Do you find it hard to experience God's love?

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When I was in college, I would go to the student center and there a lot of the ministries focused on God’s love and healing power. There were retreats and stuff, and they would talk about how being part of the body of Christ meant we were adopted children of God and there was a focus on grace and it really lent to this feeling that God was patient with us in our failings and that as we live lives of repentance He would help us along and smile on us as we grow in holiness.

Maybe it’s a different crowd that I’m with now (after college) but these days it always feels like I am being held over a fire. I don’t know if it is because of the parish that I have been attending, literature that I have been reading or just a change in attitude, but living a life of repentance is not as joyful as it used to be for me. I no longer have this feeling like Jesus is helping me along, but I feel that God is always angry with me and every time I do sin, I feel hopelessly far from God, almost to the point of despair. Even after I go to confession I no longer experience joy or relief, only shame for what I have confessed.

I am wondering if anyone else feels this way.
 
CompSciGuy said:
When I was in college, I would go to the student center and there a lot of the ministries focused on God’s love and healing power. There were retreats and stuff, and they would talk about how being part of the body of Christ meant we were adopted children of God and there was a focus on grace and it really lent to this feeling that God was patient with us in our failings and that as we live lives of repentance He would help us along and smile on us as we grow in holiness.

Maybe it’s a different crowd that I’m with now (after college) but these days it always feels like I am being held over a fire. I don’t know if it is because of the parish that I have been attending, literature that I have been reading or just a change in attitude, but living a life of repentance is not as joyful as it used to be for me. I no longer have this feeling like Jesus is helping me along, but I feel that God is always angry with me and every time I do sin, I feel hopelessly far from God, almost to the point of despair. Even after I go to confession I no longer experience joy or relief, only shame for what I have confessed.

I am wondering if anyone else feels this way.
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If find myself where you are often my friend. Don’t always trust your “feelings”, always trust Jesus in the midst of such “feelings”. At the ripe old age of 60 years God is still trying to get this simple Truth through my thick skull. 🙂

“In the dark night of the soul, bright flows the river of God.” (St. John of the Cross)

Blessings
 
The more I fix my attention on myself, the worse I feel and act. When I gaze upon the Eucharistic Face of Jesus, I find peace, confidence and joy.

‘My heart hath said to thee: My face hath sought thee: thy face, O Lord, will I still seek.’ (Ps. 27:8)

Read St. Gertrude and Blosius!
 
All the time.

Why do you think I chose the screen name that I did? 😦
 
CompSciGuy said:
When I was in college, I would go to the student center and there a lot of the ministries focused on God’s love and healing power. There were retreats and stuff, and they would talk about how being part of the body of Christ meant we were adopted children of God and there was a focus on grace and it really lent to this feeling that God was patient with us in our failings and that as we live lives of repentance He would help us along and smile on us as we grow in holiness.

Maybe it’s a different crowd that I’m with now (after college) but these days it always feels like I am being held over a fire. I don’t know if it is because of the parish that I have been attending, literature that I have been reading or just a change in attitude, but living a life of repentance is not as joyful as it used to be for me. I no longer have this feeling like Jesus is helping me along, but I feel that God is always angry with me and every time I do sin, I feel hopelessly far from God, almost to the point of despair. Even after I go to confession I no longer experience joy or relief, only shame for what I have confessed.

I am wondering if anyone else feels this way.
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I’m sure we have all felt that way at some period.
But Jesus demonstrated time and time again how unlimited his forgiveness is.

I feel sure you will return to that earlier stage when you experienced God’s love, because, even if you aren’t feeling it at the present, it seems obvious from your post God is close to you.
 
Yes, but then I expect to go to hell when I die. Things can only get worse, never better.
 
I experience His love and mercy daily.
Plus, I figure He must have an amazing sense of humor, given my tendencies. :o
He’s pulled me from the fire more times than I can count.
It’s almost embarrassing how much He loves us.
He never seems to close His arms on the cross. They are always open to us, even when we’re such a cheerless people.

I think of that Gospel story about the woman at the well. She kept trying to tell Him that He wasn’t’ supposed to speak to her. He was like “Hey! I’m THIRSTY! Gimme a break! Forget rules. I’m talking to you, I’m asking for water!”

They had a nice conversation. He revealed Himself to her.
Have a conversation. Try a bit of humor. Try to not be negative (although it is very hard when one is suffering, yes, absolutely.)
Try to trust.
TELL Him that you’re giving all the pain to Him. Tell Him it’s OK to use you for good.
Tell Him you don’t mind being placed in a place where you can be His hands and feet to someone else.
And then stand back and feel His love.
 
Pat_Albertson said:
Yes, but then I expect to go to hell when I die. Things can only get worse, never better.
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ooook… well if you’ve already made up your mind about that then I guess God won’t do anything to stop you…

Have you thought maybe about going to confession? Repenting?

What makes you think things can’t get better?
 
CompSciGuy said:
What makes you think things can’t get better?
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My life. I’m old, sick, depressed, don’t make enough to pay my rent or my debt, and will probably be out on the street before much longer. I wish I had never existed.

Looking back over my life, there is a logical progression, and spending eternity in hell is the logical culmination of that progression.
 
Pat_Albertson said:
My life. I’m old, sick, depressed, don’t make enough to pay my rent or my debt, and will probably be out on the street before much longer. I wish I had never existed.

Looking back over my life, there is a logical progression, and spending eternity in hell is the logical culmination of that progression.
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Read the Beatitudes. You’re on the path.
Heaven is not for those who have always had it “easy”. It’s for those who persevere.
 
Pat_Albertson said:
My life. I’m old, sick, depressed, don’t make enough to pay my rent or my debt, and will probably be out on the street before much longer. I wish I had never existed.

Looking back over my life, there is a logical progression, and spending eternity in hell is the logical culmination of that progression.
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Please don’t think like that. Please pray to Our Blessed Mother. And please understand that I can relate to how you are thinking. I, too, am older. Not much to look forward to but more of the same in this world, but I am hoping that it will be better, much better, in the next.

Even if you only can manage to pray one Hail Mary every day, ask Our Lady to help you.

You do not want to spend an eternity in Hell. If your life has been awful, it has been awful for others too. Some breeze through life; others hit every red light on every corner from the moment they are born.

I will keep you in my prayers.
 
What if you only had today what you thanked God for yesterday?

Feelings come and go. When we don’t “feel” God’s love, it’s easier to recognize it through literally counting our blessings. We may not realize just how much we are loved until we do that.
 
Pat_Albertson said:
My life. I’m old, sick, depressed, don’t make enough to pay my rent or my debt, and will probably be out on the street before much longer. I wish I had never existed.

Looking back over my life, there is a logical progression, and spending eternity in hell is the logical culmination of that progression.
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You are in my prayers, my friend.

The Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;
the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. (Numbers 6:24-26)
 
Bill_Martin said:
What if you only had today what you thanked God for yesterday?

Feelings come and go. When we don’t “feel” God’s love, it’s easier to recognize it through literally counting our blessings. We may not realize just how much we are loved until we do that.
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Sure, but feelings also affect us on a daily basis. At some level they affect the decisions we make and our approach to life.
 
CompSciGuy said:
Sure, but feelings also affect us on a daily basis. At some level they affect the decisions we make and our approach to life.
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There’s also a difference between expecting to “feel” something in prayer, and developing a feeling of peace and contentment in our lives, which is more akin to acceptance and belief, than an actual physical feeling. Many people ask questions about “hearing the voice of God” or “god spoke to me” and they believe that people are actually HEARING a man’s voice in their head. Some things are a figure of speech.
I feel God in my life, but it’s not a sensation.
It’s the need for sensation and physical touch that gets people confused.

Our mental “feelings” are what drive our daily actions. Those can be developed by a good prayer life, an openness to the inspiration of the Holy Spirit and a willingness to be led.
 
CompSciGuy said:
Do you find it hard to experience God’s love?..I am wondering if anyone else feels this way.
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Yes, I find it hard to experience God’s love. However, I cannot identify exactly with your description of your experience. I definitely do not “feel” loved by God. It is critical I focus on what the Bible teaches us and continue cultivating an attitude of gratitude. Often our emotions and thoughts are disordered. It is unfortunate, and incredibly unpleasant. We must strive to maintain a hold on the truth of God’s love for us and decide to act accordingly. When emotions and unhealthy cognitive patterns are a constant enemy, life can be quite wearying. Keep carrying the cross.
Pat_Albertson said:
My life. I’m old, sick, depressed, don’t make enough to pay my rent or my debt, and will probably be out on the street before much longer. I wish I had never existed.

Looking back over my life, there is a logical progression, and spending eternity in hell is the logical culmination of that progression.
Click to expand...
That has been a recurring thought for me also. If I try to observe my life from a unbiased, 3rd person point of view, that 3rd person says “None of this is surprising. Evidence indicates this is not going to get better or end well.” However, that is not an objective analysis. It is biased, as I believe is your perception of your situation. That view is the result of our wounds and is not reality. If you are suffering from clinical depression, melancholia, I pray you get the assistance you need.
 
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