and further away even though I am doing nothing to be away. I pray, read the Bible, etc. but it’s like it seems in vain and that it may even be pointless to God. I do everything I can and haven’t quit doing anything I was doing before (praying, Mass, etc.) but it seems like its ineffective and useless to do any of it. And no, I won’t be stopping it.

It’s like everyone else can submit to God’s will, pray, etc. and have it come easy. That God prefers them and would rather not have anything to do with me. Hey, I wouldn’t want to deal with me sometimes. But there seems to be such an emphasis on feeling and acting like God is in your life and that yes, this is indeed real, and yes it really is.

It’s like my faith is so nonexistant, I believe but I’m not sure if that’s really faith, that even those with even the tinniest bit of faith far exceeds any faith I could ever have. And yes, I have prayed for faith but God must believe I don’t deserve it. Not that He has ever answered my prayers and I have looked to see if He has. I don’t think I have ever had a prayer answered. I don’t fault God for this, it’s usually my fault anyways. I have spent the last few years of my life making bad decision after bad decision (which I’ve tried to change but hasn’t happened and I’ve tried and prayed and yet no matter what pretty much all the decisions I make are bad. Just ask anyone who knows me).

I think part of this started when I was trying to decide I would attend Holy Thursday Mass or not. It was “bad if I didn’t go and bad if I did go”.

I think there was more to write but I’ve forgotten it, I’m trying not to cry, I’m going to be so mad at myself for even thinking any of this (cause hey, I’m stupid), that I really need some time to myself but I’m not really Catholic or Catholic enough if I don’t attend at least Holy Thursday Mass and Easter Vigil, and this is the only place I can even remotely talk about this.

Okay, just ignore my stupid ramblings. I’m being an idiot as usual.
 
:hug3: of course you’re not being an idiot.

You should read a life of Mother Teresa - she apparently had serious struggles with her faith for long periods of her life as well.

Just hang on the words of the Gospel - ‘if your faith be but the size of a mustard seed …’ and stay strong. Christ will run to meet you along your road to him, just like the father in the Prodigal Son story.

I’ll pray for you. God bless.
 
pacbox,

Feelings come and go, they are not something you can control.
As long as you are continuing to pray and do the things you ought to do as a Catholic, be assured that the Lord is with you.

Pray in faith, even without feelings. The Lord asks us to prove our love for Him this way, and He grants us more merit through this trial. He will bless your faithfulness.

Have a Blessed Easter!

Peace,

Dorothy
 
I go through periods like that as well. Many of us can relate (just search past post and you’ll find others who have gone through periods like this.) I was surprised that Mother Teresa and other saints went through this as well.

The fact that you are still praying and still trying to be close to Jesus shows how strong you are because you are still trying to remain faithful even during this difficult and “dry” time.

I’m so glad I found this forum because I learned that I am not alone and there is a lot of literature and experiences you can read from saints and other people that might help you through this.

What I try to do during these times is to keep praying and I feel like a fake sometimes because I feel so distant and lukewarm. I don’t want to feel like that, but I guess the Lord does this for a reason.

I usually ask Jesus that I am willing to try and be strong during these times, but I hope that my trials can be used to help others. Like trading places with someone else who doesn’t believe or is distant from Jesus. I hope they can experience a moment that will lead that closer to our Lord and feel the joy from forming a bond with Jesus.
 
The answer is yes we all do at some point. We should not measure our faith on feelings and mabey study on this issue from saints or catholic scholars would help you. Attending daily mass for instant or going to an group Bible study could help. It is important to realize that having a dry point in faith is not necessarily mean that you are doing something wrong. 4I have heard it said the sometimes God draws away from us to test our faith becasue he loves us. Hope this helps.👍
 
Hello Pacbox,

Your post describes me pretty well, too. One thing that I read recently has helped me. It was in A Virtue Driven Life by Fr. Benedict Groeschel. The book talks about all the virtues, and how there are natural virtues, and then there are supernatural virtues. We need to do our part to practice the natural virtues to bring us to the threshold of the supernatural virtues, but it is only God’s grace that carries us over that threshold. So, I think you and I (and many others, yes?) are heading toward that threshold of faith. For me, it has been reason, circumstances in life, and wanting to believe, that is leading me to that threshold. I don’t know how long I’ll have to wait there - but from what I have heard from others (especially here on this forum) is that some day that grace will come - because it has come to them! We have to be ready to accept the possibility that for us, that grace might not come until moments before we die, but we have to keep ourselves there at the threshold to accept it when it comes.

Okay all your spiritual experts - go ahead and let me know where my thinking is off - I know it must be off somewhere, but that’s where I’m at right now.

Peace.
 
Do I? Yes, I do. Tonight in fact too, and no I did not go to Holy Thursday Mass either.
 
Yes, I do. As another poster said, I’ve read that Mother Teresa had struggles with her faith. St. John of the Cross’ Dark Night of the Soul might help. It’s been a while since I read it, but it helps me when I’m not having the motivation or good feelings in my spiritual life. As I recall, he essentially said that if we go to Mass, continue with our prayers, etc., when we don’t get comfort out of it, it is more of a sacrifice of love towards God on our part.
 
Pacbox said:
Do you ever feel and end up believing that no matter how much you pray, how much you desire Jesus, how much you are active in the parish, that you don’t have faith at all and that you must be the most lukewarm Catholic ever? Because that’s where I am at. Even more so, it seems that I am drifting further and further away even though I am doing nothing to be away. I pray, read the Bible, etc. but it’s like it seems in vain and that it may even be pointless to God. I do everything I can and haven’t quit doing anything I was doing before (praying, Mass, etc.) but it seems like its ineffective and useless to do any of it. And no, I won’t be stopping it.

It’s like everyone else can submit to God’s will, pray, etc. and have it come easy. That God prefers them and would rather not have anything to do with me. Hey, I wouldn’t want to deal with me sometimes. But there seems to be such an emphasis on feeling and acting like God is in your life and that yes, this is indeed real, and yes it really is.

It’s like my faith is so nonexistant, I believe but I’m not sure if that’s really faith, that even those with even the tinniest bit of faith far exceeds any faith I could ever have. And yes, I have prayed for faith but God must believe I don’t deserve it. Not that He has ever answered my prayers and I have looked to see if He has. I don’t think I have ever had a prayer answered. I don’t fault God for this, it’s usually my fault anyways. I have spent the last few years of my life making bad decision after bad decision (which I’ve tried to change but hasn’t happened and I’ve tried and prayed and yet no matter what pretty much all the decisions I make are bad. Just ask anyone who knows me).

I think part of this started when I was trying to decide I would attend Holy Thursday Mass or not. It was “bad if I didn’t go and bad if I did go”.

I think there was more to write but I’ve forgotten it, I’m trying not to cry, I’m going to be so mad at myself for even thinking any of this (cause hey, I’m stupid), that I really need some time to myself but I’m not really Catholic or Catholic enough if I don’t attend at least Holy Thursday Mass and Easter Vigil, and this is the only place I can even remotely talk about this.

Okay, just ignore my stupid ramblings. I’m being an idiot as usual.
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Dear Pacbox,
I feel your anguish, because I asked the same question myself. Here is what I know. The truth is the truth, irrespective of our personal feelings. That is: God is faithful, even when we are not.

I asked this question of a Navy Chaplain once: What is the essential nature of faith and how do I know I have it?

His answer was simple but true. God chooses you, you don’t choose him. When God chooses you he regenerates your heart, and gives you an awareness of your sinful nature. Your anguish is the surest sign that you have a regenerate heart and not a heart "at enmity with God.

You cannot have repentance, without first having regeneration, it is what brings you to repentance.

Doubt is a constant nagging critic of the believer, as long as you live in this life it will tug at your sleve. But the “just live by faith” trusting in the promises of God for their salvation, and living according to that promise.

Consider yourself blessed, because the truly reprobate are completely and utterly oblivious to this pain, until it becomes too late.

You can stand on this rock:

The very words of our Lord: John 6:37-40

37All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. 38For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. 39And this is the will of him who sent me, that** I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day**. 40For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day."
 
We all have doubts and lukewarm periods. It is natural because we’re human. It’s not stupid, it is a reality. During those times I think it is best to pray more, give glory to God, and remember the passage in the Bible: “Lord, I believe; help Thou my unbelief.” Even Jesus had doubts in the Garden of Gethsemane ( I don’t know if you could call them doubts as much as not wanting the suffering.)
Just hang on - our faith carries us through the dark times. Feelings aren’t a good indicator of our spiritual lives. You’re doing everything you should be doing!
 
Thanks for the replies. I should probably make clear that I have NEVER felt God in my life. From everything I’ve ever read and heard, people usually have at least a moment when they have felt God even if they never feel Him again in their life. I haven’t even had that. I don’t base my faith on feelings.
 
Feelings can be unreliable indicators, you know…
I suffer from clinical depression & post-traumatic stress disorder, & it has been hard for me to learn that how I “feel” is not what is important; what is important is what I do.
I read somewhere that a great saint-- I think it was St Therese of Lisieux, but I’m not sure… Anyhow, she confided to someone that she had been battling for a long time the feeling that she didn’t really didn’t believe in anything, that her faith was all a sham.
When she was asked what she did when she felt that way, she answered something like , “Oh, I just act as if I do believe, until things come right again”.
This helped me a lot, because I realized that if a saint could have to “go through the motions” at times, why should I be any different??

My advice? Pray. Pray for others. You may surprise yourself!!

(And I agree, by the way, that you wouldn’t care about how you feel, if you didn’t believe in & love the Lord Jesus Christ. You’d just shrug it off…)

God bless.
 
Pacbox said:
Thanks for the replies. I should probably make clear that I have NEVER felt God in my life. From everything I’ve ever read and heard, people usually have at least a moment when they have felt God even if they never feel Him again in their life. I haven’t even had that. I don’t base my faith on feelings.
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You can pray to feel Gods Holy Presence at Mass. Try it, if it His will, He would grant you it.

Consider reading about St. John of the Cross and learn his ways.
:blessyou:

St. John of the Cross, pray for us!
 
I too struggled with the “feelings” thing. But the ressurrection is a documented historical fact. It is the most thoroughly documented, and researched event in history.

If you can’t accept the testimony of the scripture on this issue, then you literally have to chuck out everything else we know of antiquity (Alexander the Great, Caesar, Cleopatra…etc.) (See Lee Stroble “The Case for Christ”)

The Apostles went to their deaths proclaiming that Jesus was still alive and was in fact God Himself.

To my knowledge I can’t think of any writing by any of the apostles about Lord bestowing us with some kind of warm and fuzzy supernatural knowledge. Instead they urge us to hold on and preserve their testimonies to the truth.

It is the arguments of the skeptics that don’t stand the test of time. Indeed we had the Da Vinci Hoax that asserted Jesus survived and went to France. And more recently the Talpiot Tomb hubub. It is the skeptics who can’t get their stories straight.

Some people are afraid to look to critically at what they have received. But I can tell you that from where I sit, having asked the same questions you have asked. The truest thing you will ever know in this life is the testimony of the Holy Scripture.
 
cleargospel99 said:
It is the arguments of the skeptics that don’t stand the test of time. Indeed we had the Da Vinci Hoax that asserted Jesus survived and went to France. And more recently the Talpiot Tomb hubub.** It is the skeptics who can’t get their stories straight.**
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I agree. There are many different versions: Jesus never existed, The Apostles stole the body and made up the story (or they forgot which tomb he was buried in- I find that one a howler- all the authorities would have to do is exhume Jesus and Christianity would have ended there and then), Jesus didn’t die, he was only buried alive (which is bogus, because the Roman soldiers knew how to kill a man, plus it would be rather difficult for a man had gone through what Jesus did to convince his followers he had risen from the dead), etc. I figure if there was any valid ‘debunking’ of the Resurrection, there would be consistency.
 
I too struggled with the “feelings” thing. But the ressurrection is a documented historical fact. It is the most thoroughly documented, and researched event in history.
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I have known about Christ’s death and resurrection ever since I can remember. I could NEVER throw this out.
If you can’t accept the testimony of the scripture on this issue, then you literally have to chuck out everything else we know of antiquity (Alexander the Great, Caesar, Cleopatra…etc.) (See Lee Stroble “The Case for Christ”)
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I have no problem with Scripture. I have been pretty immersed in it as a Catholic and as a reader and choir member and student and Lenten devotion.
The Apostles went to their deaths proclaiming that Jesus was still alive and was in fact God Himself.
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To my knowledge I can’t think of any writing by any of the apostles about Lord bestowing us with some kind of warm and fuzzy supernatural knowledge. Instead they urge us to hold on and preserve their testimonies to the truth.
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Again, very biblical and no problem
It is the arguments of the skeptics that don’t stand the test of time. Indeed we had the Da Vinci Hoax that asserted Jesus survived and went to France. And more recently the Talpiot Tomb hubub. It is the skeptics who can’t get their stories straight.
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I don’t believe or even study this rubbish. As someone who has studied archaeology, I am well aware of the flaws that they tried to purport as truth.
Some people are afraid to look to critically at what they have received. But I can tell you that from where I sit, having asked the same questions you have asked. The truest thing you will ever know in this life is the testimony of the Holy Scripture.
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How about the testimony of the saints?

cleargospel99, I am not sure what you were trying to say with this post. I will believe that you meant well and that it might be just a matter of simple misunderstanding. But hey, I figured out how to multiquote.
 
cleargospel99 said:
I too struggled with the “feelings” thing. But the ressurrection is a documented historical fact. It is the most thoroughly documented, and researched event in history.
If you can’t accept the testimony of the scripture on this issue, then you literally have to chuck out everything else we know of antiquity (Alexander the Great, Caesar, Cleopatra…etc.) (See Lee Stroble “The Case for Christ”)
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Um, what???
 
I would be more worried if you thought you were a great Catholic…
 
Pacbox said:
Do you ever feel and end up believing that no matter how much you pray, how much you desire Jesus, how much you are active in the parish, that you don’t have faith at all and that you must be the most lukewarm Catholic ever? .
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sure, sometimes, I suspect most people do. So what. It is part of the ups and downs of life, because we are so easily swayed by our emotions, disappointments, resentments, failures, ailments, even indigestion can cause a spiritual crisis if it hits at the wrong time. The solution is simply to be faithful to prayer and daily duties of life. Take up my cross each day. The negative feelings are the cross some days.
 
I think we all suffer from “dry periods” back and forth throughout life. The way I see it, the love we have for the Lord, at times I compare to the human love we have for spouses, children, etc. At times it is sheer and complete committment to them that binds us, not at all the “feeling” of love. (sometimes depending on circumstances it “feels” like the opposite:D) Alot of times it is the committment that is the real “love”. Stay COMMITTED to Our Lord. Keep praying, keep going to mass, even if you don’t “feel” like it. You will be blessed abundantly.
 
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