Do you have the option of attending a parish that is in keeping with your understanding of Abuse-Free and Liturgically-Correct?

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Do you have the option of attending a parish that is in keeping with your understanding of Abuse-Free and Liturgically-Correct? Do you love it?

And while I’m asking, do you have the option of attending a parish that has music that you find uplifting and correct according to the documents of Holy Mother Church? Do you love the music and look forward to it every week?

Here’s why I’m asking. I often wonder why people who are so unhappy in their parish don’t attend another parish. 🤔

I realize that those living in small towns often don’t have that option, as their parish is the ONLY parish in town, and the nearby Bigger City is too far away to drive to. However, I seldom see posts from people who describe themselves as country folk involved with their small town’s only Catholic parish.

I also realize that for people with less resources (money, time, transportation, child care or elderly care, etc.), attending another parish is simply not an option, as their current parish is the most accessible for them. Is this the main reason that unhappy Catholics don’t attend another parish–lack of resources to do so? I’m so sorry about that.

Or is it family ties? People don’t want to leave the parish that many generations of their family have attended and perhaps still attend? I can certainly sympathize wit this, but it still seems sad that they are so unhappy.

Please help me to understand. I really feel badly for people who are so obviously miserable in their parish and are struggling to accept what they feel are liturgical abuses, irreverence, “banal” music, lack of Latin, people who dress too casually, people who talk in the nave, etc. I think it would be good if they could pick up stakes and start attending a parish where they not so conflicted and unhappy.

And I’m wondering if anyone has successfully tried a “shared commute” in which several families or individuals who are unhappy in their nearby parish get involved with a carpool or all go together to rent a minibus so that they can all attend a parish that is more edifying to them.

Thanks!
 
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Our pastor requires that we attend our parish church where we have our child in school. The music is a lot better now, but sometimes we take a “vacation” from our parish once in a while.
 
My area is chockablock with all kinds of Catholic churches with all types of architecture, liturgy, music, etc. I have two within easy walking distance (and I’m in good health to walk) and many, many more accessible by car.
The same is true when I am in a couple other dioceses where I spend time.

I can see the situation being different for people who are not in good health and/or don’t have good transportation to run around to different churches. I have also been in parts of the country where there are fewer Catholics and thus fewer parishes/ churches to choose from, and they are much more widely spread. All of these circumstances might result in people having only one option for Mass and sacraments.
 
Peeps said:
However, I seldom see posts from people who describe themselves as country folk involved with their small town’s only Catholic parish.
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Maybe because they’re busy enough there not to be posting about it here?

My small town’s only Catholic parish has lots of involvement from the parishioners.
 
Peeps said:
Please help me to understand. I really feel badly for people who are so obviously miserable in their parish and are struggling to accept what they feel are liturgical abuses, irreverence, “banal” music, lack of Latin, people who dress too casually, people who talk in the nave, etc. I think it would be good if they could pick up stakes and start attending a parish where they not so conflicted and unhappy.
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I think another thing you are seeing on here is that people just love to complain on the Internet. For many, complaining about a Mass or about anything else in life is a way of blowing off steam. Their purported unhappiness may stem from causes that have little or nothing to do with bad music at Mass. They don’t really feel motivated to do anything about the problem, such as find a new and better parish to attend. They just want to carp.
 
My town only has one parish. I could drive to other parishes in the neighboring towns, but I love my parish and am happy there.
 
I live in a large mega metropolis with scores of different parish churches, oratories, chapels and monasteries offering mass on a regular basis.

I am sure that different parishes in Pittsburgh have different liturgical practices and different priests. But I don’t see the advantage to figuring it out and going to different masses. There is a lot to be said for parking in the same space, sitting in the same pew to the same priest from the same angle every week, and seeing the same neighbors there.
 
Peeps said:
Do you have the option of attending a parish that is in keeping with your understanding of Abuse-Free and Liturgically-Correct? Do you love it?
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I live in a metropolitan area. There are a wide variety of liturgical styles/interpretations available throughout the diocese. Our bishop is very traditional. I have not seen or heard about widespread abuse in our diocese. I attend one of the more traditional parishes in the diocese. I love it!
Peeps said:
And while I’m asking, do you have the option of attending a parish that has music that you find uplifting and correct according to the documents of Holy Mother Church? Do you love the music and look forward to it every week?
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Well, the documents indicate that polyphony and chant should have pride of place. That is certainly true at my parish. We also sing a variety of hymns (processional and recessional). I do love the music. Some of our groups are better than others, but all of them do better than I could. I can’t carry a tune in a bucket!
 
But there is at least a bit of an expectation that Catholics are supposed to attend their local territorial parish, right? Catholics aren’t really encouraged to church-shop, I believe?
 
I don’t like a lot about my parish. It’s about as modern as you can get. I love the Latin Mass; this one is the opposite in every way. I could easily go to another parish if I wanted.

I stay though because, well… it’s Catholic. That’s all that matters to me. I chose the parish closest to my house and that’s all I needed to make a decision. Those priests are the shepherds of my area and unless they are convicted of crimes then I will support and attend their parish even if I sometimes cringe at the choir.

If I want to see something changed, I’ll volunteer to change it long before I pack up and leave. But I’ve been too busy/lazy to do that, so I just sit back and enjoy the Mass, and then then turn on my Gregorian Chant at home!
 
We’re required to make our territorial parish our first stop for necessary sacraments, such as baptism or marriage. If we wish to have these sacraments someplace else, then we usually need to get permission from our territorial parish to do so. We’re also expected to support our territorial parish financially.

Apart from that, there is no good way for a parish to keep its parishioners from going where they want for Mass. I have even seen a few parishes where the majority of the regular attendees were from outside the territorial area and were presumably bailing on their own suburban territorial parishes to run down to the inner city and build a “faith community” there.
 
Thankfully the Church is big enough to have different kinds of offerings for different kinds of people.

I live in a very Catholic large city with dozens of parishes. Everything a person could want is available here: hippy/dippy, hand-clapping, boisterous, “circus-type” church as well as a parish that only uses the 1962 ritual - all sacraments celebrated in Latin according to the Missal of Pope St. John XXIII.

And everything in between those two poles.

We also have an Ukrainian Catholic church, for those wanting the Divine Liturgy.

There’s plenty of church shopping that goes on, people roaming from one to parish to another, which isn’t always ideal. But it does go on.

When I was a boy we lived in Utah, where there are very few Catholic parishes - you were thankful to have a place at all to go to. So it’s all in the eyes of the beholder. We didn’t have options, but we didn’t care - we were grateful to have what we did.

When we find ourselves grumbling a bit too much about the music not being just as we want, or not enough Gregorian chant, or whatever we should recall how fortunate we are to live in America. In many areas of the world it is illegal and dangerous to worship as a Catholic; just something to think about.

The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Church,
Deacon Christopher
 
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My options are my own parish, the small indigenous Mission down the road that is even less in keeping with the rubrics, or two twin parishes 585 km away. So no option really. I take what I get and am simply thankful that we have Mass.

That said, I attended Mass at the archdiocesan Cathedral on the 23rd and saw that Communion there is distributed from glass bowls and glass cups where we have a few ciboria and chalices. But the music was organ and much better than what I have at home. So you rejoice for the good and pray that the bad will change.
 
Wow! I want to be like you!

Seriously, this seems to be such a healthy, happy attitude towards “church.” I love it!
 
A lot of people might go to a different parish for reasons that have nothing to do with their understanding of liturgy and abuses or anything like that, too. I’ve done a lot of church-hopping because I worked shift and had to work Sundays (either Sunday afternoon or overnight into Sunday) and my territorial parish didn’t have times that worked well with my schedule. Other people might just go somewhere else because a different parish has more programs for their children, or because they’re young and single and want to go to a parish with other young singles.
 
At my parish you can never understand the homilies because of heavy accents…and when you can it’s either a fund raiser drive or a pitch for the Democratic platform.
At my parish, the music is all done in the style of AC/DC and Kansas. Traditional hymns are mocked and scorned.
At my parish, confession is only offered on the third Saturday at 5 AM. The priests are never available during the week.
At my parish, the priests used 1970s left over felt banner material to craft their vestments in flashy psychedelic colours.
At my parish, gluten free crackers and alcohol free wine are used to for the Eucharist to embrace a broader congregation.
At my parish, the rainbow flag hangs proudly in the sanctuary.

…at least that seems to be the kind of parishes a lot of CAFers encounter. Never seen or heard of such a parish in real life.
 
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Our town has only one parish, so we’d be looking at driving out to the country or the next town over for church.

My wife isn’t a fan of the parish and has talked about going back to her “church in the country”, but hasn’t pulled the trigger as of yet.

I’m not sure how active many families are at the church. I can’t volunteer for anything (since I’m not Catholic), so I don’t attend much. Sign up sheets don’t seem to fill up very quick though, outside of the “regulars” as the priest calls them.
 
For me, unfortunately not. Pretty much everywhere in my diocese (that I’ve been to), there seems to be some sort of liturgical abuse.
 
Peeps said:
Do you have the option of attending a parish that is in keeping with your understanding of Abuse-Free and Liturgically-Correct? Do you love it?

And while I’m asking, do you have the option of attending a parish that has music that you find uplifting and correct according to the documents of Holy Mother Church? Do you love the music and look forward to it every week?
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These are the key parts of your post (bolded). I would suggest that actual liturgical abuse is extremely minimal and uncommon. I would also say that nearly all liturgical music is uplifting to someone. The complaints come from those who don’t get to see things done to their preferences.

For instance, I’ve already read two or three threads on here today about “abuses” that in reality aren’t.
 
I know you’re right. And I think that Catholics need to be very careful not to condemn something as an “abuse” or “irreverent” when in reality, it’s both allowed by Holy Mother Church and also worshipful and uplifting to other Catholics.

But I also know that even if the abuse isn’t really an abuse–if someone is unable to get past it and concentrate on the dear Lord Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and if their concentration is jarred and their heart is mournful–then it’s not uplifting for them and it’s hard for them to leave Mass and be joyful, witnessing Catholics.

I know that the Sacrifice of the Lord Jesus is still efficacious for their salvation, but it just seems that it would be so much better if all Catholics could be in a parish that is a good fit with their unique personalities and upbringings and yes, preferences.

I am very glad that I don’t have to attend a traditional Latin Mass parish. Although I know that the Lord works in strange and mysterious ways, I tend to think that my husband and I never would have stuck around to learn about Catholicism if the first Masses we attended were TLMs. It just is so utterly foreign to all the wonderful things we grew up with in our Protestant churches, and we both believed (and still believed) that “faith comes from hearing and hearing from the Word of God.” So we would have never returned. How sad that would have been.

I know others feel the same way about the OF Mass–they just can’t accept it, even though they know in their brains that everything is OK with Holy Mother Church.

So that’s why I started this thread–I would really like to see every Catholic in the U.S. have the opportunity to attend a Mass that prepares them to go out and give witness to Jesus and His Church.
 
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