Do you get along with your Pastor or Parochial Vicar more?

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CatholicZ09

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I’m not sure where to put this, but oh well. Who do you get along with more? I seem to like my Parochial Vicar more.
 
not really an issue here, as I can only think of a couple of parishes, and they have order priests, that have more than one assigned priests. A couple have extra priests residing there who help out with Mass etc, but have other diocesan assignments. I get along with all priests, including those who have been serving us on weekends while our pastor is sick. We are so glad to have Mass we appreciate and love all of them.

I’ve worked as volunteer or paid staff in parish life for almost 30 years and I can’t say I have ever had more than a professional and pastoral relationship with any of them, not to the point where I could accurately compare more than the outward aspects of their personalities so “liking” one more than another really has never arisen. I just can’t say I know any of them well enough. In a couple of instances where I have made a judgement about their personalities based on appearances, it turns out I was wildly wrong.
 
puzzleannie said:
I’ve worked as volunteer or paid staff in parish life for almost 30 years and I can’t say I have ever had more than a professional and pastoral relationship with any of them, not to the point where I could accurately compare more than the outward aspects of their personalities so “liking” one more than another really has never arisen.
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Before I met her, my wife spend several years working as an academic counselor at a seminary. During the course of her employment, she worked very closely with many priests, most of whom she respected, and many of whom she liked. In fact, she became close friends with a few of them. Of course, since they are just people - and not everyone is going to like everyone else, she disliked a few of them. I once asked her what it was like working so closely with a large number of priests. Her response: “They’re just as full of **** as anyone else.”
 
At the parish I attend, there is the Parochial Vicor and an Associate Pastor… Since I’ve known the Associate longer and also since our sensibilites are very similar when it comes to music (and they weren’t shared by other parishoners at his former parish… so I comisserated with him a few times), I suppose I communicate and get along better with him. Although, frankly, I’m a bit intimidated by Msgnr… I’ve been told by several graduates of the Catholic High School (where he was a teacher and choir director for many years) of their fear and intimidation of him, and I guess that’s rubbed off on me a bit… although, I have had a few conversations (well… just slightly more than “Good morning Msgnr. How are you?”) and he seems very kind. I have heard that he, too, shares similar tastes in liturgical music, so perhaps I will start a conversation on that subject with him at my next opportunity.
 
While I get along with my pastor, my parochial vicar is also one of my dearest friends. I served under him when he was rector at the Cathedral and I learned a lot about the liturgy from him. We are also like-minded on 99.9% of the liturgy. We share many concerns, especially about sacred music and we are both eager about the new translations. His homilies are also of the highest caliber.
 
We also have a one-man show. We are fortunate to have a pastor and not have to share him with another parish, as we did with our last pastor. I have a good working relationship with him and a pastoral relationship with him since he is also my confessor (and an awesome one at that). I got to be fairly close to our previous pastor, and have stayed somewhat in contact with him by email and visiting over a meal a couple of times a year.
 
In my case, I was recently transferred to serve at a new parish, new pastor and we have very much mutual respect, since we have been volunteering at our new parish for their pastor. We have a great relationship.

However, the pastor I just left…no relationship, in fact he didn’t want me to serve there.
My Vicar is incredible. He is the most sincere caring bishop ever and a bundle of energy as our shepherd.
 
I get along much better with the pastor. I have worked with him for 9 years and he is very fair, compassionate and shows great concern for all. Our new parochial vicar is another story. I really don’t know why he became a priest because he really does not seem to like people, does his own thing when it comes to celebrating sacraments (and he is arc conservative, which confuses me on why he doesn’t follow rubrics), and has told people how how hard his life is living in one room in a rectory, and often says inappropriate things.
 
I adore our pastor, he is a very saintly man. One parochial vicar was very charismatic and as the leader of the youth group, someone we got to know very well. Our parochial vicars are re-assigned about every 3 years, so we know our pastor best simply because we’ve known him longer. In this diocese, you can easily be pre-disposed to like every priest you met and not be disappointed. 😃
 
benedictgal said:
While I get along with my pastor, my parochial vicar is also one of my dearest friends. I served under him when he was rector at the Cathedral and I learned a lot about the liturgy from him. We are also like-minded on 99.9% of the liturgy. We share many concerns, especially about sacred music and we are both eager about the new translations. His homilies are also of the highest caliber.
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thanks for sharing.it is useful and great for me 🙂
 
We’ve been blessed in our parish with a PV who is brilliant, compassionate and very kind. Our pastor is harder to read, but oddly enough, it is he who I have a better relationship with. It’s not that I have a bad one with our PV, it’s just that I relate to him on a different level. Our pastor is my spiritual director, my confessor and my friend. Our PV is a really great priest, but I haven’t really bonded with him in the same way.
 
kristie_m said:
We’ve been blessed in our parish with a PV who is brilliant, compassionate and very kind. Our pastor is harder to read, but oddly enough, it is he who I have a better relationship with. It’s not that I have a bad one with our PV, it’s just that I relate to him on a different level. Our pastor is my spiritual director, my confessor and my friend. Our PV is a really great priest, but I haven’t really bonded with him in the same way.
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Haha. I’m somewhat the same as you. There are several reasons why I don’t really like my Pastor as much as my Parochial Vicar, for instance, my Pastor has been with us since May of 2007, and at first we liked him. However, during his FIRST week in our church, he fired our organist of 20 years for no apparent reason, however, under talkings with others and strong disagreements with office workers, he re-hired him. Then, just recently our Spritual Director who has been with us for so many years, was telling us that she was having a conversation with him and he said “Why aren’t you eating?” (Conversation took place at a parish dinner or something on the line) and she said “Oh, I can’t eat this food, it doesn’t agree with me.” Then he said: “Then why are you so fat?” That really crossed the line. We just recently got a new PV in July, and I am getting along with him like I’ve never gotten along with a priest before. We have become dearest friends and I am actually one of the first teens he met. I was at Mass on the first time he did it for a baptism, and then he was invited afterwards to the dinner, and I got to meet him and he was just an awesome person to talk to. His homilies are excellent, and he’s so humble, caring, and compassionate. He relates to everyone and everyone in our parish practically loves him.
 
When I first converted and started going to my parish we had this one pastor who was an excellent business man at least the church was debt free I did not have a major problem with him except when we had function he always ended up stepping on my foot but I really had agreat love and respect for the parochial vicar since he was the one who took me thru private instruction when I converted to the faith the when the pastor that I just referred to retired we got this other priest from another parish who liked to spend money and that had a thing for the rich and I along with alot of other people have had their rifts with him Mine went down something like this about 2 or 3 time a year we have a newcomers brunch and the lady that is in charge of that likes to have someone there that knows their way around the parish can speak spanish and has good people skills of which I have a job that requires thiose skills well I asked her if I could put in a good word about the library since I took care of it and she said sure so when the ministry leaders said something about their ministrys I put in a few word about the library because people had been asking if we had one after the brunch was over I said to m onsignor I hope you didnt mind me adding my two cents worth in since I did get permission from the person in charge and he says no comment so a couple of days later I inquire about his response and this is what he said well when you come to things that you are not invited to that makes it hard for me and I later found out that when newcomers would register and put their names in for the brunch monsignor would inquire about what their income was and if it was below a certain amount they would not get invitedand he has acted in that mannner since he first came to our parish He will have church dinners and only invite the rich people
 
Putting on my Church Police hat, I think this is a silly question and I am sure there is some very devout person that will tell us we are not permitted to like our priests. But since I am nearing the end of my work week and in a good mood, I think I will give my two cents worth.

I am on staff at a large parish. I am the Asst DRE. Over my 42 years I have gotten to know many priests, but not like I have for the past five years. These men are men. They all have their own share of charisims, talents and personalities. I like them all equally. They all love kids. When any one of them celebrates children’s Masses, the Holy Trinity is definitely in the room. Sure, the kids seem to have a favorite - and that is ok.
 
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