Do you ever get into debates with friend/ family...?

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just 4 him:
You have no idea…

We have 2 children being raised in the faith and a mother-in-law praying for our salvation.
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Reassure your mother-in-law that since they believe in eternal security, and her daughter was “saved” in the Baptist Church, that at least your wife cannot lose her salvation.
 
Huh. Baptists and agnostics are the people I most often debat with. Yesterday I spent an hour arguing with a friends Mom,:eek: (born catholic, converted to Baptist) over salvation. Boy,. I need to do some more research. I really dont understand how they think they know whether they are going to heaven or hel…
 
I have friends and family who are Catholic, Congregational (my husband and in-laws), Lutheran, Disciples of Christ, Southern Baptist, Greek Orthodox, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, and agnostic. Somehow we all manage to get along and discuss religion without arguing. I’ve learned a lot, actually. I guess we don’t really see the point in yelling or insults. Those aren’t going to change anyone’s mind.
 
I seem to get into debates with friends often lately over religious topics. Actually, the topics are usually centered around how religious I have become, how nutty and unnecessary it is to go to mass (and fanatical is it to go to daily mass), how every one who dates has premarital sex ( and I am destined to be single since no man is going to tolerate my celibacy past 3 or 4 dates) , how confession is not needed, etc.

The list goes on.

It was not really debates, but more like attacks on my practices of late. My reversion to the church was not a blessing to some of my friends, apparantly. My friends liked me just fine the way I was before I reverted. Now I am a thorn and just plain no fun to be around. I would rather spend an evening at Adoration than a bar. That is an unthinkable choice and I am a nut.

God weeded a few of these people from my life recently in a glorious attempt at keeping me focused. He is a good and loving Father.
 
This past year, I have probably had to defend my faith to my family more than ever. I have felt a strain on our relationship as a result. I am very active in our church and my family knows it. It’s hard not to when you are ordained. However, I contacted them once about supporting marriage, and also writing our politicians regarding that issue as well as defending life against abortion. Boy was I surprised when my family members jumped all over me…particularly when it came to homosexual unions. They believed I was a bigot when I defended marriage as an institution created by God to produce abundant life We also had 2 family members marry outside of the church when they found out they would be expected to perform marriage prep as well as in one case, consider an anulment in order to be able to be married. I was told…that’s not my God. My God is loving. He allows all kinds of definitions of marriage and would still allow me to receive Holy Communion on Easter & Christmas if I wish too. It has certainly strained our already distant relationship. But I told them we put God first not our love affairs. God is first in my life. I was told that I was being sanctimonious But I held my stance
 
All the time. My father, 1 brother and I are Thomistic while the rest of the Family are Bonaventurists.

(My father got a Masters in Philosophy before becoming a physician, we have pretty interesting family discussions…)
 
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stbruno:
This past year, I have probably had to defend my faith to my family more than ever. I have felt a strain on our relationship as a result. I am very active in our church and my family knows it. It’s hard not to when you are ordained. However, I contacted them once about supporting marriage, and also writing our politicians regarding that issue as well as defending life against abortion. Boy was I surprised when my family members jumped all over me…particularly when it came to homosexual unions. They believed I was a bigot when I defended marriage as an institution created by God to produce abundant life We also had 2 family members marry outside of the church when they found out they would be expected to perform marriage prep as well as in one case, consider an anulment in order to be able to be married. I was told…that’s not my God. My God is loving. He allows all kinds of definitions of marriage and would still allow me to receive Holy Communion on Easter & Christmas if I wish too. It has certainly strained our already distant relationship. But I told them we put God first not our love affairs. God is first in my life. I was told that I was being sanctimonious But I held my stance
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Yeah, you’re obviously a judgmental, sanctimonious, up-tight, White, European, phallocentric, patriarchal, narrow-minded, linear-thinking, oppressor of us women and minorities. Why should anybody listen to your outdated views drawn from a collection of antiquated fairy tales and myths? 😛 And if you’re from a RED State, well, that says it all!
 
I just finished reading through this thread. Wow! It’s good to know I am not the only one persecuted for my Catholic faith. I have noticed an outright hatred towards Christians ever since President Bush won the election. It was bad before but now it’s ten times worse. The good thing is that the ACLU battles against Christianity seem to be bringing people out of their apathy. Nothing like a little oppression to bring out “soldiers” for Christ.
 
I generally avoid arguing, but I’ll say something brief and calm if somebody says something completely ignorant. Like, I’ve told a few people that it was MARY who was Immaculately Conceived, or I’ll explain to somebody that an indulgence does not forgive sin. That is, unless I think that they’re angry sorts with big axes to grind, then I just keep my mouth shut.

If somebody gets angry at me, they’ll usually just throw my past up in my face, which is highly painful because I have a really rotten past, and so I try to avoid that. I’ve been told by at least a couple of people that I’m a hypocrite because I used to do some particular thing. I say “Well, no, I’d be a hypocrite if I used to say it was wrong, but I now do it” but I don’t think they’re interested in a precise definition of “hypocrite.” I do think I’d be a hypocrite if I gave somebody a very hard time and wasn’t compassionate if they were still doing those things I used to do.

My father, who is not Catholic and is not particularly religious, is considering moving in with his girlfriend. He’s staying the night at her house right now. Considering he’s giving me and my illegitimate baby a place to live, I really don’t feel I have any business telling him it’s wrong.

After all, my parents told me for YEARS it was wrong, and I didn’t listen… :o
 
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juno24:
My best friend and I will occasionally get into a theological discussion. She is Pentacostal and I am a Catholic revert. It used to be that she was skeptical about just about everything Catholic, and her questions really made me look so much deeper into what the Church teaches and why. (So much so that I credit her, among a very small group of people, for putting me back on the path to Catholicism). …Judy
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Judy, this is exactly my experience. I was constantly approached by my Lutheran friend who challenged my Catholic “faith” (as weak as it was at the time) and it caused me to really learn about it and now I am able to defend it passionately. Unfortunately, she doesn’t challenge me anymore and I’m not one to challenge her. I pray that things I’ve said have caused her to look at things differently.
 
I was told to avoid religious discussions at work. My bosses happen to be Jewish and my parents didn’t want me talking about religion in front of them. Cause they didn’t think they could handle it.

Padre Pio “Don’t worry, work and pray.”
 
My wife and I are often drawn into discussions with casual acquaintances who are curious about the priority we attach to religious matters, such as making sure that we attend Mass even when it is not easy to reach a Church. Usually these are not contentious inquiries and at the outset discussions are mostly positive. When they venture into “deeper water” we usually struggle to avoid divisive agrguments. Recently there are more frequent situations involving discussions with wobbly Catholic friends who feel that the writing of Dan Brown and LeHay discredit the CCC. Those situations are more difficult to keep on level ground.

It may be that because of our advancing age we are seen as approachable or we appear to be vulnerable targets. Whatever the case, the frequency of these encounters increases. The need to deepen our knowledge brings us ever closer to Catholic Answers. I believe that we made some inroads with a few people.
 
As a completely lapsed protestant of vague faith, I used to debate my completely lapsed Catholic friend for hours, many years ago. She planted many seeds in me and today I am a rock solid, happy Catholic, confirmed in 8/02. My old friend is still lapsed but I pray for her re-version. Those conversations where the best and most fun I’ve ever had talking religion with anyone!
 
I am a convert that followed the convoluted path of protestant,to agnostic,to atheist (a very anti catholic one at that ) and finally home to the Catholic church. When I was a poorly informed atheist I would taunt my Catholic buddies about there silly religious views and debate the uselessness of religion in general with my penticostal best friend. After my conversion to the faith, (praise be to the Lord Jesus Christ) My pentacostal friend questioned my new found beliefs causing me to start to learn how to explain this wonderous new faith of mine. We never argued but he challanged me to know my faith better. What really got me into apologetics was my older brother, My family stayed at his house on vacation right after my conversion and the topic of religion came up right away, he is a staunch anti catholic fundamentalist and he had me reeling under all of his attacks on the Church and it’s false teachings. We drove home that summer angry hurt and humilated that we were so unprepared that we couldn’t defend our faith. I must admit that I got a dose of my own medicine! The Lord had provided me with a lesson in humility that is for certain. I went home and read every book I could find and subscribed to “This Rock” as well, after years of study and preperation I talked to my brother and he agreed to go with me to Steubenville for a men’s conference. I have to admit the debates all went my way, I ran circles around him and all his points were based on simple anti catholic bigotry he had picked up over the years. God then showed me my next lesson, because I lacked charity and compassion and only wanted to “win the arguement” my brother remains enstranged from me (and the Church) to this day and even though I won that debate I lost my brother. I have since retired from activly debating protestants and lapsed Catholics (my family is filled with both). I simply try to correct misconceptions and outright falsehoods when I encounter them in conversations with reasonable suggestions, pointing to proper Catholic teaching and and references to scripture. I have tried (quite inadequatley) to show the faith in action by the way I live and the by way I raise my kids (all 11) this seems a better way than debating. Just my .02
 
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DADo11:
I am a convert that followed the convoluted path of protestant,to agnostic,to atheist (a very anti catholic one at that ) and finally home to the Catholic church. When I was a poorly informed atheist I would taunt my Catholic buddies about there silly religious views and debate the uselessness of religion in general with my penticostal best friend. After my conversion to the faith, (praise be to the Lord Jesus Christ) My pentacostal friend questioned my new found beliefs causing me to start to learn how to explain this wonderous new faith of mine. We never argued but he challanged me to know my faith better. What really got me into apologetics was my older brother, My family stayed at his house on vacation right after my conversion and the topic of religion came up right away, he is a staunch anti catholic fundamentalist and he had me reeling under all of his attacks on the Church and it’s false teachings. We drove home that summer angry hurt and humilated that we were so unprepared that we couldn’t defend our faith. I must admit that I got a dose of my own medicine! The Lord had provided me with a lesson in humility that is for certain. I went home and read every book I could find and subscribed to “This Rock” as well, after years of study and preperation I talked to my brother and he agreed to go with me to Steubenville for a men’s conference. I have to admit the debates all went my way, I ran circles around him and all his points were based on simple anti catholic bigotry he had picked up over the years. God then showed me my next lesson, because I lacked charity and compassion and only wanted to “win the arguement” my brother remains enstranged from me (and the Church) to this day and even though I won that debate I lost my brother. I have since retired from activly debating protestants and lapsed Catholics (my family is filled with both). I simply try to correct misconceptions and outright falsehoods when I encounter them in conversations with reasonable suggestions, pointing to proper Catholic teaching and and references to scripture. I have tried (quite inadequatley) to show the faith in action by the way I live and the by way I raise my kids (all 11) this seems a better way than debating. Just my .02
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Praise God for YOU! You are a person of passion!!! Keep witnessing friend, even if it costs. I’ve lost 2 friends also because of sharing my faith, in which I did nothing wrong. I do think those who estrange themselves from us, perhaps the Holy Spirit is convicting. By God’s Grace, they’ll come around. I know how you feel. Sometimes, I think I have to perhaps go about it a little less strong. But at least you’re not a wishy washy Catholic–there’s way too many of those around. Bless You–may God use you as His Instrument in 2005!!!

Your Friend~~
 
On a daily basis I witness Christ and his true Church out of Charity to those around me. As a general rule from experience, I never debate, I simply give the reasons (Mainly FACTS) why I am Catholic and why I will not be quiet about it.

The reason I cannot be quiet about it, is because it is a tremendous gift which we must share out of Love. I also firmly believe that we in the know are much much more culpable before God for not sharing his FULL GOSPEL. This at times can make one not the most popular as some truths do challenge people.

As I live in the UK, most are secualr or lapsed Catholic/C of E. I find it very important to use words as nowadays people often have not clue about God, Religion, Christ , True Church.

Normally I will only evangelise someone once and then I leave ti to then to ask questions etc. I always have on my person some material such as a “Pillar of Fire, Pillar of truth” booklet but again experience has taught me when and what materials to provide or what website to recommend.

The quickest way I find to evangelise is to say, even to a stranger in a quick conversation along the lines of

"Are you online.

Normal reply - Yes (If no give them a booklet)

I am interested in Truth, what about you???

Normal reply - Yes, of course I am.

I recommend you go to www.catholic.com, it answers many of the big questions., have a nice day."

I that 10 seconds of dialogue, you have offered that person all the answers with even been an expert or offending them in any way.

This short technique I find useful on taxi drivers, door attendants, waiters, shop assistants, complete strangers. Always with a smile, especially after you have given them a nice tip with a big smile. It is another soul given a chance of knowing Christ.

Within a year, an able bodied person can have personally witnessed to upto a couple of thousand people without any effort or discomfort whatsoever, simply going about your day to day business. The rest is up to the Holy Spirit.
 
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