that’s interesting… I laughed a lot about that too… and then i began to wonder if there was something wrong with me for thinking it was funny…
)i never thought of this before reading your post… but maybe that (PTSD) is why police officers try to act so macho… They are undoubtedly afraid a lot of the time… (domestic violence situations are supposed to be the most dangerous for them)… & so, they over-compensate by trying to act (and BE) tough…The police especially, for one only, must see some horrific things indeed and have to live with the memories when the horror of it all is in part anyway concluded, but nothing can take away memories and that is intrinsic to the horror of it all.
…I am still learning much too, Distracted. CAF has been a Godsend for me and in very many ways. I am grateful and thankful. Amen.i never thought of this before reading your post… but maybe that (PTSD) is why police officers try to act so macho… They are undoubtedly afraid a lot of the time… (domestic violence situations are supposed to be the most dangerous for them)… & so, they over-compensate by trying to act (and BE) tough…
hmm… you learn something every day…
wow… i used to have this kind of negativity toward police officers (seen some bad ones in my time…) but you almost had me crying… i “felt their pain” so well while reading your post…We can forget with these dreadful crimes in the media, truly horrific things, that our police have had and daily mostly have to deal with it all, even actually see the most horrific things. Most are family men and women and have to go home to wife or husband and children and try to live normally with horrors in their memories. Our Police and their family and friends are victims of these crimes too…and we can be so unthankful for these men and women. Where would we be without a Police Force? That is only one side of the coin I know, but it is a truly humbling one and a matter to keep in prayer.
I knew a young policeman once with a young family and I was a close friend of his wife. He could not even relax at parties when he was off duty because of the way he was treated as a member of the police force…and even if some did not know, it went round like wildfire meaning to be joking, but it used to hurt him that he could not be just another guy at a party.
As we say, there is good and bad in everything. And I am quite sure that some of the people in our Police Forces fall into the second category…but most, I think, fall into the first. Our military too I think deserve careful reflecting. They too deal in the horrific - and especially active military who actually have to aim to kill another human being, and to know that there are other human beings engaged in the determination to kill them. All this (like the police) is in service to the community and perhaps with the milatary in a special sort of way since death or appalling for life injuries and suffering is not a something of a possible and rather remote likely, it is where active service on the front or fronts are concerned, a distinct potential. And all this as service to their country. Our governments must act to ensure that our military are cared for in every single aspect, and we have an obligation to ask them to do so. Many do return home with ptsd…and often to a wife and children and concerned and suffering for them, family and friends.
…and yet I think that it is still on the subject of ptsd, which I know from my ambulance driver is a really cruel suffering and a daily one - and often for an extremely long time, even lifelong. The military too can be victims of crime…the crime of evils in our world. War, though at times a just war and necessary, is an insanity indeed.No problem BarbaraTherese. It’s 04:30 here. I have been sleeping off and on for the past couple of weeks, getting up every couple of hours. I think it is part of the disorder. Yes, St. Michael, pray for our first responders and military. TimAs we say, there is good and bad in everything. And I am quite sure that some of the people in our Police Forces fall into the second category…but most, I think, fall into the first. Our military too I think deserve careful reflecting. They too deal in the horrific - and especially active military who actually have to aim to kill another human being, and to know that there are other human beings engaged in the determination to kill them. All this (like the police) is in service to the community and perhaps with the milatary in a special sort of way since death or appalling for life injuries and suffering is not a something of a possible and rather remote likely, it is where active service on the front or fronts are concerned, a distinct potential. And all this as service to their country. Our governments must act to ensure that our military are cared for in every single aspect, and we have an obligation to ask them to do so. Many do return home with ptsd…and often to a wife and children and concerned and suffering for them, family and friends.
Sorry to have somewhat hijacked this thread
Thanks Top for what you shared about ptsd, increasing my understanding of the disorder.
Barb
Hi Roza…I am sorry that you had a childhood of ACOA in potential, this must have been a dreadful time for you as a child especially.Was I ever ‘officially’ diagnosed? NO Have I had panic attacks before YES. Did secular counseling twice on my own, last one was when I was still a dabbler and told them about my spirit guides and the counselor said that was neat and it was something we (the world) needs to accept as being part of life… the supernatural. BUT obviously, I wasn’t dabbling in God’s version of the supernatural. At this point, unless I can meet up with someone sound in Catholic teaching (perhaps ask about a spiritual director again if I can’t find the priest from the Church I returned to Catholicism in) I’m not really interested in secular counseling. No offense to anyone in the profession but I know well how easily incorporated the new age is into the ‘world’ these days.
Mine would have stemmed from childhood too IF I have it… from what I’ve read on it I might. Definitely fit as ACOA, adult child of an alcholic.
I’m someone that doesn’t want it back. I don’t want to be walked through relaxation excercises or start thinking on ‘healing myself’ and all the other worldly stuff. Been there, done that and not going back.
One way you can track down a priest, or we can here in Australia, is to phone diocesan offices and give the priest’s name and ask where he is located currently. I have a couple of priests I stay in contact with periodically that way.
There are good counsellors and there are unhelpful ones. It is always good to sound out one’s counsellor, or indeed spiritaul director or any advice giver at all, to ensure that they are indeed on one’s ‘wavelength’ and not contradictory. I went through many years of psychiatrist’s thinking of my Faith as a pathology that needed curing…this was a grief too since it meant I had to battle them as well as my illness. However, Deo Gratius, my last two psychiatrists and over a span of some 10 years now have been really good, helpful and on my wavelength though they were (and are) athiests. They respected my Faith and did not consider it a pathology, rather the best support and encouragement I had. I admired both of them for their professionalism in not letting personal beliefs get in the way of sound therapy. They also knew their brief and where it ended and when I needed spiritual advice rather than a psychiatrist.
Plus hoping they’ll be familiar with people from the ex-dabbler crowd. Horoscopes, superstitions etc were all a part of my childhood so back then I thought that was all Catholic. I know better now.
Rest assured nerves or a level of anxiety/stress in the face of what is completely a new experience to one, is completely normal.
See my comments above. It is very hard when we have experienced security in a situation to have it suddenly taken from us and we must face what is totally new.
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You can always ring your diocesan offices and ask.
To be honest I feel totally helpless though I wish I could help you in some practical way. But I can pray and prayer is most always and forever the silent and hidden worker.Haven’t been to confession at the other Church yet. Can I say I feel a little overloaded on change these days?? Just a little normalcy back in life, just a titch.
Try to close the door on that part of your past if you can…it is over, kaput, finished, abandoned. It exists only in the filing cabinet we call memory. Dont open that file!!!
Good to catch up with again, Roza…Barb
Great Post…and by one who has walked the walk…very encouraging story and after an initially dreadful journey.I’ve been diagnosed with moderate chronic PTSD as a result of two all expenses paid vacations to Bosnia with the US Army. The first tour was with our initial deployment into Bosnia in December 1995 and the second was 1997-98.
When I came back from the second tour I was a totally changed person. I had all the classic symptoms: nightmares (some where you wake up screaming); insomnia (to avoid having nightmares); preoccupation with thinking about Bosnia (not quite flash backs but similar); loss of the ability to feel love or joy; sudden rage; hyper-vigilance; startle reflex; etc. There were some unique symptoms also linked to the experiences that caused the PTSD: couldn’t stand to be in groups or confined spaces; don’t walk on the grass; intolerance for sloppy training and screwed up leadership.
My wife kept telling me I needed to talk to someone. Being a macho guy I felt that would be a further sign of weakness. So, I self medicated with alcohol and spent long hours surfing the internet while the family slept. I ceased to be a member of the family and became a house guest seldom seen.
The funny thing was that I continued to function well at work. Work was actually a sanctuary in some ways. It was when I had time to think that I really had troubles.
My first Christmas home we had the whole extended family to the house. I couldn’t stand it. The house was too crowded. I spent most of my time in a corner of the room, with my back to the wall, where I could keep my eye on everyone or outside on the porch. My Mom, who was a psych nurse, finally sat me down and read me the riot act. She had me pegged. I also realized that I was getting worse.
So, I went to the psychologist. With medication and therapy I slowly got things back under control. For the past five years I’ve been off medications and therapy and been fairly normal without any severe symptoms. Just the occasional stray thought that is triggered by a smell or scene driving down a country road.
What I had to learn to do was put all the bad experiences and feelings of guilt on the table. Talk it out and eventually cry it out. Then put all that bad stuff in a jar in your mind and seal it up. It doesn’t do you any good to keep reliving it. Those thoughts and feelings can only hurt you if you let them.
My PTSD showed me that I probably made a bad choice making a career out of the Army. War games and training exercises are fun. Seeing the aftermath of the real thing and man’s capacity for savagery to his fellow man is something else.
The Church played a huge roll in my recovery. The spiritual and psychological blessings of confession; taking time out each day to attend daily Mass; the priest telling my wife not to divorce me because of all the stuff I put her through; and daily prayer and quite time with God.
Giving all your worries to God does help.
So, this has been my experience with PTSD. I don’t think you ever really get over it. What you learn to do is live with it in a constructive manner. Sort of like being a recovering alcoholic.
thanks for sharing…
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