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Penance94
Guest
Whether it’s “wimpish” or not, Is it a valid confession?
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Elizabeth502
Guest
Penance94,
Very little is essential for a valid confession.
You must describe all serious sins and their number (or approximate frequency), be inwardly repentant, declare that repentance orally through some act of contrition during the sacrament, resolve to avoid those & all sins to the best of your ability (which includes the important phrase, “avoid the near occasions of sin”), and receive (& intend to complete humbly) the penance prescribed by the priest.
But let us remember that confession is an enormous font of spiritual grace and is unique to Catholicism. It is not just cleansing; it is empowering and enlightening. The sacrament is for our benefit, not the benefit of the confessor (even though a confessor often does benefit, directly or indirectly). Therefore, as with any other sacrament, the keys to those benefits are preparation, disposition, and execution.
Thus, in the above example, I would find it most beneficial and honest to state, “I was so irresponsible and so disrespected my body and my fidelity to God, that I got drunk Saturday night, which resulted in my oversleeping and being ill-disposed to attend and profit from Mass, which I missed.” (Probably too long a sentence, but for me the details are important, no matter how crisply, briefly stated.)
Other people may find that over-the-top, but I just find it helpful to frame what surrounds sin and leads to other sin: temptation, irresponsibility, self-indulgence, laziness, and all the consequences thereof.
Very little is essential for a valid confession.
You must describe all serious sins and their number (or approximate frequency), be inwardly repentant, declare that repentance orally through some act of contrition during the sacrament, resolve to avoid those & all sins to the best of your ability (which includes the important phrase, “avoid the near occasions of sin”), and receive (& intend to complete humbly) the penance prescribed by the priest.
But let us remember that confession is an enormous font of spiritual grace and is unique to Catholicism. It is not just cleansing; it is empowering and enlightening. The sacrament is for our benefit, not the benefit of the confessor (even though a confessor often does benefit, directly or indirectly). Therefore, as with any other sacrament, the keys to those benefits are preparation, disposition, and execution.
Thus, in the above example, I would find it most beneficial and honest to state, “I was so irresponsible and so disrespected my body and my fidelity to God, that I got drunk Saturday night, which resulted in my oversleeping and being ill-disposed to attend and profit from Mass, which I missed.” (Probably too long a sentence, but for me the details are important, no matter how crisply, briefly stated.)
Other people may find that over-the-top, but I just find it helpful to frame what surrounds sin and leads to other sin: temptation, irresponsibility, self-indulgence, laziness, and all the consequences thereof.
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Penance94
Guest
What about in a general confession? it would take days to use your method.
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twf
Guest
You must be repentant, of course. But is it strictly NECESSARY for validity to make an oral act of contrition? Isn’t your very presence in the confessional an act of contrition? Isn’t the very act of articulating your sins an act of contrition? There have been many, many times in the confessional where I have not made an act of contrition in an explicit, oral sense…I find that it is very rare that the priests ask for this or gives you the opportunity to make one. As long as you are repentant and do not deliberately hold back any mortal sins, once the priest says the words of absolution, your sin is forgiven.
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MissMichal
Guest
I typically don’t go into detail. I find it takes more strength of faith to say “I committed adultery” rather than launch into a story about “there was this guy…” If the priest needs clarification, he asks, and I give more detail.
I do an examination of conscience and spend some time in prayer before I go to confession, and I write a list of what I need to confess. I try to g often enough that it stays short
Peace,
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I do an examination of conscience and spend some time in prayer before I go to confession, and I write a list of what I need to confess. I try to g often enough that it stays short
Peace,
-S-
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whatevergirl
Guest
An act of contrition should be said, if you are able to…but there was a time recently, when I forgot my little prayer card that has the act of the contrition on the back
and for the life of me, I can’t remember this on my own. I don’t know why. I try to memorize it, but I forget it halfway through. So, I told the priest (this was last year) that I don’t ‘know it by heart,’ and he said…‘that is ok, for your penance…’ I was absolved in this unusual circumstance, without speaking an act of contrition.I’m assuming that if my confession were somehow not valid because of this, he would have said so.
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JimG
Guest
I like this method. State the sin and then keep quiet. Unsolicited details begin to sound like excuses.I typically don’t go into detail. I find it takes more strength of faith to say “I committed adultery” rather than launch into a story about “there was this guy…” If the priest needs clarification, he asks, and I give more detail.
I do an examination of conscience and spend some time in prayer before I go to confession, and I write a list of what I need to confess. I try to g often enough that it stays short
Peace,
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baltobetsy
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thevickinator16
Guest
I have done both regular confession and confession by appointment. It seems to me if you need to express the details of a sin, they should be given. In deference to those waiting, one should try and keep it brief. I still believe that speaking all the details out loud for mortal sins does seem more beneficial. I believe confession is very personal and each person has there own way. I believe as long as it is said with a contrite heart and humbleness and a complete examination of conscience, then you have accomplished what you came to do. Our Lord loves us no matter how we present our sins, as long as we leave with a vow to sin no more and to mean it.
As for the Ten Commandments, I have a phamplet of the Commandments. It lists each Commandment and a variety of sins for each. It just makes it easier to remember when I actually get in the confessional.
God Bless!!
As for the Ten Commandments, I have a phamplet of the Commandments. It lists each Commandment and a variety of sins for each. It just makes it easier to remember when I actually get in the confessional.
God Bless!!
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AHapka
Guest
I think some details are absolutely necessary. Not giving them can obscure the seriousness of the sin.
For example, let’s say I don’t give any details and confess “Father, I told one lie last week.”
Wouldn’t it be better to give details and say:
“Father I lied to my wife about where I was because she doesn’t like my friend so-and-so”; or
“Father I lied to my wife about where I was because I had lunch with a girl I met at work, in regards to another job she is thinking of getting and she needed someone to talk to, and my wife is the jealous type and she might think something was going on even though nothing was”; or
“Father I lied to my wife about where I was because I had lunch with a girl I met at work, and we have been flirting with each other and I’m sexually attracted to her”; or
“Father I lied to my friend when I told him that I liked his friend, even though I don’t, because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings”; or
“Father I lied at work because I made a huge mistake and would get in really big trouble”; or
“Father I lied to a friend about not being able to go to her party because she doesn’t take rejection well and I didn’t want to upset her.”
A lie is a sin. It could be venial or mortal. To just confess that you told one lie is very vague and doesn’t help the priest assess the seriousness of the sin.
It doesn’t need to take a long time, but I’d say that giving the priest some background information is absolutely essential in allowing him to assess the sin and determine a proper penance.
For example, let’s say I don’t give any details and confess “Father, I told one lie last week.”
Wouldn’t it be better to give details and say:
“Father I lied to my wife about where I was because she doesn’t like my friend so-and-so”; or
“Father I lied to my wife about where I was because I had lunch with a girl I met at work, in regards to another job she is thinking of getting and she needed someone to talk to, and my wife is the jealous type and she might think something was going on even though nothing was”; or
“Father I lied to my wife about where I was because I had lunch with a girl I met at work, and we have been flirting with each other and I’m sexually attracted to her”; or
“Father I lied to my friend when I told him that I liked his friend, even though I don’t, because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings”; or
“Father I lied at work because I made a huge mistake and would get in really big trouble”; or
“Father I lied to a friend about not being able to go to her party because she doesn’t take rejection well and I didn’t want to upset her.”
A lie is a sin. It could be venial or mortal. To just confess that you told one lie is very vague and doesn’t help the priest assess the seriousness of the sin.
It doesn’t need to take a long time, but I’d say that giving the priest some background information is absolutely essential in allowing him to assess the sin and determine a proper penance.
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Elizabeth502
Guest
LOL, probably true for some of us. (Maybe yours truly.
)But seriously, those who make appointments for general confessions, such as converts from other faith traditions have reported (for example, on Journey Home) that their general confessions took “several hours.”
(Sounds about right.)
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Elizabeth502
Guest
Depends on the details, Jim. Also, adultery is pretty straightforward, athough for that, too, frequency should be mentioned if more than once. But in many situations (such as a lie which is perjury vs. a social lie, or petty theft vs. grand theft), the context is important as to gravity. Not talking an hour here, but seconds.
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thevickinator16
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agoukass
Guest
I never give details for specific sins except when I say how often they have occurred.
I give detailed answers when the priest asks for clarification.
I give detailed answers when the priest asks for clarification.
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thevickinator16
Guest
OOPS! Goofed that up.
AHapka, I think you expressed it perfectly. You got to most of what I was thinking in words much better than I.
I was thinking that the Ten Commandments are not the only guidelines for a good examination of conscience The seven deadly sins are also very good for other aspects of your soul. They are distinctly separated in the catechism. Though some so cross-over some, I think they are quite different. Almost like the Ten Commandments are about actions in the world and the seven deadly sins our in our souls. I may not be getting this as straight as I am thinking it.
Our confessional has at least 7 different prayers of contrition posted by the screen. They have the one I was taught as a child and that is what I use. I wonder though if confession is valid if you did not say an Act of Contrition? If a priest absolves you, then he must believe you are sorry. Why wouln’t a priest walk a person through the prayer if they have forgotten it or a part of it?
God Bless!!
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LilyM
Guest
There is absolutely no requirement to say an Act of Contrition during confession. That being the case, there’s no need for the priest to ‘walk you through’ one if you’ve forgotten it.
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JimG
Guest
I have no problem with seconds, and sometimes circumstances count even when details don’t matter.
For example “I committed perjury in a murder case,” is one thing. “I flirted with a coworker and lied to my wife about it,” is another.
“I was impure with a girl,” is less specific than “I committed fornication with my girlfriend five times last week.”
I’m just saying that the important details can be covered in a sentence.
I’d be curious what priests think about confessional styles.
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tngail
Guest
Thank you for this thread. God Bless
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thevickinator16
Guest
Your comment made me curious. I looked The Act of Contrition up in the Canon Law. The only reference to an Act of Contritution was in Law 962, sentence 2. This was in regards to general absolution of many. Now I am confused. What is the real truth?
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LilyM
Guest
Canon 959 sets out the criteria for a valid confession:
“Canon 959 In the sacrament of penance the faithful who confess their sins to a legitimate minister, are sorry for them, and intend to reform themselves obtain from God through the absolution imparted by the same minister forgiveness for the sins they have committed after baptism and, at the same, time are reconciled with the Church which they have wounded by sinning.”
You can determine the four requirements for a valid confession from this canon. It states that in order to ‘obtain … forgiveness’ you need to
a) confess your sins to a legitimate minister
b) BE sorry for them (which is a different thing to SAYING you’re sorry, of course) and
c) intend to reform yourself
d) receive absolution from the minister
Sounds pretty clear that it’s the existence of sorrow for sin, rather than the saying of an Act of Sorrow for sin, that obtains forgivenss no? And therefore that an Act of Contrition is unnecessary.
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