Do you have catholic friends who married an non believer?

  • Thread starter Thread starter dann
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
You have no idea who or how devout either of my parents are or were.

You’re wrong, for the record - since not all Baptists are that disrespectful.

I’m 44. When I told my mother, who is 84, that I was converting, she told me, “Did you hear the shouting? Your dad must’ve yelled he finally got one.”. 😂😂 So no, no fights. We grew up surrounded by all faiths and traditions at military chapels all over the US.

Some people actually do know respect. Some of us were taught it. Don’t assume your thoughts are accurate.

This was all edifying for me at retirement, when in NC I saw how ignorant people can be. And I could handle it.

A serious Christian respects the faiths of others.

My mother looked into converting at one point and decided it wasn’t for her. As my dad left this world she would not leave the nurse’s station until the priest arrived for my father’s final rites. She sat with him as the priest carried them out, holding a very still hand. She had his rosary placed in his hands in the casket and another one of flowers on the lid as it was lowered into the ground at Arlington.

She did not agree with his beliefs. She loved and respected him, and thus also his beliefs.

My mom and I have had some wonderful conversations during my journey to the Church. “Keep doing what you’re doing - you do what is right for you, and don’t let anyone change your mind. This is for you, not them.” Her words, not mine.

I’m not concerned with what you believe you know. I know what I saw, what I was taught, and what they lived - and what she continues to teach me now.
 
The OP’s original post talked about Catholics marrying “non-believers”.

There is a rather big difference between a Catholic marrying a non-Catholic Christian, especially one who has had Trinitarian baptism in their Christian church, and a Catholic marrying someone who does not believe in Christ or in God.

It’s frankly not that big of a leap if the both of you are on the same page with baptism and with accepting Jesus Christ as your savior. It is a much bigger leap if the person is not Christian, or does not believe in God at all.
 
Syllogism said:
“Well, it worked out for me” doesn’t mean anything. If a thief steals from Walmart and benefits from it without ever receiving temporal punishment and then posts in response to someone that’s talking about the teaching of Scripture or the Church on theft that it worked out for them, that’s not an argument. It’s just flagrant admission to doing something wrong and demonstrates a clear lack of remorse for it.
Click to expand...
The person to whom you are speaking is talking about a happy marriage of over 50 years. This is something to be celebrated, not lumped in with “thieves stealing from Walmart”.

Please think about the charity of your comments.

I have many Protestants in my family and they do not sit around disrespecting my Catholic faith. I was also married in the Catholic Church to a Presbyterian for 23 years who likewise was respectful of my faith and would occasionally go to Mass or pray with me.
I do not claim that my anecdotal evidence means it’s going to work out nicely in every case, but neither does your anecdotal evidence about how all Protestants are disrespectful have a lock on the truth.
 
I know it’s anecdotal.

Everyone’s experience is anecdotal. It’s the essence of experience.

The point of sharing experience isn’t to say LOOK AT ME, I AM SPECIAL. It’s to say this is what I lived, this is what happened, this is what I saw. It can be done. Here is someone who did it. Doesn’t matter if it doesn’t follow what’s expected.

Most things shared are anecdotal. We’re either sharing an experience that’s different from the expected, or that mirrors it. No one needs to point that out - we know it.

I know Catholics are seen as damnable - I grew up as the kid of one! I’ve heard it all. I was the half Yankee kid with a German name with the Catholic dad in small town NC when my dad retired. Oh trust me - I know. It was repulsive and ignorant and sad and just messed up on multiple levels. It taught me a LOT about human nature. To be honest, their anecdotal experiences with Catholics didn’t write the rule books either - because others had different norms that they’d never been privy to.

Generalizations aren’t the rule either, though. What is a norm for many may not have been the experience of the few.

It was your assumptions about my experience that rattled me. But I can share my anecdotal experiences, just as others can.
 
Syllogism said:
No serious Presbyterian would marry a Catholic. Knox and Calvin, the fathers of Presbyterianism, would roll in their graves. And let’s drop the emotional vomiting and stick to the facts. Given the teachings of these denominations on Catholicism, if you can tell me you think these people marrying Catholics took their faith seriously, I don’t know what to tell you other than read a book.

And if you can’t be bothered to do that, just watch some episodes of Catholic Answers and listen to the callers.
Click to expand...
You seem to be deciding that somebody is “serious” about their faith based on whether they act like a jerk to those of another faith.

Respectfully, I don’t think you have a clue about marriage, “seriousness” about a faith, or this entire subject.

Telling those of us who have actually experienced interactions in our own families for decades to go watch videos on Catholic Answers is laughable.

Have a nice day.
 
Last edited:
I have to ask.

Why are you making these sweeping statements? “No serious Presbyterian would marry a Catholic”. Who cares what dead founders or forefathers would think?
 
It can be a boon to your happiness to know your husband married you when you weren’t a Catholic. It can show that you were such a wonderful person, he was willing to let go of an important religious consideration to marry you.

Of course it’s all a bit like deciding whether to vaccinate your child or not. Statistics lean one way, and personal choice lies in another direction. At this point, I’d say always marry a Catholic… unless you don’t. The more important consideration is how the person views the indissolubility of marriage. If you have solid vows, there are many years in which to convert your spouse. In the above case with the Baptist for 54 years, who knows? One more year of marriage might have done it.
 
I think I’ll let the Church, through her Bishops & Priests, decide whether or not it’s OK. Since permission usually granted, who are you to decide you know better?

BTW, you need an updated Code of Canon Law. Yours is out of date. There have been changes to that canon.
 
Seriously?

“One more year of marriage might have done it.”

:roll_eyes:Edit - farther down thread, Lara says her comment was a bit tongue in cheek…and I can see that. Online often never translates well for any of us! 🙂 So my apologies @Lara for my misinterpretation.
 
Last edited:
Syllogism said:
No serious Presbyterian would marry a Catholic. Knox and Calvin, the fathers of Presbyterianism, would roll in their graves. And let’s drop the emotional vomiting and stick to the facts. Given the teachings of these denominations on Catholicism, if you can tell me you think these people marrying Catholics took their faith seriously, I don’t know what to tell you other than read a book.
Click to expand...
I say again…why?
 
I referred to your quote above. I’m not daft, actually. You said “what kind of stupid statement was that?”

I asked you, because you were the one who made it.
 
Why so defensive? I am, as are most people.

Do you think they gave a thought to how different the world would be 500 or so years later? A thousand years? 2000 years? Or that they knew or could’ve comprehended?

My husband is C of E. We’ve been married almost 18 years. I guess we too are doomed.
 
Last edited:
Wow, I should be so happy he lowered himself to me. :roll_eyes: I have no concerns about why my husband married me, I was just pointing out that it is unnecessarily rude for people to comment on it so adamantly.

And what a ridiculous comment on her parents. They were obviously happy and in love, and supportive of each other’s faith. What a beautiful story! How are you unable to see that?
 
I agree. It is nice to marry someone of the same faith, but there is so much more to relationships than just religion. As long as your significant other is respectful of your faith (and vice-versa), the marriage can work.
 
This makes no sense. Just none. The church does not teach against marrying non Catholic Christians. Haven’t we already covered that?
 
Syllogism said:
No serious Presbyterian would marry a Catholic. Knox and Calvin, the fathers of Presbyterianism, would roll in their graves. And let’s drop the emotional vomiting and stick to the facts. Given the teachings of these denominations on Catholicism, if you can tell me you think these people marrying Catholics took their faith seriously, I don’t know what to tell you other than read a book.

And if you can’t be bothered to do that, just watch some episodes of Catholic Answers and listen to the callers.
Click to expand...
No disrespect, but you seem to have a nasty attitude. I would suggest trying to see the good in things once in awhile, especially when a poster shares their story that is ALL good. No need to tear it down.
 
The canon says “without the express permission of the competent authority”. Said competent authorities give permission all the time as long as they have the Catholic’s promise not to defect from the Faith. I’ll still leave it up to them.

I didn’t realize the Vatican site had not updated the Code of Canon Law. It’s been 8 1/2 years since Pope Benedict ordered the changes.

http://w2.vatican.va/content/benedi...en-xvi_apl_20091026_codex-iuris-canonici.html
 
I can assure you my C of E husband - a British citizen - doesn’t consider himself Catholic at all. I haven’t actually ever heard any of my C of E in laws say that either. Anecdotal? Doesn’t really matter if it is. He doesn’t. Neither do they.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top